At the end of the year, it'll be the last time I see you, won't it?
( his nails lightly trace the name, this is his way to get his mind off the conversation, but he's still listening — he doesn't want to think too hard, he doesn't want his luck to contemplate where this landslide will go. will it bury him to the point that he suffocates by his own words, will they equally suffer because of his actions? the thought settles in his mind, wondering if he should have reacted differently to everything here, had ended the conversation once he learned he was being scammed via high prices for simple cat treats.
that doesn't make his life difficult, but it's that unfortunate scenarios would be the ones he would get involved with, but he didn't turn away. he indulged without a care because he understands what he can't have, it'll never be his, and so he can go out into those things, and dismiss himself when he needs to. the way he places himself in someone's life is so low, a stepping stone so a person has something to stand on, to move forward, and he accepts that place.
if he could, he'd turn so that his back was on the floor, the two chest to chest, and a hand can rest on npc-kun's back, but he's a little bigger than the children komaeda took care of a long time ago. he can't do that so easily especially with how the other latches onto him like a crutch, attached to the hip, not wanting to let go of what they decided they want. )
I'm not a good person, but I'm sure that person would try to be, want to be, will be... ( he lifts one hand, he can't see, but he hopes that he's able to press his hand on the top of npc-kun's head, bringing them a little closer against his own. almost like he wants to press their heads together, the a simple gesture where komaeda closes his eyes with a smile. ) ...As for your hope, I'll be the judge of that, so it's best not to let me down.
( that's familiar too, "i want you", he's heard it before, this family wants many things they can't have, and komaeda hums in thought. something like him is better taken out with the trash, but this doesn't feel like obtainable, he shouldn't be in this position. )
I'm only with you for as long as you allow me to be, and when that time is up... it being one-sided won't be too bad. ( as he thinks of something, he hums a bit, a small whistle, and then... ) Do you think I'm going to make it, if I remind you of someone?
no subject
( his nails lightly trace the name, this is his way to get his mind off the conversation, but he's still listening — he doesn't want to think too hard, he doesn't want his luck to contemplate where this landslide will go. will it bury him to the point that he suffocates by his own words, will they equally suffer because of his actions? the thought settles in his mind, wondering if he should have reacted differently to everything here, had ended the conversation once he learned he was being scammed via high prices for simple cat treats.
that doesn't make his life difficult, but it's that unfortunate scenarios would be the ones he would get involved with, but he didn't turn away. he indulged without a care because he understands what he can't have, it'll never be his, and so he can go out into those things, and dismiss himself when he needs to. the way he places himself in someone's life is so low, a stepping stone so a person has something to stand on, to move forward, and he accepts that place.
if he could, he'd turn so that his back was on the floor, the two chest to chest, and a hand can rest on npc-kun's back, but he's a little bigger than the children komaeda took care of a long time ago. he can't do that so easily especially with how the other latches onto him like a crutch, attached to the hip, not wanting to let go of what they decided they want. )
I'm not a good person, but I'm sure that person would try to be, want to be, will be... ( he lifts one hand, he can't see, but he hopes that he's able to press his hand on the top of npc-kun's head, bringing them a little closer against his own. almost like he wants to press their heads together, the a simple gesture where komaeda closes his eyes with a smile. ) ...As for your hope, I'll be the judge of that, so it's best not to let me down.
( that's familiar too, "i want you", he's heard it before, this family wants many things they can't have, and komaeda hums in thought. something like him is better taken out with the trash, but this doesn't feel like obtainable, he shouldn't be in this position. )
I'm only with you for as long as you allow me to be, and when that time is up... it being one-sided won't be too bad. ( as he thinks of something, he hums a bit, a small whistle, and then... ) Do you think I'm going to make it, if I remind you of someone?