[we live and die together maybe natsume'll take chiaki's words a little more to heart and actually tell subaru how much he means to him next time!!!
how shock tends to dull pain.
how it doesn't quite feel real. subaru figured this wasn't it. but if there was even the slightest chance then he wasn't going to squander it, he wasn't going to just throw it to the side, because komaeda's right -- you do everything you can, you give all you can, just to see the person you love shine. he gets it now. he doesn't wholly agree but he understands just what drives a person to it, how important someone gets to be.
he trusts natsume not to let him die, at least. they're best friends. they're partners. they've been thorns and hooks in each others' sides since first year, since they made that wonderful mistake of reaching out, of allowing, of finding similarities even when anyone else might've seen none. busy parents. an inability to make friends. passion and love for the things their family left them, and how they want to use them to make people smile -- even here, even now, in this school of the dead.
it's why he agreed to try in the first place.
warmth and iron flood his senses, his own and, faintly, the familiarity of natsume's. it hadn't even been a month since the practicum, since his shoulder was dug a little too hard into and the burning tingling stretched from fiber to fiber. he was more awake for that, so in his dream-like state he thinks of it like drawing lines in constellations, from one star it another and how they can make pictures of any grouping. how so many people have different views of the sky. so many stories. it's nice, it'd be fascinating if he was more interested in that particular section of study but nonetheless it's nice.
subaru breathes out, long and slow, unlike the quick his body had panicked with, something that felt like hours ago. he squeezes his eyes, feeling slowly returning to him, consciousness with it, and he hears, dully, the words cast almost like a spell.
...
natsume...?
the name doesn't vocalize like he thinks it does, it's more of a groan in the very chest natsume presses so hard against, and when subaru opens his eyes and sees the dark of the sky, the ball of light flickering and fluttering as if hanging on with all its might, and finally registers his best friend. the weight on his chest, the circles continuously drawn, the paleness of the other's face and how he trembles, how his eyes are unlike anything subaru's seen before, and
yeah, natsume's still pretty. but he decides that he never wants to see this face on the other again, just like he'd decided he never wanted to see the same on keigo's. a silent promise digs its way deep into his heart and subaru lifts a hand to put it on natsume's, to stop him. natsume'll hate him for smiling, but he does, sky blue eyes warm with life.
no subject
how shock tends to dull pain.
how it doesn't quite feel real. subaru figured this wasn't it. but if there was even the slightest chance then he wasn't going to squander it, he wasn't going to just throw it to the side, because komaeda's right -- you do everything you can, you give all you can, just to see the person you love shine. he gets it now. he doesn't wholly agree but he understands just what drives a person to it, how important someone gets to be.
he trusts natsume not to let him die, at least. they're best friends. they're partners. they've been thorns and hooks in each others' sides since first year, since they made that wonderful mistake of reaching out, of allowing, of finding similarities even when anyone else might've seen none. busy parents. an inability to make friends. passion and love for the things their family left them, and how they want to use them to make people smile -- even here, even now, in this school of the dead.
it's why he agreed to try in the first place.
warmth and iron flood his senses, his own and, faintly, the familiarity of natsume's. it hadn't even been a month since the practicum, since his shoulder was dug a little too hard into and the burning tingling stretched from fiber to fiber. he was more awake for that, so in his dream-like state he thinks of it like drawing lines in constellations, from one star it another and how they can make pictures of any grouping. how so many people have different views of the sky. so many stories. it's nice, it'd be fascinating if he was more interested in that particular section of study but nonetheless it's nice.
subaru breathes out, long and slow, unlike the quick his body had panicked with, something that felt like hours ago. he squeezes his eyes, feeling slowly returning to him, consciousness with it, and he hears, dully, the words cast almost like a spell.
...
natsume...?
the name doesn't vocalize like he thinks it does, it's more of a groan in the very chest natsume presses so hard against, and when subaru opens his eyes and sees the dark of the sky, the ball of light flickering and fluttering as if hanging on with all its might, and finally registers his best friend. the weight on his chest, the circles continuously drawn, the paleness of the other's face and how he trembles, how his eyes are unlike anything subaru's seen before, and
yeah, natsume's still pretty. but he decides that he never wants to see this face on the other again, just like he'd decided he never wanted to see the same on keigo's. a silent promise digs its way deep into his heart and subaru lifts a hand to put it on natsume's, to stop him. natsume'll hate him for smiling, but he does, sky blue eyes warm with life.
subaru knew he'd pull through.]