[It's moments like this, lying on his back in a pool and succeeding at something he's realized too late he doesn't want, that he wishes there was an ocean purely so that he could go walk into it.]
Asked by who?
...
Nevermind. It's not like it matters, anyway...
[It's a puff of defeated, exhaled air. Maybe it's a good thing, if she thinks this about him. He's the sort who uses people and gets them killed, and even if he didn't in this particular case he only ever seems to hurt her. It hurts, a burning stripe in his chest, but it's probably for the best she knows now, and acts accordingly.]
[wait. wait. even through her tears, her hurt, something also isn't adding up here.
can you keep a secret?
why does it matter if you know?
it doesn't make sense, doesn't reconcile with a man who's so desperate to live that he'd hide behind another name, a man who knows he's physically weak and another easier target like her. it would be simpler to paint himself as a coward who let another teacher do it. not someone who'd scheme and kill nine people by burning them alive. in this school, to be dangerous is not always strength. they survive by staying low, low.
her breathing slowly evens some, and she wipes her face, though it's rather useless, water in water.]
...Shin?
[there are a lot of questions in his name. the thread of hope she'll wind about her wrist - the bad that happens is so that hope can overcome it...
why did he confess so easily to something even the devil didn't wish to do?]
[if he knew what she was trying to do earlier, why did he let go?
...
she lets go of the ladder, and gathers up the remaining pieces of her heart. by the sound, she can judge where Shin is - and Helena dives, swims to him, to resurface next to him. to try and take his hand again.]
[don't let go. don't pull away from her. please. say anything, but don't let go. she's putting pieces together, feeling where they go, even when her heart is bleeding tree sap in multiple places - using it to stick the pieces back together.
[It's a strange, painful relief, that feels selfish to even have. She's clever, she's working it out... His ears are pricked; the problem is now not whether she knows or not, but how to convey it when he feels watched.]
Ahaha... did I, I wonder? Someone had to, right? [Shut up shut up shut up.] Otherwise... what would happen?
[Why is he like this.]
It takes a while for the paperwork to go through, doesn't it?
[As an explanation and apology, it kind of sucks.]
[he'll feel how her hand tightens on his, see how she's struggling when the pieces are before her, going through yet another shift in emotion. questions she can't ask, even though she knows there's no teachers here, struggling with the outcome. she wants to hit him in the chest, wants to shake him, wants to cry all over again. there's too much, and she's furious for a different reason, yet drained from everything earlier...
Shin will hear that her voice is still quiet, but firm for the moment.]
[This... really isn't the best place for this sort of thing, no, although is there ever? He's ready to faceplant onto a mattress.]
Let's go back... S-sorry, Helena.
[He wouldn't blame her if she'd just left, or did any of those things in that text box up there, but he goes with her to the ladder, letting her hold his hand for as long as it's practical what with climbing concerns etc. Time to head back to the dorms.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Asked by who?
...
Nevermind. It's not like it matters, anyway...
[It's a puff of defeated, exhaled air. Maybe it's a good thing, if she thinks this about him. He's the sort who uses people and gets them killed, and even if he didn't in this particular case he only ever seems to hurt her. It hurts, a burning stripe in his chest, but it's probably for the best she knows now, and acts accordingly.]
no subject
[wait. wait. even through her tears, her hurt, something also isn't adding up here.
can you keep a secret?
why does it matter if you know?
it doesn't make sense, doesn't reconcile with a man who's so desperate to live that he'd hide behind another name, a man who knows he's physically weak and another easier target like her. it would be simpler to paint himself as a coward who let another teacher do it. not someone who'd scheme and kill nine people by burning them alive. in this school, to be dangerous is not always strength. they survive by staying low, low.
her breathing slowly evens some, and she wipes her face, though it's rather useless, water in water.]
...Shin?
[there are a lot of questions in his name. the thread of hope she'll wind about her wrist - the bad that happens is so that hope can overcome it...
why did he confess so easily to something even the devil didn't wish to do?]
no subject
....Still here?
[One of those double meanings again. She's been at the ladder for a while now...]
no subject
...
she lets go of the ladder, and gathers up the remaining pieces of her heart. by the sound, she can judge where Shin is - and Helena dives, swims to him, to resurface next to him. to try and take his hand again.]
no subject
[This time, he'll let her. The tail of the wetsuit's cord snakes in the water as he adjusts position.]
no subject
[don't let go. don't pull away from her. please. say anything, but don't let go. she's putting pieces together, feeling where they go, even when her heart is bleeding tree sap in multiple places - using it to stick the pieces back together.
don't let go.]
no subject
Ahaha... did I, I wonder? Someone had to, right? [Shut up shut up shut up.] Otherwise... what would happen?
[Why is he like this.]
It takes a while for the paperwork to go through, doesn't it?
[As an explanation and apology, it kind of sucks.]
no subject
Shin will hear that her voice is still quiet, but firm for the moment.]
...I want to go back.
[we are going back. this is his penance.]
no subject
[This... really isn't the best place for this sort of thing, no, although is there ever? He's ready to faceplant onto a mattress.]
Let's go back... S-sorry, Helena.
[He wouldn't blame her if she'd just left, or did any of those things in that text box up there, but he goes with her to the ladder, letting her hold his hand for as long as it's practical what with climbing concerns etc. Time to head back to the dorms.]