yogen | feel like it's all downhill;

( she's a little more accessible, now that she actually attends classes again. so, it's easy enough to stumble upon her, as she exits the classroom and glances over at stephanie, only a tad surprised.

people have been asking her about the fundraiser, so maybe it's about that...

well, either way: )

Yeah, sure. Here?

[she pauses, looking around, taking into consideration the amount of people...]

... No. Somewhere else.

( oh. something sensitive, then. )

Music club room is usually empty at this time... ( she suggests. it's the first thing that comes to mind — )

[... oh no now she feels like she's being Difficult and that's her least favorite thing to be.]

Um, can it... be not over there? [you know. up the stairwell where she opened up a door and there was a corpse.] Maybe, in, um...

[where's a place with less terrible memories.]

... The bathroom?

( it's not a problem, rika wants to assure, but, you know what. the bathroom is right there, and maybe if they're lucky, nobody of any importance will overhear anything.

... maybe. it's still a bathroom, so people are bound to come and go. )

Sure. ( she shrugs, taking the literal three steps it takes to get to the bathroom from 1-A, and waiting for stephanie to join in.

just... girl stuff... going to the bathroom together... don't worry about it )

[just girl talk!

when they enter the bathroom, she looks around once more. just to be safe.]

... Hiro told me to be careful in the dorms the other day. [beat] I think it's ghosts.

[ghosts are girl talk right. she doesn't actually know many girls.]

...

( huh, well... they can't exactly go examine the dorms, so it's not as if they can confirm or deny that it is ghosts.

it's worrying, but not entirely unexpected, if she has to be honest. )

Well... we won't know for sure until we get them back. And, uh, if there's something... we'll just get rid of it. ( there's a whole occult club here now it's fine they got rid of the imps so — )

I think they'll be dangerous ones. Like the ones that... [y'know. natsume.]

... There's two more things, but they're kinda... Do you want the really bad one first, or the less bad-sounding right now but probably really bad later one?

[what does that even mean.]

Maybe we should talk to Imp-kyun about scouting the premises for us, when we actually get them done...

( oh god. )

Uhh... I guess I'll take the really bad one first, and the less-bad-right now one... later? ( WHAT A CHOICE!! )

[she takes a deep breath.]

I don't know if anybody's told you this before now... But, I saw those posts the really creepy guy in my class did, and I read them... Hyde died a few days ago.

... that's... ( she looks down, at her hand, and then at her pocket. in there, two parts of a single necklace — a last gift from jekyll, before he'd disappeared.

she assumed he disappeared. she assumed... he was gone, because hyde pushed him out, just like he told her, just like he worried about, but — )

... I should've known... ( that when she didn't see him around for a few days, it meant... ) It's been a little too quiet without him... huh?

A little. There's others that are just as loud, though.

... It was his own fault. There's nobody to blame for what happened but himself. [because she's like 90% sure rika won't stab noah over this but that's too much of a risk.] But, um... Yeah. He's gone. There wasn't a body. Servants are weird like that.

I know... I know it was his fault.

( she doesn't know what happened, but she knows this: hyde was reckless, and dumb, and too arrogant, too eager to get hurt, stabbed, too excited about the idea. she also knows he didn't think he could die, because he claimed to already be dead.

she knows all this, but still... )

I just... I don't think Jekyll deserved any of what Hyde did, that's all. ( "a hero," he called her. she wrinkles her nose, and her shoulders slump. )

... and the other bad thing? ( let's just get this over with. )

There... [winces] There wasn't too much of him still left there, in the end.

[hyde had won. she could feel that much.]

Um... You're friends with that soccer guy, right? I have questions I've been wanting to ask him, but he's... probably not too interested in talking to me. So, I figured if I told you, then you could ask, and he'd be more open to it.

... I know... ( but that doesn't make it any better.

in fact, that makes it even worse, somehow. jekyll... it was his body, originally. he was the first. so why did hyde push him out? )

He... left me a letter, and a pair of necklaces he'd gotten here. ( she looks down, sighing. it's... well, most people are probably relieved hyde's no longer around. she should be relieved he's no longer around — he killed a person in front of her, traumatized her, fought her on more than one occassion. the scar on her neck is because of him, too, so... why does she feel sad, regardless?

sighs. stupid.

the mention of a 'soccer guy' piques her attention again, though. rokkun, right... ? he's no longer on the soccer team, but she assumes that's who stephanie means. )

I mean... yeah, sure, I can try. ( he hates answering her questions, so no promises, but. ) Rocchi's pretty secretive, but... I'll give it a shot.

Yeah... Henry was nice. He carried me to the nurse's office after I passed out one time... [a slight smile] I think that's why I wasn't too afraid of teaming up with Hyde. 'Cause Hyde was more like him than he wanted to admit.

... The memories he doesn't have anymore. The names and faces of his family... He must have traded them to the counselor. What did he trade them for? [...] And it probably won't come up, but... If it does, can you tell him I'm sorry about what I said? Being hurt isn't a good excuse.

( teaming up? she was... too depressed to really pay attention to stuff, so she's unsure about all of that, but —

what stephanie says next makes her pause, eyes widening. the... counselor. right, the person you see when you commit a murder. she knew that much, knew rokkun had killed before, but — )

... he traded away... his memories? ( is... that a thing you do, when you go to counselling here? and not even bad memories — his family, their names, their faces... she's a little stunned. ) I'll... y-yeah, I'll pass that on, sorry, I'm just... ( really confused... )

When I was with Hyde... [wait. there were only three people in that room. one of them is dead. the other can't tell anyone anything.

what she says is what happened. as far as anyone else is concerned.]

Hyde traded a memory for a bean bag chair. It was... something from here, from the time we supposedly forgot; I saw it, when the counselor took it from him... I don't know what the value of your family's names and faces would be, but more than a bean bag chair. I want to know what he got for it.

( god, what the fuck goes in that office. isn't koma-kyun supposed to go in soon? she can ask him then, but for now... )

... ( this is... a lot to take in. the fact that rokkun was willing to forget these things... she's not that big on family, she really isn't, but thinking about it makes her sick, somehow.

it's like forgetting a part of yourself.

that date on the 9th is about to be real awkward. )

I'll ask him. Thanks... for telling me.

[she nods, and, for a second, it looks like she's just going to leave. but, something makes her linger.]

... Are you gonna be okay? [it still doesn't feel like the right thing to ask people, here. but, she has nothing better.]

( she's so zoned out, standing there, in the middle of the bathroom, that it takes her a few seconds to register stephanie's question — after which she snaps out of it, with a small shake of her head, and looks up, wide-eyed. )

Oh... yeah, just... ( much to think about, as billy ray cyrus would say... ) I need to process all this, y'know?

( it's fine. she'll break down about this like, a few times, and then she'll be brand new, rinse and repeat. )

[nods again]

... Would a hug help?

( would it help? she doesn't know. she's not used to getting these, so it's hard to say. more importantly, she's not used to asking for comfort of any sort, so she just shrugs, looking puzzled.

she doesn't move, either. whatever steph decides to do, she... doesn't feel like going back to class right now. )

... I haven't been able to give as many as I've been used to, so this is just as much for me as it is for you.

[because she may not know many girls but the one she does know also sometimes has problems with being Too Cool to ask for hugs.

so, she steps forward, gives an incredibly gentle hug to mainly her right side, smiles up at her, and then, well, she's off.]

( ah. yeah, that's not bad. it reminds her of the hug she'd gotten from her friends, when she came back from almost-dead. she smiles a little, grateful, but otherwise doesn't move; stephanie is free to let go and leave her in the bathroom, staring at her reflection.

... where to even begin — )

feel like it's all downhill;

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