[Here is Shin, local loner, nosing late through the door to the common room and already looking like he's planning to just stand in the corner drinking something and watching the goings on until it's been the requisite amount of socially acceptable time before leaving.
He is doomed, though. Socialisation and mingling is the dread fate hanging upon him. It Approaches.]
( he sure is doomed. there's really no better occasion for amami to introduce kaede around and get her started off on the right foot, and he's got a couple people at the top of his list that he'd like most to introduce her to. of that list, "sou hiyori" is pretty high up there. if shin meets amami's eyes for so much as a moment, he can see the way they brighten. turning to kaede, he'll gesture for her to follow before making a direct bee-line towards shin. )
Hey Hiyori-kun, you have a minute? There's someone I wanted to introduce you to.
[kaede's going to be wheeled around so much meeting all of amami's friends, but she doesn't seem to mind at all as she follows the other. shin looks like he'd rather be standing by the wall than be introduced to someone new though, and while she feels a little bad about it...]
Hi there! I'm Akamatsu Kaede, a friend of Amami-kun's. It's nice to meet you, Hiyori-kun.
[she doesn't feel bad enough to not make conversation or dissuade amami from this one.]
[It's like a pokemon battle... they lock eyes and there's the music and it's all over. It's still a bit weird for Shin, that brightening on seeing him, but he's had at least a little time to get used to it, hand lifting and fingers curling in in an uncertain half-wave as they come over.]
Ah, I'm not busy... N-nice to meet you too, Miss Kaede.
[His smile's friendly enough, even as the eyes above it aren't directly meeting hers.]
Ahaha, Rantaro's told me about you... the ultimate pianist, right?
[He's heard Komaeda go on about ultimate this and that before, although like 'hope' this and that it's something he's used to tuning out. Rantaro was really excited to learn he was the ultimate adventurer though so... it's something fairly important he guesses?]
[oh, she knows this type... she was just besties with one... shy, passive, and lack self-confidence in themselves. shin's made himself a target.]
That's me, though... I honestly wouldn't call it an "ultimate" anything. I just like playing piano a little too much, that's all -- I'm your ordinary, every day girl otherwise.
[despite how amami hypes her up it's honestly a little embarrassing]
kaede in every thread like thanks for the intro ami you can go now
Haha, well, even if the "ultimate" part isn't so important, it'd be hard to introduce you without mentioning that you're a pianist.
( you should hear her, hiyori-kun, she says "oh my chopin" or whatever instead of oh my god. it's a lot, but amami looks fondly amused even as he agrees. )
Akamatsu-san, this is Hiyori Sou-kun. I told you about him earlier, but he's the reason I was able to remember my talent. He can be pretty sharp, too.
[Honestly it says a lot that this protest is actually being said out loud and not staying safe and sound in the brackets text to only manifest as a tiny minus above Shin's head. He's trying to play it off at least... same with the reminder that people can and do talk about him when he's not around. Rantaro and Kaede apparently being from the same 'ultimates' world... he wonders if she's heard of the things he's told Shin about.]
Well, don't sell yourself short... If you like something enough to do it that much, you're gonna get good at it, right?
[Which is one of those things unknowingly clicking into place below the surface as he says it. He's not sure what to say about the piano thing in specific because most of the music he listened to was either video game music or the entire subset of electronica with various suffixes. It's unfamiliar.]
Ahaha, I'm starting to think there's no such thing as an ordinary every day person...
[It just seems wrong to be going swimming in an unheated pool when there's snow on the ground outside... he's going to be an icicle, at this rate. Helena asked, so he's actually here and already changed into his student-store-acquired wetsuit, but he's still going to complain and stall a little, as is his wont. He's peering at the water and having vivid fantasies of when this was filled with lava.]
Couldn't we do this next week? It's just been Christmas... and finals... It's good to take breaks, right?
It is, which is why we didn't do this all of the week of finals. It's not as bad as you think it is, I promise.
[it's not ice. but it is cold, and he probably heard her squeak when she got in, but she's determined to keep this up - or at least use this day to a purpose. honestly, she doesn't know what to believe right now, but they have a routine to keep to.
and Helena has questions for him that she can only ask after he's pushed himself swimming at least two laps.]
[As usual, he draws things out getting in, inch by cold inch... but once he's actually in the water and moving it's a little better. His technique is good, because it's like riding a bicycle, and he hasn't really realized it himself but his stamina's been improving little by little, from him cramping up when he first got in way back to the smooth laps he's doing now.
It's still only a few of them before he's panting heavily, finishing with a corkscrew kickoff just to show off despite Helena a) not being able to see it and b) having heard it before, before lying on his back staring up at the ceiling. It... feels good, to be able to do something like this, the same strange feeling he was surprised to discover when gardening. Guess that's why he keeps doing this even though he wonders why he keeps doing this every time.]
Ha..... haaaa... Guess you're right...
[Honestly it's a sign of his... comfort isn't quite the right word, but settledness, that he's saying that.]
Just gonna... float here a bit...
[He'll keep going later... let him get his breath back first.]
[it's a true statement, while she still has energy to keep going - slowly, she's been getting stronger. her endurance is growing, and that's all she needs - the rest is a side benefit.
...
turning to float herself, she thinks that now he's exhausted, she can delve into the real reason they're here. the trick that she's played isn't quite nice, but she thinks it's deserved, with the smoldering embers of hurt in her, the hairline crack she's grown around him that blooms from trust.]
Hey...Shin...
[she uses his name because they are alone, and it is a gift he gave her for those moments of privacy. of honesty.]
About Friday...I don't know what to believe anymore. Lucifer told me that so many people were saved, but then I know so many people died by others' hands. I heard the sounds of them dying, before I had to go.
[she exhales, and if it sounds a bit heavy, she knows. this is designed in a way that she hates - but if he's lied to her, then he deserves it. if he's a ruthless killer who wouldn't even have a reason to do it, he deserves it.]
Maybe I just don't want to believe so ill of my friends, to kill just because someone told them to.
[did you kill them? does she have to ask it again?]
[He has been, a little, hasn't he? It's weird to realize given he's unconsciously set himself to a baseline but, he has been getting a little stronger huh. He's pleased.]
Huh? Yeah?
[He can't really lift his head while floating, but he can turn it. Despite being on a hair trigger in such matters, he hasn't yet realized the trap; it's not unusual for them to talk while resting like this. He's listening... but what she called up starts to draw back as she goes on.]
B-best if you don't think about it... Not like anything can be done about it now...
[Shin's a bit unaware of just how callous this way of thinking of his comes off. It's not like he doesn't care... he just sees it as realistic, logical; the past is another country, and nobody has a passport to it to change it. What's done is done... but it's also a little hypocritical of him when he himself absolutely judges people by the past... and hates people who try to pretend those actions never happened.
It's also a little telling, him telling Helena of all people not to think about it.]
...It was either that, or get it done for them. Your friends probably wanted to make it quick.
[He heard that being discussed, in the faculty meeting. It had made something already glowing molten in the pit of him even more hot and sick because were they even trying; some fire that he was surprised to realize he had or... still had? It comes through in his tone despite himself, just a little bitter heat haze on the word.]
[softly spoken, correcting his course as surely as if she had tapped her cane to his lips. he is in that number. he needs to remember this. she doesn't want to give him away, to cut him off and bleed and bleed until it hardens like tree sap over wounds, but she will if she has to, and cry until her tears turn to amber.]
Instead of leaving it in the hands of others...how did you do it?
[Winter break means at least there's no need to wait for school to be out before heading up to a mysterious roof-summons, but the sun is still hanging low in the sky and the chill of evening is nipping at the heels of it despite it being technically the afternoon. He's got one of his new cat ear beanies on and has stuffed his second scarf inside his jacket for extra insulation, the dangle of some tassels peeking out from the hem.]
So, Sara... what's so secret we're meeting all the way up here?
[He's got that smile on his face but he's nervous; hiding it artfully, but he can't not be. Sara being serious about things gets that reaction. He's got a bad feeling about this. He knows there's things she hasn't told him about Midori's floors... or did something happen here, in Yogen? Or is this... more like why Nao came to him, some kind of scheme?]
Edited (he wants it to be a scheme) 2021-12-23 09:49 (UTC)
[After she left Sou that note this morning, Sara had kept herself scarce. She'd stood up here for a while, looking out over the school and forests. She's got her own coat hands bundled up in her pockets as she turns to look at Sou as he approaches.
Her own smile is nervous, but who knows if thats in the way Sou can see. ]
Look, the snow is nice isn't it? It makes everything look quiet, like a dream.
[ She's stalling...but the sun looks so pretty reflecting against the snow. It's a nice evening, after a nice christmas, after a very hard month. For a second, Sara inhales, and tries to savor this one moment. ]
You've been a really good friend, you know that right? I'm glad I got to befriend Sou Hiyori here...to see this side of you.
['Meet me on the roof'... it's very vague. Maybe he was unconsciously stalling a little as well.
She starts talking. Sara's always been a little hard for him to read, which has never helped in the spiking paranoia stakes, and even after six months of interaction that's only improved so much. The nervousness he misses, but the way she's talking... The corners of his own smile don't fall so much as they... start to calcify, a little.]
...
A good friend, huh... [Oh, so you'll do it? You're such a good friend, Shin! He swats the thought away, hard. Something feels like it's turning into chalk, underneath his heart.] Quit talking like one of us is going to die.
[It's a strange, direct sharpness... unlike him, maybe? He's not entirely sure what's like him, anymore, these days. But he's not telling her to get to the point. It's certain now; it's bad.]
I...um...right...right! [ What was she thinking??? Sou was too smart for her to talk like this! ] I just wanted to say it all of a sudden, sorry! I'm not planning to die!
[ Is she ever? Her flustered expression sobers up. ]
I just...I've been happy. It's been nice... [ Now its mumbled, more to herself. Stalling...stalling. She doesn't want to say the next part, hasn't wanted to say it for almost a year. It's just...she can't...she can't be this person anymore. She's made to many promises. If she befriended so many people, swore up and down she would change, tried her best to face Joe, and heard Sou's own secrets...she can't live in these lies. Coming clean is all she has, an ice brick path up too the place she wants to go. She's not expecting redemption. She just wants to be somewhere that isn't here.
She sticks her hands in her pockets. Slowly, Sara leans down and places the now empty revolver on the ground and kicks it, sending it skittering off into the snow. There. Here she stands, without a weapon on her person, clear for him to see. When she looks back up at Sou, her eyes are as steely as they'd been in any main game debate.]
I've been lying to you for a really long time now, Sou. A really big, terrible lie, about our second vote.
[But it's muttered, aside. The chill that's seeping into his bones is too liquid to be just from the air around them. Nothing's changed. The sun on the snow is still beautiful... but the dream is shifting into frost. It... hurts, already.]
Stop it... Why are you doing this...
[It's quiet, unbidden, strained. The light goes through the powder kicked up, shines off the metal, as steely as the gaze he forces himself to meet, like he always has, because if he doesn't he'll get run over.]
I-I don't want to know!
[His hands are already thrown out, distressed. It's the protest of a child, one last ditch effort of preservation of something already crumbling. Shadows are already gathering on the snow, deepening, waiting for him...]
[ He doesn't want to know. Close your eyes, turn away...she remembers a conversation about if a harsh truth was better then a kind lie. She didn't have an answer then, but she knows this. Sometimes, even the kindest lies aren't worth keeping.
Because...because... ]
No, I refuse. I can't keep taking advantage of you, Sou!
[ It feels strange, to see him almost cowering. She'd been so afraid of this moment, so why now, is she the one standing tall? Keeping her composure at a time like this...she really was strange. ]
I should have said it right at the start, the second I realized you didn't know. I was afraid...I always excuse it by saying I'm afraid. Leading you on, letting you assume what you remembered was true...I'm sorry. I really am.
[ A single puff of frosty air. She struggles to find the right words, to hew the bluntness of her tone, but theres no way to say it well. ]
I killed Kanna... In that trial, I didn't listen to you at all.
[ Later in the evening, Shin will hear a knock on his door. Ranger will wait a few seconds, and if he doesn't immediately answer, he'll continue - a few rhythmic knocks at a time, followed by a pause each time.
It wasn't hard to figure out that something had happened, and he could have started with either one of them, but between the two this is the one he's more worried about right now.
[Shin is an unhappy lump in his bed, under two blankets and curled around his pillow because he gave his cat plush to Noah and the ones Sara left (non-cat ones) are part of the structural components of this nest.
He's not really sleeping, but he's not really awake either, just sort of marinating in a haze. The knocking makes him jolt, lifting his head and his hand, tucked under him, rubs the beads of the eye keychain and finds the yes, two keys, clipped there in reassurance. He locked the door... it's fine. It should be fine. He lets his head thump back onto the pillow, eyes open.
Closes them after the third knock... tighter after the fourth knock... pulls the pillow over his head and waits through the seventh, eighth, ninth.
Eventually Ranger hears a hoarse yell from the other side of the door.]
I'm not letting you back in, Sara!
[If she forgot something, then tough! She stole his lantern and the cat stocking, so anything of hers left in here's his now, she had her chance to move everything. The shout breaks off into harsh, hacking coughing.]
[ His hand stops a few inches away from the door. The tone gives him a little pause. Positive emotions or no, Ranger isn't the best with emotional affairs. Still, of the two Shin is the one more likely to hole himself up and not let anyone in, so somebody has to be the one to reach out to him. It's not like he can understand the two of them, having been on the opposite side of the game, but he at least knows what they went through - what had been planned for them, right down to every execution that could have been experienced.
That's how he's able to justify making Shin settle for him, anyway, because it seems like anyone else would be better for this task. ]
Nope, guess again.
[ If it were her, she'd probably have started shouting or something. ]
It's Ranger. I dunno where Sara is, haven't seen her around.
[ He stops there, waiting to see if he'll be immediately rejected... Well, it's not like he plans on leaving if he is. ]
[She probably would have started shouting... but Shin's sense of her is all out of wack now. He'd genuinely not expected her to do this, thought that it would stay in the realm of death game nightmares, so now anything is on the table. She was strangely quiet when they ran into each other earlier as well... and there was also that one time she kept poking him while he was busy.
He gets his breathing, his shaking frame under control, staring ahead at the bedroom wall.]
Ranger...
[It's a rasped mutter and he lets his head thunk onto the mattress and just lies there for a bit before slowly, reluctantly, picking his way piecemeal out from under the covers and climbing down the ladder, resisting the urge to glance at the lower bunk and schlepping his way to the door.]
What do you want?
[His voice is a little clearer now, although still awful. This is familiar... negotiating through a door.]
[ It is perhaps a little too direct for the situation, but Ranger is nothing if not honest. There doesn't seem to be any malice behind the words, and if anything it's a little softer than his usual flat tone, even. After a few seconds, he seems to realize that may be a bit harsh. His hand drops as he adds, ]
Unless you have somebody else. But you oughta talk to somebody.
[ He looks off to the side, shifting his weight from foot to foot to try and work off some of the restless energy. It's fine if it's not him, but if left to his own devices he'll probably just keep burrowing in a blanket nest or something - so, somebody. ]
[But if Ranger of all people is coming to his door about this... then everyone probably already knows.]
Guess she's already told you then...
[It makes the small part of him not sauteing in misery have it's heart in his mouth, because that's bad. Very bad. Why was he lying here, when she could have been saying any number of things about what happened, setting people against him, making herself look like the good guy here? He knows it, he's learnt it by now; whoever gets there first is believed, has their foot in the door regardless of protest or evidence. Whoever controls the story wins; it's harder to change something set down than to say it. That's how it works, isn't it? ...most of the time.]
Tell me, what did she have to say about it? Ahaha, I'm kinda curious!
[Ranger is... well Shin can't even believe he's a neutral party, right now, in this state. But, he might still get that information.]
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Rantaro + Kaede, Xmas Party
He is doomed, though. Socialisation and mingling is the dread fate hanging upon him. It Approaches.]
i love the icon wtf
Hey Hiyori-kun, you have a minute? There's someone I wanted to introduce you to.
sou cute...
Hi there! I'm Akamatsu Kaede, a friend of Amami-kun's. It's nice to meet you, Hiyori-kun.
[she doesn't feel bad enough to not make conversation or dissuade amami from this one.]
sou cute oh my god
Ah, I'm not busy... N-nice to meet you too, Miss Kaede.
[His smile's friendly enough, even as the eyes above it aren't directly meeting hers.]
Ahaha, Rantaro's told me about you... the ultimate pianist, right?
[He's heard Komaeda go on about ultimate this and that before, although like 'hope' this and that it's something he's used to tuning out. Rantaro was really excited to learn he was the ultimate adventurer though so... it's something fairly important he guesses?]
thought ud like it (butts enh out the way)
That's me, though... I honestly wouldn't call it an "ultimate" anything. I just like playing piano a little too much, that's all -- I'm your ordinary, every day girl otherwise.
[despite how amami hypes her up it's honestly a little embarrassing]
kaede in every thread like thanks for the intro ami you can go now
( you should hear her, hiyori-kun, she says "oh my chopin" or whatever instead of oh my god. it's a lot, but amami looks fondly amused even as he agrees. )
Akamatsu-san, this is Hiyori Sou-kun. I told you about him earlier, but he's the reason I was able to remember my talent. He can be pretty sharp, too.
( the keyword here being "can". )
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H-hey, what do you mean, 'can'?
[Honestly it says a lot that this protest is actually being said out loud and not staying safe and sound in the brackets text to only manifest as a tiny minus above Shin's head. He's trying to play it off at least... same with the reminder that people can and do talk about him when he's not around. Rantaro and Kaede apparently being from the same 'ultimates' world... he wonders if she's heard of the things he's told Shin about.]
Well, don't sell yourself short... If you like something enough to do it that much, you're gonna get good at it, right?
[Which is one of those things unknowingly clicking into place below the surface as he says it. He's not sure what to say about the piano thing in specific because most of the music he listened to was either video game music or the entire subset of electronica with various suffixes. It's unfamiliar.]
Ahaha, I'm starting to think there's no such thing as an ordinary every day person...
[Exhibit A, all of Yogen. Yes, even the NPCs.]
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Helena, 12/26 you saw nothinggggg
Couldn't we do this next week? It's just been Christmas... and finals... It's good to take breaks, right?
[He's pulling out the stops like a pipe organ.]
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[it's not ice. but it is cold, and he probably heard her squeak when she got in, but she's determined to keep this up - or at least use this day to a purpose. honestly, she doesn't know what to believe right now, but they have a routine to keep to.
and Helena has questions for him that she can only ask after he's pushed himself swimming at least two laps.]
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It's still only a few of them before he's panting heavily, finishing with a corkscrew kickoff just to show off despite Helena a) not being able to see it and b) having heard it before, before lying on his back staring up at the ceiling. It... feels good, to be able to do something like this, the same strange feeling he was surprised to discover when gardening. Guess that's why he keeps doing this even though he wonders why he keeps doing this every time.]
Ha..... haaaa... Guess you're right...
[Honestly it's a sign of his... comfort isn't quite the right word, but settledness, that he's saying that.]
Just gonna... float here a bit...
[He'll keep going later... let him get his breath back first.]
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[it's a true statement, while she still has energy to keep going - slowly, she's been getting stronger. her endurance is growing, and that's all she needs - the rest is a side benefit.
...
turning to float herself, she thinks that now he's exhausted, she can delve into the real reason they're here. the trick that she's played isn't quite nice, but she thinks it's deserved, with the smoldering embers of hurt in her, the hairline crack she's grown around him that blooms from trust.]
Hey...Shin...
[she uses his name because they are alone, and it is a gift he gave her for those moments of privacy. of honesty.]
About Friday...I don't know what to believe anymore. Lucifer told me that so many people were saved, but then I know so many people died by others' hands. I heard the sounds of them dying, before I had to go.
[she exhales, and if it sounds a bit heavy, she knows. this is designed in a way that she hates - but if he's lied to her, then he deserves it. if he's a ruthless killer who wouldn't even have a reason to do it, he deserves it.]
Maybe I just don't want to believe so ill of my friends, to kill just because someone told them to.
[did you kill them? does she have to ask it again?]
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[He has been, a little, hasn't he? It's weird to realize given he's unconsciously set himself to a baseline but, he has been getting a little stronger huh. He's pleased.]
Huh? Yeah?
[He can't really lift his head while floating, but he can turn it. Despite being on a hair trigger in such matters, he hasn't yet realized the trap; it's not unusual for them to talk while resting like this. He's listening... but what she called up starts to draw back as she goes on.]
B-best if you don't think about it... Not like anything can be done about it now...
[Shin's a bit unaware of just how callous this way of thinking of his comes off. It's not like he doesn't care... he just sees it as realistic, logical; the past is another country, and nobody has a passport to it to change it. What's done is done... but it's also a little hypocritical of him when he himself absolutely judges people by the past... and hates people who try to pretend those actions never happened.
It's also a little telling, him telling Helena of all people not to think about it.]
...It was either that, or get it done for them. Your friends probably wanted to make it quick.
[He heard that being discussed, in the faculty meeting. It had made something already glowing molten in the pit of him even more hot and sick because were they even trying; some fire that he was surprised to realize he had or... still had? It comes through in his tone despite himself, just a little bitter heat haze on the word.]
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[softly spoken, correcting his course as surely as if she had tapped her cane to his lips. he is in that number. he needs to remember this. she doesn't want to give him away, to cut him off and bleed and bleed until it hardens like tree sap over wounds, but she will if she has to, and cry until her tears turn to amber.]
Instead of leaving it in the hands of others...how did you do it?
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god this really is a yttd style word battle
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cw remembering gruesome death?
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Sara, 12/30
So, Sara... what's so secret we're meeting all the way up here?
[He's got that smile on his face but he's nervous; hiding it artfully, but he can't not be. Sara being serious about things gets that reaction. He's got a bad feeling about this. He knows there's things she hasn't told him about Midori's floors... or did something happen here, in Yogen? Or is this... more like why Nao came to him, some kind of scheme?]
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[After she left Sou that note this morning, Sara had kept herself scarce. She'd stood up here for a while, looking out over the school and forests. She's got her own coat hands bundled up in her pockets as she turns to look at Sou as he approaches.
Her own smile is nervous, but who knows if thats in the way Sou can see. ]
Look, the snow is nice isn't it? It makes everything look quiet, like a dream.
[ She's stalling...but the sun looks so pretty reflecting against the snow. It's a nice evening, after a nice christmas, after a very hard month. For a second, Sara inhales, and tries to savor this one moment. ]
You've been a really good friend, you know that right? I'm glad I got to befriend Sou Hiyori here...to see this side of you.
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['Meet me on the roof'... it's very vague. Maybe he was unconsciously stalling a little as well.
She starts talking. Sara's always been a little hard for him to read, which has never helped in the spiking paranoia stakes, and even after six months of interaction that's only improved so much. The nervousness he misses, but the way she's talking... The corners of his own smile don't fall so much as they... start to calcify, a little.]
...
A good friend, huh... [Oh, so you'll do it? You're such a good friend, Shin! He swats the thought away, hard. Something feels like it's turning into chalk, underneath his heart.] Quit talking like one of us is going to die.
[It's a strange, direct sharpness... unlike him, maybe? He's not entirely sure what's like him, anymore, these days. But he's not telling her to get to the point. It's certain now; it's bad.]
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[ Is she ever? Her flustered expression sobers up. ]
I just...I've been happy. It's been nice... [ Now its mumbled, more to herself. Stalling...stalling. She doesn't want to say the next part, hasn't wanted to say it for almost a year. It's just...she can't...she can't be this person anymore. She's made to many promises. If she befriended so many people, swore up and down she would change, tried her best to face Joe, and heard Sou's own secrets...she can't live in these lies. Coming clean is all she has, an ice brick path up too the place she wants to go. She's not expecting redemption. She just wants to be somewhere that isn't here.
She sticks her hands in her pockets. Slowly, Sara leans down and places the now empty revolver on the ground and kicks it, sending it skittering off into the snow. There. Here she stands, without a weapon on her person, clear for him to see. When she looks back up at Sou, her eyes are as steely as they'd been in any main game debate.]
I've been lying to you for a really long time now, Sou. A really big, terrible lie, about our second vote.
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[But it's muttered, aside. The chill that's seeping into his bones is too liquid to be just from the air around them. Nothing's changed. The sun on the snow is still beautiful... but the dream is shifting into frost. It... hurts, already.]
Stop it... Why are you doing this...
[It's quiet, unbidden, strained. The light goes through the powder kicked up, shines off the metal, as steely as the gaze he forces himself to meet, like he always has, because if he doesn't he'll get run over.]
I-I don't want to know!
[His hands are already thrown out, distressed. It's the protest of a child, one last ditch effort of preservation of something already crumbling. Shadows are already gathering on the snow, deepening, waiting for him...]
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Because...because... ]
No, I refuse. I can't keep taking advantage of you, Sou!
[ It feels strange, to see him almost cowering. She'd been so afraid of this moment, so why now, is she the one standing tall? Keeping her composure at a time like this...she really was strange. ]
I should have said it right at the start, the second I realized you didn't know. I was afraid...I always excuse it by saying I'm afraid. Leading you on, letting you assume what you remembered was true...I'm sorry. I really am.
[ A single puff of frosty air. She struggles to find the right words, to hew the bluntness of her tone, but theres no way to say it well. ]
I killed Kanna... In that trial, I didn't listen to you at all.
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12/31
It wasn't hard to figure out that something had happened, and he could have started with either one of them, but between the two this is the one he's more worried about right now.
Knock, knock, knock... ]
this hurts meee
He's not really sleeping, but he's not really awake either, just sort of marinating in a haze. The knocking makes him jolt, lifting his head and his hand, tucked under him, rubs the beads of the eye keychain and finds the yes, two keys, clipped there in reassurance. He locked the door... it's fine. It should be fine. He lets his head thump back onto the pillow, eyes open.
Closes them after the third knock... tighter after the fourth knock... pulls the pillow over his head and waits through the seventh, eighth, ninth.
Eventually Ranger hears a hoarse yell from the other side of the door.]
I'm not letting you back in, Sara!
[If she forgot something, then tough! She stole his lantern and the cat stocking, so anything of hers left in here's his now, she had her chance to move everything. The shout breaks off into harsh, hacking coughing.]
me tooooo i'm upset
That's how he's able to justify making Shin settle for him, anyway, because it seems like anyone else would be better for this task. ]
Nope, guess again.
[ If it were her, she'd probably have started shouting or something. ]
It's Ranger. I dunno where Sara is, haven't seen her around.
[ He stops there, waiting to see if he'll be immediately rejected... Well, it's not like he plans on leaving if he is. ]
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He gets his breathing, his shaking frame under control, staring ahead at the bedroom wall.]
Ranger...
[It's a rasped mutter and he lets his head thunk onto the mattress and just lies there for a bit before slowly, reluctantly, picking his way piecemeal out from under the covers and climbing down the ladder, resisting the urge to glance at the lower bunk and schlepping his way to the door.]
What do you want?
[His voice is a little clearer now, although still awful. This is familiar... negotiating through a door.]
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[ It is perhaps a little too direct for the situation, but Ranger is nothing if not honest. There doesn't seem to be any malice behind the words, and if anything it's a little softer than his usual flat tone, even. After a few seconds, he seems to realize that may be a bit harsh. His hand drops as he adds, ]
Unless you have somebody else. But you oughta talk to somebody.
[ He looks off to the side, shifting his weight from foot to foot to try and work off some of the restless energy. It's fine if it's not him, but if left to his own devices he'll probably just keep burrowing in a blanket nest or something - so, somebody. ]
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Talk about what?
[But if Ranger of all people is coming to his door about this... then everyone probably already knows.]
Guess she's already told you then...
[It makes the small part of him not sauteing in misery have it's heart in his mouth, because that's bad. Very bad. Why was he lying here, when she could have been saying any number of things about what happened, setting people against him, making herself look like the good guy here? He knows it, he's learnt it by now; whoever gets there first is believed, has their foot in the door regardless of protest or evidence. Whoever controls the story wins; it's harder to change something set down than to say it. That's how it works, isn't it? ...most of the time.]
Tell me, what did she have to say about it? Ahaha, I'm kinda curious!
[Ranger is... well Shin can't even believe he's a neutral party, right now, in this state. But, he might still get that information.]
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