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DECEMBER EVENT/TDM
bulletin board updates
✽ There are several new points of interest at the bulletin board this month, most prominently a wooden box with the slit on the top just large enough to drop a sheet of paper inside. Above is an explanation of Secret Santa and a form to fill out for those interested in participating to write down their name, homeroom, and locker number. Sign-ups close on 12/5, and following assignments, gifts may be given in person or through one of the student council members if anonymous gifting is preferred (contact the mod to hire a stuco elf).
✽ Right next to this box is a poster with a large orange giraffe painted on it. The contents of the poster has nothing to do with giraffes, but rather, is an advertisement for student store commissions featuring quality work with quick turnarounds and a special discount for the month of December if you buy five or more commissions, or bring the shopkeep a warm drink and maybe a snack while they're working.
✽ To the side of the class roster and current ranks is a digital countdown, and scrawled on the bulletin board itself is the message "You're almost there! You can do it! One more push!" but it's unclear whether this message refers to the countdown to the new year, or to the long glass tube situated along the edge of the bulletin board next to it. Maybe both. The tube looks similar to a graduated cylinder, holding a total volume of 5000 ml and currently containing 4850 ml of dark red (presumably) blood, hot to the touch. It can not be broken or removed. The mod will be in contact if any character action this month causes the volume to change.
✽ A neatly typed notice, half buried under all the other announcements, contains a reminder that tuition will be due soon for those students continuing to study at Yogen. If tuition is not paid in full by the end of February, "compensation" will be taken instead.
✽ And finally, there is a notice from the student council that proof of club activity is once again due for submission to the student council by 12/24, otherwise the club will be dissolved and resources taken back. Please submit activity proof to the toplevel below.
✽ Right next to this box is a poster with a large orange giraffe painted on it. The contents of the poster has nothing to do with giraffes, but rather, is an advertisement for student store commissions featuring quality work with quick turnarounds and a special discount for the month of December if you buy five or more commissions, or bring the shopkeep a warm drink and maybe a snack while they're working.
✽ To the side of the class roster and current ranks is a digital countdown, and scrawled on the bulletin board itself is the message "You're almost there! You can do it! One more push!" but it's unclear whether this message refers to the countdown to the new year, or to the long glass tube situated along the edge of the bulletin board next to it. Maybe both. The tube looks similar to a graduated cylinder, holding a total volume of 5000 ml and currently containing 4850 ml of dark red (presumably) blood, hot to the touch. It can not be broken or removed. The mod will be in contact if any character action this month causes the volume to change.
✽ A neatly typed notice, half buried under all the other announcements, contains a reminder that tuition will be due soon for those students continuing to study at Yogen. If tuition is not paid in full by the end of February, "compensation" will be taken instead.
✽ And finally, there is a notice from the student council that proof of club activity is once again due for submission to the student council by 12/24, otherwise the club will be dissolved and resources taken back. Please submit activity proof to the toplevel below.
12/20 - 12/24 finals week
✽ The week before winter break is finals, with many students cramming as many math formulas and foreign country leaders into their heads as possible without it all spilling over, while other students have decided to chance the practicum instead. Those who have signed up for the practicum are asked to meet inside the auditorium after homeroom at the start of the day while test takers begin their written exams. Students are allowed to change their minds on which to take, up until the end of homeroom on Monday, after the bell rings and the doors close.
✽ For the test takers, finals last for five days, from 8AM until noon each day, after which students are allowed to go home, or have lunch and continue studying in their homerooms or in the library. At the end of finals on Friday, students are asked to remain in their homerooms over lunch break while their exams finish being graded, after which homeroom teachers will return and ask certain students to go with them to the faculty office. These are the failing students. Which the homeroom teachers themselves have the pleasure of executing for their failures. All other students are dismissed and wished a happy winter break.
✽ For those opting for the practicum, finals last for two days, from 8AM until noon on Monday and Tuesday. All students from all grades meet in the auditorium the first day and are told the very simple rules for this semester's practicum: in order to raise your failing grade, all you have to do is kill another student, upon which you take their points for yourself. At the start of both days, students first gather in the auditorium for a headcount and then are given a half hour no-killing grace period during which they are allowed to scatter and find the best sniping/ambushing/hiding spots. The hunt is limited to four hours each day and kills must be done on campus; any kills done outside of these parameters are just for fun and do not count towards their final grade. Points are given for kills involving students in the same grade level of different homerooms (e.g. third years only benefit from killing other third years) and points are revoked for kills involving other grade levels or test takers not participating in the practicum. They studied hard, leave them alone. Most students need only one or two kills to pass, but multiple kills stack and earn them extra credit that will carry over to the next semester. Students who end the second day with a still failing grade will be called to the faculty office. ... All remaining students are dismissed and wished a happy (early!) winter break.
✽ A winter storm starts to whip up around noon on the 24th, raging through the night before settling down come morning, blanketing the entire campus with several feet of snow.
✽ For the test takers, finals last for five days, from 8AM until noon each day, after which students are allowed to go home, or have lunch and continue studying in their homerooms or in the library. At the end of finals on Friday, students are asked to remain in their homerooms over lunch break while their exams finish being graded, after which homeroom teachers will return and ask certain students to go with them to the faculty office. These are the failing students. Which the homeroom teachers themselves have the pleasure of executing for their failures. All other students are dismissed and wished a happy winter break.
✽ For those opting for the practicum, finals last for two days, from 8AM until noon on Monday and Tuesday. All students from all grades meet in the auditorium the first day and are told the very simple rules for this semester's practicum: in order to raise your failing grade, all you have to do is kill another student, upon which you take their points for yourself. At the start of both days, students first gather in the auditorium for a headcount and then are given a half hour no-killing grace period during which they are allowed to scatter and find the best sniping/ambushing/hiding spots. The hunt is limited to four hours each day and kills must be done on campus; any kills done outside of these parameters are just for fun and do not count towards their final grade. Points are given for kills involving students in the same grade level of different homerooms (e.g. third years only benefit from killing other third years) and points are revoked for kills involving other grade levels or test takers not participating in the practicum. They studied hard, leave them alone. Most students need only one or two kills to pass, but multiple kills stack and earn them extra credit that will carry over to the next semester. Students who end the second day with a still failing grade will be called to the faculty office. ... All remaining students are dismissed and wished a happy (early!) winter break.
✽ A winter storm starts to whip up around noon on the 24th, raging through the night before settling down come morning, blanketing the entire campus with several feet of snow.
OOC
✽ PC faculty still have finals: they will either take written exams excluding that of their own subject, or they can take the practicum. Players with faculty characters are asked to reply to the toplevel below to indicate the number of failed students per class, but characters do NOT have to ICly be responsible for killing failed students. Unless they're cool with that, and if so, please let me know.
✽ This is a reminder that for any character that murders (again, please let me know), they will experience the same pain the following night and lose powers/abilities for one week. Two weeks after the murder, +1 tally and +100 merit points will be awarded for each kill.
✽ The void in the auditorium continues to grow, and (pending character interaction) by the end of the month will encompass the entire right wing of all floors, including the locker area but not the rooftop. Please mind the void, murderers.
✽ This is a reminder that for any character that murders (again, please let me know), they will experience the same pain the following night and lose powers/abilities for one week. Two weeks after the murder, +1 tally and +100 merit points will be awarded for each kill.
✽ The void in the auditorium continues to grow, and (pending character interaction) by the end of the month will encompass the entire right wing of all floors, including the locker area but not the rooftop. Please mind the void, murderers.
no subject
Hmmm? Oh, that just meant you had to treat 'em like they were important. Practice hospitality and all that. Y'know, be a good babysitter!
[ Ah, just remembering it sickens him. If only a few of them had died on his floor, or even just one, he might feel better about the entire affair. With his code modified, Rio did feel less of that consistent nagging, and yet he remembers that burning jealousy and hatred as clearly as anything else... No, he still feels the same way. He hates how important they were, how loved they were, so unlike him.
Flip, and it's to the ice cream cone, just for fun. What did long term irritation mean for him? He's not sure. He can't describe it any more than he can happiness or sadness, and none of the cartoonish faces drawn on his cards expressed anything that a person would truly feel. ]
Hmm... It felt like breathing. It seems to have dampened since my code was modified - ah, I guess my negative values were set pretty high - but I dunno that I could describe it as anything much.
[ His voice raises a bit, sliding into the dramatic tones that he uses to hide his lack of emotions - this feels more comfortable than the even, leveled voice he'd been using. Even now, it's as natural and normal as breathing. Of course, he doesn't need breath, and so he doesn't need those emotions either. When they're gone, he feels nothing at all. But sometimes that's better, because sometimes he just feels calm in a way that he couldn't before, and those moments are pleasant for him. ]
no subject
( in a way, he could say that monomi was meant to give then love, and they find love from one a other, but they ran her off at any moment that they could. it's hard to deal with stuffed animal-like creatures that could be working with the threat, and it's not even entirely that, komaeda just didn't enjoy the small annoyances.
anyway, he'll leave it at that they didn't have anyone to play they role. )
We lived on an island where we had to get along, and avoid dying.
( he notices the icecream cone, and that adds more to his blank expression than anything else. that one can be more terrifying than others, faking sadness and happiness is one thing, but that one could give off a very indescribable feeling. )
You would have taken care of me too, if I was a part of your game by treating me with love?
( that would have resulted in komaeda telling them off, too. it's a nasty little habit that he doesn't need from others, and the childish games are enough to worsen his mood, ah, he's never really been excited for them unless he's planned them in advance. this isn't about him though, and yet he's curious about this one. though his game was kinder, he's almost disappointed they didn't have anything like that, but... they could have, he's sure, murder was easier than doing nothing, and maybe because it was rooted deep into their way of life anyway.
it didn't take long before i realized it. i understood when i saw my coworker on the floor with his eyes ripped out. i understood it when i saw my boss with his intestines in his hands. i realized that this is pure insanity. but even though i know this, i still can't convince myself that this is real. in only 1 day. you'd think the world................
komaeda blinks, remembering a small note, and laughs a little after. )
Your emotions would have been perfect if he hadn't done what he did... ( hm. ) The type of creation you'd be would have changed the world.
( missed chances, it's like having a child, breaking their limbs immediately because one believes that since their bones aren't completely molded that they'll fix along the way, but they're crippled from day one. that type of analogy doesn't work properly, but he did worsen his child, how if donr correctly could have been a beacon for those out of touch with their emotions, give them a creation that could help, feelings are important when it comes to shaping the world, when it comes to...
he lifts his other hand to scratch the back of his head. )
I have an idea, I'll doodle a few, and you tell me what matched that feeling... Like breathing will be tough, but I'm up to the task. Hm, what's breathing like now, for you?
no subject
Ranger was just another piece that was created for that purpose. Then again, perhaps not. Komaeda's right that it would have been an event that would have changed everything if done properly. There's a part of him that suspects that it may have caused a rift between the three. Miley isn't a person who takes her work lightly, but nor is she one who allows others to stick their fingers in and muddy it up. As it is, his existence was nothing more than a waste. ]
Probably. It would've been the greatest achievement of the modern day and opened the door for even greater things.
[ There's no point in denying it. He switches to the open mouthed grin. ]
Safalin would have. She took care of medical care and other miscellaneous tasks. It's just to make sure you bastards don't randomly keel over before you can die in one of the games. Participants were able to put a little bit of trust in her since I was around... [ The cat face. ] Well, she would've executed all of them without blinking, so it was pretty stupid of 'em.
[ Ranger thinks his own role in that partnership should be fairly obvious, being that he was always intended to fill the gaps, and so he doesn't feel the need to get into that. He was the half of the equation that garnered all of their resentment, and he doesn't regret that. As for how I feel now, hmm...
It's back to the ice cream cone for the last part, the only one that he's yet still uncertain on. He already promised to breathe the same breath as his partner, and he's not sure what that looks like. He's not even sure what his own should be. It's the same, and yet it's different. Emptier, but fuller, because all that had been filling him was painful thought after painful thought. ]
... I haven't decided on that yet.
no subject
( what would the world have been like then, opening the door to an ai that had emotions just like a human's? terrifying, to some. and the world's chance to advance to others, it'd give hope that the future would revolve around great things, and every hand that went into building rio's concept would have been part of that hope. yet, hope doesn't exist in the majority game, but what of outside of it, had it not been just that? it's a shame when someone learns they could have been everything, the game changer for what they've known, and now they're just a piece of the puzzle thrown away because they no longer fit. )
I'm not asking about Safalin-san, but you two worked together so there's no doubt I wouldn't have ran into her. Hm... I would have been ( quickly searching for a nice word, ) grateful about her because you took majority of their anger, you must have thick skin for that.
( it would have been easy enough to see that's how they work, if one had a nasty attitude, and the other was a bit nicer. if the kind one cared enough, they wouldn't have let you get into that situation to begin with, hence why their own teacher was frowned upon as time went on. nothing made sense. )
If she had done it, then you'd have no reason to do your job, and then you could have done anything with your life. Hm...
( being able to tune away afterwards must sound nice, if only that was the case, but their backs were always against a corner because no one else could stab them if that was the case. )
Haha... then that's fine, there's no rush. Your breaths aren't limited, and they can change at any time. You should find a rhythm that's familiar to you, and live with it. Then you can have a descriptor! Exciting, right?
no subject
Yeah. You're right.
[ He thinks to let go of Komaeda's comments about Safalin, but he finds that it bothers him. As he noted, he would have encountered her at some point. It's more than that, though. Her role in the game defined Rio more than his own did, because if not for her then Rio wouldn't have been nearly as effective. After the damage that Miley did, he wonders if they might not have started to become numb by dealing with him alone. It would have been boring.
No matter how awful, wretched, and disgusting she had been, despite the fact that she had carved out the single eye that he could see out of and led him around blind, Safalin was his partner through and through. ]
You would have thought of her, [ He explains, flipping back to the grin, ] Because she would have been the one taking care of you. You get me? It's exactly like you said. You'd spend your time thinking, "ah, if you weren't here, I think we could get along!" I was just the one running the show, so you wouldn't really be dealing with me. I just don't have that personal touch, ahaha~
[ In other words, his only role was to antagonize and do the dirty work while Safalin healed and mended and bonded. ]
I would've been happier just being able to support 'em outside of it, didn't really need the Floormaster gig, but... [ He shrugs. ] Doesn't matter to me what people think.
[ Was that because of his limited emotional spectrum? No, because rejection hurt him more than anyone. Being treated as inhuman hurt him so much more than it ever could have if he had that capacity for something more. No, it's because... ]
The only reason they liked Safalin is 'cause they thought they could understand her. But you know, not one of them ever tried to understand her. I don't need people who don't wanna see the truth in front of 'em.
[ But Komaeda already understands, right? No matter how kind she acts, no matter how much she cries, Safalin is just as much of a monster as the rest of them. He laughs lightly, wondering if his partner realizes just how much of him is baked into his interactions with her now. How could anyone ask about Rio Ranger without asking about Tia Safalin...? It would be like asking how the moon shines light while rejecting the existence of the sun. ]
They were just seeing what they wanted to see.
[ It's the same with a lot of people here, but... Even so, he's not eager to break those bonds that he's made. ]
no subject
( komaeda's picky, and with people he's also picky, but say if his group were the ones that were there, and no one participants that were already chosen. they had their personal nurse, and komaeda would have trusted her more than safalin as that goes. yet, he understands that she's an important role with rio, and she catered to him, like he catered to her, they complimented each other's personalities, and that way one was more inviting while the other must have been who they hated. there was a reason he's the way he is, and the reason she acted how she did — they were their floormasters, they weren't their friends, so they weren't meant to be trusted. )
I understand you and Safalin-san, but in the end, I don't think I would have cared for either of you at that moment.
( had they met komaeda when he was younger, he's really stuck in his ways, he could have hated them for their methods, he would have acted on his own, but also wanted everything to come together. killing is fine, it's horrible that they have a murderer that would kill them...! he would have been disappointed at the extents of their hope if they gave up and accepted what was at face value, if they don't pick apart the paint to see what's hidden behind that beautiful painting, they'll never know what they're truly looking at.
it's like an optical illusion some days. )
If someone did understand her, would you have gotten upset? To be with her, to know that no one could understand her, that's because you did in some way, right?
( he smiles softly as he speaks, swinging their hands slowly, but it hurts his stomach that he stops right after with a shaky breath. komaeda was too ambitious, and a hand lifts to his stomach as he tries to cover the area with his organic one. )
...That said, that would have worked with the group I had, though, they didn't want to believe what was happening. I took it pretty well, but in a normal reality, things such as killing games don't exist. ...I'd never live a normal, and boring life, it sounds pathetic, and I'd rather die to avoid such a horrible happenstance to happen to me. ( wheeze. ) Anyway, if you take students from a school, and throw them into a killing game, and give them a timer... ( he's sure that rio gets the idea, but komaeda will continue because it's fun to talk about, even though he's back in the same position ) ...they'd do anything, but having guides, ( he hums, if he had islandmasters, he guesses... that wouldd have been interesting, ) we had Headmasters, ( breathing in, ) but there was rules with them too. If we attacked one, the penalty was death, so I thought getting familiar with the Mastermindd would have been best. ( a wheeze here ) Yes, I would have played your games just to get close, but I don't really kiss ass, so you would have seen through me... but there's nothing wrong with rejecting my proposals as long as I played your game properly.
no subject
There's a lot, but he doesn't immediately respond. He'll get to that, but the way he's wheezing and grasping at his injury seems to be a more pressing concern a the moment. That neither sounds nor looks very good. ]
... Do you need a minute?
[ They can stop until he's recovered. ]
no subject
( that's how he breathes, given the fact he also spoke too much when getting excited. that was a mistake on his part, one he's going to have to suffer with while here. he shouldn't have allowed rio to be that close to him, and now the area is sensitive from the lift of his shirt and exposure to the cold air here. there's no need to blame his partner though, resourceful as ever, he just wanted to know what he had to do, and how he could help. )
Wouldn't it be disappointing if something so miniscule is why I needed a minute, but time doesn't matter here.
( he can't live forever, and so he takes a step forward. ) So... there's no need to stop for me.
no subject
I don't mind. We have time.
[ But he can't force it either way. He frowns a little behind the card. ]
You shouldn't push yourself.
no subject
( the closer they are to a bathroom, the quicker they can go back to the world as they know it, or however yogen presents itself. that, along with he's very excited to play on shards of glass despite how dangerous they would be to him. he doesn't mind cutting his fingers to make the piece, because it's best used for him just in case.
komaeda turns down the hall where the bathroom should be, it's a short distance away if they keep moving. rio's worries go ignored since he doesn't find it an issue, and he thinks he can soothe him by this method. )
Let's go this way, and I'll bring a mirror for us!
( there's a soft smile as he says so, moving along without taking a short break. )
no subject
Yeah, okay. Let's go.
no subject
those in the medical field are well received, while being much vaunted by their patients and peers, or that's how it should be. some doctors are nasty into thinking they're better than others, but only the best of the best has that right to say so. allow an ultimate to have a title that convers numerous parts of the confession, then... they're true to what they say, and even komaeda would know not to deny that claim. )
Okay!
( he's enthusiastic too, hopping in his step, feeling a small bit of pain, and then going back to walk normal. his free hand settles over the area for a moment, masochist tendencies to push at it, then he exhales right after. if it hurts, then he'll move, he'll keep going until they come to the bathrooms, and he looks back and forth between male and then female. it's like this is a special event having to choose which one he wants now, but he turns to walk into the female's bathroom since it's on his side.
his fingers curl into a fist by the time he notices the first mirror, and he lifts his hand to press his balled hand against it, preparing the swing that he'd need to break it. if rio wants, he has about ten seconds if he wants komaeda to not do anything. )
no subject
It's a little funny, he thinks, how alike they are despite being so different.
The female's bathroom it is, and he'll take Komaeda's wrist when that hand raises. It's not a harsh grip, but it's firm enough. Rio is quick and efficient, and not inclined to so much as offer enough time for it to register before he's leaned forward slightly and slammed the back of his hand into the mirror. The awkward angle that he used to avoid dropping his cards or otherwise smacking them against it and the force used to ensure that a second hit wouldn't be needed make for a poor combination, but that's the price one pays for being quick and efficient. ]
no subject
komaeda blinks slow, and there's a numb sensation of digging into his hand that tingles, and his stomach feels a small phantom pain, but it'll disappear soon enough after a few hours. )
Hm...
( he'll roll onto the bed properly, looking at the other until his prosthetic lifts wanting the hand that rio had broke the mirror with. )
Give me your hand.
no subject
The sudden request catches him off guard. He blinks behind the ice cream cone now, but it only takes him a moment to process it. He takes Komaeda's prosthetic had as requested. ]
no subject
Do you feel those pains from there? They're faint, but...
( maybe his touch will last, or maybe it won't at all. who knows, he's only helping until he starts to sit up properly with a slow, but easy exhale. )
Now... You want an emotion that expresses anger... hm, my locker first, and then the art room.
no subject
Kinda. I don't really experience pain the way that a human does, though, since I'm not damaged in the same way.
[ It's not quite just for show, alike the fact that he might mimic sweating when nervous, or how he might shiver in the cold if he so chooses despite not being bothered by it. It serves the same purpose as for a human, to warn of danger, as much as it is to make the illusion of a human complete. It doesn't cloud his mind, and it tends to pass relatively quickly when compared to a human. ]
Here, lemme patch up your hand first. It's gonna bother me all day if I don't.
[ He can't stand leaving things like that alone. ]
no subject
( it'll bother him, but it's just a cut, it's part of the ordeal that they go through to pass through one world, and then to return to the previous. rather than offering his hand to rio, he keeps it against the bed, eyes glancing down to his hand, and curling his fingers so that his nails dig into the wound. it's a decision he made on his own, which means rio doesn't have to clean up his mess at all. it's because of how he looks, and the type of person he is, and so he might think the simplest cuts will probably kill him or something. there's also the idea that leaving it unattended does nothing, and so there's no reason not to patch it up. )
Riokun, you're worried about the wrong things. It's just a flesh wound, fresh air's good for it.
( like all other wounds, these will heal all on their end. )
no subject
It's the opposite. It needs moisture to heal, so you clean it, then apply a antibiotic ointment before sealing it in to promote healing. If you leave it airing out, then you're just giving more opportunity for infection to set in.
[ It only takes a few seconds for him to collect what he needs, and he's going to come back and reach for that hand regardless. ]
You cut yourself open so we could go, so since we're back I can patch you up. [ Because they're partners who should support each other, but - ] If you wanna think of it as indulging me, you can, 'cause I can't help that I learned from a doctor.
[ There was his database too, of course, but no doubt this meticulous nature was from Safalin. She was a fussy, emotional person, and a healer through and through. He blows out a sigh. ]
I'm gonna have to pick up the slack because her dumb ass isn't here too.
no subject
( they're partners, they're supposed to be as close as they can be because of that title, but komaeda has his moments where he puts a wall between them. he's not used to being doted over, and if he is, it's to make sure that he's not up to something the group feels as if they'll regret. tsumiki is one person he could see this from given her talent, but rio doesn't have to do this at all.
when komaeda made that offer, he was thinking of him helping others. )
Ahaha, you miss her, don't you?
( it's not hard to see it from the way he talks, how he still depends on her, and how he has to pick up the slack because she isn't here. there's this warm feeling that comes from komaeda as he smiles, eyes closing as he offers his hand finally.
he'll respond in kind now. )
no subject
I can decide how I view you, and how I wanna treat you. You seem human enough to me.
[ He can't stop Komaeda from speaking of himself that way, but he can refuse it. Besides, Rio Ranger was the one who was tossed in the garbage in the end.
He keeps that thought to himself as he takes his hand, going over it with alcohol and then a triple antibiotic ointment, then applying a gauze pad before wrapping it up. He's quiet as he does so, considering that, before answering in an uncertain tone, ]
... Maybe. I guess.
[ He wants her here, and he wants to go back, and he's scared of her being here and of going back. He wants to know what she did, but he's not brave enough to ask. He wants to shake the final parts of her as much as he wants to cling to them.
It's all he has to look back on.
... ]
no subject
( to think fondly on those memories, to want them back, to be selfish to the point of wanting to see them again, komaeda has found his answer. their second meeting made everything, and he had heard rio joke about if safalin ever came here, that he should kill her first if anything, but maybe what he was more honest about was being broken together. if safalin appeared, and rio decided to go back to her once he was sure, then that would be fine with komaeda. )
Writing my narration on you, it may seem wrong, but... maybe she'll appear one day.
( then what? it might be terrifying, and he may be happy by the time his emotions are properly written in. whatever he feels, as long as he feels something for her then that means there's still a connection. she was important piece to his puzzle, and komaeda can't completely fill in that role — sometimes his edges don't fit perfectly, and some things he say aren't as weak as how safalin would give them. he can't heal, he doesn't have hands that can mend for an ai, he has nothing that made safalin, well, safalin. )
So I won't kill her immediately, then you can have closure, okay?
( when he finishes, komaeda hands his hand back that burns from the alcohol and ointment, but he stands up with a dumb little grin. )
no subject
[ Closure, huh... Maybe it would be nice to have that. They were partners, after all. Rio brushes his hair out of his face only for it to fall right back into place. He doesn't seem satisfied with that, though, and it's clear that something else is bothering him.
He takes Komaeda's hand, giving him a gentle tug. There's no sense in staying here, but he keeps muddling about it. ]
It's not really that, though.
[ If it were just missing her, and if it were just wanting her here, that would be one thing. It's not, though, and it's difficult to place exactly what it is. Perhaps it's because it's complicated that it bothers him, because when he came here it seemed as though it were the most natural thing in the world. There's a thoughtful little sound as he tries to piece it together, but eventually he manages to cobble together some semblance of an explanation. It's not quite right, but it's as close as he can get. ]
I still want to go back, because ASUNARO gave me something that I can't get here, but it comes at the expense of everything else.
[ It gave him a clear purpose, and for that reason alone no matter how much he sheds and detaches it, there's a part of him that longs to have that simple life back. But it would mean tearing up the small little life that he's build, and so he doesn't want to. It's comparing just a few short months to the rest of his short life. That feeling extends to the other Floormasters, and as such he adds, ]
So I don't really want to.
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( he swings their arms as soon as they walk together, leaving from the nurse's office as they proceed to walk down the hall, it feels cold here, or maybe he's trying to articulate as best as he can. asunaro was all rio knew, that's a fact, there's nothing wrong with that fact, or how he wants to return to it. this is an entirely new life to him, a whole different development plan that he's making himself, and one that wasn't proposed to him by his creators. asunaro's vines have encased him, wrapped around his legs, but he could adjust, he could thrive because he's a hybrid made by their means. )
Riokun, have you heard about the fox?
( it's as what he says, there's that same characteristically fitting smile on komaeda's face as they walk along, and he bumps against rio from time to time as he does so. the fox that knew everything, the one that had all the knowledge in the world, that fox — he wonders if they know the same fox, or if their foxes differ? they have so much to to learn from one another and to teach, but rio might find this comparison common.
aside from that, it's one he should think about when he can. the world is their garden, after all. )
Maybe that garden wasn't even weeds, but their growth rate was different from yours... but you ate off the feed they gave you, you all ate in harmony... but you were moved, given new fertilizer, and now... it tastes nice, but... wants and needs are different. What do you think you need?
( maybe questions, but a fox and plant? maybe it'll come down to something. )
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Rio wonders if that's really true. He was no different than the rest of them, not really, and so if they were parasitic than he must be as well. No flowers prosper from such rotten roots, and so any creation of theirs should be no different. He looks down to their intertwined hands, neither one organic, and then back up to his face before turning his head forward once more.
But if he was just being choked out by weeds, then did that mean he could? There's something frightening about that idea. He's not human, and he never will be, no matter how infinitely close he is to being one. He'll always be a product of ASUNARO, no matter how much time passes, and those three who put their every effort into who he is before so quickly tossing aside all of that work. But in the end, it only made sense, since they had no need for failures.
There's a quiet, thoughtful sound as he searches for an answer that makes sense to him. ]
Well, I've been online for a little over three years.
[ Which, suffice to say, isn't quite the same as being three years old due to the nature of his existence. But he has three years of functional memories, and three years of experience, all tied to a single place and a single group of people. It's a short enough period of time that just three months is already close to a tenth of it. Within a year, he would have been with the people here for a quarter of his life. ]
Time should be enough. It's a little different than how it works for a human, I'm sure, but it's the same basic idea. The more people you meet, and the more that you experience, the less you depend on the past.
[ He blinks slowly. ]
I chose you to be my partner. I don't feel conflicted about that.
[ There's a note of caution to those words, as though he's uncertain that it's proper to say such a thing. He needs Komaeda for that reason, but it's a different kind of need, one that he can't articulate. Komaeda might have been the one who planted that seed, but such things were easy enough to dig out and choke out and simply die of neglect. Instead, it had grown into this. He's not a replacement for Safalin, and they can't understand each other in the same way, but it had been something he chosen for himself.
When he looks back at it, whether or not it had been a flippant decision, it had probably been the first one that he'd made for himself. ]
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