(closed) watch me dissolve, slowly.

[commences]

Who: Nagito Komaeda & anyone who hits me up
What: Septmeber catch-all
When: 09/01 onwards
Where: Various locations
Warnings: TBA

---

but i don't even know how the chemistry works when you're poolside
kicking in the dirt, kicking in the sand and stirring up trouble.

This post is a place for all of Komaeda's closed threads, starters, and miscellany through the month. If you want to set something up, I can be reached by PM or at sakasaki

Comments

[sisters]

not today, but other days you'll pass off credit that's yours
practice what you preach and all that, yea?

( but he's not too beat up about it, just because komaeda shies away from the spotlight. would just prefer it if he didn't use it as an excuse to try and shine it on amami instead, is all. in any case, he taps the pen against the desk a couple times as he reads the rest, before writing out his response. )

i'm fine
appreciate the concern, but i'm still more worried about kamokun
maybe you should check in on them?

[commences]

( practice what he preaches? learn from him if it's the ideal way of thinking, and then he'll follow suit once he's dead — if there's an afterlife after this one. sheepishly, he lifts a hand to scratch the back of his neck as he read the rest of what's written. he would be worried, wouldn't he? had that confrontation happened any other way without npckun, he believes that amami would have held up better than what he's doing, but this is needed. he'll have to grow from this, because it's true... the people you care for are never truly out of danger.

...

rokuro didn't even have the chance like amami did, and it sits in komaeda's mind more than it should as he stares at the other. )

i'm well aware with how i want to proceed, so would you like to offer a letter to them? i can take it along.

[sisters]

( he looks at the words thoughtfully, glancing to komaeda, then to the page, as if asking something, but.... he doesn't put it into words. he had plans about that, coincidentally, but he's not sure how to proceed with them now. the mess of emotions swirls in the pit of his stomach, but he figures he can work something out. it's... an appreciated offer, at least. )

i was thinking about it
you don't mind running it for me?

[commences]

I'd never mind doing something for you...
I can pass a letter from you along the way...
The way they looked at me during that moment, and then to have Akehoshi-kun speak on my behalf...

( he always listens to his ultimates, they can take advantage of anything that they'd like when it comes to him, but he doesn't allow his eyes on amami to waver. he'll write on the note one more time, sliding it over to amami so that he can read it... the beginning may not make sense, but they are words... that even through all the pain, the negativity... the unfortunate, that people can still find happiness through it. maybe it's meaningful, maybe amami can find something out of it. )

A memory is a memory, and the past is the past. "What could have been" does not change reality: to fall again and again and again, to break again and again and again. To struggle, to die, to fail... to drown in the futility of it all... again and again and again... ...but in the end, he was happy anyway. The thought that somebody would have helped, that somebody would have taken care of them, that they wouldn't have been alone.

I didn't understand those words... but now, I'm happy that it was you at that moment, in that vicinity... you changed the direction because of your hope.

[sisters]

( it's... a little bit poetic for him, personally; matter-of-fact, but still with a sense of something intangible within it that he feels he's supposed to grasp. amami reads the note over, and then he looks back to the top, reading it again. for a few minutes, he lets the words soak in as he tries to understand it — the sentiment komaeda is trying to share, and... once again, he finds himself at a loss, in a way. that the same guy who said that amami could be a stepping stone himself, is also offering him comfort after he failed in such a way.

he has mixed feelings, to be honest, but... he thinks he gets the sentiment, at least. appreciates it, as he glances back to komaeda.

pointing at the paper for a moment, he'll lift the page as if to rip it out of the notebook, but doesn't quite pull hard enough to do so yet. do you approve, komaeda? he wants to keep these words. )

[commences]

( he remembers last time, where komaeda actually took what he wrote away from him because he was too frustrated with himself — the rights and wrongs, his reasons for letting one untalented swine live despite his death could have been a stepping stone for others. while he lacks hope himself, rokkun death would have done nothing for him, but perhaps others, and he took that away. hypocritical, and yet komaeda closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and he forgets about it as if he's done nothing wrong.

...

...

...

once they flutter open again, he watches as amami pulls at the sheet, and komaeda leans back, his hands sliding away from the notebook to allow the other the chance to take it. )

[sisters]

( amami watches as komaeda seems to consider it, before allowing him what looks to be permission. the soft sound of paper being torn out, slowly (carefully) as amami pulls the page, feels deafening in the quiet of a room that used to have no sound at all. it only takes a moment though, and amami will fold the paper into a neat, small square, before tucking it away in his pocket. he offers a faint smile, weak but present, to komaeda before he takes the pen to a new sheet in the book. )

thanks
i appreciate that

( maybe something like that... is something he needed to hear. )

[commences]

I wonder... can they be words to live by.
I guess I'll find out soon.

( he smiles, thinking back to where he heard them, and even now he wonders if rokkun lives by them — does he even still remember them. passing on this golden words to an ultimate who probably doesn't need them, but it's the fall, the shattering that's caused amami to be this way, but as long as someone was there, that they weren't alone. that it was amami first and foremost, and the others next, that things must have been better for them — having gone through that, and being by themselves with no one familiar, it'd just be a replay of their past. )

You're pretty great at this family aspect, ah... thank you.

( because family is there for each other, and he didn't fail when it counted most. a despairing situation grows the hope, so he stands up, looking down at the other. )

If you write a note, I can bring it along.
I don't want to hold up the thoughts of an Ultimate.

[sisters]

i'll give it a try
and i'll hold you too that too

( but that's all he'll write, aware of how komaeda pulls himself to his feet, and figuring that he must be on his way out if that's the case. he holds up the notebook for komaeda to take, offering something of a smile in return since it's probably his, right? )

[commences]

You wanted me to give them a note, didn't you?

( he asks, looking at the other... while komaeda won't overinvest like this, he'll make sure to come back the next day if the other is... still out of it. this is where he stayed actively after rokkun's almost death, and he wonders why the aratas seem to suffer in such a way... perhaps they really do lean towards bad luck. he smiles softly, sliding the notebook back towards amami. )

[sisters]

( amami just waves his hand — it's fine, it's fine. if anything, if komaeda stays looking at him, he'll scribble out one last word and slide it back. )

later

( he doesn't think kamo-kun is all too interested in reading his poorly thought out analysis of the themes in the master key, so like, let him think of what to write just for them. )