i had a dream i got everything i wanted

[mermaidcursed]

WHO: Nene Yashiro and You
WHAT: Catch-All for the month of November
WHEN: November, with some backdated content maybe
WHERE: Dorms, School Building
WARNINGS: Depression, PTSD, Grief Responses

it might have been a nightmare to anyone who might care

monthly catchall for nene yashiro! closed and backdated starters go here
hit me up on plurk or discord if you've got an idea!

Comments

[mermaidcursed]

( it's still hard, just... functioning. she's no longer staying in bed all day but she doesn't always show up in class, sometimes waiting until school is long since out to sit with some of the plants that are still surviving even now. she really should have started this sooner... at least the succulents are thriving still, and the herbs.

and hajime's flytrap, but she's not sure that's a normal flytrap. ... anyways.

komaeda has been... attentive, lately. it's sweet, if not a bit confusing? but she looks up at him, nodding. hajime's been avoiding the gardening club room though. she takes good care of the flytrap anyways.

it's very large. maybe concerningly so.

where komaeda's tallies are hidden, nene's sole tally is out in the open still. but she should tie a ribbon around it, that'd be cute. that's me talking not her thoughts. )

[commences]

( did she ever think about getting a tally erasure to see what it does, what if something neat happens. )

Well, when he told me that, it was... months ago.

( it's nothing recent, but he only remembered it from being here. it's slightly disappointing considering hinata doesn't remember, everything he's done so far is gone, and that means the memories komaeda had with him too. he'll look around the room to find the plant that supposedly belongs to him, and then his eyes fall back to her. )

Hm... That Hinata-kun is no longer with us, but it's not all bad. ( he crosses his arms, looking at nene because he's curious on how she feels. )

Do you know why?

[mermaidcursed]

( if i can figure out how i'd handle the cost maybe but for now i think someone should tie a ribbon around her wrist. bow bracelet. lets go.

last month, nene might deflate at the mention of the hinata who forgot. but some time after her voice left, he finally came back to her, and she could finally accept him without resentment- so she doesn't, instead tapping the pot in front of her idly. at least somewhere, healing's finally begun.

still, he asked a question she can't truly answer, so nene just tilts her head curiously. tell her why, komaeda. )

[commences]

( that's cute maybe the shopkeeper has the cutest little ribbons, who has one on them? )

...People say it's still them, they'll always have the same emotions, the same feelings.

( hinata after his wipe of memory told him that, but also. ) The same memories... but they're yours now.

( komaeda taps his finger on the table, almost like he's trying to figure it out himself. )

It's still him.

[mermaidcursed]

( nene nods, because he's not wrong. hinata was always hinata- but she was hurting and... maybe part of her felt betrayed, or robbed? she's not sure. but he'd promised he'd be there forever, and then...

...

but they have a secret, for just the two of them. and if something happens to their memories again... they have this. but she gets the feeling this isn't just about hinata... komaeda was always far more observant than most thought, after all. and he knows some special truths about her now. after a moment, she taps away on her phone. )

it took a while, but we're talking. i think we both had some hurt we needed to process, and it took longer than anyone expected...

[commences]

( it's easier talking about other people's memories than his own, it's easier to see people feel bad about their loss when it isn't him — he's lost so much when it comes to hinata, but at least the female still has one side, perhaps she was robbed or rather, hinata was robbed, but nothing will ease the pain of what komaeda has to see every time he looks at hinata. he's...

different. )

Hm... was he hurt? I could have never guessed, but when me and Saihara-kun found him, it was more physically than mentally.

( leaning back in his chair, he waits a few seconds to see if she has anything to add to it, he doesn't know what hurt they shared; though, she wouldn't say it if it wasn't true, right? )

You have to be careful with him, Yashiro-san... he cries over anything.

( not like that's a bad thing. ) Ah, at least his tears are genuine.

[mermaidcursed]

some people are the sort where hurting others hurts them as well. especially if they didn't mean to do so.

( hinata forgot nene, and it hurt her. her hurt hurt him as well. it was an echo chamber of pain, some caused by guilt, some by loss and they couldn't get out properly. a smothering of love and misery that they only just broke free of.

sometimes thats just how family is, unfortunately. )

[commences]

Oh, then I have a lot to learn.

( people's pain doesn't resonate with komaeda well, he's more of someone who keeps a smile when others are hurt, but as long as they haven't given up on hope, he's happier. that's why his eyes stare at nene as if trying to figure out why does it hurt when he's still alive, and he guesses that comes from emotional attachments. )

All you can do is be grateful Saihara-kun saved him... if not, we would have lost him.

( he sighs, but that's neither here nor there. ) Talking about lost, Hanako-kun? Will you thank him for me, he was our guide to fixing Ito-kun.

( who hates him. )

[mermaidcursed]

( nene stiffens- if it's the mention of shuichi-kun, or hanako-kun, it's hard to tell. both are painful- she misses them dearly, so dearly. ... one more than the other, but these things pile up. she knows that better than most by now, she thinks. or maybe she's just the weakest one to learn. )

hanako-kun isn't here anymore. he wanted to try investigating this place from another direction, so he asked me to reverse the ritual that summoned him.

( she hasn't admitted it to anyone else, yet. )

[commences]

He did what...?

( a ritual? ... for what purpose? komaeda looks at the other, and he crosses his arms on the table as he stares her way. )

...He didn't do much or care about others, so... it had to be about you, but why did he ask for that specifically? Mmm... Yashiro-san?

( it comes out more, "are you okay...?" )

[mermaidcursed]

i was the only one who could have done it, since i was the one who summoned him. he wanted to see if he could find another way in and out, but he couldn't do that properly here.

( simple as that. at least she got to say goodbye for once. at least she got to say she loved him. not everyone is so lucky, and not everyone gets those chances. especially here. nene looks at her lap for a moment, before smiling up at komaeda. maybe it's a little bittersweet, but... she got her final piece. )

i'll be okay. i miss him, but i have faith in him too.