yogen | [CLOSED] try for the right kind of life

[Noah comes bumbling into Clamor's homeroom in the late afternoon with a notebook and a pen in his hands, said notebook open to a hastily-scribbled "To Talk About" page that has a bulleted list of Serious Topics™. They're vague; Noah's smart enough to not list full discussion topics in case the notebook gets stolen or otherwise looked at against his will. He doesn't need to be interrogated.]

Hey, um... do you have a bit? I found out some stuff. Some good things, some bad things... what do you want first?

[his son is so organized........ for the hell of it, let's say Clamor is also checking on his own "shit we gotta talk about" notes, because of course they both have these. He's looking a little tired and this is probably after the de-imping went down, but he puts on a smile for Noah.]

Ahaha, maybe let's start with something positive... I have a few things to share as well. You first?

Okay. Um... You remember how you ditched me at the sleepover?

[Rude.]

Well... The library ghost that you guys went after. Her name is Haruka. Uh... Natsume helped me try to conduct a seance for Harque and that's who appeared instead.

...she liked the drawings of cats I did, so I was thinking I might visit her in the library after midnight some time. If... If you want to come with me?

I wouldn't say I ditched you... [he just. left without explaining anything and didn't come back until hours later. yeah, totally different.]

Haruka... so she does have a name. [let's, uh, not unpack the part about holding a seance for Harque tbh, but he's filing that little thought away for later] I think she'd like that. I've been going down there more often myself lately. I'll bring you along next time, it'll be fun! [wait until noah finds out he's going down there to SORT BOOKS but they can have fun after that part, really...]

Since we're already on the topic— [his turn to share] I still can't do any magic, but ever since that night I've been seeing some odd things. The imps that were running around, [...should probably also talk about that, huh...] that man that tends to the courtyard at night, Haruka... I was a spirit magic user, so it's not that unusual, but I hope this means whatever has been blocking my mana is starting to wear off.

That's called ditching, Clamor.

[TEENAGE BOYS KNOW EVERYTHING]

You're getting your magic back, then? That's good. Um... the imps are what were ripping people's throats out, right? [Beat.] I couldn't see them, but I keep hearing people talk about them. I think Nene could see them too. A while ago, one of them attacked me, I think.

[It was some weeks back, but Noah leans down to roll up his pantleg and show Clamor the spot just above his ankle where the deep gashes have long since formed new scars.]

It wound up dropping me into the void school, obviously. ...I kinda just stayed there for a couple hours. I didn't feel like leaving.

[The depression train has arrived at the station.]

...on... the topic of the void, um. [Noah's about to get in trouble,] Have you met that Add guy? He's from Elrios, too. He... ugh. When we first met, he teased me and said he was from The Order, and I might have stabbed him... He's fine now. That was the second incident of being in the void, and I had to fight the shadows off of him so we could get out after I figured out he wasn't actually in Henir's Order. The third time wasn't my fault, but it turns out if you go back there, the shadows don't seem to remember you cutting their heads off.

[Noah.]

[hoooooo boy does his smile drop when he sees that scar... there is significant relief knowing that the imps have been dealt with, and that Noah is safe in the present, but this happened and he didn't know about it...? He almost reaches to check the wound, like he'd even be able to do anything about it, but he stops himself and sighs instead, wringing his hands uselessly.]

Noah... you did get that checked by the nurse right away, didn't you? You need to tell me about these things sooner! What if you had been more seriously hurt?!

[and... he would've done what about it, if an imp just ran up and slit Noah's throat while Clamor wasn't around? Thank El they've been dealt with, but he still feels so helpless... and all the other people who got hurt because they took so long to make arrangements...

his shoulders sink with misplaced guilt, but really, he just can't help it] I'm sorry... the imps should be gone for good now, but I should've done something sooner.

[anyway, that guilt is pretty much the only reason he doesn't tear Noah a new one when he admits to two more voidschool trips, though he still allows himself another exasperated sigh whilst dragging a hand down his face.]

Someone else from Elrios, huh? As long as he's not with the Order, but please try not to go around stabbing people.

...why would I get it checked out by the nurse?

[Noah doesn't trust anybody in here. He's never spoken to the nurse and he doesn't plan to; she's like, right by the counsellor's office, isn't she? Noah's heard that the counsellor is a freak and he plans to avoid faculty of this shithole for as long as possible. His tone comes across as a bit cynical, but he hadn't meant it that way.]

And, I would have, but I've had worse injuries. It's not your fault. It's the fault of whoever summoned them.

[Yeah who could that be haha, anyway the more pressing topic is...]

Add deserved to get stabbed, that's all I'm saying. I thought he was from the Order, so that's why I stabbed him. [With like the biggest shadow-spear he could muster, but still.] He was saying that the school isn't an illusion made by the Order, and that we're wrong about that being true... this place is outside of Elrios, and they have no business here. I'm not sure if that makes me feel better. Now I just feel like...

[Like he's behind, he supposes. Like they're wasting time, like this is a sick joke that keeps getting worse and worse and worse, like they'll never get out, like his vengeance will never be wrought and—]

...I just feel sick, I guess.

You should still get it checked out by someone... Senku could take a look at it. [senku assigned doctorkin by all of yogen, sorry blame figaro for ditching you] The imps were... well, I've met the people who summoned them, and I believe that it was an honest mistake. Lucifer and I made sure that they cleaned up the mess they caused. They won't be causing any more trouble like that again, I can promise you.

[just don't make him say that it was the cult, because he might be a cult apologist now, just only for this cult. Henir's Order is still the worst, but the satanists are A-OK in his book.]

... It may not be an illusion. I don't know. [he was never sure. maybe he feels a little guilty for acting so certain of it, back when they didn't know shit and thought looting random desks might help. sigh.] Whether it's an illusion or not, or the Order's fault, or some other group entirely... what matters is that we don't let them control us. We'll find a way out of here, whatever path we have to take.

[so cheer up a little. don't get so hung up on your revenge schemes... not everything in the world has to be connected to the same damn cult.]

Edited 2021-07-04 07:37 (UTC)

[Yeah, but the looting of random desks was pretty fun, looking back. People failing their math exams is super funny and not at all relatable, please do not look at his grades thank you.]

Yeah, you're right. I know you are. [Clamor always is, at least in Noah's eyes. Even if the original hypothesis was wrong.] So... speaking of this place. This is news to me, but... After that slaughterfest with Ishimaru, I went to confront Maya with the, uh... intention to fight her, honestly.

[Gonna own up to that here, Noah was really considering decking someone, his blood was boiling.]

We wound up talking instead, and she said some things that are bugging me. For example, apparently I've been here for a year or more. The thing is, my memory only goes back to right before the charity auction.

[He's getting The Look when he says he went there to fight Maya, boy pls......

Clamor doesn't look too worried about that statement, though. He puts a hand to his chin thoughtfully, thinking back to a previous conversation.]

Back in May, when Nao was rescued... sorry, I should've mentioned this before. I asked her what she remembered from last year, and if she recognized any of us at the meeting then. She said she didn't. If we can trust that her memories are reliable, then no one who was in our group at the time could've been here last year, at least not until after her near-death.

[and he feels pretty confident in that, so... he's not worried. their memories are definitely fake.

(unless, maybe, everyone was dead and took awhile to respawn, so their "previous years" in Yogen actually happened much longer ago... but he doesn't have all the pieces to put that together, alas)]

[Noah does not fear The Look when it comes to Maya. He'll revenge-punch a woman he doesn't give a shit.]

Are any of our memories reliable, though? [Beat.] ...I don't have my journal from Elrios. You know the one. If I can find that somehow like I found the Moonstone, that might tell us something. Maybe.

[But that also being said...]

The other thing she said was that you haven't been with me the entire time. That can't be right, though. You're always with me... but it explains why we're in different "years" I guess...

All I'm saying is we can't count our own memories in here. Which is rich coming from me, I know.

[well. that's unfortunately true... even if it doesn't seem like Nao's memories have been altered from last year, do they really have any way of knowing for sure?

Ugh. He'd rather just write everything here off as pure illusion... but he can't ignore the other possibilities.]

I was able to find my spellbook... maybe your journal will turn up eventually, too. [... though, actually, once it's out of his mouth he realizes that raises even more questions, since he died a thousand years ago and hasn't had his spellbook since then. So how the hell did it turn up like that?]

Maybe... if we've been here for more than one year... maybe I was still a sickle back then? I doubt Maya would've recognized me as a person if I looked like that at the time.

[then whatever lead to him having a living body again would've happened during the years they can't remember... it does explain some things. but only some.]

...maybe, but then how would you have gotten a body?

["Especially one that looks like how you did in Seven Tower", Noah wants to add, but he realises he hasn't exactly come fully clean about that save for one misstep back in Elrianode. He bites his tongue; now isn't the time. He'll just get sad all over again recalling how he tried to stop that Henir's Order member from killing Clamor and how spectacularly that failed.]

The more I think about this place, the worse everything gets. I kept trying to get answers from Maya, but she wasn't much help. —Oh, speaking of...

I'm sure you haven't forgotten about... Aiko, right? I think that was her name. When I was trying to ask Maya about why killing is something that's apparently necessary in this school, she wouldn't answer me and kept telling me to think about it, but she did tell me in basic terms that the person who killed her is Komaeda.

[And then no one was shocked.

Well, okay, Noah had been a shocked at the time, but thinking back to how Komaeda spoke to him in front of her body in the case... he should've known.]

I mean — she didn't give his name, but there were some hints she gave me. Apparently she witnessed it. [And, angrily, he adds:] When I first asked her if she saw anything back then, she said she didn't. Stephanie said Maya lies her ass off, though. Not... not in those terms.

[And he definitely didn't teach a ten year old the phrase "pissed off" either.]

[CLOSED] try for the right kind of life

mid-june mini family meeting!!

me coming back to this.... during the actual family meeting rip its fine

If there are typos it's prolly cause I wrote this on my phone at 4am

hell yeah 4am typo phone tags

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