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DECEMBER EVENT/TDM
bulletin board updates
✽ There are several new points of interest at the bulletin board this month, most prominently a wooden box with the slit on the top just large enough to drop a sheet of paper inside. Above is an explanation of Secret Santa and a form to fill out for those interested in participating to write down their name, homeroom, and locker number. Sign-ups close on 12/5, and following assignments, gifts may be given in person or through one of the student council members if anonymous gifting is preferred (contact the mod to hire a stuco elf).
✽ Right next to this box is a poster with a large orange giraffe painted on it. The contents of the poster has nothing to do with giraffes, but rather, is an advertisement for student store commissions featuring quality work with quick turnarounds and a special discount for the month of December if you buy five or more commissions, or bring the shopkeep a warm drink and maybe a snack while they're working.
✽ To the side of the class roster and current ranks is a digital countdown, and scrawled on the bulletin board itself is the message "You're almost there! You can do it! One more push!" but it's unclear whether this message refers to the countdown to the new year, or to the long glass tube situated along the edge of the bulletin board next to it. Maybe both. The tube looks similar to a graduated cylinder, holding a total volume of 5000 ml and currently containing 4850 ml of dark red (presumably) blood, hot to the touch. It can not be broken or removed. The mod will be in contact if any character action this month causes the volume to change.
✽ A neatly typed notice, half buried under all the other announcements, contains a reminder that tuition will be due soon for those students continuing to study at Yogen. If tuition is not paid in full by the end of February, "compensation" will be taken instead.
✽ And finally, there is a notice from the student council that proof of club activity is once again due for submission to the student council by 12/24, otherwise the club will be dissolved and resources taken back. Please submit activity proof to the toplevel below.
✽ Right next to this box is a poster with a large orange giraffe painted on it. The contents of the poster has nothing to do with giraffes, but rather, is an advertisement for student store commissions featuring quality work with quick turnarounds and a special discount for the month of December if you buy five or more commissions, or bring the shopkeep a warm drink and maybe a snack while they're working.
✽ To the side of the class roster and current ranks is a digital countdown, and scrawled on the bulletin board itself is the message "You're almost there! You can do it! One more push!" but it's unclear whether this message refers to the countdown to the new year, or to the long glass tube situated along the edge of the bulletin board next to it. Maybe both. The tube looks similar to a graduated cylinder, holding a total volume of 5000 ml and currently containing 4850 ml of dark red (presumably) blood, hot to the touch. It can not be broken or removed. The mod will be in contact if any character action this month causes the volume to change.
✽ A neatly typed notice, half buried under all the other announcements, contains a reminder that tuition will be due soon for those students continuing to study at Yogen. If tuition is not paid in full by the end of February, "compensation" will be taken instead.
✽ And finally, there is a notice from the student council that proof of club activity is once again due for submission to the student council by 12/24, otherwise the club will be dissolved and resources taken back. Please submit activity proof to the toplevel below.
12/20 - 12/24 finals week
✽ The week before winter break is finals, with many students cramming as many math formulas and foreign country leaders into their heads as possible without it all spilling over, while other students have decided to chance the practicum instead. Those who have signed up for the practicum are asked to meet inside the auditorium after homeroom at the start of the day while test takers begin their written exams. Students are allowed to change their minds on which to take, up until the end of homeroom on Monday, after the bell rings and the doors close.
✽ For the test takers, finals last for five days, from 8AM until noon each day, after which students are allowed to go home, or have lunch and continue studying in their homerooms or in the library. At the end of finals on Friday, students are asked to remain in their homerooms over lunch break while their exams finish being graded, after which homeroom teachers will return and ask certain students to go with them to the faculty office. These are the failing students. Which the homeroom teachers themselves have the pleasure of executing for their failures. All other students are dismissed and wished a happy winter break.
✽ For those opting for the practicum, finals last for two days, from 8AM until noon on Monday and Tuesday. All students from all grades meet in the auditorium the first day and are told the very simple rules for this semester's practicum: in order to raise your failing grade, all you have to do is kill another student, upon which you take their points for yourself. At the start of both days, students first gather in the auditorium for a headcount and then are given a half hour no-killing grace period during which they are allowed to scatter and find the best sniping/ambushing/hiding spots. The hunt is limited to four hours each day and kills must be done on campus; any kills done outside of these parameters are just for fun and do not count towards their final grade. Points are given for kills involving students in the same grade level of different homerooms (e.g. third years only benefit from killing other third years) and points are revoked for kills involving other grade levels or test takers not participating in the practicum. They studied hard, leave them alone. Most students need only one or two kills to pass, but multiple kills stack and earn them extra credit that will carry over to the next semester. Students who end the second day with a still failing grade will be called to the faculty office. ... All remaining students are dismissed and wished a happy (early!) winter break.
✽ A winter storm starts to whip up around noon on the 24th, raging through the night before settling down come morning, blanketing the entire campus with several feet of snow.
✽ For the test takers, finals last for five days, from 8AM until noon each day, after which students are allowed to go home, or have lunch and continue studying in their homerooms or in the library. At the end of finals on Friday, students are asked to remain in their homerooms over lunch break while their exams finish being graded, after which homeroom teachers will return and ask certain students to go with them to the faculty office. These are the failing students. Which the homeroom teachers themselves have the pleasure of executing for their failures. All other students are dismissed and wished a happy winter break.
✽ For those opting for the practicum, finals last for two days, from 8AM until noon on Monday and Tuesday. All students from all grades meet in the auditorium the first day and are told the very simple rules for this semester's practicum: in order to raise your failing grade, all you have to do is kill another student, upon which you take their points for yourself. At the start of both days, students first gather in the auditorium for a headcount and then are given a half hour no-killing grace period during which they are allowed to scatter and find the best sniping/ambushing/hiding spots. The hunt is limited to four hours each day and kills must be done on campus; any kills done outside of these parameters are just for fun and do not count towards their final grade. Points are given for kills involving students in the same grade level of different homerooms (e.g. third years only benefit from killing other third years) and points are revoked for kills involving other grade levels or test takers not participating in the practicum. They studied hard, leave them alone. Most students need only one or two kills to pass, but multiple kills stack and earn them extra credit that will carry over to the next semester. Students who end the second day with a still failing grade will be called to the faculty office. ... All remaining students are dismissed and wished a happy (early!) winter break.
✽ A winter storm starts to whip up around noon on the 24th, raging through the night before settling down come morning, blanketing the entire campus with several feet of snow.
OOC
✽ PC faculty still have finals: they will either take written exams excluding that of their own subject, or they can take the practicum. Players with faculty characters are asked to reply to the toplevel below to indicate the number of failed students per class, but characters do NOT have to ICly be responsible for killing failed students. Unless they're cool with that, and if so, please let me know.
✽ This is a reminder that for any character that murders (again, please let me know), they will experience the same pain the following night and lose powers/abilities for one week. Two weeks after the murder, +1 tally and +100 merit points will be awarded for each kill.
✽ The void in the auditorium continues to grow, and (pending character interaction) by the end of the month will encompass the entire right wing of all floors, including the locker area but not the rooftop. Please mind the void, murderers.
✽ This is a reminder that for any character that murders (again, please let me know), they will experience the same pain the following night and lose powers/abilities for one week. Two weeks after the murder, +1 tally and +100 merit points will be awarded for each kill.
✽ The void in the auditorium continues to grow, and (pending character interaction) by the end of the month will encompass the entire right wing of all floors, including the locker area but not the rooftop. Please mind the void, murderers.
no subject
It's a little surprising to be told that he can be cute, though he can't quite articulate why, but it's not until Komaeda's hands are on his face that his cheeks tint pink and a sputtering, confused little noise escapes him. There's something a little amusing about seeing a person with dead eyes having their muscles forcefully pushed up into a smile, but Rio thinks that even this must look better than his own efforts to force one - subtle, tiny, disgustingly fake. He squirms, looking away once released.
He doesn't have to smile, huh... That's a first. He leans forward and hides the lower half of his face in the crook of his elbow now, letting his eyes flick back to Komaeda. He's so embarrassing, and just that one gesture was enough to successfully throw his train of thought off. ]
No. Her emotional range is pretty limited, since she was designed for a specific purpose and doesn't need anything else. She has to work within her limitations... Well, technically she can get sad and angry, but it's more like a game mechanic than actual emotions. They're exaggerated versions of what a human presents, complete with a cute little guide to handle her.
[ It's like him, and yet it's not, because Rio ultimately had a capacity to go from a negative opinion to a positive one and vice versa. He wasn't made for any one singular purpose. He wasn't a puzzle to be solved, or an obstruction to get past, in the same way. Rio is a doll that's only half a human, but that's still more than any other was allowed to be... Well, not that it'd ever made him feel any better about himself. It just meant he had a chance at survival, and that was all he needed. ]
Vector bots? Despite how she acts, she's pretty childish. I dunno if she'd be interested right off the bat, but I bet if Sou started playing with 'em she'd get roped into it. Dunno how, but it'd get turned into some stupid competition or another.
[ It's a little harsh, but there's a hint of amusement to those words. He tilts his head as he considers the last question. ]
Hm, Rei would be simple enough since she's already an AI. I don't really need her code to recreate an approximate version of what she presents. Joe's a little unfair, since I saw so much of him... You really only need a surface version of a person to create a functional AI, so maybe Nene or Helena would be fine, I could just fill in the gaps if I wanted to...
[ Really, there's a lot of people that might apply to. One doesn't need to know the full scope of a person to recreate them, not when the entire point was to recreate the person that matches your memories - one's ideal version, with all of the good and none of the bad.
He sits back up properly, bringing his hand to his chin and mumbling as he continues. ]
Inaba would be worth trying to recreate, since I wouldn't really have to worry about completing it... Really, as long as you can pick up on the basics it's not too bad, even an incomplete AI will pass as the original just fine. Humans don't tend to think about each other that deeply, you know?
[ Which is probably a nice way of saying he has what he needs now, and Rio doesn't care about the rest of her. ]
I think... If I wanted to, I could do a decent job of making one for you. There'd still be gaps, but your logic system is pretty easy to follow, and you've given me plenty of examples to work with... It wouldn't be perfect, since there's always more to learn about a person, but I think it'd be adequate.
[ He links his fingers together and leans forward again, stretching out. Rio doesn't understand the concept of hope very well, because it doesn't apply to him, but that doesn't matter. It's much the same as how he could recreate a person's happiness flawlessly, despite never having experienced it himself. He says this without any particular emotion, as though it were the most normal thing in the world.
What kind of tweaks would he make... What gaps would need to be filled... He stares ahead now, thinking about such things... ]
no subject
( it could go farther than that, love worked both ways, a person could see everything about that person, flaws and all. love could make a person ignore the areas that are questionable, and carry on like it's normal. it's hard to say, but komaeda feels as if this person had a plan, and he was mindful of every step he took, he probably walked ten steps, and acted as if he's done only three. if her emotions were set in a way that played in his favor, then there was never a reason to entirely feel bad when she felt bad, because in the end she would still love him despite it all. he has no reason to think that she'd hate him for his actions, and that's the safest out he's made for himself.
komaeda should open his eyes more when rio informs him of how maple works compared to others, it's no different from a toy. emotions that play the part so he has something close to the real thing in his possession, maybe that too is what made hiyori feel the need to speak his thoughts on rio who had not enough emotional range to play with. it would have been simple, pushing up rio's cheeks into a smile, there's more work to play with his visual emotions, but komaeda has learned to make do with what he has. he could smile, but he can tell the spots that if he could where they'd go, with every little hearty laugh, and he hasn't made him feel the need yet... there could be a sparkle in his eye one day.
he loves the stars, but at most komaeda watches the waves crash against the rocks under the moon, it's serene, so simple. the fact he could listen to it forever is a testament to what he's seen before, it's familiar, and puts him at ease. between that and the bright sun that twinkles on the vast sea, causing those pearly sparkles and dots to be caught in his own eyes, rio is capable of doing that to. it sticks into komaeda's view once he closes his eyes, still memorable for the moment until he opens them again, and his eyes sting just to adjust them to what he's seen before. )
That's what's fun about them, isn't it? Your personal little bots that can be friends, argue, or challenge each other. Hm, imagine them praising their bot for getting into the charging station before the other, that is a feat in its own right.
( because vector bots are smart ais, but they can't see behind them to guess where their station is. to what to charge, they'll have to figure it out, and it might be an unfair battle if shin can edit his bot while sara has to personally train hers like she would a dog. he thinks the idea is interesting, but it's true, they probably deserve gifts that they'd immediately like. )
As long as they have what a person knows... then it's better if no one understands them completely, that way they can't see the hiccups. Hm, Inaba-san is smart and stand-offish, as long as she makes sense, no one would know she was an AI. Same goes for Yashiro-san, and Adams-san, they have personalities that could be easy to recreate, hm... Yashiro-san is building herself up now, so I wonder how different she'd be? ( he's interesting when it comes to watching people grow from their past, those stepping stones which moves them along further so they aren't stuck in place. like a jenga puzzle that parts are taken out, they wobble a bit to hold their ground as they find a momentum that'll keep them in place without falling, and them they take from the bottom, go back on top with a few more added pieces as they grow higher and higher and high — there's a small jolt from komaeda, too much energy as he jumps a little, but hits his knee against the coffin. )
O— Ow!
( not that it hurt, but he felt as if that was tge necessary response. he didn't have to do that as he settles back into place. )
You'd waste time and effort if you chose me, Riokun! Hmm... to create me, you'd have to recreate my talent, but even that's going too far...
( komaeda's nothing without it, he'd be flawed otherwise, the ai would have nothing to fear, or try and break away from others if it didn't have that tumultuous, horrific events that'll happen in its present. the ability to cause harm to himself to ensure something else, it's his only power that's available to him, yet he hates it for being so useless. to give hope to others is his only reason for existing, to watch it flourish, to see everyone at their best to obtain a future they've always wanted, or to see one in general. )
What about... ( who would be interesting? his mind flips through a number of people he's met, and then he stops on... ) Sakasaki-kun... Have you met him?
no subject
Not really.
[ Moving on. What is of interest to him is the fact that Komaeda is right that his talent can't easily be recreated - there's something to be said about such a unique ability, regardless of how one might categorize it. It bordered on the supernatural, and so it became one of the few things that science couldn't understand in order to control and advance it past what humans were capable of. He folds his arms, looking down at his lap as he considers that, before he takes the cards back up and the lower half of his face disappears behind the one with the open-mouthed grin. ]
Well, I can't bend reality, so I dunno that it'd be possible to recreate it. I guess it'd be possible to mimic it in some way within the confines of the AI program itself... [ Rio reaches over to tap the screen. ] ... Which might be an interesting project, but for the most part, I don't think it'd matter. The problem is that without it, you'd be a different person, right? But that's the point.
[ He flips to the cat card. ]
There's no need for an AI to change. It's just a snapshot of who the person was, so no matter how many years pass, they'll be the same person as they were when you made 'em.
[ The ice cream cone. He's never given any thought to making one for himself. ]
If I were to make one, it would be to preserve a person I wanna keep exactly as they were in my memory. When it's for your own satisfaction, there's no wasting it as long as you're satisfied with the outcome, right? Anyway, I think it'd be good enough.
[ As long as he could trick himself into believing it was that person, or close enough, that should be enough for it to be considered a success. After all, the goal wasn't a complete recreation; much like Maple, AIs based on living people are just tools. They're meant to bring comfort to the living, and that meant they were imperfect creations by default. They weren't human, they were strings of code and functions and syntaxes, even less than Rio himself was.
He looks over at the laptop screen, wondering who might qualify as that person he wanted to talk to endlessly. Who would be worth recreating halfway? Would it be Komaeda? Safalin? He doesn't think so - there's no one in particular that he can think of, no one at all that would be worth it, because no matter how Rio looks at it... There's no way that half a person could satisfy him when the memory of who they were, and the knowledge of how much more they were, would endlessly eat away at him. ]
Anyway, that's not the sorta project I'd take on for myself.
no subject
( a singular picture cause in that same basic state with nothing deterring them towards happiness or sadness, they're just that piece of the world unchanging. with how put together those artificial intelligences happen to be, they would be aware of their state, he's sure. probably even know who they're modeled after, having to carry that weight of living as a duplicate for someone's satisfactions. thinking about it, would komaeda want to be watered down to the concept of just a snapshot, for him, he wants to see hope prosper, but that feeling will always be eternal.
hope, talent, bonds, friendship... all that works together, a remedy that's placed into a blender, cut and mixed all together, and once swallowed down becomes the best energy drink. the motivation brought from one person to another, watching them overcome their hurdles with that extra kick, being able to hype people up to join them in that ordeal, ah, he loves hope so much that just a snapshot of him might contain that love, too. as long as he's that way, then maybe he can encourage others to walk together side by side, even if he's just an ai with that same thought. he doesn't think about himself, and he knows that rio will construct that version of him to be the same, and it'd be terrifying if komaeda gained even the slightest confidence. it's better this way, how he is, but even still — )
Between us, if it ever comes down to it, don't let there be one of me.
( if only it was like a photograph, it'd be nice, but he's a constant moving picture, one with the ability to influence, but it's nothing deep. or, he won't make it out that way, but luckily this isn't about that. he'll use it as a little insert though, not that he doesn't want to spread hope, but at that point, he believes in those that have their goals, that have their motivation that they can make it without him — for a world to be like that where they can count and rely on one another, it's a beautiful thought, and he likes it. it's because he knows that rio can do these things with others, he has his motivations, and his reasons, and komaeda's aware that nothing can stop him from that. it's why he's not too worried about it, because if he's able to teach rio the true meaning of hope, then it's like passing his thoughts to a successor that will spread it correctly.
besides, rio said he'd hold all these memories for them, and so komaeda is counting on that. even now, he wonders when the day will come that he'll forget them sitting here doing this. )
I've seen it, people keeping others for comfort. When someone died, our Ultimate Mechanic created a toy of another Ultimate, it was meant to keep her sane... she was having a breakdown, but I believe it's a good thing she hadn't got an AI of him, who knows how she would have reacted.
( at that time, komaeda didn't care how they reacted, or how she reacted, it was more he was lost in his own thoughts of what to do about them, but now that's over... he's able to appreciate the work of it. )
I won't make you a jack of all trades, yet! As for their gifts, do you want to spoil them?
( back to the important topic, and he's watching rio tap on the computer to in order to see what he can pick up. )
no subject
He's not surprised that Komaeda rejects the idea out of hand. For a person who was focused on seeing moved forward, who focused on hopes and bonds and concepts that he couldn't fully comprehend, Rio supposes that being made into a crutch for someone to lean on to avoid working through their loss would be the worst fate of all. He thinks of how Nao had clung to screen, fixed on that singular point, refusing to budge from it for so long. They had all been so happy to see the dead professor again, but none more than her.
He thinks about how that AI had asked to be killed so that she could move on. It had been baffling, and it still puzzles him.
Would anyone want to be treasured like that? It's not something he's ever had to think about. It seems like that natural order of things that the living would determine how to best proceed, rather than fussing over the wants of the dead. In the same way, it seems foolish to make that promise to a living person. Even his own lack of want is because he can so readily tell the difference, and would see all the little flaws and missing elements that he didn't know enough to replicate. His eyes flick to the side, fingering the hope fragment pendant hanging around his neck, and he's just a little too slow to respond.
He's never considered any of it because none of it really matters, it's just for the sake of soothing oneself. But against all reason, his hand comes up to pat Komaeda's head, resting there for just a moment before he takes it back. ]
... There won't be. I promise.
[ It's something that his partner's asking of him, and for now Rio settles on that being enough. He keeps his promises, and so he's able to leave the subject at that. ]
Yeah. It'd be nice if I could. We had a pretty rocky relationship before, so... Ahaha, I'm surprised either of them have tolerated me this much.
no subject
It might be because you hang around me.
( you know how people look better when they stand next to someone else. he allowed rio to pet him, but he doesn't turn away from the gesture as he watches the other thoughtfully. he knows they've had one considering the role rio played, someone who allowed them to target their hate towards, and now he's suffering the consequences, but... ) Hm, but maybe it's because of what happened that they can tolerate you. It sounds pretty unfortunate, the hell that they went through, but look at everything now?
( with a smile, he lifts his prosthetic hand to grab rio's wrist, removing it from his head and back down onto the keyboard. sometimes he has to remind people of thee little things, their worries and concerns mean nothing when at the end of the day, he says they're tolerating, but if komaeda had to find a term for it; he doesn't think that's correct. )
I think there's more to it... someone tolerating you wouldn't help fix your code. Tsukimi-kun tolerates me, but he does everything in his power in hopes not to make conversation.
( isn't that toleration, holding people at arm's length? komaeda knows it very well, but that's what he does when it comes to bonds and friendships, but since this isn't his relationship, he's able to speak his thoughts. he wants to see them flourish, their own unique happiness, and how people come together towards their future, or their hope. hope is a concept that everyone should understand, and it's only made as long as a person has another. )
It's a little more, Shujinkou-chan seems to be willing to patch up bleeding relationships, I'm surprised she did so with me considering I was just another tally in her eyes. Hm... ( letting go of his wrist now, komaeda reaches out to cup the male's face gently so that he can brush his thumb against his cheek. ) Give them and yourself a bit of credit, Riokun, your lives are different now... so make something with the people here that isn't just guarding your back. How else will you spread hope among your cast?
no subject
It seems unfair to suggest that he form bonds with others that isn't just guarding his back when he had no other way of living. He could trust no one with his exposed back, but he couldn't see in two directions at once, and so he was always trying to glance over his shoulder and straining his senses for any subtle shift that might signify a knife was about to appear. His partner here was no more disinclined to kill him than the previous one, and he can feel comfortable knowing that he only need not allow it to happen.
Rio does lift his hand to wave it though. ]
Those kids don't need me for that. They'll do just fine on their own.
[ It's not a dismissal, but nor is it to say that there's nothing he can do, but a simple fact. The participants were far too strong, and they were far too kind, and Rio's not so blind as to miss the changes in both of them. He lets out a little sigh before conceding on the rest, ]
But I don't get a say in how either of 'em feel about me. You're right that Sara's been willing enough to let things go, so you're not gonna hear me complaining.
[ But he does pause there, finally looking back to Komaeda. ]
... That kid's been teetering on the edge, you know. Humans can only take so much trauma. She's been starting to regain her balance, but I'm sorta worried that somebody's just gonna come along and shove her off before she can. Humans can only take so much before they just completely break... Ahaha, it'd be a shame if that happened, don't you think?
[ Rio doesn't talk about others often. He might give Komaeda impressions, and he might offer random tidbits he found of interest, but for the most part he doesn't seem to find anything about others interesting enough to comment on. He notes it now for his partner's consideration because he is the type to push and pull. There's no sense in telling him not to, but he wasn't completely unreasonable, and it was so easy to miss that frailty. ]
Well, I'm sure she'll be fine.
no subject
( it's not direct, but he can tell from how it's said to them, all the characters here from that odd world of theirs always tend to say the same thing to him, don't push too hard. sara had been protective of shin too, but that's probably because he's been bullied far too many times, and it always made him think could he not fight back? it's a scary position to be in when someone's stronger than you, but that's when you meet their desperation, when their will grows stronger because they don't want to have everything they've done collapse on them. komaeda thinks he could break shin if he wanted to, it only takes three simple steps to see him down on his knees, but he isn't that type of person.
he's someone who wants to see hope, so noticing the cracks in the porcelain means for him to be mindful, poking, but nowhere near those wounds. he doesn't want to see them officially shatter, because at that moment, all the pieces, the little dusts that settle in between are lost, and that former beauty is gone. )
Do you believe me when I say I want to see hope? Inducing them into despair is fine, because that way, their hope will shine extravagantly, such negative energy is miniscule to the essence that she can manifest, and fight against it. Slaying that evil, and being able to motivate others, using her shield, and teaching them too to pick up a sword! Hm... you told me about your Majority Game, it's a despairing concept, so she already met herself with it, now it's time for her to take everything she's learned and use it here, build her hope! ...Hm, if she broke, I'd be disappointed.
( shujinkou-chan isn't just a name, it's the hope of a young girl, a sibling to the ultimate hope that komaeda has fixated on for so long. it means something, and he's never been wrong in his hope accusations when it comes to others, he can tell there's nothing special about her, she's as boring as the rest, a complete nobody, but that's what makes her interesting because her presence grows steadily, and she in a way could unite everyone if she worked harder. she could gather hope, spread it by her actions, that's why he wants to see how far they can go. )
Tell me, Riokun.
( komaeda leans forward now, propping his elbows up on the coffin as he slips he laces his fingers between the cracks, settling his chin down as he sighs softly. )
How many more taps does she have until she shatters, you would know, given those words, I'd assume?
no subject
But he believes that Komaeda has a consistent value system, and that he believes in hope. That's why Rio's willing to speak with him, despite being certain that he must have been told to back off before. He taps at a few keys idly before backspacing, taking his hand away from the keyboard. ]
Neither of them need to be coddled. Shin's a big boy now, he doesn't need me to babysit him anymore, but Sara was already--[ Broken. ]--different than we had anticipated her to be in the game. She was already weighed down by trauma and unrealistic expectations by time she got my floor, and it would have gotten worse from there. She seems like she's started to work through all of that.
[ He leans his chin on his hand, gaze dropping down to the coffin. He traces little circles on it with his index finger. His brow furrows slightly as he thinks on it again. That shouldn't have happened. They were all too strong to forget. They were all too carefully selected. It makes no sense, and yet it makes perfect sense when he starts to work through it logically.
He turns his head to look back to Komaeda now. ]
No matter how many times you tap her, she won't shatter. She's the kind of person who will keep hold herself together no matter what. It's just that she'll get chipped away at until there's nothing left but survival.
[ A beat. That's a sour, uncomfortable note to end his answer on, and so he adds - ]
You can't expect a person to pick themselves up off the floor if people keep kicking them in the gut every time they try.
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Shujinkou-chan did heavily believe in survival, I remember her speaking to the Ultimate Detective...
( there's a bit of sadness to his voice, accepting of the circumstances, but the loss and love that goes to an ultimate is a difficult pill to swallow. when his hope was nurtured so well by his hands, the flower that blossomed from his body, and how he was praised for his efforts. then to watch him die due to being used by those incompetent wo couldn't do so for themselves.
that ultimate's talent is beautiful, he was beautiful in ever sense of the word. his talent prospered here, was wanted by many, and the multiple cases he solved only rallied those together. komaeda wanted to do anything for that talent, anything. )
That she wouldn't die for anyone, and not for him, that told me... she just wouldn't die lying down, that she'd at least fight back. Speaking and seeing it are two different things, anyone can say that... but I'm mindful, even Tsukimi-kun, he's a little different. Hm... have you noticed an aura about him?
( no one will understand that, but komaeda's eyes see his own, and seeing such lights as hope and despair has always been his own little quirk. he knows that the other can't see them like he does, but perhaps the motivation is more than enough. )
Ah, useless ramblings I suppose. This is about Shujinkou-chan, then let's say this, I'm interested in what she'll build herself up to be with my own eyes. If she believes in nothing more than survival, she's no different than the person that started that game of yours. There's no destination when all you do is live, and that sounds absolutely dreadful.
( clearly there's something there that komaeda doesn't want sara to lose, but these aren't his kids either, so his arms cross against the coffin. )
To say all this, do you think I'm that bad on your children?
( children, only because rio used to babysit them, therefore komaeda toys with the idea playfully. )
I'm only a stepping stone regardless, using me properly will benefit her, so you have no need to worry.
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I don't know if you are. They're both doing better, so you can't be that bad.
[ Rio doesn't understand human emotions well, nor limitations, as he doesn't have any such things. No matter how broken he is, his system has no choice but to repair itself and to keep going. In that sense, he's not all that unlike Sara. They are, he supposes, both worthy heirs to ASUNARO in that regard. But he can at least understand that she's just a kid who's trying to piece herself back together. ]
I just happen to know them, and I figure if anyone else brought it up they'd be stupid about it. So, I thought I'd give you my thoughts, 'cause I figured you'd wanna hear 'em.
[ Which is to say that he figures they just would've told him to back off, or promised to protect her or something similar. Would he do the same? Maybe. But it does no good for him to try and force something when Komaeda would just go behind his back, and it would do no good to try and fight her battles for her. Rio processes what he sees, filters it through a logical lens, and then reports it. That's how it's always been. It's just a matter of caring enough to do so here.
He flips to the cat card. He doesn't seem terribly worried, at any rate. ]
'Cause you seem like you've had a lot on your mind lately.
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...Hm. No, if I delude them, then they'll never be able to get a complete grasp on what I'm truly capable of.
( which may be a lot for a sick guy barely hanging on, but despite his body weak, his luck is the strongest about him. his wit and intuition, the make up of komaeda nagito is a crime. he has too many thoughts to let them go to waste, he has so much to do for others, and never a day is tiresome. soon after rio pokes his cheek, he lays down now, eyes looking up from the fireplace as the flame coax his eyes close, and hands cross over his chest. )
I wouldn't do anything I know they can't handle. I want to see them overcome certain situations so that they have a better understanding next time, to prevent them from being stumped, so they won't give up.. That's what I'm here for, to nurture their hopes of success.
( even as he says that, it's hard to understand that he's had a lot on his mind. does he? has he been showing a part of himself that he shouldn't? his eyes slowly part open in thought, now looking up at the paintings, and he drums his fingers against his chest. )
Hm. ( his mind flutters back to what he's willing to hear, and what he doesn't want to hear. rio's thoughts are nice, logical, finds a reason to conclude why either experience would be good or bad. komaeda can see his concerns, not all concerned, but he knows when enough is enough. )
You're right.
( to which statement? quite awful of him not to explain which. )
me realizing like 20 tags in this is just after he gets his pos emotes thank god he's so the same
If I was worried about that, I'd go to them directly.
[ That's a little more direct, and it's true enough. He observes and report, but it's rare for him to do much more than that. He tends to be more considerate of his partner, and he might act if things are in front of him, but otherwise he offers information and nothing more. This, too, is weighing in simply for the sake of creating a complete picture. Komaeda is a shade of red, Rio is a shade of blue, and so they can work together to create a murky purple.
It's the same reason he can suspect his partner has something on his mind. He watches and records and analyzes in an impassioned manner. Perfect memory, and an analytical skill that only gets better the more he sees of someone. He pushes the hood of his jacket back, letting it flop against his back. His hands slide down to the floor as he walks them forward a bit, just enough for him to place one on either side of Komaeda as he stares down at him. That gaze can't quite be called lifeless anymore, but it's not full either; it's blank even now, with just faint hints of emotion to it.
In the end, not much changed at all, and even this is only a natural progression of him learning to mimic the behaviors of those around him and slowly shedding the anxiety of being pushed away. ]
About what?
NOT 20 TAGS IN IM CRYING how his emotions were important for this tag... cute
as he looks up, watching the eyes that stare down at him, it's an adjustment, one that's new to him through those eyes. this is the pair that he has to share his vision with, see the depth of the world that he's unable to see alone, and when the other blinks, komaeda's eyes cover for him, but they see two entirely different things. is that fair to him, he wonders, and so he lifts his organic hand to place over rio's eyes so that he's unable to look at komaeda properly. his own touch is ice cold like normal since his body doesn't absorb warmth, but he can feel it when he touches rio, it builds up in the palm of his hand. )
I'd listen to your thoughts, I'd listen to anyone's really.
( that doesn't mean he has to follow them accordingly when it comes to peoples wants and desires, komaeda has always been the type to do what he pleases. that said, what he will want to do that he so pleases is listen to what's on rio's mind from his feelings to his impressions on others, even if some of it goes through one ear and out the other. )
You're no different from them.
( even with his eyes covered, komaeda sees nothing out of place, but that bright color of his hair that stands out, and becomes part of his scenery. )
Don't forget that we're Christmas shopping.
noooooo too cute places hand to chest
But he doesn't object. Rio doesn't need his sight when Komaeda will see for him when he can't, and so he only need stay as he is. ]
... Ah... Right...
[ He doesn't object to either point. His opinion carries no more weight than any other, and so there's no more need to share it than anyone else. He does so regardless, and he listens in turn. ]
Ummm... Sara likes sweet pastes, like strawberry jam, or koshian toast... [ Which obviously isn't doable on its own, but the individual parts are. ] That sort of thing. She'd probably appreciate anything cute, though.
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( his thumb brushes along the width of rio's eyebrow, and his own blank stare remains while watching the other talk. he's still him, there's just more to him now, a little sparkling light that shows up from time to time, or maybe komaeda's seeing things. his eyes doesn't burn when he sees it, but he makes it a habit to double take before it's gone, but when he does look back, it is. that could have been his imagination just like everything else. )
...
( "... ah... right..." he was searching for something else, the other little dilemmas that plague komaeda's mind, but he has nothing to offer. those sorts of thoughts are restricted, besides, he's never liked making anything about him even if his partner would listen to whatever he says. komaeda's aware that rio will feed into, swallow everything that's said, attempt to pick at komaeda's brain just for their mutual understanding. having him here, someone who wants to listen and know without any lies between, why are they such honest people? that's why komaeda can only deflect, but he's sure rio's aware, and won't pry unless komaeda lets him. )
Something cute... like matching bracelets? ( he looks at the arm of his right, seeing the scarf that's tightly wrapped around his wrist. he hums, closing his own eyes. ) A little drawing of the owners of the room, you could have one of both Chidouin-san and Tsukimi-kun. Our Princess back home was kind enough to make us all one when we roomed somewhere else.
( wouldn't that be cute? indicators on their door, and maybe one for rio so that they can all match. )
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But his partnership with Komaeda is even messier than that. It's a shade of blue and a shade of red that form a sticky purple, just like before, but it's tainted by orange and green that form sickly stains on it. So it is that he stays here, hovering above Komaeda, seeing despite his eyes covered because he knows the person beneath him is watching for him, and so it is that Rio takes too long to respond, quiet and distant and noncommittal, ]
Maybe...
[ It is a cute idea, but his mind is elsewhere, because he thinks too much these days. Rio thinks of trust and love and hope, of such things that shouldn't matter to a doll. Then, though it's unrelated, he asks: ]
What do you see?
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( he looks around, he looks at rio, is that who komaeda is supposed to see? or is it deeper than that? he laughs, and looks to the side. )
I see lights. ( his thumb brushes against rio's eyebrows, feeling how soft they are, and how much effort was put into creating his model. isn't hasn't been that long since they completed him, or are completing. it's like fireflies, little small dots that blink here and there inside of rio, but they aren't stagnant. like fire flies, they have to build up their light, release, and do it again. this chemical reaction... he could call it hope, or particles of it, will they stay? will they disappear? )
I find that I've stared at the ceiling too long, when I close my eyes, I see the leftover after images of said lights.
( they're meant to use each others eyes, see things the other person can't see, and komaeda looks around the rooms trying to find something he can mention. )
The portraits? ...Sometimes I feel despair wafting off one. I look back, and it disappears. Ahaha, do you think my eyes are bad?
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[ Rio can only see the world through his own lens. It's sharp and logical, and it passively records everything, so unlike humans who can fixate on little details. What does he notice? How does he view it? It's those little questions that tug at him.
It's not bad to try and see the world through another person's lens. He stiffens a little at the mention of despair though, a tiny frown pulling at him. ]
That depends. Which one is it?
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( knowing it's not good for his eyes is meaningless, he has to see like this to choose what he should do, and howhe should react. he doesn't like despair, but he loves hope, and despair happens to be a sickly smog of darkness, a poison that wafts from the body that eats away the good. it's meaningless though, nothing that hope can't defeat, so he doesn't feel worried. )
The one with the eyes, they're like emeralds, I thought he was an older Tsukimi-kun, but... the change in hair color is too drastic.
( if he has to explain this through his vision, then he'll look up to the paintings. )
It's only sometimes, and other times, I feel as though they're nothing more than someone passing by, watching us.
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If that person were ever to show up, Rio would gladly work with him. He would swallow down every bit of distaste and coordinate, and without a doubt he they could get more done together than most.
But Komaeda...
...
He doesn't want him anywhere near Hiyori. ]
Your eyes aren't bad. The person in that portrait is the type who's simply living for themselves, so he they're not held back by anyone or anything, so they can be anyone and do anything.
[ He frowns a little, that twitchy little frown. He's not being factitious. His personality with them was probably the closest he came to the "true" Hiyori, but even then, Rio wouldn't pretend that any of them knew his true face. ]
For example... If I cure your disease and give you a happy life, that would be interesting, right? But it might be fun to take you apart piece by piece, too, and see what happens. I could even break you down until you're just barely hanging on, and then carefully build you back up, and see what that does... Maybe I'll change the world for the better, or for worse, or I'll simply watch and see what happens. No matter what I do, no matter how it ends, I'm satisfied with the results.
[ Did that mean he had despair? Rio's not sure. For as much as Komaeda has talked about hope, he's rarely touched on the other side of the coin, and so he leaves him to draw his own conclusions based on that. That, he thinks, is the core of the real Sou Hiyori. ]
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he looks back to the painting. )
It's only sometimes what I feel from that photo, but that could be the despair from behind the wall. Whoever passes by... it's faint, though. Or, it's a despairing event... I can feel it.
( he hums, thinking about how he should handle this. talking about his abilities, or maybe his intuition, his talent? it causes problems, he can tell when someone hopeful or despairing is about to happen, and his radar has been off ever since coming here — maybe because they're dead, and that foreboding feeling holds no weight here. )
From the sound of it, that person can do the impossible, but that's not wrong. ...It's all about how he uses it. What are his lows like, well, if we stay in character. What are your lows, what's it like to break you apart...?
( he blinks curious, but rio can't see him, and thus he'll close his eyes completely as he pulls the other closer to him, this way that the other can lay their head on komaeda's chest if he allows it.
it might be nap time as they speak. )
Ahaha! It's interesting, interesting!
( is there an answer to breaking the true "sou hiyori"? )
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He decides to play the role of "Sou Hiyori" for a little longer. ]
It's hard... I'm in my 20s, but I have more accomplishments than almost anyone. I'm the greatest surgeon the world has to offer, a top medical researcher, a psychologist, and I can work with advanced technology. I excel at social situations and making connections, and I can read people perfectly. I replaced most of my body with doll parts, so I don't have to worry about age or disease.
[ It's a mouthful, but he lists off every one carefully. It's quite the accomplishment for someone so young. ]
I have nothing, I love no one, and I am nobody, so you can't take anything away from me. I don't care what the dice show, since I'll just keep rolling until I get the outcome I want, so I don't have any lows. So if you wanted to break me...
[ It would be difficult because he's set up to be everything and everyone, to have everything, and yet to be and have nothing at all. Sou Hiyori is a man who takes and takes, who consumes everything around him without ever finding satisfaction, because his only goal isn't something that can be clearly defined. It's about one thing, and one thing alone... So it's infinitely difficult, and yet, the solution is so simple it's almost funny. ]
You would take away my control. I think of every inevitability, I ensure I can lose nothing, but above all else I need to be in control at all times. Because if I lose that, then I don't know what will happen. Because my life is the only thing I have to lose.
[ That's what Rio thinks, anyway. Hiyori was the most difficult of the Floormasters to understand, but even so, he had picked up on things over time. ]
His floors... Hm, I wonder if they bothered him. They were a memento mori... Though you could say it was a memorial too, I guess..
[ There was death at every turn there. ]
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those words sound what komaeda wants to amount to, if a person lacks these aspects, does that mean nothing can hurt them? sou hiyori has quite the idea, but even komaeda hums softly as he listens to this person that has changed their body so much they no longer suffer age or disease, that too... is slightly upsetting, but perhaps there can be hope in that? he tries to figure out in his head, gauge the rights and wrongs, wondering what parts are hope and despair.
...he's supposed to be learning how to code. )
He's a successful person, but he sounds lonely despite being sociable, and understanding people. I can understand that.
( he's not too different, there's parts that he can relate to that makes him lack the need to judge him, but there's parts that make him curious. his flaw that'll ruin him is control, and that's never something komaeda needs, because his luck allows him to come out victorious every time — though, someone who had no chance of that, someone who threw their dice, and if he rolled bad, he'd make it work into his favor even if it went deeper and deeper into a hole he couldn't crawl out of.
his eyes open again to look up at the painting... control, power, even shin has a bad habit with that. )
I don't care too much about power, but... from hearing you talk about him, he sounds like someone who's transcended death, killed himself, but is still a common denominator in various lives.
( besides, even rio doesn't like talking about him, and shin didn't seem fond of any of the pictures up there. )
If you do something unpredictable, he'll trip over his own two feet... life seems too boring if you know everything that's going to happen...
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You're looking at it from the wrong angle. Try turning it around and looking at it again. I have nothing, I love no one, and I am nobody, so you can't take anything away from me.
[ He repeats those words now, slower this time. ]
I can do as I please, and I can take as I please, and I have nothing weighing me down. I've attained true freedom. I've attained true happiness.
[ Loneliness is a concept for those who have love, and sadness is reserved for those who find disappointment in their life. Sou Hiyori was blessed with a talent that was unrivaled amongst his peers, save those at ASUNARO, and he had no attachments to bind him. He had no emotional constructs to bind him, no moral dilemmas to constrict his actions, there was only the need to ensure his continued existence. There was only the need to work within society's rules, a fun little game that he could play as he went along. There's only fear and happiness and living... Life's better when you only have to think of your own desires, don't you think?
That's why it was true freedom, and that's why it was true happiness. There was no one who could take it away. It was a unique existence. ]
He's a little different than most people, though... Well, I guess anyone could reach that last one. Plenty of people do, actually, just not as effectively as me. Because I don't have to justify it.
[ Humans are inherently selfish like that. The problem is that they try to make excuses for it. They spruce it up and paint it gold and advertise it as a wondrous delight that anyone can enjoy. Sou Hiyori had no need for such falsehoods. In that regard, he was far more honest with himself than most. ]
Hmm... You could probably say it's the journey that makes it fun. It's laying out all the pieces and moving them, and ensuring that everything goes exactly according to plan. You have to plan for every inevitability, you have to be willing to adapt as needed, and so on and so forth.
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