yogen | 10/02 | kiss me thru the pda (678-999-8212)

It's absolute good, Chidouin-san. It's the will everyone has to work together towards a better future, an understanding of the people around you, and coming together to utilize your strength towards a shared goal. Everyone has their own desire... and that's what motivates them, I want to see you all reach that... towards a dream-like happiness that seems unbelievable that it doesn't exist... but it does... it's a pure, and warm essence... it's every positive notion imaginable, and that is why I strive for you all to create a true form of it. ...I'll do what I can to see it, even if it means pushing you just a bit to show that you're capable of overcoming what frightens you...

( confidently he answers, and he says his thoughts which takes him a bit to not use the word, because how do you explain hope when hope is... hope. he has a positive outlook on it, a little better than when he isn't talking about killing people, but there's his visible belief in it, and he glances down in his hand thoughtful for a moment. )

To have that feeling that nothing can stop you...to worry about nothing...

[ Wow he actually did it. ]

To worry about nothing...so you just don't want to feel guilty anymore?

[ She lets go of his hood, stepping away to cross her arms and stare over at him. ]

Some of my desires are pretty selfish, Komeada-san. There's more to life then stepping on everyone to get what you want.

[ Some of it doesn't sound half bad, shared goal, modivating desire...all perfectly fine things. But the way Komeada goes about them...its terrible. He'll act on his own and do whatever he wants. ]

As always...you confuse me. How can you be so empathetic, yet totally lacking?

You're thinking too hard, what's there to feel guilty about when there's nothing to be... are you guilty about something, Chidouin-san?

( komaeda's selfless, he thinks of others before himself, and the same is being done now as he explains to her his views. he can't beg someone to understand hope, but if they fight against it as much as she does, then maybe that's why she doesn't get it. )

There are some stepping stones along the way, but not all the time... the stones you make are the ones you use to elevate yourself, and I would have been one of them had you killed me that day.

( he looks down at the ground, scooting away from narumi for a bit so that he doesn't crush him despite not having the weight to do so. )

You have me alone... Ito-kun is a husk... if you want, this is your chance.

Am I guilty?

[ It comes out as more of a question as she trails off and...Damn her to hell, if she doesn't look at him and consider it for a single second. That they're alone, with everyone focused on murders, and she could get rid of him now and blame it on that stalker.

She really does consider it, for a moment that lasts a little to long. Because, the last time she knew someone this dangerous, she killed him without a second thought. She killed a bunch of others, AI maybe, but alive in their own sense, because they were in the way of what she had to do to win. ]

No. Please don't trick me like this, Komeada-san. [ She forces her hands to unclench, the tension to leave her shoulders, to ignore the ever-present weight of a gun in her pocket. ]

I...won't go back on my word. When I said I'd work together with everyone, I meant it. [ She's going to be a better person then she was when she first got here. ] And more importantly, I promised you could stay here, if you felt unsafe! I want everyone to get out of here, even if I wish you'd be more normal for once! Komeada-san you're an inexplicable, unbearable, and indefensible person, but if you just stopped excusing murder as hope...you have some good traits.

And a bunch of people really like you, and they'd be quite cross with me!

Edited 2021-10-19 05:10 (UTC)

Murder is no good when it's used to turn against one another! That's why they're unable to trust, and why hardships are created along the way.

( it's difficult to watch them fight among one another, to be afraid that every day they believe someone they're close to will stab them in their back. what's the point of people arguing amongst each other to tear down the values they've made, and it's nonsense like that which makes komaeda irritable himself — a huff, and he runs a hand through his hair annoyed. it's easy to tell on his face that he's not too keen on this part of the conversation. )

To use it in that fashion, that's why so many people break apart... why hope is lost, and others fall into despair... ( the people that he's seen, the one's that even mentioned despair is what makes his stomach turn. ) I've seen it too many times, and you have as well! It's placed everyone on sides, some can't even trust others...

( he stands up, a little stressed from the thought, but he takes a deep breath in hopes to calm himself down. one breath, then two, and then there's three as he looks at sara properly. is that what she's afraid of? the group hating her for a decision of murdering him, well, when he thinks about it... that's not how things work. )

Nuh-uh. It's never good. It'll always make people afraid of eachother!

[ It's like he assumes his actions won't have any consequences...yeah using the idea of a greater good is bad? She agrees, but how could murder ever create 'trust'. Even if you kill for someones sake, you've still killed. You're dangerous, and it creates strife. Maybe Sara can't be absolutist enough to say everyone who does that is wrong, but its never good. Death can't have any good outcomes. ]

I'm saying I won't kill you, so what's got you so mad?

[He's standing up, once again putting him above her eye level. He's staring at her...enough to make her nervous.

Actually, its exactly how things work. What did he just forget all the people who jumped up to stop her? They've been in a deadlock ever since, Sara who cares very much about being in everyone's good graces, would never jeopardize herself or anyone else to be selfish like that again. ]

That's why we have to murder believing in each other that we'll do it!

( the opposite of what he's saying, the more insane idea of it all, using trust and belief to enable the attack on one another, because if they're aware, and if they believe, and other small reasons then it's fine. to believe in each other through death is the proper way of going about this, and manages to soften the blow of being betrayed. that's why komaeda's so willing to allow sara to try her hand once more. )

I know you have it in you to kill me, that's why I'm not afraid... ahaha!

( komaeda truly does not mind killing, he doesn't mind what would come from it as long as hope overcomes it all, and it will... even if that's a goal meant for him, he shares it with everyone else. ) Because you believe in me right? To kill you... even right now, while no one is around?

What?

[ How else are you supposed to a react to a worldview so...twisted? ]

Why are you saying something like that...

[ He's scaring her, but she shouldn't let him. This is how it always is. She lets down her guard a little, has a fun time, and then reality comes back in. She needs to stop talking to him like a...whatever. She never liked him, so its fine. ]

After all... being alone doesn't matter to you, right? Even if we were in front of people, you might try it.

Saying something like what... don't worry, Chidouin-san... I haven't tried to kill you yet.

( he looks up at her, shaking his head like he's changed his mind. it's because he has, that's because his brain can't stay on one station so it switches channels until everything stops becoming static. )

I should be thanking you for your kindness, taking in someone lowly as me...

( he sighs, frowning as he nods right after. ) Being alone doesn't matter, it's all about sticking together...

"Yet."

[ She's still freaking out, but now she's had the time to hide it. Her own expression has already flatlined, emotions kicked away and brought to heel. Ugh...and like that he's totally dropped the malevolent demeanor. He's so creepy. ]

...Thank me then. Because I don't like entertaining guys who threaten me.

[ Answering questions she hasn't even asked. Making threats he doesn't back up, saying twisted things and kind ones one after another. Her expectations of Komeada...she needs to lower them. She doesn't want his detective help anymore, nvm. ]

Edited 2021-10-27 07:27 (UTC)

...You're doing good, the first part of learning a case is to understand what people say.

( he laughs, crossing his arms to give way to his little ploy, messing around to see how she'd handle the situation. it's all about breaking down people's words that can be used to understand a murder. )

That's how I read those messages to understand who or what I'm up against.

( her: i don't want the detective work
komaeda: it was always about the detective work )

Did nothing stand out that we had in our conversation, I gave you... a theory of mine.

[ Stoooop she's done she's gone can we just carry Saihara's rock pile around and make it solve crimes for us she's out. ]

Ugh... [ And like that she's on the off foot again. ]

Are you talking about what you said about working together to murder eachother?

Nope, did you read what that person said to me?

( it's thinking time! and now komaeda wants to see how the other handles this, because he looked at something odd in the conversation anyway. )

...If you're good at conversations, perhaps you can tell me what they said, and how it was phrased to you.

So we're just going to forget that happened.

[ She flips her PDA open. When given a puzzle, she wants to solve it, and when given a chance to not hear Komeada say more insane things she will take it.

Tap tap...]

A few things. I mean, they're clearly lying when they ask you if the body is someone you know...I mean...the note at the crime scene. Even then, your friends are the first thing a stalker finds out about you.

[ She leans back on her heels as she stares down at the PDA. What else seems odd here? ]

They said you've met them before...and to me they claimed you two are friends.

Obviously it's not something you want to talk about, and you want to learn to be a detective, don't you?

( he continues to wear his practiced smile, one that's been ironed out for years, a fresh version that resets every time he puts it on. new clothes for every moment, new happiness to try and reassure sara as she speaks to him, well, until his perfect smile drops into a frown at her words. to hear that he's friends with anyone is unsettling, and that's because he doesn't have those — )

As you know, I'm not well-liked, so I don't have friends...

( he sighs, looking down towards the ground in thought, he tries to recall who he's met, but anyone could lie and say they're friends with him, and they could have said they met. )

Do you believe them or do you think they lied?

You're extremely well liked despite everything you do actually...its beyond infuriating.

[ Everyone's ongoing tolerance of Komeada in their lives speaks to his overwelming charisma. Ugh. Even Sara can't admit she's immune. Look, she's even agreeing to his detective tutelage and to help keep an eye on him in case he gets murdered, and she's terrified of him! ]

...Isn't it better to just approach it like they're telling the truth at first, and deal with the fact that they might be lying later? [ She sighs. ] I'm not great with liars...Sou can tell you that. But if you treat their lies like the truth for a while, they usually fall apart eventually.

( i hate this thread exists and then in their recent one he's going to get her a car, i'm crying... he tilts his head to the side wondering what about him is that bad? perhaps she had brain damage considering she believes he's well liked. )

Hm? Can Hiyori-kun tell me that... has he lied to you before? He's fairly skittish, honesty doesn't seem like his forte either, unless... you were both deluded by someone.

( if you treat lies like the truth, he hums in thought, and he watches sara for a moment and with a small "ah". )

That said... what's a lie to you, Chidouin-san?

[ UGH ikr...she wants that car tho. Only Komeada understands her talent as a driver. ]

He didn't like me, so he lied a lot. It's nice that he lies less now. He spent a lot of time trying to be someone he wasn't...not because he was tricked or anything. Um...I just think sometimes people do strange things when they're in a bad situation like we were.

[ Another bit of detective training or more probing questions for Komeada's personal interest? At least its not a hard one. ]

Knowingly saying something untrue? Even little kids know what lies are, Komeada-san.

10/02 | kiss me thru the pda (678-999-8212) | un: n.komaeda

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