yogen | [open] Sir, your vibes are atrocious

Entry tags:

elsword: noah ebalon

[open] Sir, your vibes are atrocious

WHO: Noah & Whomstever
WHAT: ~~Crimes~~ I mean uh Vibing with Noah
WHEN: End of May, after the sleepover
WHERE: Everywhere but outdoors!
WARNINGS: Wolfie's shitty sense of humour and also this meme

Hello friends! This is mostly just closed prompts for now so let me know if you want one. ^^ Feel free to hit me up in the discord server/my personal discord or plurk if you want to plot something real quick!

wolfchan

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[To literally no one's shock, Noah can be found in the middle of the second floor hallway playing with his shadow cats, because genuinely what else does he do these days? Truth be told, he's kind of fucking bored out of his mind.

There are maybe way too many tiny cats this time. At least ten, in fact. And Noah is... laying in the middle of the floor? There's one shadow-cat on his chest and the rest are sort of just running around and playing with each other; it's all theatrics of course, because Noah's, uh... you know, controlling the things, left arm cloaked in shadows and raised up toward the ceiling as he swings his wrist about absentmindedly.

Also, he owes Angel snacks and he didn't deliver, so, uh... oops.]

[An eruption of barking cuts through the silence, as Angel never agreed that she had to be nice to these little shadow cats. She chases one around the corner, tail wagging wildly until she realizes there’s a ton of them hanging out.]

What in the....

[Oh, hello from the floor. The source of the cats is one (1) tired-looking teenage boy. Noah's at a weird angle to see Angel, so he inclines his head and stretches his neck way too far just to get a fleeting glimpse of her approach.]

Hey, uh...

[And then that position hurts his neck too much and he goes back to staring at the ceiling.]

You don't like cats?

Oh, I wouldn't say I hate cats...

[As much as she used to]

They're just a lot of fun to chase, that's all.

[Maybe he should've learnt to make shadow dogs? Noah's sure he could do that, it's just... effort, you know?

But he's an asshole and a teenager and he winds up very quickly flipping his wrist to the left, making one of the cats absolutely dart off in another direction. He can only manipulate the shadows within ten feet of himself, but hey, that's a range of ten feet to boredly torment a whole dog! Sorry, Angel. He owes you double-snacks now.]

[Angel lowers herself to the ground, tail wagging, and she darts after the shadow cat. Breaking into a bunch of yipping as she does. It's not really torment if it's fun!]

[So Noah wants a dog now.

He chuckles a little bit, rolling over now onto his stomach to watch her play. If he could make the cat make panicked yowling noises, he would, but that's beyond his ken. What he can do is make the little shadow bound its way up the side of the wall and sit on top of the vending machine for a spell!]

I would've loved a pet growing up... [he mutters wistfully, half to himself.]

[And she places both paws on the vending machine, giving a few mighty barks before she hears Noah's voice.]

Did you say something?

Just, uh... I was talking to myself, but... when I was a kid, I always wanted a pet. We couldn't have one, though.

[Which is... part of the reason he's taken to having shadow cats, because now that he's older he's also constantly on adventures and that means no pets. There is, in fact, currently a shadow cat perched on top of his head.]

[Sometimes Noah is allowed to not Be Sad and actually do something productive, which today is trying to cook. Key word, trying, because he genuinely has no idea what he's doing other than the fact he saw Nene use the oven forever ago and he's pretty sure he knows how to work the stovetop.

He does not. He does not know how to work the stovetop, clearly, or at least he doesn't know how to watch what he's cooking. Maybe someone should sign him up for home ec classes, because, uh... now the whole kitchen smells like burnt pancakes! Good afternoon, everybody, please no one walk in here to watch Noah sprint halfway across the kitchen to rescue the frying pan off of the too-hot burner before a fire starts, since he got occupied looking for other stuff in the kitchen to cook.]

( admittedly, when sidney smelled burning food, he absolutely runs in, ready to spring into action- only when he registers that nothing is on fire does he relax slightly. it doesn't take long to see what's happened, though...

like father, like son, huh. )

Noah, is everything alright?

[Noah is comically standing there with two hands wrapped around the pan's handle, holding it up and away from the burner and staring down at it like it's somehow the burner's fault that he has an unflipped half-burnt pancake in there. Fuck you, stove, this is your fault.]

U-uh... I was trying to make breakfast...

[It's like two in the afternoon.]

I, uh, I saw Nene use the stove once, so I thought it would be easy...

( oh noooo what is with these people and their empty confidence in their ability to work a stove? he almost wants to laugh. with a sigh, he shakes his head. )

When you're still learning to use new tools, you can't just assume that you know it from watching someone once. Maybe you should have come to Clamor's lesson...

( quietly, he closes the door behind him and walks over. )

Here, let's clean up and try again.

[Yeah, but that would have meant ~~interrupting dad flirting time~~ admitting that he doesn't actually know what he's doing when he was, until this moment, pretty confident that cooking in this modern-ish age is just "turn dial on stove".]

Uh... y-yeah, sure.

[There is a mess on the counter of various ingredients and sticky globs of spilled batter, made messier by the fact that Noah just kind of sets the pan down on it and takes a step back to let Sidney do the magic. The burner is still on as high as it can possibly go.]

( ah, kids who didn't have gordon ramsay yelling the basics growing up.

sidney turns everything off, before stepping back. )

We'll want to clean up a bit- it keeps things more organized, and saves you from having to clean up one great big mess at the end.

[He was a rich boy but he was also bedridden, so he also couldn't learn anything from the servants at House Ebalon, so sad.]

Y-yeah, okay.

[That much is easy! Noah wets a rag and scrubs the countertops down before he has to quite literally scrape this burnt-ass pancake off the bottom of the pan and into the trash. After that comes scrubbing the rest of the burnt bits off with a sponge in the sink and to be honest, Noah didn't think it would be this much of a pain in the ass to clean. He'd be rude and leave it for the next person if Sidney weren't standing right there, honestly.]

( while noah cleans up after himself, sidney handles the pan itself- because yikes. when something is undercooked and raw at the same time, you know things went badly. shame about having to throw food away in a situation like this, but...

soon enough the pan is clean, and sidney goes over what all is left. )

So, pancakes?

[Pancakes.]

Y-yeah, just... something easy. Which apparently I made not-easy.

[GENIUS.]

I didn't think I had to actually watch them that closely. I was looking for stuff to make on the side in the meanwhile. ...at least nothing caught fire?

When working with food, there's only a few things you can truly leave unattended. When you go to cook, it's best to go in with a plan beforehand. Okay? So let's take a look. What were you thinking to make as a side? We'll get everything ready first.

Oh, um... just a fruit salad. I was wandering around looking for a cutting board and a bowl after I found some bananas. I don't... Uh... I don't really know where people keep those sorts of things.

[If they could eat the meat, he'd make that too, but the meat is questionably-peopley and Noah's not interested, thanks.

There's not too much in the way of fruit, no melons or anything, but there are some bananas and strawberries that Noah has pulled out and sort of left off to the side in light of the Burning Pancake Incident.]

( sidney goes to respective cupboards and drawers, making sure noah is paying attention. )

Here is where the cutting boards, cutlery and cooking knives are, respectively. Before you cook, you'll want to make sure you have everything you need so as to avoid burning things. Okay? Now, I'll get this while you go over ingredients and get what may be missing.

[Boy, the whole "I've never cooked in my life and mostly ate scraps on the road" thing really is showing now, huh? But Noah commits that to memory. He's not sure why he was looking for a cutting board all the way in hell itself when it was literally right fucking there.]

...okay. [He says, and then wanders off to find more fresh fruit, and then comes back with,] Oh, you know what? There are chocolate chips in the cupboard up here. We can add those to the pancakes.

[And there he goes, climbing on top of the countertop instead of asking Sidney for help because he's a gremlin (and short).

It doesn't take long to find everything they might be missing, though, and with that successfully out of the way, Noah stands by.]

Why not? Allergic?

Is that the reason for all these cats?

N...no, not entirely. My older brother was supposed to be the heir to, uh... [Fuck, how does he explain the El Masters? Maybe it's too complex to talk about right now, so he settles on,] ...well, he was supposed to represent our household, basically. My parents...

[Neglected Noah.]

...my parents were focused all the time on trying to help my brother perform his role and train him. So we didn't have time for any animals on account of... [on account of the fact that their parents couldn't raise him because their household name was weighing on his brother's success.] ...You know, all that.

And then I was a pretty sickly kid, too. They said it was a terminal illness at the time. So... yeah, I guess the cats are kind of because of that?

Oh...

[Angel’s tail stops wagging, and she loses all interest in the shadow cats. She’ll walk over and come sit by Noah.]

Are you... still sick?

[There’s a lot to address there, but she’ll go with the most important question first. She cares about this weird family.]

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[open] Sir, your vibes are atrocious

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Closed to Sidney

SON......

sidney like i really gotta teach both you and clamor how to cook huh

hes gotta take care of his husband and son.....

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