yogen | Kiss of Life

( it's not the first time it's happened, and it's unlikely to be the last. the sound of footsteps approaching the door of star one, the door pushed open, and after only a moment's pause it closes again. the footsteps disappear once again down the hall.

they return about ten minutes later. this time, when the door is pushed open, the quiet sound of glass against glass can be heard as two mugs are held in one hand, the other used to carefully (carefully) shut the door as aira makes his way in. his voice is cheery and bright as he greets his roommate, smile habitually stretched across his features, and he'll make his way over towards their side of the room. )

Hi, Helena-san! I brought some hot cocoa again.

( and, as if to illustrate, there's a gentle clink as the two cups are set side-by-side on the sill of the window. they really need to steal a table from the staff room or something. )

Are you busy today?

( he decides pretty early in that he won't be getting any sleep tonight.

well, to be fair, he could have easily gone to bed earlier — he didn't, though. invited out of the room to actually hang around for the holiday, and by the time he finally laid down to get some rest, it was only a few more minutes before the nightly wind decided to kick in. except that tonight, it doesn't sound so much like wind, and between the volume and the desperation of the voices that ring through the air, he... he's restless. a glass of water, maybe, or if he's feeling particularly bold, he can go outside to investigate (again). anything is better than just laying here and listening, so he gets up.

the jar in his hand gives off a faint glow, a dim light cast through the darkness of the hallway as he steps outside of his room. while he does have the advantage of being able to hear another set of footsteps approaching from down the hall, when it comes to where they're coming from and how close they are? that's another story. he'll make his way down to the end of the sun rooms, and it's a failed coin flip when he decides which direction to look first; whichever side of the main hallway meng yao happens to be approaching from, he'll be greeted with the sight of amami cautiously facing away from him, squinting into the darkness like he's looking for something. )

Ah, Aira! That's so kind of you.

[what she's been studying is pushed to the side so that she can pick up a cup, blowing gently on the surface so she can sip safely. he's rewarded with a beaming smile, and she shrugs.]

Busy? Not really...I'm just finishing up my homework. What have you been doing?

[privately, she would agree - they do need to somehow get furniture. maybe the classmate who liked woodworking would be able to work out another trade for a nightstand...]

( so, anyway, they do still share a club. which amami does still attend, sometimes. not all the time, but when he can make it. it's lucky too, because today's one of those rare days where nagito komaeda has decided to grace them with his presence, so amami offers a smile in his direction once the meeting wraps up, with anyone who happened to show today beginning to split up for their own daily projects. he has a project in mind too, when he calls out to komaeda. )

Right, Komaeda-kun, there was actually something I was planning to do today. You don't mind grabbing me some of that cord from the closet, right?

( it should already be open — not like there's any reason to keep it locked for a club meeting, right? and amami will worry about locking up in a minute, but he needs komaeda to grab this for him first, looking expectant as he glances over to the other. )

You sure are diligent, Helena-san.

( said a little bit wistfully, but also a little bit like he's admitting to defeat. )

I was gonna ask if you'd be willing to help me with mine again, but I feel kinda bad if you don't catch a break. I mean, I'm not the only one who's asking you, right?

( he's caught wind of those tutoring services; knows he's getting off real easy in terms of price here, and also, that nobody wants to be caught working all day every day. well, for now at least, he can pick up the glass that's been left on the sill. he brings it up to his lips so he can have a taste too — it's cinnamon-flavoured, his favourite lately, since the cup natsume had shared with him that time. )

Don't worry about it, it's why I only have myself scheduled to certain days. And anyway, if there's no big tests coming up, people tend to ask for it less.

[which is to say, this week she's had no customers, but it's fine. technically she doesn't even need to offer the tutoring services for pocket cash, but by now she's invested in making sure a few of her regulars get past their exams.]

You don't have to feel bad about asking, ever. If I was too busy, I'd just say so.

( komaeda doesn't mind actually, but he didn't expect to be the one called out &mash; despite being the only one here at the moment with amami, and it seems that they're the two who came early. he knows that helena and hinata still attend, he thinks, and komaeda did decide to grace them with his presence. unlike last time, he has his organic hand raised, wrapped around the arm of his left, squeezing tightly as if that'll slow the pain. it hurts sometimes, not all the time, but his nerves connected to nasod technology is new to him, and so he can't help but mess around with it. his claws click together as he nods at amami, but it's still odd for him to keep his mouth shut —

natsume told him not to discuss anything with amami, and so he can't help but stare at him, before turning around and walking towards the closet. with his organic hand, he slowly opens the door, walking inside of it as he pushes a few things out the way to look for the cords. )

Cords... Where are the... aha! Ah, no... how unlucky...

( he says, mostly to himself as he takes another step further in... )

( at first, he thinks he's hallucinating.

he must be, right? after all, he knows, in theory at least, where spirits here are supposed to go when they die. he knows how the wisteria tree's branches sag with the weight of the blood on all of their hands, and he knows better than to believe his eyes when the exhaustion is — must be catching up with him by now. so when he first sees the pale, translucent ghost of elizabeth on his way to class, he writes it off as that very sleeplessness. saihara, on his way up the stairs to 1-A at lunch the next day, is his guilt. they see through him, continue around him, and it makes it easy for him to do the same.

it's something he can only keep up for so long however, when he checks the compass at his locker after class on the next. the dial spins in a way that it really shouldn't, and hesitates before it points to the dorms instead of the student store, the only place it's been indicating for some time now. amami hesitates too, before he decides to follow it. naturally, his assumption is that this can only mean something bad but, as long as he investigates, he's hopeful that it can be some kind of mundane-bad instead of the kind that's so very prone to happening in this school.

what he doesn't expect, turning the handle to sun two with compass in hand, is that it could be the opposite.

he finds himself greeted with the thin, see-through image of rika kawai when he opens the door, and his common sense begins to give under the weight of his hope, something tender that seeps through the cracks and into his voice. )

... Rika-chan?

( she feels a little like she's been hit by a brick; like she'd suddenly woken up, phantom headache, phantom chest pain, unsure what to do and where to go. for a while, she roams, unseen, but her feet lead her to the place she knows best — the room she'd once shared with amami, passing by students in the halls, some of them seemingly aware of her but most simply ignoring her presence.

and there, she waits. it's surprisingly easy to zone out when you're a ghost; zone out, and hours pass, the sunlight intensifying as noon rolls by, a single-minded want on her mind.

to see him — that's it. after that, she thinks she can disappear in peace, but until then, her form holds, stubborn and patient, turning towards the door as soon as it opens. )

Amiami!! ( and then she snaps out of it, as if enchanted, phantom-body lunging towards him, unsure whether she can touch him or not. will it be fine? is she too cold? will she pass through him as if a gho —

wait. )

( it shouldn't feel as foreign as it does, but her lips part and no sound comes out, and he can't help but feel disappointed. frustrated, really. if there was one thing he would have traded half his hearing for, it would have definitely been the ability to hear rika when she spoke now. the ability to feel anything at all when she closes the distance, and his hands habitually find their way to her waist.

or they would, but he quickly realizes there's nothing solid under their touch. his lips press into a thin line, keeping his expression steady until he can manage something better — a weak, apologetic smile a few moments later. )

Hold on, I'll...

( dig in his pocket to search for something familiar, 'cause he thinks he knows how this works. and when he lifts the adderstone up to his eye, just like that, she becomes real. he can feel the soft fabric of her jacket beneath his fingers, which want so badly to pull the rest of her against him — to feel her warm and solid and breathing in his arms again. it takes every ounce of his willpower to speak instead, still tentative and unsure. )

Is it... really you, Rika-chan?

( please don't work like the gorintos, he's praying. please let him hear her voice again. )

Thanks, I appreciate it.

( and he does, 'cause it really is nice of komaeda to help him out like this. he almost feels kind of bad, actually — maybe he really does feel bad. either way, it doesn't stop him from waiting until komaeda's suitably distracted to make his way up to the closet himself, steps quiet as he closes the distance.

and just like that, the door shuts behind komaeda. he can hear the click of a key turning in the lock, and a sheepish voice through the door. )

Ah, sorry — can you hang on a minute?

( it'll only take a minute, he thinks, 'cause he sorted this all out beforehand. there's a desk just to his side, see, that's perfect for giving him the boost he needs to get into the crawl space. well, if he puts an extra chair on it, it is — he needs to be mindful of his rib after all. it's fine though, doesn't take long before amami's able to remove one of those ceiling tiles in the closet, slowly lowering himself so that he can use the shelf as a step-ladder to get back down onto the floor. )

Yeah, but like, even when you're not tutoring, I feel like I never see you taking a break. If you are taking on too much, I don't want to make it worse by wearing you too thin.

( to tell the truth, it's not like he even cares about his homework or his grades all that much; he just didn't want to do anything to make himself stick out either, and especially not among the transfer students. it just... he feels kind of bad, if he takes that kind of approach with her, especially after what he saw that night. he still feels a little awkward around her, it's true, but his senpai seem to get along well with her, so he doesn't think she can be such a bad person. for that, he thinks that maybe he can try too. )

Um... I guess what I wanna say is, why don't we take a break together, Helena-san ♪

( he's still trying his best as he shifts through everything, pushing away boxes and such in search for the cord that amami needs — those are simple instructions, he's capable of finding that. as he wades through, his claws click together, just a reminder of what he has on him, because he would hear the constant whirring from his old hand — he no longer has the support of hope whispering in his ear, and so it's like add's work now conversations.

click...

though, that wasn't his claws at all, and komaeda immediately stops, leaning back up properly as he looks towards the door. did... did he do something? he turns around fully, walking over to the door to reach out with his organic hand, turning the knob results in the door shaking, but not coming undone. he shakes it again, and his heart skips a beat as he can only see light from the bottom of the door — and when he breathes, it feels tight. maybe that's the arm, he told add too before, that it felt tight. it jingles again, and the constant shuffling isn't in his head (or so he thinks), and he's quick to turning back around, directly at the moment feet hit the ground —

...his back hits against the door with a loud thump, eyes widening for a moment — what's he doing? oh, perhaps this is how he wants to kill him? it calms him for a moment though brief, but his prosthetic scratches against the door, leaving marks behind. )

W- What are you doing? ...Kill me? Is that what you want? If you want... that's fine, ahaha... you can kill me in any place, but... you have the key here, it'd be an easy case...

( oh, right. she's almost forgotten that she's a ghost, and he can probably only see a mirage, like an oasis in the middle of a desert, there and gone. narrowing her eyes when she closes the distance between them, she glances around — the room is different, remodeled, but it still feels the same. the drawer with the remainder of her things should be somewhere here, too, and in there, he could find the glasses...

but she can tell him about it later, when he can actually communicate with her properly. instead, a ghastly figure clings to him, her hands just barely holding on, until he raises the adderstone to his eye and everything becomes so much more sharp, suddenly. )

Who else would it be, dummy?! You wouldn't let another girl into the room, would you? ( sighs dramatically.... whore...

anyway. ) And stop looking at me through this dumb stone! Akki's glasses should still be in my things somewhere... at least wear these, so I don't have to look at dumb rocks the whole time.

( a touching reunion and she's already complaining — )

[ Meng Yao has definitely done his best to ensure that he's getting a good night's rest, or something close to it. The fact of the matter is, however, that he is human.

So in the middle of the night when he needs to take care of bathroom business, he finds himself back in the hallway, half-asleep still, and it takes him longer than it usually does to acknowledge that there's a person there. Luckily, he doesn't bump into Rantarou or anything like that, but he comes to a sudden stop, almost tripping on his own feet still a safe distance away.

He just ensures his hand lands against a wall so he doesn't fall down. Meng Yao also just blinks blearily, and rubs at his eyes...so give him a moment...

Then he'll do a little bit of waving at Amami if his moment earlier doesn't exactly catch his attention. ]

( oh — oh no, he can't help it. the moment the words are out of his mouth she's already after his ass, and more and more, he can feel a grin spreading across his face. it's difficult to complain about being told off when it's something you've missed so much, y'know? so he can't help the laugh bubbles up at her scolding. )

Haha, nope. Don't worry, Rika-chan, you're the only one.

( it's not like there's a lot of girls around to invite, but he wouldn't want to anyway.

though yeah, honestly, he doesn't really want to let go of her to go look. a rock is fine? but it's also inconvenient, so maybe she's right; glasses would give him both hands, so maybe that wouldn't be so bad after all. he looks a bit dissatisfied as he thinks this out, but with a huff, he'll take that free hand of his to clasp it over hers so he can hold it as he makes his way over to the shelf that has her things tucked away. even getting there, he kind of glances reluctantly before he moves to let go, unable to help but feel like if he lets her out of his sight for even a moment, she'll disappear again.

with some shuffling through the little cabinet though, he does wind up finding the glasses, going on ahead to try them on and see if they work with a glance beside him. )

( you ever just... reach the point where reaching up is an ordeal in and of itself.

'cause amami has. not even once, but twice now in yogen alone. probably what he gets for trying to get too ambitious though — reaching up to grab something just a little bit too high, and now he's stuck with his arms loosely wrapped around his chest as he bites back some curses because holy shit does moving the wrong way ever hurt when your rib is fucked up. even just breathing feels like pushing needles into his lungs, though he knows full-well that it should "only" be a fracture.

anyway, he's too busy gritting his teeth as he surrenders to the fact that he does, in fact, need to breathe, to pay all too much attention when someone else winds up in the same room. give him a minute though and he'll notice — forcing himself straight and dropping at least one arm down to shove a hand in his pocket. he's still making a face though. kind of hard not to wince right about now, but it's fine. this is normal. he's doing totally normal and painless right now. )

Hey, Noah. You need something in here?

( please say you happened to need something on the tall shelf you'd probably have to stand on a chair to reach... amami does. )

( it's around five to midnight, and while the study hall itself is lit up, the windows leading out reflect only what's inside with the darkness past them too deep to make anything out with light-adjusted eyes. it's quiet too, almost eerily so. most people, they wouldn't want to be up during silent hours — at its best it tends to be uncomfortable, and it's moderately terrifying at its worst. when it comes down to it, the general consensus seems to be that if you don't have a murder to commit, it's better off getting to bed or somewhere private before the clock hits. not that amami has to worry about anything like that anymore.

so anyway, here he is, sitting backwards in one of the room's chairs so he can face the doorway. with one arm draped over the backrest, he taps absently through his re-acquired phone with a troubled look to him. seriously, it's one thing if he's got pictures of the cat, that's fair, but it feels like a good sixty per cent of the pictures he'd taken before getting here are just up and gone...

well, that's a problem for another time though. when he hears the click of the door opening, his attention snaps back up to shin, interest sparkling in his eyes. good, good — he actually showed. a smile spreads across his face, and he'll lift up the hand with the phone in it to offer a wave, locking the screen once he does. )

Hey there, almost thought you weren't gonna come.

( why is it that she feels relief? she's not here anymore, not technically. she should want him to move on. she should. but, you know, she's still a teenager, dead or not, and scared, always scared of being abandoned and left behind, always terrified of letting go, and death... she wanted it at some point, but not here. after a while of wanting to live — for the first time in your life, no less — death is just about the scariest thing that can happen to you.

she doesn't regret jumping in to protect a friend. she only regrets failing.

waiting for him to put on the glasses, she smiles as he glances down towards her, and wraps her arms around his waist, properly this time, clinging on. she's merely a phantom, cold to the touch, cold everywhere, but he's warm, still, somehow — she closes her eyes and buries her face in his chest, telling herself not to waver but she already is. )

Sorry... ( for dying. for being stupid. for coming back, like a past to haunt you, despite knowing how selfish this must be. ) ... 'm sorry.

[Amami's a tall dude, and when a tall dude can't reach a high-up thing, there's a problem. That's how Noah sees it. He's sorry for watching Amami like a little weirdo from the door for a second, trying to deduce what Amami's trying to get. Then, of course, Amami winces, and Noah can't help but think something's wrong.]

...y-yeah, I was just poking around. [The vaguest possible response.] Are you... are you alright? You're wincing.

( ah, there it goes.

a little quicker than he'd expected, but he's hardly going to turn away when he feels cool arms wrap around him. he'll face her properly, loop his arms around her in turn, and smile as he glances down to her. it's not the same distant-friendly mask that would normally adorn his features, mind you. it's bitter, and sad, and there are a dozen shades of guilt and apology layered in, but there's still an honest warmth underlying it. the sweet comes in fondness, and maybe a little bit amusement despite himself. )

You could've told me you were going, y'know...

( his words are soft, but while his voice is coloured with patience and understanding, it's still an audible admission of defeat.

she's dead, and even now there's nothing he can do to change that — but then again, so is he. in the end, she's still here. she's not gone yet, to some place too far for him to follow, or to somewhere he can't bring her back from. the proof is soft and cool right under the tips of his fingers, and he holds her as tight as he can manage. it's not all that tight, and maybe she can tell his breathing is a little thin as he rests his chin on the top of her head, but it's fine. this is fine. with a soft exhale, he runs his fingers lightly through her hair.

... )

Do you want to come back?

When you say it like that, how could I possibly say no?

[it's true, her "free time" was in specific chunks, her breaks at the mercy of what days might not have tutoring and whether she studied or not. a spontaneous break, with someone else? it really has been a while. and if it makes Aira happy, then she's happy about the whole deal.]

Well... I'm here now, aren't I?

[He's a little on edge, evident in the turn of his head, because the soundless time really is Shin Paranoia Hours although being able to be in a locked room that has someone else there if needed has mitigated that somewhat from the days where it was 'pick a classroom'.

There's also his own returning uncertainty around Rantaro adding into the bargain; the whole 'threw someone out a window'... well, in context it makes more sense but that doesn't mitigate that 'oh yeah, he's dangerous' feeling. Still, he... well Keiji was like that too. It's... not unexpected... As long as he knows what he's dealing with...

He notes Rantaro's phone with a glance and takes out his own to check the time... worryingly close but if they're quick enough...]

We should swap numbers before it starts... just in case.

[Rantaro was weirdly unfamiliar with what they're about to do, so if it doesn't work even with Shin's prior demonstration, it'll be good to be able to text each other. That, and it's useful for the future as well...]

Oh, yeah, gotcha. I'm fine — wasn't being too careful for a minute, and ended up straining that injury from before.

( which he's just going to assume noah can put two and two together here, since he's still got one arm lingering over the spot on his ribs that's causing him such trouble, and he was definitely there when amami got the injury to begin with. speaking of which: )

Thanks again for helping me out back there though. Not sure if I ever said so properly, but seriously, it could've been a lot worse.

( oh wow, sharp reply, huh? amami's smile shifts into something a bit sheepish, but none too bothered by shin's short response. )

C'mon, you know I didn't mean anything by it. It's not a bad thing around here, being cautious.

( and meeting ~~some guy~~ a known murderer in the middle of the night when nobody else can hear you call for help? yeah, amami can see how that kind of thing might make someone tense. he's putting himself in a position that only feels a step or so behind that though, so assuming this goes well, maybe it'll build some a better foundation for something resembling trust. he's not hoping for too much, but—

well, that's getting a little bit ahead of himself, isn't it? for now, he'll rest his chin against the palm of his hand. )

But yeah, I can give you mine. You ready?

( because if he is, amami will list his off, tapping through his own menus to pull up a new contact listing for shin's. )

Kiss of Life

10/20, helena

10/31, silent hours, meng yao

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11/02, komaeda

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11/03, rikachan

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11/04, noah

11/05, shin

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i need you to know i hit reply and was like "why am I logged in as lucifer"

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to put the fear of god into amami

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