yogen | Awakening

Entry tags:

Awakening

Who: Shin Tsukimi and Anyone
When: July 2nd
What: Opening Post!
Warnings: None as yet.

Shin’s arrival to Yogen is heralded by a slam as he sharply closes his locker and dizzily leans against it while two sets of memories jostle each other. He gathers himself enough to glance around, grab his jacket, and lock it, mind furiously racing as he puts it on and tries to process how he is here. The raw relief flooding through him is turning sour at the immediate possibilities that come to mind.

A: School Life (Day, Misc)
Shin… keeps going to classes he half-remembers, eyeing any non-human-looking students he sees. He feels exposed (and also mundanely chilly) without his scarf and beanie, and his hands keep drifting to the empty space of either. When classes end he returns to his locker, puts them on and pockets the items inside, before trying to leave through the front doors and finding he… can’t. Ah. So that’s how it is. You can catch him in such states as staring at the School Rules with an unreadable expression, at one of the vending machines with more of a debating one, or in one of the classrooms sitting with his elbows on a desk and his hands tugging his beanie down over his head.

B: Washing Day (Evening)
So it turns out one of the side effects of dumping a bag of dirt out inside a locker is that everything in that locker... becomes covered in dirt. So if you go into one of the bathrooms after 6PM you may see the strange sight of someone in a dirt-dusted purple jacket not-so-gently washing their clothes in one of the sinks with half his face buried into the similarly adorned scarf around his neck, because as furtive as he’s been about waiting for one to be empty it’s just a bathroom and people can just walk in. Ask him how his day is going.

C: Safety In Numbers (Night)
At this point you may see Shin file quietly into whichever room seems to have the most people in it and sit down in a corner or seat. Somewhere he has a good view of the room; if you catch him looking at you he’ll give you a polite smile and glance away, fiddling with his scarf. He’s exhausted, and his head will occasionally dip and jolt back upright as his body tries to collect the day’s debt.
Believe it or not this is him starting to try out that ‘trust’ thing again… or maybe it’s just there’s no dorm rooms he can lock. Baby steps.

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[That hits a just a little too close to home.]

I'm not here to entertain you, Komaeda-san.

[It's dropped the faux-friendliness, into something matter-of-fact and colder. Then it vanishes again.]

Hm.

[It's an unhappy hm. He probably will have to, since there's only so much fish he can eat before feeling ill, even in soup form. He pockets the can and pushes his scarf further up his face.]

What kind of 'special' are we talking here?

[Probably not good special. He's already making mental note of the need to go with someone.]

( his lips purse together in thought, and then his expression turns gentler as he takes a step forward, one hand reaches out to grab hold of shin's arm. he leans down a little so he can look up at the other due to their height difference — )

I'm only curious of your hope... nothing more and nothing less... don't forget that, alright?

( that said with a kind smile, he lets him go right after, not too worried about the change in his voice. rather, he welcomes it as he places distance between the two. it's so that he can look over the items within the vending machine to give shin an example, and he squats down pointing at a bag of chips. )

Just ask for anything... I got panties once, but that's just my luck... ( he shakes his head, disappointed. ) You'll be luckier than me, I'm sure... but you get extra goodies, it's a fun, little gamble.

( with that said, he's slipping his pda back into his pocket... without buying anything for himself. )

[What does that even mean.

Shin pulls his arm back after Komaeda lets go; slowly, like he's avoiding yanking it away, just like he's trying not to let the wary glint show in his eyes as he takes a step back. People like the sort he is rapidly suspecting Komaeda is... they like getting reactions.]

I prefer not to take chances, ahaha.

[He says, you know, like a liar who isn't as prone to panicked impulse decisions as anyone else.]

Well, be seeing you around!

[He's going to take his leave, now that the PDA has been summarily delivered.]

....

( their reactions seem too... unwanted, almost like shin doesn't want to be around him, and komaeda accepts that like everything else. he knows that people hate being around him, that they can't stand someone who smiles as if he knows something that they don't. the catch here is that komaeda doesn't have it in him to smile so carefree, he's too busy thinking about the things around him, specially when shin decides to leave, there's part of him that wants to stop him.

maybe it's his luck that's tugging at komaeda, reminding him that only he knows when something bad is going to happen. )

Do you want me to come along with you... since you hate taking chances.

( his attempt at having shin stay and not leave, even though he does seem to be ready to go. )

Besides... I want to eat what you have... let's go to the Home Ec room. ( he's helpful, but also trying to prevent him from going any further. )

[Shin knows he's being semi-blockaded, that Komaeda doesn't want him to leave.
But he could. That's a comfort, that he could just brush him off and walk away... except that he can't leave the school. He's effectively trapped in here with him whatever he does.]

We're already at the vending machines...

[It's just stalling, because that's not what's going on here, even if people offering to help him does irrationally rankle. This is the sort of choice that by making it, shows where weight falls. He has to actually make a decision here.

Maybe... he could use this. It's not him being young and naive and thinking someone who invited him to his house after school was the coolest. He's an adult now, and he knows how these things go, and he can handle this. If he was able to make a temporary truce with Sara for the sake of something they both wanted... he can maintain a sort-of friendship or the appearance thereof, despite the warning signs, for the sake of safety.]

Sure, why not. You can just ask, you know.

[To the home ec. room it is!]

They're not special right now.

( as the ultimate lucky student, he would know, so he's going to ignore them as he looks towards shin's direction, as if trying to read him. komaeda doesn't know feelings, but he can read people when he needs to, and it's pretty easy to see how the other reacts. it's not the other wears his heart on his scarf, but people like this are a little different, then again... the same can be said of komaeda.

things like being straightforward, komaeda's not the type to do that, it's beneath him, or rather... not part of his character. tedious, a puzzle, someone a person can't easily understand is the role that he plays, and he does that even now by taking a look at his pda. out of all places to lose it, and for the person to find it, and return it to him... how lucky does that make him? he remains silent, lips pursed into a straight line as he checks how many merit points he has left, and he has enough to keep him going for awhile.

by the time he makes it right next to shin, he looks at him for a moment, before handing him his pda. )

If you need anything else before we go, you should get it...

( because above them is the elongated light bulb, and it seems to be shaking almost like it's going to fall...

shin has a choice to walk away as komaeda stands underneath it. )

[Yeah he's not going to risk taking something else from the vending machines with that happening. He can come back later, with the PDA. He backs up a safe distance, keeping an eye on the shaking light, before looking back down at Komaeda.]

Are you just going to stand there?

[He has to have noticed that, right? Otherwise the cryptic statement's an orphan. The warning's said with the casual, unconcerned tone of someone asking if someone else is coming over or not; no trace of the worry his other self would have infused it with. Shin himself is just going to stand there, and watch.

He has seen customers get up to some Nonsense. After a point it's like 'sure, if you want to do that, go ahead'. Shin's particularly got no room to throw stones in his glass house because he got someone to whack him unconscious with a two by four for sympathy points once.]

Should I not...?

( he gives a cursory glance around, but doesn't look up because he isn't sure what the problem is — no matter how much distance shin keeps from him, komaeda cants his head to the side confused. with a shrug of his shoulders, he'll take a few steps towards the other, and once he's out from under the lights — it comes crashing down instantly behind him, shattering glass echoing through the hall, and the pieces sliding over the floor.

he stops in front of shin, watching him without looking back, and even as pieces of glass hit the back of his shoes, he remains calm. )

I can stand by you, but it feels like you'd rather I not do that.

( he notices things, but with it said in a lighthearted tone, it seems that he only says that to be playful. of course, he's not too beat up over almost getting flattened by lights either. )

Huh? I gave that impression?

[He's getting his footing here, falling back into a familiar beat. Ignore the mysteriously faulty lightbulb, because Komaeda's ignoring it. Deflect, turn things back. Draw both on his name, and... maybe on what he's seen of Miss Sara's.]

Listen, if you don't want to actually go, you can tell me.

( whether he did or didn't, komaeda's not saying anything. instead, he remains quiet while finding what part of the conversation he wants to engage with. rather than picking at the other's need to get away, he chooses to carry on with previous conversation — )

Do you eat your chowder warm or cold?

( yep, dementia hits different, well, he's unable to stay on one topic the entire time. this isn't really a problem if people know how to navigate the subject, accepting how it goes, and moving on. besides, nothing's better than beating around the bush without meaning to.

this means he's ready to go. )

Is this a trick question? There's only one way to have it.

[People who enjoy cold soups are bizarre creatures, and also, utterly wrong.

This is a bit more familiar in another, more painful way. Those false memories...]

(Want to handwave the soup time?)

( a trick question, but something komaeda doesn't continue his thoughts on, and rather he's already walking forward — taking a step over the light, as he makes sure the other follows. it doesn't take them long to get to the home ec room after they walk up the first flight. as soon as they make it to their destination, he'll wait until shin is caught up for komaeda to take the can of chowder out from his hands. )

...

( despite his mood a little down, he's capable of reading the directions as he walks forward inside. he stands next to a table that has a few dishes already stacked on top, and with a few kitchen utensils here and there. there's a knife sitting on the edge of where he is, and it almost looks like it's about to fall off towards the ground (on komaeda's foot if he's not careful). he doesn't notice it though as he leans against the table, causing it to shake slightly... )

I wonder if putting mushrooms in this would be good...

( but feeding anything to someone off rokkun's tree he personally gave komaeda is a death wish, but luckily he doesn't know that so the idea is tempting. )

[Shin starts to wonder if this guy is cursed when he spots the knife shaking. He buries his hand in his scarf rather than try to catch it, because he's learnt that much. Then he gets distracted, because oh no.]

I don't think locker mushrooms would taste good, Komaeda.

[Yes he heard about those. How do you even manage that? If anyone can it's Komaeda. Please do not soup them. He has no idea about Rokkun's tree.]

I'll check the fridge.

[The meat is off limits, but maybe there's something else in there... even though the soup is probably just fine on it's own. As he moves over he takes a stab at leaning and putting his hand down with the aim of pinning the knife to the table by the handle.]

Edited (tweaked a bit) 2021-07-27 22:20 (UTC)

( as shin makes his way over, komaeda watches what he does, noticing the way he messes with the knife, and he blinks curiously at him like he doesn't understand the method to his madness. he could say something like "what was the point", but that would be rhetorical, he thinks, because it feels like he should already know. rather than point it out, komaeda shakes the can in his hand to act like it's been his main concern. )

It's been tedious to find a use for them, but if you'd rather pass... that's understandable.

( they're edible, shin just has to stop rejecting already made food when komaeda himself shouldn't make food — well, he's going to go do it now as he walks to the drawers, opening a few so he can find a can-opener to use. once he finds one, he looks around for a pot so he can pour the substance inside — a pinkish-brown color, thick with different vegetables and meat stored inside. )

Would you want omurice on the side... If you see eggs inside, that's a good start.

( last time he made rice, it was made with maggots, but maybe komaeda will be luckier this time around? )

[Heeeeeee's just going to slide that knife into his jacket pocket, don't mind him. Will this cause continuity issues later? Honestly it's entirely in keeping for him to ask for someone else to lend him theirs when he already has one.]

I can't really handle them much anyway... maybe you could fry them?

[If Komaeda wants to eat his own locker mushrooms Shin isn't going to stop him. That's on him. Shin is blissfully unaware of the maggot rice and therefore exactly just how much danger he's in. He lifts his head over the fridge door.]

Is there a rice cooker? [The words of a man who has had to put a smoking pot of charcoal rice in the sink at least once. He steps back and kicks the fridge door shut with his hands full of egg carton. Somehow this is happening. He squints at the packaging. They looked like normal eggs...] These look like they're in date at least...

I think I used a pot with Rokkun last time... I can't remember, but it doesn't matter as long as it's edible, right...?

( he questions, grabbing another pot, and a singular pan for them to use and sets it on top of the stove beside the one that has the chowder inside. walking to the sink, he turns on the faucet as clear water (to him, but probably pinkish in shin's eyes) pours out, and he grabs a cup to fill it to the rim so that he can bring it back to the pot to pour inside. the water simmers a little, bubbling on the surface to show that the heat is doing its job. )

...Three will be enough.

( he thinks, reaching out to pick out one, two, and then three into his hand as he sets it down on the counter in front of him. )

Tsukimi-kun, are you a third year, or a second year?

( first year is out of the question when komaeda asks, and he just doubts the other would even be in the same year as him. god isn't that cruel, but it does make him curious all the same. )

Yeah, exactly. [He's had that thought before (often preceding regret but shhh). The slightly pinkish water wigs him out, but Komaeda is just casually using it... if it's for something he's also going to eat then it's... probably not outright poison, right? Right?? Maybe he should avoid eating the omurice just to be safe.]

Aha, I'm a third year, apparently. [He places the carton back in the fridge and does the awkward slouching around of someone with nothing to do in a kitchen where someone is cooking for a bit before hopping up on one of the benches to sit crosslegged on the edge of it.] What about you?

( you know how dementia works, he hears one thing, ignores it, moves onto something else when shin asks him what year he is. there's no reason to talk about komaeda, actually, nothing important behind his efforts, or his reasons, just walking around avoiding people, things like that. )

That means you're closer to graduation...

( he thinks of rokkun who is also... a third year... who also almost didn't make it. despite it being a sad memory, komaeda doesn't let any remorse slip into his voice. instead, he plays natural as he starts setting up what needs to be cooked — he starts cracking the eggs into a bowl as he looks towards the other. )

I wonder if you'll make it.

( he cracks one egg, perfect drop into the bowl. he cracks a second egg, perfect into the bowl. the third one he cracks drops a little harder, but that's because it's a different egg, but that doesn't stop komaeda from whisking it all together... )

[Well that's ominous... and of course that turned out to be important. Small talk is never small talk with people like this. If he's really doing this he can't afford to just forget basic things like that. There was a net loss of information here.]

Huh? Why wouldn't I, Komaeda-san?

[0% survival chance... the Damocles sword of it still looms at the back of Shin's mind. But he's got no reason to let slip that little secret, his tone having more of a 'are my grades that bad?' lilt.
He's died four times already as it is, three symbolically and one actually. Maybe his fate is clear.

...okay, definitely avoiding the omurice if possible.]

( will he make it, everyone knows that graduation is everything, and then again some others see graduation as nothing. him and rika has noticed how rokkun acts about it, he's obsessed with the idea of finally leaving this school, and forgetting everything along with it. no other third year has acted that way, well, none that he really talks to — it's probably only him in the end. )

I wonder...

( yep, he seems to not want to give much himself, but after enough whisking, he'll look at shin. )

I need a strainer so that the texture comes out properly.

( shin has no choice, he's going to eat this, komaeda went out his way. )

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