yogen | MISSION 2.C

[carefully, step by step, since right now the boy needs the potential stability more than she needs all of her perception. the water will keep her oriented in the right direction, the one that Hinata's footsteps echo away down. they may be doing the utterly wrong thing, and she expects the boy to drop at any moment. but they're carrying on, and Helena's other hand is free if someone needs to hold it to stay grouped up.]

Just tell us if you need to rest.

[the words are more meant to reassure him with an attentive presence as opposed to needing to be answered. the stubbornness will at least get them part of the way. however cold and tired the group is, however much they might ache, it's nothing compared to the agonies that this stranger must feel. but he's trying. he's still got one last thing to do, even in this state. they owe it, then, to keep moving.]

( two hours of sleep did what for me. harsh words can be motivating, and komaeda talks this way because he knows him enough. then again, who is he to place a narrative where he's involved on anyone, and he thinks about it. )

...

( he doesn't know what natsume did, but it's doing something to help him further his want to live. he can't do much for the other, now can he, it seems every time they come into contact komaeda has caused him immediate pain. it makes him hang back, distance between him and the group as he hears hinata say he'll go up first, and everyone remains here.

komaeda places his working hand against his stomach, sighing as he looks towards natsume first and walks up, his voice low so no one else can hear. )

...Thank you, Sakasaki-kun.

( they're probably delaying the inevitable, but rokkun is so many different kinds of stupid that it keeps him moving. each and every person will recieve the same piece, he'll save majority for later, but who is he kidding, helena probably hears him anyway. let the words he needs to say get adjusted on on his lips first, one at a time. there's all sorts of hope, especially the one that helps a person move forward, that's why it's best to be together, remain in a group.

he's like a little flame, for however long, his will hasn't burnt out yet, and that's good. he glances towards the jacket wrapped around him, and he takes a few steps closer — if he's going through this, it shouldn't hurt being a little closer to him, does it?

komaeda picks his memory, thinking he should ask. )

There should be someone waiting, right?

( well, he isn't sure that it helped, but it at least seems to have perked someone's spirits up, and it's exciting to make the stars dance in the palm of his hands. they don't come quickly when he calls to them, but he keeps summoning them, forming constellations from home from his memory. cancer, aquarius, leo...

he gives a side-glance to komaeda, lips pursed—a little conflicted at the gratitude, but he shrugs and looks back ahead. his voice is just as soft, though helena might be able to hear anyway, little bat she is. )

It isn't like I did it for YOU, Komaeda-san. I'm a kind person; I'm not going to sit around and let someone die if I can do something about IT.

( ...and then he'll focus on his magic again, thinking about how practice makes perfect, how it's okay if it doesn't come naturally. the small, miniature stars will keep them company if nothing else, surrounding them and flickering in and out of existence as they walk towards hinata's voice, the cabin, with rokuro's unsteady steps to guide them. )

( ... )

Ah... don't be so hard on yourself, Sakasaki-kun. You're capable of accepting things even if you don't deserve it, Kudo-san taught me that.

( remember her? the person you killed along with a few no named others and sena? so it's rich if it's about something he can handle, especially after all that he's done. komaeda won't bring it up though, smiling a little cheekily as his mood goes through one emotion, to the other.

as for everything else, he'll leave natsume alone, allow him to concentrate. he wonders if there's something wrong with thanking peoppe, sometimes you have to when certain actions does something to another's hope. this is something he likes to see!!

in the end, he has always liked rokkun's hope. )

[ "I'll rest when I'm dead," the boy does not say, maybe doesn't have the energy to say, maybe seems to be getting heavier and heavier with each step he takes.

But soon, that little cabin is within sight, almost within reach. Hinata reaches the door first, knocks on the door rewarded with the faint pitter patter of bare feet running to unlock the door.

"-—aki!"

The door swings open, and there stands a young child, no older than three, freezing on the spot and staring up at Hinata with wide, frightened eyes.

...

The door gets shut in his face. ]

( Ah, so there is someone there. That's good. The rest of the group will join Hinata soon enough, though give the boy's getting heavier Helena and Komaeda might be just a tiny bit slower... Natsume'll reach first, peering at Hinata's face with a sigh as if that's what's scared some poor kid and not the fact it was a stranger, and knocks again on the door.

He's capable of kindness when he wants to be, and he's historically good with kids; his voice is soft, stars dimly popping in and out around him as his concentration doesn't quite stick to them but moves to talking to the child just past the door. )

We're sorry for scaring YOU. You're expecting someone, RIGHT? We might've found THEM. ( His voice is gentle and coaxing, and he glances over his shoulder once before he continues. ) If it makes you feel betTER, we can talk like this inSTEAD, until your mommy or daddy can come to the DOOR, or you feel like you can trust US.

[ There's the fumbling of somebody trying to lock a sliding barrel bolt on the other side of the door but they're too short and has to jump to try and knock the lock in place.

"Daddy says don't talk to strangers!" they say, to a stranger. ]

( yeah, helena and komaeda will be slower considering the other's pace, but that doesn't matter because every step counts for something. )

Come now, we're almost there.

( as if rokkun needs komaeda saying that, but he has a cane, and he has helena's hand guiding his forward. perhaps it'll be enough, because a certain someone has to be waiting for him — with how fast they closed that door? they'd probably be grateful for a familiar face than whatever these randos have going on.

he'd call out to the other, but he hasn't spoken much, and komaeda doesn't even know if he has any right to say his name. with a sigh, he'll continue moving forward with them, and if there's any gaps, he slows down himself. )

You have someone to be there for. ( "he wouldn't be here for me." is what npc-kun said at one point, and if that's not the case then, at least now... in this place, maybe it can be a little different. if not... ) That sort of hope pulls, but as long as you have that... it's okay, don't give up. ( he holds out his hand out of habit, because it's rokkun, but then he remembers that he's holding onto enough. ) I know you aren't the type... so don't fail me.

( "how can you say that to a kid" komaeda says it to older rokkun, it's fine. )

( Of course he does... That's what good daddies tell their kids. Natsume smiles slightly, ignoring the cold biting at him and what's going on behind him. )

We won't be strangers if we introduce ourselves, will WE? My name is ( should he tell them his name? ...it should be fine, if it isn't his full ) Natsume; what's YOURS?

[ ...

There's no answer from behind the door, because good kids listen to their daddies. They can, however, hear the sound of a chair being painstakingly shoved across hardwood floor, because if they can't secure the lock then they can barricade the door like how they do it in the movies, maybe use it as a stepstool to reach the lock. Genius. No strangers are going to get inside this house, no sir.

...

There's no answer from the boy being supported by Helena and Komaeda either, not until they're down the slope and almost at the door, close enough to feel the warmth given off by the roaring fire that must be inside, large pot of soup bubbling away on the stove waiting to be dished out once everybody is home, the embrace of somebody he needs to be there for, somebody he promised he would always be there for. ]

...Kogamo... I'm home.

[ The dragging stops, replaced by the pitter patter of somebody running to the door. It never was locked. ]

[he seems heavier, if she's to guess, but it might be simply exhaustion causing him to lean more. but Helena is as stubborn as she needs to be, and if she has to, she'll put his arm around her shoulders, to offer him that more support. she doesn't mind being bloody, just as long as they make it. so close, and this cabin may be sanctuary, may be the end of it all.

little footsteps. something in her stomach drops. those are small footsteps that she can hear, and whoever's on the other side of the door will be treated to quite the sight.

Kogamo. whoever they are, they would be within their rights to be so afraid of them. to blame them for this. maybe it is all their fault.]

We made it...

[but at what cost?]

( ?

immediate thought, when the door opens for them, and the three year old comes out... if komaeda looks pretty hard, will he see any resemblance like he did with how familiar the "dead body" was to him. as for "kogamo", he isn't familiar with the name, but with the whole "names have powers," he wouldn't be surprised if there was a lie in their conversation from before.

as for fake names, looks at the back of the boy's head that they saved... )

...

( haha sucker he still got your name.

but natsume'll move to make room so kogamo can see who they've been waiting for, nudging hinata with him so they're not in the kid's direct line of sight. it's probably better that way, whatever condition the boy's in or otherwise. )

[ Do three year olds look anything like who they grow up to be? Maybe Komaeda can extrapolate from the soft mochi cheeks, or the bright, open mouthed smile the child has on their face when the door is pulled open— a smile that twists and falls immediately, face scrunching as they start to cry, half hidden behind the door and leaving the boy to come forward himself, pressing the cane back to Helena, his touch lingering on her hand for a moment before he lets himself sink to his knees.

The three-year-old throws themselves forward and latches onto the boy's torso as if to hold him together, screaming and crying in the same breath.

...The four of them get to stand there awkwardly in the snow, I guess. ]

...

( okay, normally this would be hard to digest, but since one person is hanging on as they know it, and someone else is crying... he's able to stand and watch. he looks at helena first to see if he could ask her what's on his mind, but then he opts out for natsume, but he's in some chanting montage, so he looks at hinata...

...

nah, he'll just say it. )

So... we should get going now, unless you're inviting us to dinner.

( he may have ruined the mood, but they're all covered in blood and cold. it doesn't get any worse than this. he's going to take a step closer, thinking about reaching out for his jacket to take back, but instead... he'll lightly nudge their traveling companion. )

Also... he said he was cold, and I trust you can handle that, Kogamo-kun.

[ At that slightest nudge, their traveling companion falls over in the snow, crushing the bewildered Kogamo-kun that struggles to pull themselves out from under him, slick with as much blood as when they first arrived in this world.

...

They're three. Please don't expect them to handle anything. ]

[oh god please let time and mental defense mechanisms wipe this small child's mind before they grow up too haunted by today

cane back to her, she's able to take in the full spectrum of what's around, what's happening, and she gasps when the stranger falls - the sound telling her more what happened. no time to even scold Nagito for what he did, just enough to drop to her knees again and try to help extract Kogamo from under their dying brother.

somehow, it almost might have been kinder to let him perish away from this - at least the child would have been spared.]

( the way i was gunna make a whoops raincheck joke but we take the aratas seriously. )

...

( STOP KOMAEDA DIDN'T MEAN TO be the reason for him to fall over, but it's a quick reaction to using his good arm to instantly pull the other up so he doesn't remain in the snow. his heart races, concern visible on his face as he looks at the other, and it quickly disappears as he looks towards natsume —

for magic, it sure didn't last long, but he won't point fingers yet... because his only good ones are pressed against rokkun's arm to set him up right against his chest. )

...Help me get him up!

( HE DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA JUST SHOVE HIM OVER, KOMAEDA???? like the world's softest firecrackers his stars pop out of existence, and natsume's over in a moment to help him get the boy up, woof— )

SorRY. ( to helena, for making her save a baby from their dying brother. and by extension, also to komago and their brother for... everything, actually.

up and at 'em, boyo. ) You couldn't have held onto him for ten more seCONDS, Komaeda-san?

[ me all the time

They cling to Helena when she reaches for them, arms wrapped around her torso while they stare at their brother slumped against Komaeda. Covered in blood, deathly pale, not moving when Natsume sits him up, not breathing...

But Kogamo remains silent— because there are adults here and adults will fix everything, that's their job— and they stare, because a pot of water won't boil if you're watching, and by that same logic, their brother won't die so long as they're watching, he wouldn't do that to them. ]

Shut up.

( clipped, straight to the point, and delivered towards natsume like he's fed up. if komaeda had it his way, they wouldn't be in this position, and he wouldn't have rokkun's limp body against him, holding him like he won't let go — at this point, he doesn't want to. he doesn't want to do anything else if he's constantly the one making things go wrong. it's always like that, maybe he's feeling a little hopeless. )

Blame me after, but keep your exasperating comments to yourself.

( sorry for getting upset in front of a kid and the more proper adults, but the idiots are fighting!! komaeda's not like akira, he can't just fix where the gashes are, and he can't provide blood... so between both him and natsume, they'll bring him into the house to lay him down. it feels wrong to be useless, and all he has is his luck that does nothing but endanger other people — maybe if he hadn't even came along, perhaps if he... stayed behind, let the bear maul him. perhaps the other wouldn't be in this condition.

promises probably don't hold up in this world, when the other said he wouldn't die before him, because looking at him now... )

Kogamo-kun... what's your brother's name?

( even as he reaches for rokkun's hand, he's raising it to place over his heart to see if it's beating, if there's anything left. you think he'll wake up to the sound of his sibling's voice like in the movies? well... )

( his exasperating comments? natsume opens his mouth, thinks better of it, and snaps it shut again; they have more important things right now, and he can bitch at the other later. once he's helped komaeda lay the boy down he'll move away to give the cabin a quick look over to find if there's anything they can use to wipe the blood off of kogamo, like a kitchen towel or something. may as well keep his hands busy, since this whole thing's gone to hell in a handbasket.

he'll wet it first when he finds something because you won't let me think there isn't some kind of hand towel in this house ori what would they clean spills with and... he would give it to helena to use, but she's blind, so he'll kneel by the kid instead to wipe their face off. sorry, sorry. )

...It'll be oKAY, ( he says softly, even though it probably won't be, actually.

not immediately. "time heals all wounds" is a dirty lie, but it does make those painful memories a little more dull. comforting them seems like a better course of action than asking for someone's name, but komaeda has... his own issues, if he thinks it's important to get a name then so be it. )

[Hinata has been silent - at first it was shock from scaring Kogamo, then it was a spark of surprising anger from what Komaeda said. He doesn't yet have the knowledge of how many more days he'll spend angry; for now it's just a shock to feel like that towards Komaeda at all.

But seeing Natsume speak and move spurs him into action. Is it right, to lie to them like that? Won't that make the reality to come even crueler?

...But they're so small, so young. Can't even be five years old, he thinks. What good would the truth do them when they're still learning how to process that sort of thing?

Hinata kneels down beside the pile of Helena and Natsume and child. He doesn't have any younger siblings, no real experience with children at all. But he has the memories of another life with the girl whose name he finally remembers, and perhaps that's something that he can draw from after all.

His hand stretches out - hesitates for just a moment like he might pull back. But then he finishes the movement, gently reaching out to lay a hand on their head. Slowly, carefully, he lets his fingers card through their hair. He doesn't know if unfamiliar touch would be bad for them, but he remembers how it made that precious person smile, and so Hinata will hope that it will at least not cause harm if nothing else.]

I'm sorry. I know it hurts right now. But we're here for you.

[It's the one truth that he can offer them, even if they won't be able to accept it right now.]

[they're so small, she thinks as she holds them back, as if her arms could shield them from whatever will be worse. as if she wasn't covered in a dying boy's blood, as if everything didn't hurt and in her mind she's praying that if somehow she could bear the pain for this little one, she would. it's not fair. it's not fair, and though Hinata's said what she wanted to say, she wonders if he'd still be alive if they hadn't gone down there at all. if they hadn't even come here.

she's so, so sorry, because no matter what's said, no matter the logic, something now will always feel like it's their fault. for now, she just tries to keep breathing, because if Helena opens her mouth, she's afraid she'll start crying - and this little soul needs tears, needs the air more than she does.

all they really are, in this situation, is angels of death come to ruin it all.]

[ When will Komaeda tell everybody that he knows who these people are actually and that they're fine, it all turned out okay. That the child grows up bright and cheerful, and the boy grows up ... anyways, he also grows up.

Here and now, though, they're all brought into the warmth of the cabin, a dying fire flickering in the hearth in the living room, papers and crayons messily spread out in front of it, nowhere to sit but there is a thick rug spread across the center that they can lay the boy down on. There is no heartbeat; his eyes are closed, and he looks peaceful.

On one side of the cabin are two bedrooms, one with a neatly made bed and empty desk, the other with a small cot with bunched up blankets and three pillows, coloring books and scattered marbles and an overturned bucket of Legos a tripping hazard across the floor, glow in the dark stars plasted on the ceiling, and a nightlight plugged into the wall. On the other side of the cabin is the bathroom where Natsume can find clean linens and a laundry hamper overflowing with clothes, and the tiny kitchen with four stools in a line beside the island counter in lieu of a dining table.

Kogamo remains latched onto Helena, more interested in holding onto someone than getting their face wiped clean, tears having stopped because they're distracted watching intently as Komaeda holds their brother's hand like he's going to do something about all of this, make it all better. ]

...Rokku... Rokuro...

[ offered as if the name held some sort of magic power and that's why Komaeda is asking, that hope being all they have to cling onto because they've never had so many people here for them. Even if they flinch when Hinata lays a hand on their head, eyes squeezing shut tight and bracing— but then the moment passes and they let go of Helena to reach for Hinata, both arms spread as if asking to be picked up. ]

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today i learned Roku is how you'd say "rock" and i frowned so deep