yogen | (closed) watch me dissolve, slowly.

( it was a long day, and an equally long night, so komaeda's eyes feel heavier than normal, and the pillow under his head is even more inviting. his organic hand pulls at the cover to tug it over his shoulder, and maybe his head if he keeps being bothered, but this is perhaps the first time in awhile he's been able to sleep slightly peacefully. he's not a heavy sleeper, so he can hear hinata speak to him...

mutter, mutter... voice hidden behind the comforter, using it to protect himself from being prodded anymore. )

...ne. ... ( ... ) ...ah...

Komaeda...

[He's actually a little worried now... They haven't been rooming together very long, but this doesn't seem like him at all.]

Hm...

[Hinata hums as he weighs his options. He could let Komaeda sleep in, but...]

Alright, I guess that's the only thing to be done, then.

[It's said quietly to himself, though perhaps Komaeda will hear it. Mind made up, Hinata starts digging under the comforter to try and pull it away a little.]

Come on, Komaeda, you're worrying me now. What's gotten into you?

...

( the movement on the bed stirs him a little, his eyes heavy as they flutter open slightly, but he still wants to keep them shut instead. slowly, he exhales as he gauges where the pressure on the bed is coming from. he uses his organic hand to slide against the bed, searching for what's pulling his blanket, and his fingers briefly brush hinata's own.

his mouth parts with a yawn, and tears bead up in the corner of his eyes. shifting his hand, he laces their fingers together, using the method so hinata can no longer take his covers. )

...Good morning, Hinata-kun.

( there's a pang in his chest, slightly on edge from being woken up by him again. though, the cover has been removed from his face, so a soft, sleepy expression rests on his face as the guilt squeezes at his heart. )

If you want to yell at me... please get it over with.

[Hinata makes a soft, embarrassed sound when Komaeda laces their fingers together, face getting a little pink. But it doesn't stop him from squeezing lightly, eyes full of concern.]

What the hell...? I'm not going to yell at you for real over laundry, come on. I just said that I'm worried about you.

[Lightly, he tugs on their joined hands to see if Komaeda will sit up.]

Did... something happen yesterday? You got back to the room late last night, too...

( he skips over his statement, not wanting to dwell on the idea of being yelled at — the other could, he's had drastic switches depending on where the pendulum swings. he's softer now, kinder, but there could come a day where hinata's more irritable, hates komaeda — or maybe not, that book the other received said differently.

... )

...Don't be! I haven't overslept, but got the approximate amount of hours I usually take.

( that's because he came back late, as for the reason... )

You didn't stay up waiting, did you? ( did he hear komaeda walk in? sneaky, sneaky hinata... komaeda will sit up properly, watching the other.) I went to visit an acquaintance of ours.

[Suddenly panicked and flustered, Hinata shoves at Komaeda's shoulder lightly.]

Sh-shut up! I-it's not like I actually stayed up and waited for you...! [He totally did. At least for a little while; Hinata is still responsible enough to go to bed within a decent amount of time to wake up for class the next day.] Anyway, I'm a light sleeper, so... even if I fell back asleep right afterwards, there's no way you coming into the room that late wouldn't wake me up.

[Hinata shuffles back a little bit as Komaeda gets up, but still sticks close. However, at the last bit Hinata shoots him a Look.]

...What acquaintance of ours kept you out so late that you woke up late too?

[Was it Joshua... Please let it not be another gun situation Hinata will never go to sleep again.]

That's right, nothing can get past Hinata-kun...

( when he felt like such a heavy sleeper before, but he was the one who woke up in such disarray, and maybe komaeda was the heavy one. he thinks back to the yelling, the other accusing him which wasn't wrong on his end, and other complaints that stood out.

he's just sitting up on his bed, a little tired as he notices their hands are still laced, and how hinata accommodates to be closer.

...

he let's go. )

My life is pretty boring... Are you sure you want to know? I understand if you'd rather clean clothes tha—- ( he yawns, and tears swell in the corner of his eyes while he uses his other hand to muffle the sound. he's still pretty tired... ) ...Excuse me.

[He blushes a little more when he realizes his hands were joined with Komaeda's as the young man lets go of him, but his eyes narrow as soon as Komaeda yawns.]

See. [The sternness of his voice is lessened a little bit by the redness of his face.] You are tired.

[The expression doesn't hold for long - Hinata melts, sighs, worry reclaiming him. The gaze he shoots at Komaeda is watchful.]

I don't know why you think otherwise, but... I never mind hearing what you say. So if you're willing to share... I'll always listen. Especially if something's bothering you.

...I met with him yesterday.

( where is hinata, i don't remember the set up, but komaeda's going to scoot closer to him so he can lean on his person considering they were holding hands, he can't be that far. )

Arata Rokuro-kun... I spoke to him about what we saw, and it was a pretty lengthy conversation. He was... actually pissed about the entire thing! Ahaaaa —

( laugh into a yawn, soft and stretched as he rests his head on hinata's shoulder, relaxing into the comfort of his body. he knows that he shouldn't because it's only a matter of time until this other probably snaps, yelling at him for something he's done. maybe he'll recall the memory of komaeda exposing the future foundation's black book, and how hinata was nothing more than a reserve course. that's how the conversation went with rokkun, exposed of his failures, what held him back now apparent, and it was practically the worst moment of his life. )

...

[Is it warm??? It feels warm when Komaeda leans on him, and he can't help the surprised noise he lets out because didn't he just let go of Hinata? But embarrassed thoughts, all other thoughts, are soon pushed out of his head as he hears what Komaeda says.

Hinata's entire body goes rigid.]

You... actually talked to him? You found Arata?

[The stiffness doesn't leave him, but Hinata grips Komaeda's sleeve. Something to ground himself with as emotions flood through him.

Grief. Longing. Anxiety. Worry.

Hope.]

I... guess I can understand that. Why he'd be mad, I mean. We saw something that was pretty personal and all...

[He trails off, is silent for just a moment, and then-]

...Komaeda. Are you alright?

( "you... actually talked to him? you found arata?" sounds almost funny, but given hinata's memory troubles, there's no way for him to remember. komaeda talks to him, and apparently that's how their relationship worked, komaeda found rokkun before rokkun found him — or that's how rokuro told the story. with a small yawn, he wraps his arms around hinata's own (specifically the one the male used to grab komaeda's sleeve), holding it tightly like one would do when they're trying to generate warmth from another.

it was an invitation. )

Should I feel bad, Hinata-kun... is that why you're asking?

( what komaeda feels is vacant like everything else, maybe he was disappointed in rokkun for reacting the way he did, maybe he just didn't understand why his past held him back?

his cheek rests on the curve of hinata's shoulder. )

I'm not the one who deserves that question so how I feel is unnecessary, anyway... do you want to meet with him or his sibling first?

No, of course not-! [Hinata shakes his head hard, just the slightest note of frustration in his voice as he grips Komaeda's sleeve tigher.] I'm asking because you just said he was pissed off at you, and I know that you didn't get back to the room until really damn late. Why wouldn't I ask if you're okay?

[He jerks as soon as Komaeda says him or his sibling because. Because.

Because Arata and his sibling are both here. That has to mean they're both here, and-

Guilt. Grief. Hope.]

Let's... get one thing straight before anything else. [His voice shakes, because Komaeda might as well have just dropped a bombshell on him for all that it's affected him. But he still will not be deterred from this.] I don't know who's putting those ideas in your head, but- Your feelings matter to me. So don't forget it, alright?

[If it's an invitation, Hinata takes it, because he wraps his hand around him again. Embarrassed, but steadfastly determined. He barrels on before Komaeda has a chance to refute it with something else sad.]

As for... Arata... [He lets his eyes fall shut. Voice dropping into something quieter, more pained.] I want to see them. Both of them. There's so much I want to say. [Should say. Need to say.] ...I want to see Arata first, though. I owe him more. And seeing Kogamo is-

[don't leave me alone]

...too painful. At least right now. [Sharp. Raw. A wound that aches in his chest. Hinata opens his eyes and hopes there are no tears in them.] I want to see Kogamo so badly. But... Arata first.

Now, now... you're getting yourself worked up over the wrong things.

( getting worried about komaeda is one mistake, but that sort of thinking will come and bite hinata in the ass one day — he exhales, his mouth closes as his lips purse into a straight line. he's not having any difficulties, no, he's just tired, it was a long night, and he's already decided to stay in the dorm to catch up on a bit of sleep. he wonders why it's so easy to find himself dozing to hinata's voice, but he knows that he can't — that's a moment of weakness, a stroke of good luck that he doesn't deserve. )

He was frustrated with every person involved, so...

( hinata manages though to keep the conversation moving, causing komaeda's words to run over each other, and then he finds no reason to continue. no matter how much he wants to say that hinata should just think of himself. to even say that someone is implanting these thoughts causes his eyes to slowly flutter open, and he lifts his gaze to look up a the other. )

Why don't you see him tomorrow? ( he asks, sighing softly as he finds himself a little embarrassed to be in hinata's embrace, his mind has finally registered it because Xam komaeda off x amount of sleep doesn't function as properly as he should. ) It's been awhile since you've spoken to him, and... you've already seen Kogamo-kun.

( he thinks back to hinata's recent interactions with them, and he thinks dropping that small hint wouldn't be so bad, it'd give him a moment to think, plant the seed in hinata's mind that they've met, and then it makes the entire picture of hinata's relationships a little wider, vast, mysterious even. then again, the comment isn't that direct, because it could be referring to the memory, but komaeda wouldn't say something like that when they're talking about the present problem of rokkun's situation... would he? )

And you're being too casual about the wrong things.

[It's a rebuke, but there's no heat in it. Can almost be mistaken for affection.]

...I'll go see him, then. Even if he's upset with us, I still... [He takes a deep breath. Steadies himself.] It's not that I don't believe you. I just... After seeing him die, I need to see him with my own eyes.

[See him talking and breathing, not lifeless and covered in blood like in the nightmares he can't stop having.

If Komaeda thinks the hint was small, though, it doesn't get taken as one. Hinata's eyes go wide.]

Wait, are you- You aren't saying I've already met Kogamo here, are you?

[His mind races with the possibilities, hands still thoughtlessly holding onto Komaeda, gentle even as his body is tense. Runs through all of the people he's ever met at Yogen, dark hair and brown eyes and mochi cheeks.

There are people in class it could be, but... Wouldn't Komaeda just say, if it was one of Hinata's classmates?

There's one person. Young and whimsical and eyes that are so bright, that swindled him out of his money and he let it happen for some reason. Hinata doesn't know why they flash in his mind, but...

There's no way. It can't be.]

( if komaeda's being too casual, maybe he's fine despite the lack of sleep, and his fleeting concentration that works against him every time his body tells him it's fine to rest. knowing that he's still the same person through and through, not admitting a piece or emotion that could read his feelings is the best response he can give.

he's also casual because he has hope, he has no reason to worry given the people who are involved. helena, natsume and hinata are all like-minded people when it comes to approaching situations as sensitive as these. )

Hm... see him, you made that your goal, and I won't stop you.

( he knows hinata well enough that he's thoughtful, and things will connect together with ease. )

A penny for your thoughts, Hinata-kun? ( he leans off the other, finally looking at him properly with pale eyes, like he's waiting for him to understand the phrase used that should close the gap in his thoughts, because the expression the other makes is familiar to komaeda. )

(closed) watch me dissolve, slowly.

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