yogen | (closed) watch me dissolve, slowly.

...Then why do you listen to me, it's not like I need your pity, talking to myself is just as good.

( he's actually thinking about getting up to leave, it seems his purpose is done here, but he does listen to the story about fairies, and this isn't the first time stephanie has brought it up. )

We're dead... Stephanie, there's no fairies here... we're ghosts, but... having a simple mind like that won't help us in the future... we have to keep our minds open to every possibility.

( but do something that they can win... )

You know... we already did.

... Because I like talking with my friends? [sigh] Why does everybody here think friendship has to be so... transactional?

[you can just talk to talk. you don't have to want anything, except having the other person near you.]

And dead people don't walk around like we do without magic. [she pulls a face] Don't be like Kokichi. You know this place has magic. You've seen it. It might not be exactly like the kind I have at home, but some things always stay the same.

... You get upset that I don't listen to your ideas, but you don't exactly listen to mine, do you? [a little petulantly,] Nobody does.

Edited 2021-09-26 23:54 (UTC)

Now, now... I understand magic. Back home, there was an annoying bunny that would turn chickens into cows.

( that was probably because of what their minds was uploaded into, but that doesn't mean magic isn't real — if anyone talks about the stuff of fantasies, it's komaeda. he can understand stephanie's thoughts better than oumas, so he shakes his head when hearing the ultimate's name. he hasn't seen him in awhile, either, which doesn't bode well.

...

ah, how unfortunate. )

I've always heard you, Stephanie, even now I'm listening. You want us to create a game to win against them with... ( he's a little against this idea, but he guesses he can allow stephanie the chance to borrow it. ) I take hope seriously, though... but there's probably a way to use Okane-san's death as a start, that was something this school didn't see coming...

( but it's been a long time, so maybe he has to do something again. hmm... )

Maybe it didn't see it coming, but it's definitely what it wants... [shakes head] No... This place feeds off that sorta thing. Death and sadness. Whatever we beat it with, it'll be made of the opposite. Life and joy.

And hope!

( that's what he's doing, giving hope. )

...I promised something, so I have to feed this place as much hope as I can until.

( sometimes he can't believe he promised something like that, but rokkun told him to keep being him... and that means... ) What will you do now, knowing the truth of this place?

... Yeah. And hope. [but maybe a normal person's definition of it.

she thinks, then shrugs.] I don't know. It still doesn't feel real yet, so I guess I'll just wait for it to actually hit me and go from there.

[about five minutes after he leaves she is going to have a panic attack so severe she can't take a full breath for a half hour.]

... I hope I'm not upsetting my uncle. It was bad enough when I just thought I was kidnapped.

...Do you want me to stay around, you're very sensitive to these matters.

( crying, fretting over if the people around her will be the ones to murder next. it's part of the reason why he wanted her to come to her own terms on the state of their existence. )

But aren't they all, so I won't treat you any different. ( he'll roll on the bed the opposite direction, and then roll the other until he comes to a stop up against her. )

Sportacus? ( uncle? )

... That's very kind of you. [and she wants to encourage that!] I think I'll be okay, though. [but also he is the exact opposite of comforting. so, she lies

she grins, shaking her head.] No, my uncle. Uncle Milford. I've lived with him for two years, now... If you think I'm sensitive, he's even worse. Look...

[she reaches under her pillow, bringing her diary out -- and now realizing she'll have to find a better hiding spot, oh well -- and flips it open, holding it up so she can see the drawing she's pointing to.]

I draw everybody from back home. It helps, I think. I miss them a lot.

Come, come...

( he's going to lean up properly, and open his arm so that she can lean up against him, if she wants. he seems to be waiting though, thinking if he does it now, it can be saved for something letter. )

Oh... Is that your uncle and aunt, when I look at him... he does seem like he'd be a crybaby.

( forgo sensitive, just jump the fence to what's worse, because he's seen stephanie cry, and if it runs in the family... )

It must be hard not having anyone from back home... I have someone, but he doesn't remember me properly. In a way, we're kind of the same.

( him and stephanie, but... it does feel weird how he's able to tell her these things, maybe it's really because she's the only one who would listen. )

Aw, don't be mean! If he met you, he'd have nothing but nice things to say. That's just what he's like. He even calls Robbie "Mr. Rotten." Nobody else does that in town. He'd probably say you were a delightful young gentleman and thank you for looking after his favorite niece.

You have all your Ultimates, though... [pause] Oh, I don't have an aunt. That's Miss Busybody. My uncle loves her and follows her around everywhere and does everything she asks, but she doesn't give him anything in return. She's actually kinda mean to him sometimes.

[and if she had the capability to be subtle, she wouldn't be giving him a very, very pointed look. alas, she is ten.]

You misunderstand me, the Ultimates are their own type of hope, and they don't belong to me. Not like how family works, anyway.

( he makes a mental note that stephanie has a whole uncle, but not an aunt... so not only is he a crybaby, he has no girlfriend... how unfortunate, and lonely. oh well, maybe one day. )

I get it... he's chasing after her because he's obsessed and smitten, that's a sad position to be in, especially if she won't love him back.

( komaeda's a romantic, he would know, actually. ) Though, her attention may be enough for him, but with that look... you must not care. Hm... maybe he'll die too and come and visit, we need more hopeful individuals here!

( genuine, he's genuine about it... please, he means no harm, but thinking of stephanie's best interest. )

[rolls eyes] Yeah, it's a very sad position. Sometimes people get so used to being treated in a certain way that they can't imagine being treated anyway else. It reminds me of a lot of people here, actually.

[like maybe some people in this room idk]

... I'm glad to be alone here. Even if I miss everybody more than anything, knowing what would have to happen... [shakes head] No. I'll see them when I get out of here. Or when they come to get me. That's the only ways I'd want that.

( he's going to stare because what does that mean? people can't imagine being treated a certain way, ah... wait, he gets it. )

Sometimes people... you must mean Rokkun, I think so... he's used to keeping himself away from others, that is very sad... his hope would be brighter if he had someone nice to talk to.

( looks at stephanie. )

...You have to graduate first, though... first years and second years shouldn't even think about graduation.

[lightly] Maybe he'd have nicer people to talk to if he wasn't a total dick.

... I'm not graduating. I'm leaving. I told you from the start: I don't play games where nobody can win. And I'm not playing theirs.

A total what?

( there's a quick look, like... what? a total what? )

...Aside from that, then wouldn't you like to know... Rokkun is playing by the same game as you, ( sort of. ) ...it shouldn't be too long.

A dick. Y'know, a jerk, but a really bad one. That's him. [that's okay komaeda she also didn't know what that word meant but people are so nice and teach her so many things.]

And that's why he'll fail. He's doing it by himself, isn't he? [sniffs] We'll all get out because we'll work together. If he's lucky, he won't be killed. Or, maybe that would be being lucky...

...I know what it means, but who said that? Where did you learn it from... have you learned asshole yet? That's a really good one.

( he gets called that all the time, dick is nice, but asshole is nicer. )

... ( he should die? would that be the lucky way out? he knows he leans on the side of bad luck, and komaeda glances at the floor to dismiss the thought. ) Then you should have let me kill myself that day, Stephanie, if that's being lucky.

Natsume's friend. [whose name escapes her, constantly.]

It's lucky for him. For a big dummy that thinks you can win all by yourself. Not for us. [grins] We're a team. When we have luck, it'll be good luck. We'll win where he loses, because we'll do it together.

Akehoshi-kun...

( subaru... sighs. )

He's not doing it by himself... Apparently I made a promise a long time ago, hm... I can't take it back.

( the group does have komaeda's luck when he feels like it, but good luck isn't that easily given... they have to go through the throes of bad luck as well. )

I'm on the side of hope! So as long as you remain hopeful, you'll have me! I believe in you to do so, you're a very hopeful individual unlike some here...

[she gives him a. somewhat pained expression.]

Don't get yourself killed over him. Over a promise you don't even remember making.

[she reaches over, tugs at his sleeve.]

He knows about us. How we can't remember, and how we couldn't leave. And he lies. How do you even know you made him a promise? [pause] Does it even sound like something you'd do? You couldn't even promise me you wouldn't murder.

( when someone younger than you has to tell you not to be stupid, and komaeda wonder what's going on in his life. he doesn't really care that much, and he wouldn't die hopelessly for anyone, especially something like that. if he dies, it'll be because he wants to feed into the hopes of others — )

I won't die any type of way... do you lack that much faith in me?

( with the question posed, he shakes his head. ) You can say it was a promise that I hate, and I disliked what he said to me... though, he gave me the option to make a different one.

( now he'll move from that because he surely did not think of a new one, he was interested in... whatever happens in his crazy mind. )

That said... the counselor has debunked many of his statements before, so if I speak with him again... he'll clear up my thoughts. Have you spoken with him yet?

... Komaeda, you want to die all the time. Even if this isn't a suicide mission, you'd find a way to make it one.

[like she has faith that he'll find a way to die.]

I met him, back with Hyde. He wanted my memories, but he settled for his. [glances at beanbag chair in corner] The counselor always tells the truth. You can't trust him.

I've never had a counselor before, so he was my first. I can tell that his words are different from the others here, he sends you on one path that doesn't match the others.

( maya, rokkun, the others here... their ideals never match up with the counselor, so it makes sense that there'sa discrepancy in who to trust. )

What did he want his memories for?

[shrugs]

I think he eats them. He's always eating stuff.

... If he doesn't, he's the one who would have your jerk friend's memories of his family. And maybe he's the one who took our memories of this place, too. Like I said... You can't trust him.

Ahahaha! You think he has them? ...Ah, no, no... Stephanie, he doesn't have them at all.

( ...

god, rokkun going to break komaeda's neck at this rate. )

I know where his memories are.

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