yogen | ( semi-open ) pain welcomes me

[ He was just tapping his pencil idly against the desk when it started. A shriek that's equal to nails on a chalkboard, digging into his eardrums and causing his blood to boil with that initial confusion and shock. He's unsure of what exactly is going on, especially when their foes are invisible creatures clawing at everyone around them without hesitation.

Hajun's eyes widen just as a sheering pain shoots through his right arm; nails digging into the muscle, tearing through skin with ease. Like he's nothing but paper being sheered through by a pair of maliciously sharpened scissors. His heart beats rapidly against his chest, the blood spilling with a wet sound. Like he had only just casually dropped a bottle of water. Something so casually mundane twisting into a hot-seated pain that grows numb, raising his arm and throwing it down against a nearby desk.

He doesn't see it, but the imp flails off of his wrist. He's left feeling numb and a little more weightless -- which it good.

Should it? Hajun doesn't even know what hell they're being forced to endure. Nothing that he can put a target on, draw a line and pour all of his desires of killing into a single object until it truly does die. And perhaps that's a good thing, as their seemingly normal classroom becomes overwritten by rust, because it gives Hajun something else to focus on. ]

-- Nene! [ His real voice claws out of his throat unceremoniously; there's no time to pretend to be the picture perfect boy. He feels something on his back, attempting to tear into the material of his uniform, but before that happens he's moving in the direction of the other girl and grabbing her hand. Just as they're both pulled into the void, forced into a world that Hajun doesn't even see warping all around them because he's too busy being a good nii-chan and hugging his imouto for dear life.

And he only thought about gripping her so tightly so dies so she doesn't have to be killed by invisible imps for a split second. It's okay. He's not doing it. ( :) ) ]

( here's the thing: nene knows about the imps. she's known for some time- they're cruel little pranksters, but in exchange for candies they had left her alone, and she could gently shoo them away from others. but that was last month, when they didn't think they were going to die. when she sees them make their way into the room looking more vicious than before, however...

well, it's pretty easy to see things are about to go very badly even before one launches itself at hajun and any attempt of warning is too late, cut short by claws digging into her shoulder and words dying in a startled scream. it's only because she was holding a text book that she's able to force it to back off, and then she's ready to escape with hajun, looking directly at the swarming imps with an unfamiliar anger...

except he's pulling her by the hand into a protective hug- it should be the other way around, she's the one who can see the monsters- and the void school kicks in. with the sudden absence of the creatures, it's eerily silent for a moment- the only thing she can hear is their own heartbeats before she realizes. )

H-Hajun-nii!! Are you- ( of course he's not okay, idiot. but with the imps not following them to the void, she can let herself tear up a bit, clutching the textbook to her chest with one arm and tugging hajun a bit closer. ) I-I don't understand...

[ The silence is overwhelming; Hajun feels as if time is going by slowly, inching closer into nothingness. The blood in his ears deafening every word that leaves Nene's lips -- and he feels like he's underwater, shuddering and out of breath. The blood dripping from his arm suddenly much more real.

He can feel every inch. Every dig and broken piece of skin. Hajun wants to scream and yet he doesn't, realizing that Nene is hear and he's gripping onto her so tightly that she may as well be the anchor keeping him sane.

Hajun pulls away, lightening his grip, and takes a glance around the void atmosphere. ]

Where are we? This isn't... [ No. This is the school -- just different. ] Everyone is gone. Those -- monsters, too, seem to be gone.

It's, um- Clamor mentioned it at the last meeting, but it was closer to the end of it I think. I-If you see blood hit the floor you're brought here, and to go back you have to break a mirror... but it'll take you back to where and when you were, s-so those things... might still be there...

( one hand is loosely clutching his blazer, the other is clamped tightly over her arm- the textbooks long since been dropped, since it's not like the imps have followed them. but... )

D-did you see them?

( or was it just her, still? should she even be keeping her sight a secret in a place like this? it nearly got them killed just now. she could have warned hajun sooner, they could have run- and if they return to the real world, then... then the imps will still be there. waiting. )

... [ He overheard it mentioned, but a piece of him didn't want to believe it -- even if a piece of him knew better than to think otherwise. Everything that sounded fictional and out of reach was just a stretch away; brushing against his fingertips, breathing in the same air. Hajun should know better by now.

He does. He does, and that's exactly why he had that moment in time where he earnestly thought of killing Nene.

He's getting worse here as the time passes. ]

I didn't. [ He answers, standing up and holding her by the hand to help her climb back up on her feet. ] Does that mean you did?

( she can't lie- not now. even if she tried, it'd be obvious that she was, anyways. hajun deserved better than that. )

... Yes. I- they were never like this, though- o-or I promise I would have said something!

( there's a tone as she speaks, like she's begging for forgiveness- for not saying anything when the imps came in, for keeping secrets in the first place, for being unable to shoo the beasts off like she'd been able to before with 'stolen' candy- like this is all her fault. )

[ Hajun's hand goes slack, unable to mask his confusion. His brow raises, lips pressed together before he asks through a strain: ] What are you talking about?

[ He wants to laugh? His lips tug upward, as if trying to. ]

Were you aware that there were monsters hiding this entire time?

( it's so hard not to flinch at the first question- even if it's warranted completely in this situation, that sort of doubt is precisely why she never wanted to tell most people about her sight to begin with. guilt and fear twist together in her stomach, and she wants to take a step back instinctively- )

They weren't monsters before- pranksters, but... they could be reasoned with... I used to be able to get them to leave for a while, without any trouble-

( deep breaths, nene. try to keep calm. it's not like you just got your arm sliced up and are now confessing one of your biggest secrets to someone who doesn't look happy about it or anything- oh wait. )

I- I can see things others don't. Ghosts, and spirits. And- and those things. I-Imps, I think-

[ He doesn't reach out to her in reassurance. Instead, every little detail and reason comes to him as odd and almost performative -- like she's telling him this now just to remain in his favors.

Hajun can understand keeping secrets. He can understand not wanting others to see an opportunity to manipulate and use you, but at the same time this is... ]

And you just decided to burden yourself with the task of biding them off until they got tired? [ There's a tinge of anger in his voice, gesturing to the empty space of the void. ] Look at how well that did, Nene. You didn't tell anyone? I know I -- [ I can't help.

He stops. Breathing in, breathing out; admitting how useless he is makes him more irritated than anything else. ]

You had to have told someone.

( her voice is quiet, breaking at different points. maybe hajun does register it as something else- but she's really just a child who's afraid and feels like she's in trouble. )

I- That's what I do back home.

( the minamoto family handles the especially dangerous ones in the city on their own, of course- but she and hanako-kun are the ones setting things right among the spirits back home. but hanako-kun is trying so hard to shelter her from everything and she doesn't know what to do in this hell hole and nothing is like it was back home- )

M-Mister Lucifer and Mister Clamor know, because they can too- ( and a sickening guilt twists in her stomach, even if they don't need to keep it a secret like she does. ) -Hanako-kun also knows, b-because he's the first ghost I ever saw, and Sakasaki-senpai and Noah-kun...

Edited (code gooF AND I MISREMEMBERED SHIT SEVERAL TIMES IM SORRY) 2021-06-20 21:45 (UTC)

[ He's giving her a list of names -- A list of people, he assumes, that she trusts more than him.

Hajun shouldn't think so selfishly, given his own secrets, and yet it feels akin to a knife to the gut. The blade twists, his organs cave and bleed, and instead of red dripping down his side he's instead standing numbly. His expression is a mix of understanding and disappointment; he feels small.

He feels useless. ]

Is it because I'm not useful to you? That you couldn't just tell me that much -- or did you think that I'd just push you away?

Usefu- what?!

( even with her ever-increasing anxiety and panic, she can't keep the disbelief and confusion from her voice. useful? is that- is that how he sees people? then why would he even want her around when she's her? there's nothing to gain unless you're hanako- )

I- Should I not be scared to tell people?! They all know, b-because they found out on their own or because they're like me! I-

I'm! Scared! I'm scared, but I-I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't. I didn't want this- o-or the imps, or anything-

I'm sorry...

[ He's being selfish --

Hajun is childish in the worst way possible, for a person who wants to keep everyone at arms length. He crumbles the moment he feels like he's being abandoned, like he's no better than the people around here who can do something incredible. ]

I don't know. [ He answers, earnestly; his lips tugging into a pained smile. ] But I never would have abandoned you.

( if it wasn't for the lingering reminder of the curse being whispered in the back of her mind, maybe she'd let herself just cry finally at his words- but even with the reassurance, seeing ghosts and being basically part mermaid are two very different things.

or. maybe at least after things have calmed down a bit. if she doesn't want to immediately take a nap, that is, after they escape the room... )

That- Is... that what I made you feel...?

( is her voice somehow softer and a tad scratchy? yes. don't mention it. )

I feel like I'm someone you can't trust with these details.

[ And considering where they are, with dangers in every corner, wouldn't someone want to protect someone they cared for? Even if it meant revealing a secret -- never mind that Hajun is a complete hypocrite. ]

( she can't even say 'it's not like that', even if it's not entirely accurate. she kept something a secret because she feared the response. that's the short of it. but... )

It wasn't you.

( of course, she can say that as much as she wants- and it's true! but what are the chances of him believing her now? and she can't even blame him for it. )

Then what was it?

[ He wants an explanation; to settle his nerves, selfishly solving his anxieties before he attempts to reassure her. His brain functions on the past and harboring all of his hatred and ambitions there -- the moment he's brought to that memory of being abandoned he wants to defend himself in the way he never could as a child. To be confrontational, to ask all the questions he couldn't, because that's the only way he'll at least feel a little more normal. ]

( isn't it obvious? she's a coward. )

... I don't- the people who do know, they're either like me- ( different. ) or they found out when I wouldn't be able to lie about it. I don't tell anyone. Not even my parents or best friend know. ... Because I'm scared. And I was more scared of someone like- like Komaeda-san finding out than I was of hurting someone else.

I didn't even consider it a possibility.

( hajun had nothing to do with it. it is all her. ... nene wonders if she really does deserve being called kind and considerate all the time when this is also true- that she's selfish (she did admit to it) and scared and not nearly as brave as she wants to be. after all... facing monsters and being vulnerable are very different things. )

[ Hajun finds comfort in the music room.

Perhaps it's because he knows that both Allen and Anne would, too, in their own way. A reminder of home -- a reminder of each other -- and in his loneliness he feels a little less empty. As if their presence was there, guiding his fingers to lightly dust against the keys of the grand piano before he decides to withdrawal.

He couldn't find the inspiration to make music, let alone play a few notes. As if performing just too much would be enough to fill him with the despair that he's far away from the people he wants to see the most.

But he does. Right now. Tapping at one key and holding it, and then stretching his finger out to another. Slowly, he doesn't start a song as much as he simply plays a sound. His expression distant; void, as if he's someplace else, until finally he hears the door sliding open. It's then that his fingers come down on the keys harshly, creating an incoherent sound.

Correcting himself, Hajun turns his head after he breathes out a sigh. ] My apologies, am I disturbing you?

Oi, Kae-

[ Normally around this time Hyde would visit the other Ultimate Pianist... If to just listen to them play and create a song or tune of his own. On this day though he thought of running something by her, and hoping to have another episode where they both duo together. When he slams the door open, he wildly almost says her name but when his eyes come upon Hajun he all but freezes up. ]

No.

[ Well considering the photo he earned that sits in his guitar case, which is strapped against his back and from what others have spoken to him (NPCS). He was aware the other was into music too, but didn't think he'd catch Hajun at all in a place like this. Unaware that they were dissociating or dealing with their own feelings, he rather rudely steps in and excitedly. Slams the door shut behind him and says: ]

Now youre not going ANYWHERE!!

[ It didnt matter if other people were in the room. ]

[ They're at a standstill -- but mostly due to Hyde's immediate silence, with Hajun patiently waiting for him to either finish his sentence or respond in proper. At the same time his expression grows a little less distant and more neutral, tilting his head slightly.

And then the man goes and slams the door behind him. Blinking thrice, Hajun scoffs at the sudden demand. ]

I'll leave as I please. [ But he doesn't. Not now. Because he doesn't want to. But Hyde would really have to stab him to stay in this room if he had the desire to just up and walk out. ] Is there something you need from me?

YEAH! I didn't know you played music - actually I had a feeling cause I have this picture of you I've been serenading the fuck out of. It looked like one of those magazine pictures. [ Hyde says a bit long winded in this conversation. ] It had two other people in it too, but they were cut out when I already got it.

[ For Hajun whom seemed to reminisce about the two that had been cut out of his photo, perhaps it was a bad idea to speak about it so ordinarily. As if the two were something to be taken out of the 'picture' so to speak, easily. Then again it wasn't Hyde who did it - but he totally would have if the two were still upon it. Hyde clicks his tongue and sits himself down on a chair some bit away from the other. ]

Anyway, I'm bored as fuck. Youre going to play some hard music with me.

[ He states, demandingly. ]

[ He's not entirely sure how singing to a picture of him suddenly makes him any more musically inclined than the next person, but Hyde isn't entirely wrong. It makes his lips curl a little, a lopsided frown as he pieces together that something about all the information the other just dumped is... off. ] What do you mean? You're saying the photo had more than just me in it?

[ Hajun lifts up on his feet, his fingers leaving the piano. ]

Let me see it. I'll only even think of entertaining you if you do.

Ehh..? Why?

[ Hyde is by this point... Curious at what will happen next, and the guitar on his lap opens up with a quick movement of his hand. Rearing out the picture from it, dancing it within the air. Like toddler trying to act as if the other cant reach it despite Hajun being taller than him with Hyde sitting down. ]

Don't ask. [ His voice isn't flat, but the demand is soft and boyish. Eyes void of anything but the desire to see what was in Hyde's possession. He almost wants to snatch him by the neck and keep him from toying around too much --

And he does. Just slightly. His fingers relaxed around his throat like a low hanging necklace, his other hand reaching out to grab him by his wrist. Stopping him from waving it back and forth as he notices his face.

And there he sees the two holes. The spaces where Allen and Anne's faces should be. Disappointment fills his heart. ]

Where did you get this?

[ You know when you grab a dog by their scruff - even if Hajun didn't do it tightly. It was enough to cause him to freeze up - if only because the others hand was on him. That was enough. ]

Dunno, it was in front of me one night with my guitar back in my hands.

[ He answers very obediently. ]

[ Despite his composure, Hajun has been having difficulty falling asleep at night. If he's not finding an excuse to adventure into the emptiness of the school while the eerie silence shrouds the school, he's staring out the window to find nothing but clouded nothingness.

The school day approaches, and again he's hardly had any sleep at all. Might as well try to nap before that bell rings -- but apparently the NPC's are pouring in and he's sitting at his desk. His head occasionally gently nodding up and down against his chest.

Also don't mind the fact that he's got a death grip on a pencil okay. He won't stab you with it (maybe). ]

[ Hajun finds a comfortable place to sit at the stairwell climbing up the clocktower to admire his phantometal. He had suddenly woken up with it at the end of last month, and despite all his best efforts to retrace his footsteps he can't seem to remember how it came to be in his possession yet again. Revisiting the place he had woken up to find it lying beside him -- he's cleaned it, and it shines in the light like it would back home.

His heart can't help but feel overjoyed, like finally being able to move a finger that's been numb all this time. But that delight is accompanied by a smile that spreads across his features that seems... much more twisted than his usual demeanor.

This is a weapon. He's been using it to bring down his family's company for well over a year now; tearing apart his enemies with upbeat music. It's almost laughable.

Is it fucked up that he wants to rocks someone shit right now? Probably. But he hasn't made anyone cry in awhile. ]

( semi-open ) pain welcomes me

ghosts! ( closed to nene | start of june )

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june 10th ( after school )

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june 11th ( early morning )

june 15th ( lunch )