[She'd still be dead, cheap, gruesome performance aside. It's bad enough just knowing they would have rubbed salt in the wound, just because they could, all for the sake of this 'ritual', as Sara had put it... He can't do anything about it, and that aches.]
Ahahaha... you really have changed, huh?
[A bitter, strained, laugh. Good thing that he is... why do people keep thinking that, not wanting him to die? He doesn't want to die himself, but that's natural, right? Even Midori didn't want to die. Even Gashu and Kai... or they wouldn't have tried so hard beforehand, sweat beading on their faces. But other people... he doesn't get it. Even now. The only option is he's hidden those parts of himself he hates too well, enough that people forgive him when they step on the trap underneath the leaves. That he's advanced that much in that skill... or maybe they just pity him.
...it makes more sense if it's just practical, especially coming from Ranger. Even with the ability to feel compassion... if Shin died his options for someone who understands his code get limited. Or so Shin would like to think, especially in this moment of grasping onto something else.]
...
...
An idiot... Doubt it, she never does. [Ranger's right, she just barrels ahead straight through things.] She just dropped me like a hot coal, who knows what she was thinking? Surely it can't be... that I thought she was Midori.
[Almost said the name there, caught it in time. Would Ranger even know the nickname? He's not really thinking about that right now. He hates this, that returning to that state of mind, that hollow in his brain still there, paved over instead of filled in like as thought.]
Lack of air really does strange things to you, doesn't it? Well, I guess you wouldn't know... doubt you've experienced any equivalent either. Maybe that logic error came close, ahaha.
[I've seen it described by a Jenna Moran as like this, and Shin would probably think of it this way as well; it's like being under a DDOS, more and more of your brain and your thoughts and your self being spammed with, replaced with, overloaded by, requests for air, desire for air, even plans to get air start falling away to be replaced with nothing but NEED AIR. You get very stupid, very quick... he'd like to chalk it up to that.]
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[She'd still be dead, cheap, gruesome performance aside. It's bad enough just knowing they would have rubbed salt in the wound, just because they could, all for the sake of this 'ritual', as Sara had put it... He can't do anything about it, and that aches.]
Ahahaha... you really have changed, huh?
[A bitter, strained, laugh. Good thing that he is... why do people keep thinking that, not wanting him to die? He doesn't want to die himself, but that's natural, right? Even Midori didn't want to die. Even Gashu and Kai... or they wouldn't have tried so hard beforehand, sweat beading on their faces. But other people... he doesn't get it. Even now. The only option is he's hidden those parts of himself he hates too well, enough that people forgive him when they step on the trap underneath the leaves. That he's advanced that much in that skill... or maybe they just pity him.
...it makes more sense if it's just practical, especially coming from Ranger. Even with the ability to feel compassion... if Shin died his options for someone who understands his code get limited. Or so Shin would like to think, especially in this moment of grasping onto something else.]
...
...
An idiot... Doubt it, she never does. [Ranger's right, she just barrels ahead straight through things.] She just dropped me like a hot coal, who knows what she was thinking? Surely it can't be... that I thought she was Midori.
[Almost said the name there, caught it in time. Would Ranger even know the nickname? He's not really thinking about that right now. He hates this, that returning to that state of mind, that hollow in his brain still there, paved over instead of filled in like as thought.]
Lack of air really does strange things to you, doesn't it? Well, I guess you wouldn't know... doubt you've experienced any equivalent either. Maybe that logic error came close, ahaha.
[I've seen it described by a Jenna Moran as like this, and Shin would probably think of it this way as well; it's like being under a DDOS, more and more of your brain and your thoughts and your self being spammed with, replaced with, overloaded by, requests for air, desire for air, even plans to get air start falling away to be replaced with nothing but NEED AIR. You get very stupid, very quick... he'd like to chalk it up to that.]