yogen | MISSION 2.C

[the rocks that cover her, that weigh her down like regret, don't feel heavy enough. she can still hear that little voice in her head, and though she doesn't know it, the red ribbon of her uniform is gone. the boy's words on the past offer only a cold, small comfort - this would always have the end result it did, even if they changed the circumstances. her hands move to push stones off, try to help herself sit up, but it's mechanical - her heart is still back in that cabin.

still, the touch of someone's hand brings her back to the present, and the voices are a reassurance. Hajime, Natsume, Nagito - they're all here. they're all alive. this is relief, and so it steadies what could be heartbreak tumbling down out of her. for now, she can stay strong, even as she grasps for her cane and relies on that hand to help her up. it's Natsume - she knows by the proximity of his voice. a murmured thank you to him as she gets back on her feet, eyes closed to keep herself from wanting to blink away tears.]

I'm glad you're all alive.

[the simplest thing to say, the most honest. hearing their voices was a measure to brace her.]

Through all of that...

I'm glad we were able to find you. [A pat to Helena's shoulder, gentle.] I'm glad both of you are okay, but...

[Questions race through his mind, too many to number. If nothing else, it's a distraction from the way his chest aches.]

What... was that? Just now, that boy... He said it was a memory, but how is that possible?

[Unfortunately, Hinata no longer remembers that he had to abandon logic when it comes to Yogen.]

( natsume smiles slightly, a little more genuine at helena's thanks, and places his hand at her elbow as he turns his face to hinata. )

If you touch a gorinTO, you can relive someone's final moMENTS.

( but that wasn't quite what they experienced. natusume glances at all the broken ones, lips pursed. )

It could be that this hallway acts the same WAY... With how many broken gorintos there are HERE, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole fourth floor acted as a game of chance for whose memories you landed IN. ( but that means one of rokuro's is here, right?

he nudges some rocks with his foot. hmmm. ) Or maybe the school has things it wants to SAY. I haven't abandoned trying to understand this PLACE, but it's much easier to simply accept things happen than to fight against THEM.

( it's at the call of his name that he finds himself looking at natsume, wordlessly requesting him not to make the same mistake again. the name doesn't sit right on his tongue, and it's more taunt than used in a manner where they're meant to be close. in the end, it's supposed to be affectionate, and he has to hope that natsume hit his head. he wants to correct him because it's getting to him, but hinata speaks up with his own inquiries, and komaeda falls silent again. no matter how uncomfortable he feels, he finds himself shuffling his hands into his pockets, the smell of blood wafting in his nose as he looks down at his shirt and jacket —

that boy, all this blood belongs to him, and part of komaeda wants to correct and say his name.

those children, some of what they went through... familiar because he's been told it all before. )

The question would have to be where did the memory begin? To experience what we did from the start to finish.

( memories of people, some discrepancies from what rokuro has said himself — grandparents, a sister, some of those missing from what he told komaeda, but pieces come together from what the shopkeeper has told him during their time together. )

I don't know if you remember, Hinata-kun, but what I made you touch while we were inside was a gorinto albeit damaged, you blacked out... unfortunately. Perhaps the reason why is because you were already in a memory, and doubling up isn't allowed.

Edited (fine whores) 2021-09-04 23:57 (UTC)

But whose memory were we even in? Who was that boy?

[not everyone has the family lore book on hand or the school spoilers...as far as she knows, that was a stranger, the same as Kogamo. and that means that to find out more would be even harder to discern. for some reason, Komaeda and Natsume don't seem as bothered, but are they simply acting tough?

better to focus on this than to pay attention to the guilt that wants to eat her alive.]

( ...Right, not everyone knows. )

Rokuro Arata-senpai, wasn't IT?

( Asked more to Komaeda, since he's the only other person who's been around as long as he has and... Well, Hinata has too, but he seems to have memory loss so Natsume won't press it for now. )

I never talked with him extensiveLY, but he did do some favors for ME... A fairly forgettable FACE, all things considERED. I hadn't recognized him at FIRST, not until he SPOKE.

( eyes move from hinata, to helena, then to natsume, and he doesn't say anything because he doesn't feel as if it's his turn to talk. well, that's until natsume looks towards him for confirmation, and his hand curls around the stone in his hand as he takes a step forward, looking around at the various gorintos surrounding them. so many memories cast away, and out of all the ones they stumbled upon, they managed to insert themselves into his. )

It was him, the moment I saw him... he was supposed to die there.

( that said, he did inevitably die by the time he reached his home and sibling, but there's no need to repeat the obvious. his mechanical hand leaves from his pocket, settling upon his waist as he kicks a random oval shaped rock — sure, it's someone's memories, but they seem useless if they laid on top of them. )

He's always told me we had history together, but the memories we have of this world are fake... so it's meaningless. ( an offhand comment just in case either hinata or helena questioned their own yogen memories, but their mileage may very depending on how well they accept it. ) Anyway, he attends school with us, however... he's a third year with a goal like everyone else.

( ...The past can't be changed, but he's attending school with them now... Hmmm. )

And that goal is to graduATE, as any third year's might BE. ( even back home that was his, but with significantly less bloodshed. ) It's too bad he's a fellow student here—if he wasN'T, I bet Arata-sensei would be more willing to talk about their potential relaTION. It can't be a coincidence they share a last NAME.

( Not here!! There Are No Coincidences Here. )

No, it's not.

[there's much to consider, but she remembers that small voice telling them enough to know that calling for help was useless.]

Kogamo...the little one we met, they said their father worked at the school, and that he came back to them on Sundays. That says two things: one, that this teacher is almost undoubtedly their father, and two, that he has somewhere he stays or resides during the week to stay on or near the school grounds.

Edited 2021-09-06 03:57 (UTC)

He has a pl—-... "Sensei"? There's another Arata in this school?

( he looks at natsume, a brow raised as this is new information to him that he hasn't heard of. and then helena speaks, and komaeda's eyes shift to her next. the key words that stand out is that he worked at a school, and only came back on sundays.

npc-kun has told komaeda as well that their father was a teacher, visited them once a week which would be... sunday. it isn't hard to connect the dots, because with what natsume says of there being another arata here outside of rokuro, and neither of them knowing who kogamo actually is, it makes komaeda's lips purse into a straight line. )

Who are you speaking about, Sakasaki-kun? ...And Adams-san, did they mention anything about a mother, about her being gone?

You never asked the counselor his NAME, Nagito-kun? How rude of YOU.

( Not that Natsume asked his name specifically, but— )

I asked to see his certificaTION. Mizuki Arata, a graduate of Tohoku UniversiTY, class of 1919.

( ..........yes, 1919. )

I wasn't going to get counseled by someone with no liCENSE, so naturally I wanted him to prove he was fit to offer HELP.

Edited (i forgot ALREADY.) 2021-09-06 04:30 (UTC)

A mother...no, not specifically. Kogamo only mentioned their father. But there were recorded messages of a woman's voice, saying that she loved them, that she missed them. No way to contact her, however, only her voice there.

[the counselor...if school comes back in session, does that mean they'll be able to talk to him?]

Do you think this Mr. Arata will be willing to speak, if we brought up all we know?

Talking about names... Sakasaki-kun — ( with a smile, slightly uncomfortable. ) Are you feeling alright, calling me Komaeda-kun would work much better...

( as for the counselor, that's something... now he's trying to see if they have any visual similarities... and he was the one who told komaeda those memories with rokkun were nothing. ) ...He would deflect and ask me if I ever had a counselor before, which the answer was pretty obvious... I never used one before, so I had to take what I could get. But Tohoku University... that's something... where is that place located?

( he hums in thought, bringing a hand to his chin as he taps once, then twice. )

About the mother, that sounds correct... from what was said, it resembles a mother who left their children, but misses them dearly — ah, left the father and their two kids, but took the third along.

( ... as for helena's question, there's something uncomfortable that stirs in the pit of komaeda's stomach. he doesn't look, but knowing that hinata's here, knowing that his memories are... scuffed, the way to meet with the counselor is by receiving a note after an outed murder. his hand lifts, scratching at the back of his head as if he's thinking of how to respond to that.

... it's not a conversation he's had with hinata yet, and when the other learned before...

... )

Why not try to speak with the nurse, she could give a specialist referral to meet with the counselor. I've spent my days in a hospital, so I'm familiar with the method.

There's nothing wrong with calling you by your NAME, Nagito-kun. We're friends forged by fire NOW.

( (: )

But putting that aSIDE. Tohoku University is located in Sendai— ( helena doesn't have a japanese name, she might not know where that is? ) which is a city in the Miyagi Prefecture of Japan. It's an extremely selective university, too; its entrance exam is considered one of the most difficult in the counTRY.

( Listen to this nerd go. )

It's well-known for its three princiPLES, as well as its pioneering move of being the first university to accept women and foreigners as students in the PAST... It's interesting that he received his degree from there THOUGH. Maybe in the past its social services were more celebraTED, but it's famous for its law program nowaDAYS.

[she appreciates the background information! it paints a better picture of this man, who she's prepared to believe all sorts of horrible things about with him leaving his children. at the least he's a studious sort, but it doesn't excuse that...or the mother for leaving. really, the children are innocent here.

her eyes closing, she contemplates the matter at hand.]

If none of you can make a convincing reason to get a recommendation to see the counselor, I can.

[lying isn't entirely to her preference, but she is a fiction writer. if she thinks about it like that, it will be okay.]

A school for those who lack talent, they're like a reserve course, trying to make it to the top, yet failing.

( yeah, arata-sensei went to a poor people's school, for those who lack talent, and so that means komaeda doesn't care for it now that he's heard it. )

What sort of method is it? It's probably best that one or two people take part, reoccurring practices can make those who have a degree in tampering with the mind wary.

( ... )

We're counting on you, Adams-san!

( ugh komaeda just doesn't understand........ if not for his chosen professions, natsume might attend tohoku. you don't know. )

...I can think of a few reaSONS, but your method might prove safest and most seCURE, Little Bat. ( so: we're counting on you, adams-san! ) Nagito-kun and I will just be backup in case yours doesn't go as PLANNED.

[It's a lot to take in. That the boy is here, maybe even somehow still alive from the way the others are talking about him? That the boy - Arata Rokuro, he has memories with Komaeda, but they aren't real...?

And the... counselor. Arata Mizuki, he's here in this school. The one that left Kogamo all alone in the woods every six days. The one that wasn't there for Rokuro when he was dying all by himself. The grief in his heart shifts to embers, a spark that's kindled.]

...Komaeda, what you said earlier about your memories with... Arata... That's wrong.

[Hinata turns his gaze on him, just for a moment. It isn't rebuking the way it could've been after he felt betrayed by Komaeda later in his life; now, it's simply sharp with the conviction of his words.]

I don't know anything about memories being fake... [And it's not like he can question the impossibility of it after what they just went through.] ...But it doesn't mean that they don't matter. Even if it didn't "happen", the feelings and emotions still matter. Those are still real. [With those words, he looks to Natsume and Helena as well.] Whatever we do... I want to fight for those kids. I want to help them. We promised to help Kogamo, and that's as real to me as standing in this room with the three of you right this very moment.

[Hinata has no way to know that he's already had thoughts and words that carried this conviction just the same, the way he cares about Saihara and Nene with all of his heart. Both of them engraved there, belonging and irreplaceable. It doesn't matter if this school is what gave that to him - because Hinata would give everything that he is for either of them, without question.

Even if he can't remember that he realized it before, his heart is unchanging. He's still Hinata Hajime.]

I... want to try and go with Helena, too. There's a lot I want to say to the counselor. [A lot he needs to.] I don't know if we'll both be allowed in at the same time, but... I want to try, at least.

[If nothing else, finding a convincing argument won't be hard. Hinata is stressed out literally every day of his life.]

[nodding her head, she reaches up to touch where the ribbon should be if she hadn't given it away. empty space, and it reassures her, enough to carry on.]

Nightmares born of worry. I can claim they plague me so badly I can hardly get a night's rest, that I wake up distressed and can't manage to settle down. It would help if there was a way to make me look more tired, but in any case, I can say someone said to ask. And if we can't all go in, we should think of what we need to say, so that whoever's chosen can get the answers.

[pausing for a moment, she's lost in thought.]

As real or not real as any of that might have been...I don't have my ribbon anymore. I gave it away and it's still gone. Something had to have changed. I don't know what, but it did.

...

( he's quiet at hinata's words — the emotions and feelings he feels, that those are real. it makes him chuckle when they come from someone like him who lost their memories not once, but twice, so this would be a subject for him to comment on. if it was any other day, komaeda would have rolled his eyes, and ignored hinata, but he stares towards the other...

there's a part of komaeda who wishes that his feelings weren't real, because those are the scariest part... like being here now under the roof of this room — it could collapse, and everyone could die instantly. )

Hinata-kun, I do think you should take that offer with Adams-san... both of you may be able to use it to your advantage, as for me and Sakasaki-kun... we'll go about other methods. Like learning where that place was... Wonder if it was Saransk... he'd joke about us going there in our younger years.

( at the mention of the ribbon, komaeda pauses, eyes closed before exhaling. it's only for a moment as he finds himself walking a few steps away. )

Edited 2021-09-10 06:47 (UTC)

If you need help looking tiRED, I'm able to perform a little magic with makeUP.

( ...It's part of his profession's skill set, looking pretty. He can make someone look worse, too. Saransk makes him glance over to Komaeda though—Saransk...

Natsume briefly turns to smile back at Helena and Hinata, even if only one of them can see it. )

But make sure you rest up before you GO. Today's been harrowing on all of US... It wouldn't do to go too SOON.

( But then he takes his steps after Komaeda, catching his ... sleeve, yeah, to get his attention, and he lowers his voice: ) What else did he say about SaranSK, Nagito-kun? Because Kudo-chan also suggested she and I could go there for one of our very far away date spots when she won me as a boyfriend for a WEEK.

( komaeda forces himself to stop, eyes glancing back as he comes face to face with natsume, which he's unable to hold back his smile. it's not like the other wants anything from him, and when komaeda thought he was doing him a favor by making more of a distance between them. he doesn't say that aloud, but his mouth parts into an "o" curious at a familiar name — kudo chiaki said what? )

...Komaeda-kun? ( he asks, lowering his voice even more as he finds that this conversation should be between natsume and him. he stands close, leaning towards natsume to keep his voice within hearing distance since he already talks low. )

Ah... this will sound crazy but... ( a date spot? ) We went there to elope... we hid for a week amongst the bleachers of the Mordovia Arena.

( which ori says linear time is a construct, and so it was built earlier to, and created fast enough to fit rokkun's needs. )

I'm unsure if that location is the ideal place for a romantic getaway, but... it is home to the Family Monument, and... he's a person who loves his family, if that symbolizes anything. ...Did Kudo-san tell you where you'd both stay during your time there?

( this is months ago... but let him think, gaze dropping between them. saransk... she'd wanted to go to it because... )

No, she hadN'T. She told me that if the forest didn't work OUT, she'd like to go somewhere far away that she'd never been beFORE, and mentioned that PLACE. ( and then guam, and getting passports from rokuro. speaking of i don't remember if he ever got it, things to doublecheck. ) Saransk, of all plaCES... I wasn't aware it was such a tourist TRAP. Aren't Moscow and Saint Petersburg more popuLAR? Not to mention YekaterinBURG.

Edited (thanks mobile) 2021-09-10 23:24 (UTC)

( with a hand brought to his chin, komaeda cups it in thought with a small hum at the information. saransk is a random place to choose out of all places, but it's a location no one would really think of. natsume's right about it being a tourist trap, and it's smaller than the other locations. )

...Huh. When I first met Kudo-san, she was attached to his arm... so they have plausible history together, and it was Rokkun who told Sena-kun and I that we all attended the same middle school together. She could have learned it from him...

( and the boy that they met in the memory was nothing more than fresh out of the very place. pale green eyes look towards natsume, meeting his gaze as he speaks again. )

As for Arata Mizuki... I can't say he hates his own sons, I've been told that he was the best father despite coming home once a week, but his relationship with Rokkun is... strained. ( from their conversation, he was trying to expose komaeda to an obvious disconnect. like the memories of the him "before" wasn't the him "now", and so the beliefs that rokkun have are different to what komaeda knows. that makes the construct of their lives a lie, everything the other knows about him... ) ...This means he'd know more about Saransk, so he can enlighten us together... if you aren't busy, Sakasaki-kun.

( besides, known murderers versus a set sent through the nurse's recommendation could give two different conversations, and so it wouldn't be bad to see what information they can get from this. besides, he trusts hinata's own intuition, and if komaeda believed in anyone on jabberwock island despite the hiccups in their investigations — he quickly glances at hinata out the corner of his eye, and a passing thought of if he'll save the arata's futures too. helena showcased the type of hope she has, something that sits on komaeda's mind, and he believes that something will come together if they link into pairs — brave, strong, afraid of the accidents, and the loss... but that makes her even stronger.

he doesn't worry for them. )

If he can give us insight on locations, we can see how it connects Kudo-san and Rokkun, Kogamo-kun as well. We can catch up with both Adams-san and Hinata-kun, and bring our information together...

( that said, he has to talk to rokkun personally, but there's this uncomfortable feeling in his stomach... )

Edited 2021-09-11 00:11 (UTC)

...You do know I can hear you both. You needn't be whispering and trying to hide something from us, as if we didn't all go through the same events.

[her tone is still soft, still kind, but there's a thread of exhaustion in it, inflexible as steel. her patience only will last for so long, and this is strange, and it's been a long, long length of however many hours it has been.]

If we don't know, then fill us in, because those kinds of secrets aren't meant to be kept.

MISSION 2.C

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