yogen | network, un: r.kawai / 6/21

( he shifts the ceiling tile back in place with a smack )

that is because. when you visualize your dream life. you unconsciously believe that it is unrealistic.

( GET THIS SHIT OUT OF MY FACE RN )

LEAVE ME ALONE YOUR DROOL FELL ON THE FLOOR

( he skitters around until the tile moves, and he falls out of the ceiling onto the bed with rika.

normal again. )

Hi.

( WHAT THE FUCK??? SHE JUMPS AND YELPS AND JUST BARELY AVOIDS BEING CRUSHED BY HIM? HELLO? SHE'S INJURED? )

Get off! ( she only has one good hand but she will use it to shove him )

( NOT THE TIKTOK OF TRUSTFALL BUT CEILING FALL... listen, he would never crash on her, maybe. )

Calm down, Kawaii-san! Are you still in pain... I wanted to see how you're managing.

( listen, some people stay on the pda to check on her wellbeing, and komaeda appears in a freaky fashion to see up close. )

Ahaha! You look amazing! Missing a few limbs wouldn't have hurt, though...

Of course I'm still in pain, idiot! It happened like, two days ago!!

( stupid... shoves him more. )

What the fuck!? If you want missing limbs, I'll gladly cut off yours!! ( SHOW HER THAT ARM SHE'S BONKING IT OUT OF THE SOCKET )

( there he goes, rolling off the bed because when push comes to shove... his ass on the floor. )

Yep, you are... but your attitude hasn't changed, isn't that wonderful...? The way your growth amounts to your hope?

( he's going to sit on his knees, crossing his arms on the bed so he can lay his head down. )

I can cut off my own, so I'll pass.

( can he STOP doing puppy things when he's around her?? whenever he rests his chin on a surface and looks up at her like this she's just... knibknob............. )

My attitude will remain bad forever, so don't get your hopes up. ( she huffs, reaching to tug at his metal arm.

give her that. )

Lemme have it then! ( for absolutely no reason other than that she's feeling bratty and childish )

No, I don't think it will. You wouldn't let anything or anyone put you in a position where you can't move forward.

( as she tugs, he stares at her arm, and with a sigh he begins to press into a few buttons where a few clicking sounds can be heard. his arm unlocks, falling into her hand without any difficulty, and all she has to do is pull it out from the sleeve. the fingers are stuck in the same position before he removed it, but it seems to still be in good condition aside from the cat scratches here, and there. )

Because your hope is growing, and if you remain in a bad mood... how would that effect others, Kawaii-san.

( his organic hand taps on the bed as he thinks about it. )

Your efforts, what you done to end up in here... it helps motivate the group, and the hopes of the deceased.

( oh, he actually let her have it. she watches him unlock it, a little surprised, but hey... an arm... acquired?

here, she'll wave it around for a bit. pretty neat. )

Hmm... dunno. Are you saying I'll be a downer to everyone if I stay depressed forever? ( well... he's not wrong, technically, but is that really the way to inform her of this??

... she knows, though. she knows she can't afford to let negativity and passivity consume her whole, can't afford to remain stagnant. as long as she can move forward... )

I know, dummy. But the same goes for you, yeah? Even when things get really shitty, I guess... we can help motivate each other.

( it's just a reminder of his actions, a sin that he carries along with him from his actions — nanami complained once before that komaeda gives up himself way too easily, at that time it was for despair. right now, it's for a hope that's slowly blossoming, growing before his eyes that he gives credit — not a lot of it, but enough where he believes he can speak on some terms of understanding. they're almost the same, he guesses, he remembers how rika spoke to rokkun, about their well-beings, how low they are to the world. )

That's their problem to allow someone's mood to throw off the trajectory of their hope... pathetic.

( besides, he always feels negative, but he keeps up a smile to do what must be done. )

There are people who like you, follow you side by side... if you cease to keep moving, they'll do the same.

( he's seen them before, at the start of this place when everyone was too confused and scared to do anything — like how rika stayed around with norton, how everyone slept in pairs, how their trust was at their lowest. it felt like... they were at loss on what to do. komaeda couldn't allow that, just like he can't allow this. ) I'll do anything to see hope prosper, now matter what happens to me... so stay hopeful if you want me to act accordingly.

( she's not as outspoken about it as he is — not at all, in fact, hiding all of her self-hatred and self-depreciation beneath empty words of self-love, instead. but he knows now, just what she thinks of herself, and there's no real point in pretending otherwise.

people who like her... she doesn't think she's that influential over other people's lives, but it's not as if she means to hold anybody back, either. )

That's on them. It's fine to leave me behind. ( so she shrugs, smacking the bed with his arm idly.

you... come... now... )

Is that just a reaaaally convoluted way to say you don't want people to get too depressed to keep moving? ( she snickers, slowly figuring out the terms he uses. hope... it doesn't mean nearly as much to her as it does to him, but she's always felt his definition of the word was different in the first place. )

...

( he hums in thought, looking off to the side to see if the walls have anything on them, like a window to stare out of to kill time. there's not much for him to use aside from the usual cabinets, and curtains that block the beds so they can't look into someone else's business. even with all of that in the way, nothing stops komaeda from thinking, until she smacks the bed with his arm, and he finds himself crawling on top properly. once he does, his weight balances out with hers, and he keeps one leg hanging off as he crosses the other, and his one arm settles in his lap, and his jacket hangs. )

I don't believe that. ( ... ) If it was fine, you wouldn't have went out your way to search who did that to Sena-kun.

( a sensitive subject, but he thinks that if she truly felt comfortable with being left behind, she wouldn't have done what she did. the act of going out of her way to risk her life, she probably does that to give herself meaning in someway despite feeling disposable. )

Ahaha... You would have given up, but there's still some hope in you.

( it's why she can't give up, people thrive off that hope too. )

( are they laying next to each other now... sighs, turns her head to look at him properly. she'd turn her whole body, but it kinda hurts. at least she'll scoot over a little, to make more space, since someone decided to grow so much... )

... I said it's fine to leave me behind. Not... that it's fine if I leave people behind. ( it shouldn't matter, she knows, but... she's not someone of great value, she thinks.

so, if it were her... it'd be okay, maybe. )

To be honest, I've given up before. But... ( she knows he's likely to think lesser of people who have — then again, she did pick herself back up... ) I know now that it's dumb to succumb to pain, y'know? Yeah, life sucks, but... you gotta keep moving. And you gotta keep living, if you want it to improve. So, even if it hurts, I'll keep going.

( and she smiles, still fiddling with his arm. taps him with it. )

So you gotta keep going, too. Stupid.

( if he went back to sdr2 he'd be more of a bitch to the untalented, give him this 5'11" energy. )

It works the same way... Leaving people behind, being left behind... they'll know you, they'll remember you...

( as the final remnant to wake from his shell, he would have thought the same that they left him all behind. komaeda was willing to do so in his dream state, reject the idea of those in his head for reality, and as someone who doesn't care much for others... he doesn't know... seeing that there was people who actually stayed (probably by hinata's command), it was a different feeling, odd, something he doesn't deserve... )

If you ever hurt... Will you tell me, Kawaii-san? ( he scoots over to give her room, as much scooting as he can do with his arm taken. it's sort of hard when his sleeve gets stuck under him, but he's trying! )

I'll tell you all about your hope, and how it's needed for to uplift those who can no longer move forward... ( he looks at her, allowing himself to be comforted by his arm. ) I can only go as far as everyone's hope goes, or I'll have to take it into my own hands.

network, un: r.kawai / 6/21

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