give your friends a surprise

[closewithnewintown]

Who: EVERYONE
What: FAMILY MEETING
When: 8/4, right after school closes.
Where: Student council room
Warnings: Eventually, probably.

["If my friends back home were acting like this, I would've already locked them in a room and forced them to figure out their feelings."

the job puts all of her considerable superspy skills to the test. she knows where every normal kid's locker is; it's easy enough to slip the note into each that morning. if it's someone who she knows would be unable to read the note, she tells them its contents, but keeps her own involvement out of it. lies of omission don't count.

the note reads:]

I have very important information about this place. Please come to the student council room after school ends today.

- Nao Sato

[and if the text looks just a bit girlier than you'd think she'd write, hey, you don't know her. she's got layers.

either way, it's a pretty interesting proposition: the student council room door is, for the first time in seemingly ever, wide open. anyone can walk inside - and, hopefully, most everyone should. because it's only when Stephanie thinks that she's got enough of them inside that she actually enters the room, shutting the door behind her.

click.

it locks. she grins, spins the key on her finger, and slips it into her pocket.

"How are you supposed to do that with grownups?"

the exact same way, she's decided.]

We haven't had any meetings since, um. Well. The last one. But, I'm pretty sure nobody has no more murders to report, so it shouldn't be too bad, and we can all just focus on the most important task: Getting along! All of us are on the same team, but most of us barely even know each other; some of us even hate some of the others! [SHE SAYS, LIKE SHE DOESN'T ACTIVELY DESPISE KOKICHI] So, I figured we could spend the evening fixing that problem. Play some games, talk about stuff we've discovered since the last time...

And, maybe, if everybody does a really good job, I'll unlock the door!

[smiles]

Comments

[mermaidcursed]

You can be so cruel in your honesty... it can chase people away, you know. What if they weren't what you thought, and then because of the way you were, they don't want to give you another chance? ( ... wow, she didn't mean to be so honest about what happened with them. ) And- I just... don't like hurting people in general. Words can do damage too- you know that, don't you?

( or... maybe he doesn't. maybe he can't. )

... He's kind enough. And I trust that he's honest with those who talk to him... but. He's still part of this, you know? A nice jailor is still a jailor.

( of course komadea knows- but then. isn't that a little funny? they first met when komaeda asked her for help with his arm, and she found him senku. now they're still on some level... connected. )

I will.

[commences]

Cruel honesty or sweet lies... depending on the person, one works better than the other.

( he smiles, but he does listen, and it's not like he hasn't heard that before — well, said differently. hinata had claimed that depending on what's said, it's enough to motivate someone to live, to keep them going so that they don't give up. with what nene says, that komaeda's way of talking drives people away, but... he hums in thought. )

The things I say aren't meant to hurt anyone, that's never my intention. Hm... they take it pretty personally, but if it hurts them... that means it's something they have to grow out of, then it'll no longer be painful! ( clapping his hands together like he's right, slowly, he locks eyes with nene as he clears his throat, leaving no room for hesitation as he continues. ) I'll take upon our sins, and our burdens, the hatred; anything directed towards me to see you all trample despair.

( he leans back, blinking slightly about their jailor, and he thinks about it. )

You must speak with him often... ( he's trying to remember the name, wait... wait... ) Kazuaki-kun. ( wrong hatoful, komaeda.

in the end, hearing that she'll visit senku for her cans seems more than enough. in a way, he thinks he's helping even though he shouldn't. )

[mermaidcursed]

No one's asked you to do that. I don't think anyone even wants you to.

( it's an act of self-martyrdom that hurts everyone else around him in the backlash. and he'll take all arguments against it as good things too, all in the name of his hope.

... she doesn't want to have this conversation. but she just sighs and shrugs. )

No, he prefers Kazuki. And sometimes. But I do watch what he's doing a lot... after all, I'm the president of the gardening club! ( said with a smile! ) I should know how a professional tends to their own garden, right?

[commences]

Are you sure about that... ( that no one has asked him? then again, saying something like that is probably a few red flags, but he shakes his head. ) I'll listen to what everyone has to say, however.

( progress? it's important to understand the problem his peers are having, even if he's one of the sources, besides... they could kill him if he gets too out of order. )

Oh, you watch him? ( amami told him a little on how to speak with kazuki, but komaeda's never gone that far to do so — well, considering he's been outside a few times already. ) He must keep himself busy, gardening is a pretty fun activity. ( he tends to everyone in this room like his plant, and snips the dead leaves when it's doing nothing to support them, or to help the group grow wonderfully. )

I like cleaning more, and that means you can see how much was put into making the plants grow... ( probably makes no sense, but basic conversation... sol? he doesn't know it. he just knows he likes to clean. )

[mermaidcursed]

( yeah it sure does raise some red flags, who hurt you? other than the universe, which cannot decide if it loves or hates komaeda at any given moment. have you ever seen a man with a more toxic relationship with existence itself?

but... if he's willing to listen. to truly, actually listen... maybe they can get through to him. )

He'll spend hours to tend to the courtyard, and spends the rest of the night resting by the tree. In the morning, he vanishes. ( why yes she does have a lot of sleepless nights, why do you ask? ) ...But it is, yes. I work with a big plot back home, we raise vegetables. But I don't think we'll be able to do that here.

( oh, but he... already knew that, huh? ... how? though she's almost distracted just to hear about something he likes that isn't related to anything else! )

Oh, I didn't know that. It can be pretty relaxing huh? Cleaning, I mean.

[commences]

It almost sounds like your schedule is likened to his... he's not possessing you is he?

( let's be straight about this, the gardener isn't human, just like a few other people here — there's a lot of magical things happening in this school, some they don't understand, and that's a set they'll have to learn. sometimes being toxic with your existence allows you to understand things better as long as it isn't yourself. )

The dirt isn't safe... or well, we'll figure out why sooner or later. ( who is the "we'll", either way, komaeda does feel a little sick, but nothing too troublesome, or so he thinks. aside from that, he does know that the only tools she's good at is gardening, which... he'll mention, once again. )

Ahaha... your knowledge in tools has certainly become quite vast. You have grown from the first time I've met you. ( hmmmmm... ) Yeah... it helps get my mind off things, and the only hobby I can do well... other than that, I'm just a failure.

( but he's smiling, so that's fine. )

[mermaidcursed]

No. ... Even if he was capable of such a thing, Hanako-kun would annihilate him immediately.

( she knows!!! she knows. even if hanako-kun himself has done that to her, he'd destroy anything that tried it in a heartbeat. even if kazuki-san never had the opportunity...

nene listens quietly though, because sometimes... sometimes that's really all you can do when komaeda is doing komaeda things again. at least he's just talking. though... she can't help but frown a bit. 'we'? the dirt...? was he experimenting or something? the frown only deepens a bit at the mention of tools. with him, it was hard to tell if he meant actual tools... or people. )

... I'm sure you can do other things. But it's nice to have something to do. Ishimaru-kun was very excited about the idea of a chore chart the other month.

[commences]

Hanako-kun really likes his knife, doesn't he?

( at the mention of the chore chart, he hums in thought trying to remember if he saw it, but if he remembers correctly, that was the meeting where both him and natsume were exposed, and everything else went into the void world. )

Ah, I remember! There was a rift between everyone, and I hated that, I liked it better when you all worked together to learn who the murderer was. Then, you were all brave, but then, everyone started to lack faith, pit against one another, and then an Ultimate was wounded. How despairing.

( it's nothing he'll linger on, because it's easy for him to drift from one topic to another, which happens to be the chart nene spoke about. )

So there was no way for me to notice that chart, maybe there'll be one next time. Then again, if I have to dirty my hands, I'll make sure to clean just as good as last time.

( he seems pretty pleased with himself, but with his hands settling into the seat of his lap. ) I'll make sure you all grow from that too, because if everyone's hope wavers... you're all good as dead. I'd rather not see that.

[mermaidcursed]

( he sure does like his knife, but then- then komaeda says that. and her hands curl up into tight fists, her nails dig into her palm and she doesn't know if this pit in her stomach is heartache or fury. )

It would have bridged itself naturally. People only reacted like that because they were hurt by you and Sakasaki-senpai's actions- what growth happens is in spite of what happened, not because of it. A foundation built on suffering is only going to lead to more suffering.

( nene's voice is soft but unwavering, even if she's not looking at him- she can't look at him, actually, because if she does she has to see that patronizing smile again and she's sick of it. )

[commences]

Now, now. You can bridge the gap as long as you're capable.

( suffering is only met with suffering because they allow it, and things like feelings are easily ignored. no, not ignored, komaeda just feels like anyone can get through unfortunate events because he has himself, but he's lucky. not everyone has it like he does.

he notices the way her fingers dig into her hand, and he hums after. )

Ah, spite is something. My counselor — ( spite drives, and hope pulls is what he mentioned to komaeda. ) Said the same, ahaha! Things are falling together nicely. How interesting...

( he's thinking on her words, his words, everyone else's response. )

[mermaidcursed]

You're the one who decided we weren't before we even had the chance.

( she really is sick of boys deciding they know best for her and doing terrible things as a result- but at least hanako understood, when she told him. )

... You hurt a lot of people, you know. ( it's hard not to think about aiko okane, desperately begging for more time. but... she can't voice it to him. not yet. ) Just because they'll recover doesn't make it okay.

[commences]

Yep, at the start, I wanted to do everything I could to see the hope you all have. I don't regret my actions, Yashiro-san.

( because if he regrets them now, then everything he's done would lose meaning, the lives he taken would just be "mistakes," but no... he wants them to be something more. )

It's funny, people are hurt when they don't even know who I am... yes, you were all kind to me at the start. Even said things I've never heard before... ( even now, it's still so weird to him. ) but I couldn't change my thoughts because of your kindness, I'd take the brunt of everyone's hate to strengthen their light, even if it blinds me.

( he sighs, and here he is, taking it as it comes. in a way, the pool of people he can talk to is small, but he bothers everyone anyway so he doesn't notice it. what he does notice! )

I like your brooch, do you like skulls too?

i swear she was already going to say that before ur narration--

[mermaidcursed]

Why? Because you don't know how? Or because it makes everything you've done meaningless?

( or both?

but she just gives him a steady, impassive look. she's tired. she doesn't want to be having this conversation. she doesn't want to be locked in a room with all these people- she'd never stormed out of a meeting, but at least she had the option to. )

You decided we were weak without knowing who we were too. You never once gave anyone a chance. Do you really care? Or do you just say that to justify what you do?

...

( sigh. )

Only if they're not real. ( THE FACT THAT SHE FEELS THE NEED TO SPECIFY, WITH HIM- ) I've had this for two years now- it's important to me. My friend gave it to me because I like a lot of horror stuff.

IM LITERALLY CRYINGGGG *komaeda reading nenes vibes immediately*

[commences]

Is it meaningless when there's been so much that happened thanks to it?

( killing aiko opened so many doors for them to enter, giving way to ishimaru's newfound position, allowing dorms, and other little bits that made his action worth it. people may have lost friendship because of the killing, but that doesn't mean that her place a stepping stone was for not. now, komaeda doesn't care for half of that though, he's more about the product made from how they went in stride, the friendships that thickened, and how some of them lost their fear. )

...I don't do meaningless things, I do them for a reason, and hm... I decided it from how long I watched over you all, no one was... being productive. It's fine, look at you all, working hard because of it, it's fine... ah, I understand if you want me to be wrong, but I go to counseling now!

( as if that makes things better, but isn't that what everyone wants him to get? some help? )

I'm sorry, Yashiro-san. I can't say, I can't answer that question at all. But there's an answer, if that gives you some solace.

( ... )

I like them too. ( he's pulling at the skull chain that's attached to his jeans, showing it off so she can see. ) You have good taste, I've had this one for awhile, but nothing as meaningful as a friend handing it over. What sort of horror things, like movies...? Halloween?

THEM READING EACH OTHER LIKE FUCKING BOOKS IM. FAMILY (MIXED FEELINGS)!!!!!

[mermaidcursed]

Is the progress we've made really thanks to what's happened? Can you tell me for certain that we would have stagnated without it? ... No, you can't. You don't have that sort of power or sight. But I fully believe that even if it might have been a bit slower, we would have made those strides anyways, even without what you've done.

( this may be the most resolute he's heard her... and boy she hates it. she doesn't want him to Perceive her, thank you. ... but this stopped being about what she wants a long time ago, didn't it? )

... Thank you for humoring me at least.

( and it's said stiffly, but not coldly- even now she can't bring herself to be cold to him, even if she'll avoid him like the plague. but it's also a quiet 'this is over'. if he tries to bring it up more, she won't go along with it. she's said her piece, he can... throw it out the window or whatever he does now. she doesn't want to know. )

... I'm not good with horror movies, but some of them are fun- I like animated horror, or manga and games... I really like ghost stories, too. ( most horror movies are live-action- even if she knows it's fake, it doesn't look like it and that gets to her. also remember that time nene made a bloodborne reference? yeah she's played bloodborne. ) ... The brooch can also be used as a hair pin. It's helpful, when I'm cooking or gardening.

( it's very cute! but also girl you have the magatama pins too how many do you need just braid your hair- )

I KNOW I HATE IT HATE SHE SAID DID U KNOW THE FUTURE N I GASPED BC SHE KNEW HELP!!!

[commences]

You're right. ( he does say that, but it's never like he looked into it to begin with. ) I don't know what the future holds, because I know in the end that no matter what, good will come from it. That's why I'm not afraid of the consequences.

( that's why he can do what he can without thinking of the negative possibilities? is that unfair? or is he allowed to be hopeful, who knows, but to him, he feels like everything has gone... fine. they're doing what they can, they're learning from the experience, they know they have to think about everything moving forward. being thanked for something like that makes him wonder what did he humor? he hums in thought, crossing his arms in his lap, and he looks up as she continues. )

I never thought this would be my life, living in a haunted school... I always thought movies like those wouldn't actually happen to me, but knowing my luck... We have ghosts, and demons trying to eat us...

( but this isn't about the school, this is about the genre. )

Horror is pretty good... that way people stay together and count on one another. Nanami-san showed me various games, I think you would have liked them... hm... I think you'd like them if you had a group with you to watch along, what do you think?

( nooo, do they tend to have that many uses? now i learned something... ) Thank you for telling me that, I never knew you struggled so much with your hair.

SHE'S TURNING THE NENE BEAMS (READING YOU FOR FILTH) ON HIM!!!! AAAAAA she always has tho

[mermaidcursed]

( she almost admits it's not her first time with a haunted school- kamome is suuuuper haunted. but even though hanako straight up admitted from the start that she summoned him to yogen, she's so reluctant to acknowledge that with komaeda. )

The thing about the 'this happens to other people' mindset is that we're all 'other people' to everyone else...

Oh, um. I normally watch or play them by myself. Aoi-chan doesn't like scary things. ( akane and lemon are more aoi's friends than hers- when things happen and it's by her invitation, things patter out unless aoi is there. and her parents- they were rarely home, and when they were they didn't want to stress themselves out with scary things. ) I've never had people I could do that sort of thing with.

--Nno? You were interested in the brooch- I was giving you more information. ( WHY DO YOU GOTTA TAKE EVERTHING SO BADLY KOMADEA-SAN??? but no i think this is special to nene's skull, isn't that so cute? ) You sound so passive-aggressive, honestly...

[closewithnewintown]

[she huffs a little laugh when she hears her words, because christ, at least now she knows for sure that it's not just her who can't get him to see basic reason.]

He'll never get it. I don't know why, but he never will.

[mermaidcursed]

... I can't bring myself to give up.

( not yet. )

[closewithnewintown]

He has worms in his brain. Even Sportacus couldn't fix him. [and the causal way she says this really belies the semi-crisis of faith she had over it.]

[mermaidcursed]

It isn't about fixing, it's about helping.

[closewithnewintown]

[... well y'know steph has declared this The Honesty Room and thus it's time for diary thoughts to become real thoughts.]

There's no other way of helping him. So, you can only help with whatever happens after. [pick up the pieces. clean his messes.]

[mermaidcursed]

... Sometimes, yes. But- not everything can be 'fixed'- especially people. We're messy, complicated things. Not everyone will see or learn the same way.

( even if komaeda is without remorse- can he be taught? she doesn't know. but she can try, until trying does her no good, can't she? and once again, nene draws stephanie into a hug, petting her hair and resting her chin on the younger girl's head. it's a gentle scolding, but... )

I know he's done a lot- and he's hurt people. So... if you don't want to be involved, you don't have to be. No one will blame you. But don't tell me I should give up.

[closewithnewintown]

They shouldn't be. I don't like messy things. [she allows herself to be a chin rest, merely shrugging her shoulders lightly.] This is all just... hard. Harder.

[than he always made it look.]

I've mostly given up on him being a better person. [it's like stingy, honestly.] I'm never gonna give up on being his friend. [ditto]

[mermaidcursed]

( it seems like some of this... would be better as a private conversation. so. hm. she'll have to shelf some of this for now- )

Lots of people don't- but...we are. It's the sum of our parts- its up to us and the people we learn from to make that mess into something good, though. It's that mess that makes us human. So... even if it can be difficult to deal with, don't write people off just for being messy, okay? Everyone has their moments.

( even stephanie, considering tonight. but... she's not gonna say that right now. )