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Entry tags:
[SEMI-OPEN?] penny for my thoughts?
Who: ????
When: Saturday, September 25th
What: A gorinto is placed in room 1-C.
Warnings: Violence/death, descriptions of burning bodies, and npckun getting an ouchie in the connected log. Will update this if needed.
Clamor's gorinto is set up before the weekend, a simple monument of stacked rocks sitting on the windowsill of class 1-C. Anyone is free to pay their respects, though should they choose to touch it, they'll be confronted with a vision of blood, violence and fire.
For those willing to pay the toll and place a coin upon the rocks... perhaps someone will answer?
((Anyone may touch the gorinto on the 25th and see Clamor's death. Two groups (closed) may place a coin on the gorinto and speak to one of the ghosts connected to it. If your character would have a question for Clamor or "Clamor", please send me a PM/plurk/discord ping and we may be able to fit them in, but CR/investigators will take priority!))
When: Saturday, September 25th
What: A gorinto is placed in room 1-C.
Warnings: Violence/death, descriptions of burning bodies, and npckun getting an ouchie in the connected log. Will update this if needed.
Clamor's gorinto is set up before the weekend, a simple monument of stacked rocks sitting on the windowsill of class 1-C. Anyone is free to pay their respects, though should they choose to touch it, they'll be confronted with a vision of blood, violence and fire.
For those willing to pay the toll and place a coin upon the rocks... perhaps someone will answer?
((Anyone may touch the gorinto on the 25th and see Clamor's death. Two groups (closed) may place a coin on the gorinto and speak to one of the ghosts connected to it. If your character would have a question for Clamor or "Clamor", please send me a PM/plurk/discord ping and we may be able to fit them in, but CR/investigators will take priority!))
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[Not alright, no. Not crying, totally not. Definitely not wiping his eyes on his hands and definitely keeping it together.]
...I missed you. [Even though Noah knows better — Clamor's going to disappear again soon. It's inevitable.] Don't — don't worry about me. I'm fine. I...
...
What... happened to you? Why...
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there's a desire to reach out, to comfort the boy and wipe away his tears... but, of course, Clamor doesn't have the arms to do so anymore. it's as frustrating as he remembers.]
I'm sorry... I won't leave you again this time, I promise. [he still doesn't realize where he is, why he can't see and why the same memories keep flashing in his mind, but there's something he can do to help now so he instead focuses on that] I... I can remember it clearly. I was heading to the library to look for Haruka, and something... attacked me, I think. There was a sudden, jabbing pain at the back of my skull, and then my body went limp...
I didn't see what it was. Everything happened so fast, I barely had any time at all to react... I'm sorry, that's all I know. It must've come from behind, so I didn't see who did it or what it was.
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clutching the skull brooch, nene glances at noah and then back at... well. the gorinto, she guesses. )
... You didn't deserve it. ... Do you remember Inaba...? She- she died around... May. But... she came back this week. S-so- I'm sure you will soon, too. Noah and I are taking care of each other, okay?
( it was a rough start. )
When you come home to us, we'll have so many things to show you.
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He knows better than to say any of that, because it won't let Clamor rest easy. Even if Noah's a sobbing mess right now, even if he'll never recover from this — Clamor shouldn't have to suffer more than he is. Than he did.]
Whoever did it is... don't worry about it, okay? Amami dealt with the whole thing... [
Noah wishes he could strike the final blow still.] I... you'll be fine, s-somehow...[He hiccups a bit in between the sobs wracking his body; part of Noah is grateful that Clamor can't see him. The other part... well, they've been apart so long, it's not fair to think that.]
I-I feel so stupid for leaving you alone, I... I should've been there, I could've... Sorry... W-we're... we're going to bring you home, so don't worry anymore.
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What... do you mean? When I come home? [to his body? he doesn't have one right now, he knows that much, but] I'm here right now, aren't I? Oh, right—I can't see anything, am I in something besides the sickle? It feels different from having the eye covered up, so I thought it might be something like that.
... Well, I'll admit I would've liked to see you all, but I'll manage! [and here comes his usual cheer. it's probably obvious to Noah how forced it is, but he's gotten pretty good at hiding his emotions in this disembodied state. gotta stay positive! for the kids!!] What am I stuck in this time? I hope it's at least portable, but whatever it is, I'm sure we'll figure something out.
Oh! And what day is it? Have I been gone for long? [dear El he hopes it hasn't been as long as Inaba was gone] You said Inaba came back, too? I hope she's in a better state than I must be...
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You're... you're not in anything right now. I-I have the sickle back, but there's no... you're not in it. Your soul is stuck in the wisteria tree, I... I think. R-right now you're just a spirit...
[As far as he knows, anyway; as far as it's been explained to him.]
I'll find a way to get you back, a-and then we can be together again like always. Okay?
[There's a long pause, and a shaky breath following as Noah tries to collect himself. For Clamor's sake as much as Nene's, he needs to do that much.]
...it's September 25th. You've been gone a l-long time.
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( aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA WHY IS SHE SO-- no. noah needs her right now, so there she is at his side again, one hand on his shoulder and the other on his back. she's here. )
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oh
hmm.]
... almost the end of September, huh? So I've been gone a whole month. [to the day, in fact—maybe Noah might even remember him heading down to the library on the night of the 24th, but he was later coming back than usual. was that the day he started acting more distant, distracted...?] Sorry for making you worry for so long... but I know everything will turn out just fine. You're both smart kids, and there are a lot of good people here who can help. I know you can do it.
Ah, you said something about Amami, too, didn't you? Sorry, [how many more times is he going to say "sorry", place your bets] I guess I'm jumping around a bit... there's just a lot to catch up on, it feels like I've missed so much already. Last I saw, Amami was still missing... but I'm glad he's alright, and it sounds like I owe him one! Would you thank him for me?
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how long were they spending time with an impostor? learning from him, showing them things they did like little kids seeking praise from a father? how long was lucifer and- oh god. nene's hold on noah tightens a bit, more to keep herself steady than anything.
when she speaks, her voice is soft, almost raspy- )
... We will. A-and we'll get you back to us.
( the real him. )
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longer than he thought.
Why is he so stupid? He should've known...]
...yeah. I'll say thanks for you. Um...
[He has no idea where to begin with that, though, and maybe he's leaning into Nene a bit heavily while he's processing the mix of emotions going on in his head, emotions which he'd rather just shut out. Him berating himself here and now isn't going to get them anywhere, but...]
Hey, Clamor? Are you able to talk to any of the other... people in the tree? [Do y'all have secret ghost convos... probably not.] If not... do you know how to get you or anyone else... out?
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Maybe Kazuki would know something... You said you have the sickle, right? Soul magic is tricky, especially when a spirit is being bound, but if the spell on the sickle is still active it might be able to pull me back out. But you should speak with the gardener first. He would know the tree better than I would, and it could get dangerous if the tree fights back against the sickle's magic. [like, remember what he said happened with him and Amami last month?? try not to get chomped by the soul tree] Please, just don't do anything reckless... you know where I am, so you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. It's a little lonely, but I feel better knowing that you're all okay.
[he goes quiet for a moment, the blue glow around the gorinto flickering like a candle flame]
... is it just you two here? [not that he dislikes their company at all, but] Is Sidney around? Or Lucifer? I... it's alright, if they're busy. I'm just not sure how much longer I can talk like this...
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So, uh. Yeah! Moving on.]
Yeah, w-we'll go talk to Kazuki. [That... guy. Yes. That guy that Noah can see.......... sometimes.] Sit tight. We'll get you back, even if it's just back in the sickle. It'll be like old times.
[He really, really wants to cry again, saying that. Why couldn't they just be home? Home where they were wandering into the demon realm to find the El Search Party, home where Rosso kept trying to kick Noah's ass, home with Clamor's weirdass nephew— why do they have to be here?]
And... yeah, they're here. We can give you guys alone time, if you want. But when you get back, I want to hear the story of how you three became a [waves hand around] thing, because you never got to tell me before... you know. Deal?
exit nene
( and with that, nene squeezes noah's hand in hers and runs off, maybe almost tripping over a couple of chairs as she goes. it's fine, she's fine- )
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H-hahaha! Right, of course, I'll have to tell you about that next time. [problems for future Clamor, sorry future Clamor] I should be alright for now, I think. There's just some things I wanted to say to them, and it might be awhile before we can talk again...
[but there are also things he wants to say to them, so before Nene and Noah can run off] Try to stay out of trouble, okay? Especially you, Noah. [if only he knew all the wild shit Nene got up to tbh] If you still have my spellbook, I should've left notes for you and Natsume... sorry I can't be there to walk you through everything, but we can work on it together again when I get back. And don't forget about your school work, either—I'll be quizzing you on it, so no slacking!
Nene, I know I didn't get to teach you much, but you've got a lot of potential if you just applied yourself. I'm sure the boys or Lucifer would be able to help you get started if you're interested in learning more magic... and you don't have to worry about me. My soul is safe, and this isn't my first time being bound. I'll see if I can reach anyone else in here in the meantime. I'm sure they'd like to know what's been going on outside... if I can find him, I'll say hi to Izumi for you.
Ah, I'm just babbling now, aren't I? Sorry, sorry—and I was the one who wanted you to fetch the others! I won't keep you two any longer. Both of you, take care of each other and be good, okay? I'm sure we'll see each other again soon.
[we'll see each other soon, but no goodbye, because that feels way too final and he doesn't want to make anyone cry again
it'll be fine. everything will work out, surely... and it's better for them to live with that hope than to feel like he's gone forever. he'll be fine. even if he has to remain in the tree...]
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Clamor?!
( but... the room is. empty.... the desks, the gorinto and noah. nene beside him at least catches what words were meant for him, at least, and he'll politely not acknowledge the quiet sniff he hears at his side. she nods, says 'okay' and 'we won't disappoint you', and he lets her slip back out the door to kind of collapse in the hallway until noah innevitably escorts her away when lucifer comes, because these four aren't allowed to exist in the same vicinity for too long. but for now, sidney can only glance around somewhat desperately, because surely he can't be going crazy, right? )
... Is... he still here?
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Lucifer sweeps past, following after his pact-bearer with his arms crossed as normal. Disappointing that they can't see Clamor, but Lucifer can sense the presence of the man, and...
truth be told? His heart aches. But he's never been the sort to let it show on his face. Not when he's posturing for an audience of one, anyway.]
He's still here, yes, if my senses aren't mistaken. Clamor, can you hear us?
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I'm here, I can hear you... well, I guess I'm not here here. [he's a pile of rocks.
... but now that they are here, what does he even want to say? he's been trying to act strong, trying to focus on how he can help, but...
he waits until he hears the door click shut, the footsteps of two kids stepping away to give the adults space to talk. good. that's good. he's... going to miss them.]
... Thank you. I know I must've put you both through a lot, but... I'm glad I at least get to say goodbye. I'm sorry our time together ended up being so short.
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[Lucifer is the sort of man who doesn't believe in final goodbyes. Not really. His one and only final goodbye had always been to Lilith, but not without him kicking and screaming first. As long as Clamor needs him to, Lucifer will put up a fight.]
I don't spend time in the company of several necromancers and a demon with time magic for you to think you can say goodbye to me so easily. I claimed you as mine, yes? That means you don't get to leave this world until I allow it.
[He sounds so confident in the way he states it, even looks confident in posture — a hand to his chest and a smirk on his lips. But it's easy to tell, and it might be easier for Sidney to feel, that he's breaking apart inside and posturing just to help a dead man rest easier.
After all, none of those people he mentioned are here, are they?]
Our time together will continue as it should. I just need to figure out how to make that happen.
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Death in this place isn't the same. It's not... ... We have Inaba back. I have full faith that you'll come back to us as well. And when you do, I'm holding you for an entire goddamn week and not letting go. I think I've earned that much-
( and for once, sidney's tone shows he's upset- his voice wavers, like a slight crack, and he looks away almost in shame at the fact that it does. but he's not just carrying his own grief anymore. )
Clamor. Please, don't give up. We need you here with us, too.
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But maybe he doesn't know either of them that well at all. They, too, dig in their heels. We need you here with us, too.
He hears the hurt in their voices, even if Lucifer is trying to hide it. They're hurting because of him... his own voice falters, uncertain.]
I'm not giving up. I... I just don't want to hold you back... [it's cruel, isn't it? to make them love him, only to die again so soon. he hates himself for letting this happen.] I'm sorry. I want to be there with you all again. It doesn't feel like any time has passed at all... but I already miss you both. I just don't want you to be unhappy because of me. You don't have to put your lives on hold.
Please... please, just live for me. Live and be happy. That's all I want. If we can meet again, of course I'll want to be there... but it's okay if you have to let me go. I'll still love you, that's never going to change. I promise. So please...
[please, don't make this any more difficult. please just let him go... it's so much easier letting go.]
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( sidney inhales, drags his hand down his face, looks up at lucifer- lucifer, who's seen sidney staring and reaching and longing for the spot clamor would lay, watching tea brew like something's missing, who really only gets out of bed for their son and some of the other kids. )
You aren't holding anyone back. You aren't a burden to carry, weighing us down. I'll wait for as long as it takes, and if I need to bring you home myself, I will. ... I love you, Clamor. Please don't ask me to move on- I can't.