give your friends a surprise

[closewithnewintown]

Who: EVERYONE
What: FAMILY MEETING
When: 8/4, right after school closes.
Where: Student council room
Warnings: Eventually, probably.

["If my friends back home were acting like this, I would've already locked them in a room and forced them to figure out their feelings."

the job puts all of her considerable superspy skills to the test. she knows where every normal kid's locker is; it's easy enough to slip the note into each that morning. if it's someone who she knows would be unable to read the note, she tells them its contents, but keeps her own involvement out of it. lies of omission don't count.

the note reads:]

I have very important information about this place. Please come to the student council room after school ends today.

- Nao Sato

[and if the text looks just a bit girlier than you'd think she'd write, hey, you don't know her. she's got layers.

either way, it's a pretty interesting proposition: the student council room door is, for the first time in seemingly ever, wide open. anyone can walk inside - and, hopefully, most everyone should. because it's only when Stephanie thinks that she's got enough of them inside that she actually enters the room, shutting the door behind her.

click.

it locks. she grins, spins the key on her finger, and slips it into her pocket.

"How are you supposed to do that with grownups?"

the exact same way, she's decided.]

We haven't had any meetings since, um. Well. The last one. But, I'm pretty sure nobody has no more murders to report, so it shouldn't be too bad, and we can all just focus on the most important task: Getting along! All of us are on the same team, but most of us barely even know each other; some of us even hate some of the others! [SHE SAYS, LIKE SHE DOESN'T ACTIVELY DESPISE KOKICHI] So, I figured we could spend the evening fixing that problem. Play some games, talk about stuff we've discovered since the last time...

And, maybe, if everybody does a really good job, I'll unlock the door!

[smiles]

Comments

[commences]

Ebalon-kun, what's happening to you?

( this isn't like him at all, not having a grasp on what's right and wrong to him, not understanding that every action was for a reason. that what he chose to do was to make him stronger, he was to take his encounters, and turn them into something that would take him to the future. as of now, he seems to have slowed down, his actions crippled by his own poor judgement, and komaeda is shocked by it. this doesn't last though, his concern changes to acceptance, and then it follows into a frown like he's disappointed. )

I shouldn't say that... no... things can change, but that's with the use of your hope, and to collide it against others to help them fight back. That's how you intervene, hope is the only thing that can change a person.

( it'd worry him more if noah's own hope had changed to something so... hopeless, so despairing that komaeda's stomach turns at the thought. ) You can't do that if you give up... giving up would mean you're better off dead... a weak, and frail hope serves no purpose here.

( his gaze is a little sharper, but he doesn't stare at noah, no, he looks around the room they're locked in. ) You're not weak, I can see that you're tired... and that you want to rest, but even if you sleep, things that happened won't change, you can only face the future... together with everyone else, that's what I was taught.

( don't tell hinata, jk, he won't remember. )

[silentabyss]

[Noah should hate Komaeda. He knows he should, because Komaeda has killed and probably will kill again, and Komaeda's psychotic and he doesn't understand that not everything is about hope, and he should hate people who hurt others without need and he knows that, but... there's something comforting, somewhat, about hearing the words "You're not weak" coming from a man who can pick apart weaknesses as easily as one would swat a fly.

Noah sighs, eyes drifting over to Komaeda's gaze, the one that isn't on him.]

You think so, huh? [To the "you're not weak" comment; he's not entirely sure what to say to the rest.] ...A while ago, [he murmurs this quietly,] I chose to live when my only other option was to die here. Do you remember Hyde? He attacked me, and... I feel... guilty, that I had to kill him, but I thought to myself in that moment that I'd rather live.

[Why, why oh why, is it so easy to confess a heinous crime to Komaeda? Is it because Noah knows that somewhere deep down, Komaeda is morally bereft? Because Komaeda won't pass judgement onto him for a kill? Perhaps it is.]

There are people I'm living for, so I can't die as long as they're alive... facing the future still sounds scary, though.

[commences]

I always believed nothing good came from serial killers.

( he's been proven wrong, or maybe he's right. he dislikes the way noah dismisses himself because of his actions, how his mentality is basically shot. damaged beyond repair, this sort of weakness visible to others as he cuts himself off. komaeda has felt half of this before, how he stays away from others others protect them, that it's all he can do... but there's another view of this story that's not being seen by noah.

komaeda sees it because his vision has two sides. )

He was weak, but he was strong enough to become a step ladder, ascending you to great heights... In a way, that was meant to be your strength, and now you feel guilty...

( that shouldn't be the case, he should thrive from that death, it should help him realize that his hope is stronger than others. especially hyde's, which komaeda can say easily because once people die, he discards them without a second thought. )

Don't allow yourself to be swallowed up into thinking what you did was wrong, for Hyde who killed mercilessly, that sort of despair was vanquished by you... ( he breathes in slow, his voice low ) you did us a favor, and even yourself... because you'll utilize his death as a threshold to step, and walk over. There's more for you now, various opportunities due to your actions... don't allow him to tarnish your hope, the one you use to benefit others.

( he laughs, his own hand brushing against his tally marks; it has been awhile. )

He's dead... so why would you let him win?

there it goes again: my psychoanalysis

[silentabyss]

...

[Komaeda's not right, he's not right he's not right he can't be right because it would be fucked up if he was right, Noah killed someone, it's not fair, it wasn't okay—]

...Yeah, Hyde... did kill without remorse, didn't he. That was always his thing. I'm glad no one else will die by his hand.

[And for a moment, Noah can't believe the words out of his mouth; how could he go along with what Komaeda tells him? But it's true, in many ways, Noah killed to save himself and in doing so eliminated a threat that was plaguing the rest of the school. It's for the greater good, isn't it? So maybe he can find it in him to forgive himself a little bit, somewhere along the lines. He'll probably live with the guilt for a long time — he'd prefer someone like Hyde to have been locked up, because it wasn't Noah's justice to dish out — but...

...he did just save a bunch of people from a psycho murderer, right?

So why, why oh why, is he talking to another such person so earnestly? What makes Komaeda different from Hyde? The fact that Komaeda doesn't pursue others like a psychopath? The fact that Komaeda thinks his kills have reason? He shouldn't listen to someone like that, and yet somehow he feels the tiniest bit better.

Noah's stomach churns. He feels sick too, but at the same time, he did something good — didn't he? Good and bad in equal parts. Saving many lives at the cost of one.]

I-I mean... [Where has his moral compass gone?] I think those who murder like Hyde did, "serial killers" like you said, and those who kill for no reason... [at least kill for revenge or for someone you love, right? as long as it has a purpose,] ...I think they're heinous people.

[But it wasn't fair to Jekyll, Noah supposes, the personality that didn't kill indiscriminately... and at the end of the day, he still killed. But... it wasn't without purpose, was it? He can live with that much at least.

21 tallies on his wrist. 19 of which he doesn't remember. 2 of which are because of the two lives he stole away, one which deserved it and one which was collateral. Perhaps the collateral is what he's hung up on in the end.]

thinking about how i ate that UP MY FOOD!!! YAAAS KING GO OFF

[commences]

As you think of those that could have died, what about those who have by his actions, by his negligence for the human life —

( those that suffered, those who may still be suffering, how komaeda watches rika snatched away, and when he saw her again... a gash along her neck. how much torture did he put her through just for his whimsical means, what was that meant to do for a child her age? a proper stepping stone, something used for people to overcome was his role, and who utilized that death properly for their own gain.

his eyes look towards noah. )

How many lives have you answered the plea of that are no longer here, those that died without fulfilling anything... you don't know, because it was such common practice to him that their needs have finally been requited.

( could the same be said of aiko, no, komaeda made sure she had a use, that she pushed the group whether they liked it or not. he orchestrated it not for his own joy, not for a selfish reason, but for them, for the group, for even noah who wanted to protect every person in his path. he's tired of losing, especially those close to him, and who knows when hyde would have struck someone very personal to noah — it was just a matter of time, for someone who enjoys bloodshed, the pain and suffering of another person... it's disgusting, despairing. )

When it comes to hope, there's always a reason...

( there's never not been a reason, he can't imagine doing something and grabbing at straws, trying to create an excuse that everyone will take. it's best to be honest, and komaeda doesn't fault noah for his actions at all... he might have fell for the moment, down on his knees, slowly crumbling... it won't last that long. this too, is a resolve that noah has to carry himself through, and komaeda will be there to oversee... he always has, even if he might've disappeared for a moment — there wasn't a day where noah ebalon did not cross his mind. he's sensitive to his surroundings, but he made a change, he created the world around them by his own hands, now it's meant for him to mold it... that's the sort of power that the other has with the use of his hope. )

You protected the dreams of others here, given them a chance that would have been sniped without a second thought if he stayed alive... if he killed you, if your hope diminished, Ebalon-kun... he'd have walked around here, and this school would have been splattered red. No remorse, not a care in the world... but he was weak, and your hope shown brighter than his.

[silentabyss]

...killing without motivation — a real motivation, like saving people — isn't right.

[Boom, crash, the sound of Noah's moral structure crumbling under the weight of Komaeda's logic. He was so charmingly tunnel-vision before this, too, months ago in front of Aiko's doll-like figure in that glass case; how it was His Morals or bust, how killing was always wrong. And now he's sitting here realising that he's hypocritical to think so, for how could a boy who wants to kill in his brother's name claim moral superiority?

He's considering, too, that what he did — at the cost of Jekyll, who he'll never quite be over, because killing innocents will always be wrong — might have been correct. Excluding himself from that, naturally, because wanting to live is a natural human response; the act of defending himself doesn't need to be blown out of proportion. Looking at the bigger picture, though... Komaeda's right.

In a way, Noah took revenge for the lives that Hyde ended. He's always been the sort to want to take revenge for others, so how is this different? It isn't, not really.]

Hyde was a strong opponent. He would've killed everyone here if he could have. Including you, probably. ...I don't see a point in hurting people like he did. We wouldn't be able to escape the school if he was alive.

[Even if he's not saying it, Noah figures Komaeda's smart enough to read between the lines: He did the right thing in the end.]

[commences]

( as noah speaks, as he realizes, and he comes to an understanding — the world is filled with weak people, and only those with a hope that can transcend through their pain and suffering can be their hope. while it is difficult for so to have lost someone who have been important to them, komaeda digresses, loss makes people grow, using one's own talents to lead the group towards a hope that could have been taken from them at any moment allows them to grow. it's true, as flighty as hyde's opinions were, komaeda was well aware that, noah should have been as well. )

Hope is a very important aspect that needs to be protected, and in Hyde-kun's eyes... what did he see when he looked at everyone?

( he pauses, giving noah time to really think about it. if hyde said one thing, something else became of them — he was a danger to himself and to others. funny, people can think of komaeda the same way, but at the end of the day, mindless slaughter isn't how he functions. )

Weak individuals, each and every one, hope whose flames could be easily diminished, and you saved so many from going out. As you know... among this group, there's a few whose light is likened to a candle... if they all died, you'd be left alone in the darkness... Ebalon-kun... you can't follow your own light, others have to find yours.

( some who hate hope would say that noah's lost, but he hasn't lost to despair which is what matters to komaeda as he leans against the young boy. he hums a bit, going as close to link their arms together. )

If you continue to wallow in despair over your actions... did you truly save anyone? ( he tilts his head, a small frown as he waits for his reply. )

[silentabyss]

[He allows the arm-linking, responding to it with a tilt of his head. It's clear by his gaze that he's been mulling over Komaeda's words the entire time, even if he's been quiet; that's just Noah for you. It's only at the last question that he decides to answer, voice soft but determined.]

...no, probably not. I'd drag them down with my guilt over the situation, and we wouldn't be getting anywhere. I guess I need to recover too, but... I don't regret what I did.

[He stares down at the tallies on his wrist for a second, twenty-one of them, and sighs to himself. How many kills did he make during his time spent here that he can't recall? How many times would he and Komaeda have had this conversation, exactly?

If it came to protecting people he loves here, he'd kill. He's made that clear in the past, so really, Hyde wasn't that different. He can't keep dwelling on this; it's time to move on, isn't it? If someone else "wakes up" here in the future and starts killing indiscriminately, or comes after the people Noah cares for the most, he'll have to do something about it. Honestly, why did he spend so much time sitting there crying about a man who didn't deserve that much?]

...a lot of people here can't fight. It's up to me to protect them from people like Hyde, so... if that means another death, that's just how it'll have to be. It sucks, but...

[Kill or be killed, right?]

I don't want to hurt people, but I'll do it to protect others.

[commences]

Mmm, they can't fight... but there's a certain amount of hope they have, yours just happen to be stronger than theirs.

( which puts noah at the top of the pillar, most of them settled under the umbrella of his strength, of his... talent, and komaeda-arata watches with interest. he's always thought about hope, and about talent as well, but here he is combining the two for someone like noah. he can feel it coming off in waves around him, how much hope is enjoyably suffocating, and komaeda-arata leans against the youth even more like a smitten dog with their owner — though, he'd say noah's the smitten puppy, actually, with how in tune they are with komaeda-arata's logic. )

Don't let anyone change your way of thinking, a few losses are needed to protect the hope of the people around here — even if they don't deserve it. The weak most of all... they could be let go, they could drag you down just because they don't see eye to eye with you, but... in the end, they're only here because of you... so don't allow their judgement to tear down the foundation you've built, that we've built, if you die... Ebalon-kun... I'd be disappointed.

( there's a frown visible on komaeda-arata's face at the notion of the other dying, not too interested in a end like that, but he continues: )

If you want to protect the people you care for, you have to keep your hope strong... no matter what happens. I'll be with you as much as I can, but if you allow despair to swallow you whole... you're failing everything I'm teaching you right now, hope is pure... a warm and gentle feeling... and that's the only light people want around them... anything darker... and your life will go pitch black...

( his addendum: )

Killing people for hope is fine, your hope, someone else's hope... don't lose something so important.