yogen | npc contact.3

[ If he holds his hand out, the counselor will give the nuts back. Hot potato. ]

So you align yourself with the gods? Funny. Tell me more about you and them.

[ Komaeda's question? Never mind that ]

Well, you know the story of the Mistletoe, don't you? We all take part.

( anyway, komaeda's question. )

Your turn, tell me about the people you spoke about.

[ He eats his macadamia nuts. ]

...Tell, tell.

( puts hands on counselor's legs and shakes. )

[ He has nice toned legs for somebody who literally sits around and eats snacks all day, but maybe that's a perk of somebody who never changes, still at his prime even after hundreds of years. ]

Two people I've known for a very long time. I wonder if you've met them properly yet... I'm disappointed in your answer, but at least you didn't say the one name I feared you might.

( STOPPPP STOPPPPPPP OH IM SICKKKKKKKKK ok... so komaeda keeps his hands there shaking because deep in the recesses of his mind, he doesn't understand there's something COOKING in the arata bloodline. shake shake. )

Properly... I haven't met anyone with names like that yet, but if I pay attention to my surroundings... I should. I'll do that, say hi to everyone I meet.

( he huffs a little, not because he's upset, but he's entertained by the comment. luckily komaeda doesn't mind being a disappointment, but... )

It's the same reason why you said Saihara-kun was better suited for me, right? ( but he wants two names, let's see. ) Do I tell you two transfers, or two of the people who have always been here in this school?

[ NO DON'T HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WHILE TOUCHING HIS LEGS ]

That depends on if you mean "always," or simply for a very long time. The two aren't necessarily distinct.

( WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT IS YOU HAVING KOMAEDA TALK ABOUT. )

...Hm, a long time then, but we've all been here for quite awhile...

( he leans back from touching his legs, and instead he pulls up his sleeve, tapping his wrist where a yellow scarf is wrapped around his tallies. )

I started here with six, but that doesn't really tell me how long I've been here, I could have just had a good run in my one life.

( but he's not like rokkun who has been here since god knows when, so it's hard to choose between a transfer and a native in that sense. )

[ why are you asking me, I never know what Komaeda's talking about ]

That's true. It doesn't tell you how long you've been in between, either. I hope that puts those numbers into perspective.

( THEN WHY COULDN'T HE TOUCH LEGGG!!! )

Then... Kaneko-kun and Shujinkou-chan! I think I've made a connection, maybe, probably.

[ BECAUSE THAT'S WEIRD komaeda's weird, he can do what he wants ]

"Maybe, probably"? What sort of connection do you feel between you and them?

( HE'S JUST SOMEONE'S DADDY, AND KOMAEDA'S BEEN A DADDY WHATS THE ISSUE!!! )

Kaneko-kun had a strong urge to do something idiotic to me, so he must feel things that I don't. ( ... ) Shujinkou-chan seems to do her best, I like those that put forward an effort.

( good enough, even though this is none of his exact feelings. )

I'm more curious in their hope!

[ you can't just go up to somebody and say "this is okay bc we're both dads" and proceed to rub their thighs

... ]

That's nice. And what sort of connection do you feel between you and them?

[ One is the opposite of connection and the other is one-sided, do better ]

( can he have one more squeeze? )

...I feel as if Shujinkou-chan, in the right circumstance, could help bring hope. She's a boring, talentless individual... and those are the underdogs that give people the thought that maybe they can do something, and so watching her do and act causes a force.

( if he means on a personal level, komaeda's very personal with hope, but that's what it's always to him — actual feelings for people gets harder? because if he admits anything, his luck will remove them clean, and he's aware, so he remains mindful. saying something like this however does show he must have some good thoughts about her. )

Do you want me to talk about your son?

[ maybe if he eats his macadamia nuts

there's a very strong urge to repeat the question a third time, but maybe this is all Komaeda's got. Everybody here's going to die again eventually, so really, he has no need to worry about his rebound luck ]

I want you to talk about what you want.

[ And if that something is his idiot son... Mizuki crunches on another macadamia nut ]

( sighs, put one on the desk. )

You sound disappointed in me.

( no, he can just tell that he didn't answer the question properly because he avoided it purposefully, and he crosses his legs in as hands now rest in his own lap. )

Scum like me is capable of having friends, but... it feels as if it'll be short-lived, almost undeserving because it's me. I don't put that term to the people, and I focus on their hope, I want to have a hopeful connection. Even at the cost of my own life. Me and Shujinkou-chan are at a start... I finally sat down and listened to her problems, so I tried to help.

[ Yes he does. He offers Komaeda the nut bowl again. ]

Why must you deserve things? Why not just take what you want?

[ That hopeful connection. He knows how; he's capable of it. ]

Does something being short lived make it not worth it? Must things last forever?

( he'll take out four nuts, and he eats one to mull over the question, it's always been like that to him. not being able to deserves, not being able to take what he wants properly. he thinks chiaki also asked him this. )

...That's how it's always been, I can't deserves, because there are others who deserve it better. I'm their mediator between those with hope, and those without it. ( he pauses, chewing on another, they're not bad, but it gives him time to decide on what he wants to say. ) I can, and I do, but I'd give it to another, so it's never actually... mine.

( he's not trying to throw a pity party for himself though, this is how life was chosen for him, as someone who doesn't have an actual talent, one who doesn't give hope like the others. )

It makes you appreciate it more before it's gone. ...I usually go through life not thinking about those sorts of things.

Most people don't take the time to think. You know better than others, though, don't you, Komaeda? That hope is not a limited commodity. Hope begets hope... something for all.

[ Regardless of whether they deserve it. It's what he's always saying about his Ultimates, bringing about that shining hope whose light would envelop the world— and like it or not, he is part of that world. ]

So tell me. Why do you not deserve it?

Hope is something endlessly in motion that can be given to anything and anyone, and there are others who talents are to help those who need it... to have something you can control and assist others, which gives them more hope... it must be nice.

( it is something for all, but he also knows there's no hope in his mediocre talent, so all he has is to help those who have hope. same thing as always, he'll put his life on the line, but he pauses for a moment. )

It's funny to say this to you of all people... I never heard such words from my parents, and even during my admission to Hope's Peak Academy, they said I wasn't the ideal choice, that it was wasted on me. ...I denied entering, but they kept asking me to come back even though my talent was meaningless.

( but he respects hope peak so much despite knowing the good and bad about it, the hope that started from that place is what made the country what it was. he admires that place personally despite the horrible things that he did to it along with others, a place where hope shined bright and defeated despair. )

There's no need to lie to myself when it's said to my face over and over again, people don't make the most out of what's told to them.

You take the thoughts and feelings of others into consideration. [ ... ] Selectively.

[ The negative things. The positives seem to be wafted off to become part of the passing breeze. ]

Tell me about your talent, and what those others saw in it.

Do I...? I try to think of everything.

( that stands out, but he believes in them regardless, and so he sits and listens. he doesn't feel anxious, but he doesn't really like the latter part of the conversation, and that's because he doesn't like to talk about himself.

he eats his final nut, chewing slowly as he places his hands on his knees. what do people think of it? )

...It's a mediocre talent that brings no hope like other talents that I know. ( like how a detective can use their talents at the ready, figuring out a case step by step, how the musician can sing at any given moment and give hope to the people that hear it. though those skills aren't tangible, they can be seen, heard, give people hope that something will happen, a beautiful construct crafted to help the individuals around them find happiness and joy.

what does luck do...? )

...They don't believe in it, or I just didn't seem lucky, but perhaps it's because that luck didn't work for them? ( people died for komaeda's luck, he gains so much as others lose. ) There's various types of luck, two others have this same skill, but I find that their version is better than mine.

( truth be told, his is better than naegi's, but there is someone else whose luck is better than komaeda's. since this is about him, he only finds disappointment in himself. )

...I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student, hm... now anyway, if I graduate, I can just be Ultimate Luck again. ( he guesses there is one way to prove it, but... it's a lot to ask. ) Arata-san, will you try and kill me? Throwing knives, using guns, your choice.

[ leans back, swipes a dagger from the desk drawer, and stabs Komaeda in the gut.

It's a quick in and out, not enough to be immediately fatal, but give it some time. ]

( he doesn't mind how it's done, as long as the counselor goes for it, komaeda will accommodate accordingly, or so he thought. the desk doesn't break under him, because that would be too easy, and instead the knife piercing his skin causes a blinding, intense burning cold in that general area. the kind of sensation when a person touches dry ice with their bare hands, an uncomfortable feeling that settles in his abdomen. his body shakes, eyes slowly glancing down as he watches the blade covered in his own blood swiftly come out, hanging in the counselor's grasp. a few splatters of blood covers his pants, and komaeda's brain jumps from here to there, finally exhaling his breath he thought that he would choke on.

he gasps again, his body falling forward off the desk with a thump to the ground, and he isn't sure if that was tear in his body or what, but an area like that causes him to raise his organic hand to cover it. his entire body goes from one temperature to another, he's hot, and then he's cold, and he feels himself shivering just a bit as he that pinching sensation builds up in the area. his shirt absorbs the blood, causing a nasty blotch on his uniform, and a few drips manage to drop onto the floor underneath him.

if he hadn't pulled it out, this could be an easy fix with the right treatment, but he's left alone to his own devices. he coughs, accepting of this, but he isn't scared, no... it's more like he's been waiting for it. inflicting pain on himself is a whole different demon, but having someone else execute it without a second thought excites him, that his shock becomes excitement, and he laughs amused by this. the amount of blood that slips between the cracks of his fingers is questionable, and even inhale makes him feel sick, but he isn't displeased, rather as he tries to keep himself from falling completely while on his legs, and his one prosthetic that's holding him up; he looks up at the counselor with a smile. )

Nice aim...

( it's not bad, is what his brain manages to come to, and most of his senses are numbed anyway that this could be worse than what it is. he finds that there's nothing to be gained from his death though, and deep inside of his mind, he knows that he can't die hopelessly, he reminds himself his body will be used for more than just an example.

time's ticking. )

Ahahahahaha...! You did that... because you're guessing I won't die?

( isn't there a penalty for killing students here since he's a counselor? )

[ The warm hardwood grows hot with Komaeda's blood, the darkness only creeping in his periphery rather than swallowing him up whole. The counselor leans forward, elbows on his knees, and simply watches Komaeda bleed.

tick

tock

... ]

I guessing that you don't truly want to die. If you survive this, it will not be because of luck.

[ It will be because of Komaeda himself, his decisions, his actions. The counselor keeps his hands to himself, watching. ]

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