[ She's genuinely apologetic, but she can't keep the sharpness out when he says that. If Gin is just a kid, then Sou can figure this out on his own. Of course he could have bullied Gin into killing him. Gin could have been a deciding vote, instead of Sara, and he could carry Sou's death around with him forever. He was scared of that, anyone at the trial could have seen it. So, maybe to Sou it's not obvious, but Sara had to. She couldn't sit by and watch that happen. Sara likes to think Sou would have done the same, if it had been Kanna who had to choose who to kill, but he did use Kanna quite harshly in that first trial. ]
Because...it just is. [ The second Keiji pressed a gun into her hands, it seemed like this was her. She did it, because nobody else would. In a majority vote, nobody is really equal at all. She hates that its always her, but she couldn't let that go. ] I don't know Sou, I told you I wasn't good. The person he wanted wasn't dead at all.
[ Running a hand through her own hair, wrenching her eyes away for Sou. The beanie flops down wet and Sara had the hysterical thought she should walk over and pick it up for him, before it gets too wet. Sara doesn't move. ]
It doesn't matter what you did or didn't know, really. [ Her voice pitches down, turning smaller as she struggles to keep her blunt composure. It may seem an obvious choice to Sou, but it was unbearable, agonizing one for Sara. One with no good answer. ] It wouldn't have been worth it. I understand that now. I didn't want you to die, I still don't Sou. You make it hard, but you're a good person. But...I exploited something, didn't I? I broke something important. So it was wrong. I can't do it again.
[ It's hard, to put her words on morals. Kanna is young, but she doesn't feel like as much as a child to Sara as she does to Sou. "Because she was a child" feels to simple. It was worse, somehow. The reason why is hard to voice. It might boil down to; the person who picks like that is someone I don't want to be. Because there was a kind of a love on the line that Sara didn't know how to measure, when she'd tried to fall back on cold logic to pick. ]
[It's not obvious, he's too close to it for it to be. Vote for who you hate... The villain getting their comeuppance... isn't that how it's supposed to work? Can't that be enough of a salve? If Kanna and Gin's places were swapped, he likes to think he wouldn't have hesitated to press this either, just changed his arguments, been a little more uncertain and hating himself for that. Gin was scared and unsure, but...
'It's not like I want him to die'. Why. Why is that so important, that it has to keep coming up again and again? Why does that matter more than Kanna? It's cruel painful irony, the idea he was so wrong at the very start... it's what made him want to try here, in Yogen, and it's like a dagger now.]
It's not like I wanted to die either! I-I had a plan, okay?? What, did you think I was going to just let them kill me? And you just- You both just...
[Gripping his head again. He's vibrating like a string, all taut energy that can't earth anywhere. His voice is going a little hoarse and he swallows. Why is he arguing like he can still change the outcome?]
You. You really don't get it, do you? You have no idea...
[It's thin like mountain air, disbelievingly angry. 'Broke something'. 'Exploited something'. It's not just that she doesn't have an answer, it's that she doesn't know. Saying that it's wrong, without knowing why... is that worse or better than someone who does but doesn't care? It's making something in him crunch up like an aluminium can on a metal shredder, because he can't put that something into words himself but it shouldn't be talked about so vaguely. For the first time, Shin had been depended on instead of depending on others... it's easier to shy away from the thought, and pretend it's because it's something that anyone should have done. Should have, but didn't, because that's not the way the world actually works.]
So that's it, is it? All just a whim... Ahaha, I guess it's too late for regrets.
[She knows that now, and that going back in his face burns like acid. But that's what's really painful about this, because this is some other... timeline? Universe?'s Sara, and it's some other him that's potentially still alive out there. His Kanna is, if not safe and sound, not already dead, but some other Kanna is and the difference is. On that day, in that moment, Sara might as well have flipped a coin. It makes any regard he had for that decision sour in hindsight.]
How'd the third main game turn out for you, Sara? [Very good it doesn't seem.] Did you have fun?
[ He can't change the outcome. He can tell Sara he had a plan, run over the same arguments about how worthless his life was in comparisons to Kanna's, but all Sara can do is stand and let him say it. ]
Isn't it enough that I'm sorry? [ It's a warbling cry that comes out wrong, too blunt and honest for the tact she's trying to show. So what if she has no idea? So what if she can't take it back. She regrets it, from the bottom of his heart, and can't Sou see that? Can't he accept the truth it took Sara six months to find the courage to tell him.
Just a whim...how could he say it like that. It hurts worse then everything else. Did she have time for anything other then gut instinct?]
The...third game? [ It's such a shift, Sara doesn't have time to even consider why Sou is asking. She looks back at him, hands creeping up to hold her arms as the chill of the conversation sets in. What does this have to do with Kanna or her lies? ] Huh? What are you talking about? I didn't get there. I killed Midori, and then I woke up here.
[ Sara takes a step back for the first time. Snow crunches and she shivers slightly. Her memories are sure and steady, yet somehow her voice sounds unsure. ]
[She's sorry, huh? What does she mean by 'enough'? Enough for what? Forgiveness?]
Wouldn't be the first time you'd forgotten something, now would it?
[It's leaking, dripping anger, searching for a way down to ground.]
Four people left... one for each card. [Oh, he hasn't forgotten Alice is dead too... that's another thing he should have wondered about, because Alice... died in the room of lies. Why is he more doomed than Shin?] I wonder how they were chosen? No doubt there was another stupid swapping game or something...
Ahaha, that card, the Sacrifice... I said it was useful, didn't I? A curse early on but with that few people... it makes an effective bribe. 'Vote for me and I'll pick you!' You've got a one in three chance... and everyone else needs to vote for the same person, including themselves, to have any hope of a different outcome. 'Two people are dying anyway'. Someone's trust got betrayed for sure!
[It's clear he's spent some time thinking about this, the card mechanics, the outcomes they can have. People are harder to predict than rules... but the rules hold a massive amount of power at that stage of the game.]
Ah, well, but it's all hypotheticals, isn't it? Because you don't remember. But I can't see Gin or Keiji not picking you to come with, or you voting for yourself so... it had to have been me. If it was between you, Keiji and Gin... I'd have picked Gin.
[Once you know one of the outcomes for sure... the rest narrows down considerably.]
But that's not surprising, is it? Considering.
[He heads over to where his beanie lies, picking the thing up between thumb and forefinger with a grimace.]
So I guess we're even! Ahahahaha... goodbye, Sara.
[Shaking it like a polaroid, if a polaroid was a sad soggy lump of cloth, he turns towards the stairwell.]
[ Sacrifice cards, final main games, Gin, Keiji, Sou, Herself. At first it doesn't make sense, some inane tangent of Shin's but then it all clicks into place like a slow draw of ice down her spine.
He thinks this how she died. One final betrayal, her against Gin and Keiji, Sou against her. He's spelling it out like an accusation...like thats her true nature, to kill and betray. So every kind word was a lie? All those times he told her not to believe things like that. After everything she tried to do, he's smugly telling her that he'd happily kill her. Maybe he'll try again, the second he leaves.
You can know you're nothing good. You can even know, that there are probably lows you'd sink to that you don't want to consider. You can know...deep down...that other people are probably the same. That you're no good but other people might be worse, or the same, or only a little better. You can know that, but Sara can't believe it for a second. It's all so horribly wrong.
Sara was closer to the edge of the roof then Sou, so in retrieving his beanie, he has to walk past her. As he does, the motions come smooth and unbidden. ]
Shin Tsukimi!!!! [ It's easy, a hand connects with wool, her feet shift in the snow and she dragging him back with enough force to send him flying back into the snow. Her hands go with him, sinking down in expensive fabric, holding something fragile and beating. She's been on the other side of this, she knows where to put her thumbs, how to press. She's red faced and furious, staring down at Shin with a dark rimmed gaze. ]
You'd think I'd kill Keiji? [ He doesn't know. He doesn't know anything at all. She nearly killed Gin for him, signed her own life away, killed Ranmaru. He didn't know, he didn't get it. Keiji, Gin, the only people she had left. If anything happened to them, Sara wouldn't have anything left. So she'd kill them then, just like that? Is that what he thinks? Is that what he thinks? After all she tried to do? ] I'd betray Gin? I'd trust you? Take it back you...you asshole! You don't get to walk away like this!
[ She sniffles, vision blurring so much she can barely see Shin beneath her. Her grip is as tight as ever. ] You don't know a thing about me. I tried my best. Why do you get to lie to me, Shin? Why is it okay if you kill me?
[He's not expecting it at all; just like before and way back when he's brought the knife of words to the gunfight of physical violence. It's all so sudden, blindsided, finding himself flying and impacting on cold with a jar of teeth, dizzy, barely any time to process what just happened and try to move before she's on him.]
Urghk! Gah!
[His heart is a rabbit's beat, trying to push her off. Why is this familiar? Thought isn't seeping in; it's pure animal instinct that has him clawing at his neck, her hands, knees drawn up as he strains for the slightest millimeter of air. There's talking, shouting but it's increasingly underwater, fuzzy, at a remove, distilled down to 'at him'. The figure over him is a blurry shadow stark against the bright snow and bright sky.]
It... hurts... Hiyori!
[Involuntary tears are beading up in his eyes. He's going to die here, this thing around his neck's going to kill him and choke him. One hand's grabbing at her wrist feebly, the other is still clawing at her, short ragged fingernails.
There's a small squeak, a strained bit of noise that might be 'please'. Or maybe 'sorry'.]
Even now, I still call you 'Sou'. That's another lie, isn't it? Just like mine, but I wanted to accept your lies too.
[ It's muttered nonsense. Sara can't even tell what she's saying any more. Everything spiraled out of her control. She tried to be mature and confess, but instead she's found herself back here again. No matter how hard she tries...
Ow, there's a twinge at her hand as something digs in. Sara blinks, a few tears dripping down off her face and onto...
Hiyori? Haha...wait...just hold on a second. ]
I-I'm not!!! [ For a second her nails dig in, a panicked spark of energy before she catches herself in a full body freeze. She jerks away from Sou like touching a hot iron, her hands held away like suddenly they might hurt her ]
I'm...I'm not. Just shut up! You wanted me to do this, you...I wouldn't do it. I'm not that awful. I wouldn't kill them. Please stop saying such awful things? I just wanted to tell you, so you'd know.
[The moments the pressure's gone he's drawing in a massive, wheezing, rasping, painful breath, head tipping back and back arching and hands hanging where they were, frozen and curled. There's a few more of these gasps before he rolls over onto shaking hands and forearms, hacking and coughing and spitting into the snow, his tears mixing with hers and falling off his face, one hand pulling and tugging and pawing at his scarf as his other palm presses down onto the roof, shaking.
His eyes flick to her. There's white all the way around the irises. The hand slowly comes down as he equally slowly pushes himself up to his feet, half-crouched, his heaving breathing still with a horrible whistling raw sound to it and gaze fixed on her like a lodestone.]
You- Aha-
[The words are raspy and break off into more coughing, shaking his frame. You've done it, Sara. He's shut up. He's stopped saying awful things. One hand shakingly goes to his neck, scrapes against the exposed skin there without his apparent input or acknowledgement, going over the bump of the scarred ring across it. It's going to bruise.
She's between him and the stairwell. Every angle and line of his body is that of something small and fluffy in the same room as a wolf; tense and pinned in place, the other hand tremoring in his jacket pocket where the knife is, more comfort than weapon. His gaze darts off her to the roof's edges, assessing - there's bushes, if he goes window by window, but it's cold and icy and he's never tried it from this high - and snaps back onto her like every second it's not trained on her is a danger.]
[ Sitting back on her heels feels like the only safe option. Her hands..she doesn't know what to do with. Meeting Shin's eyes feels impossible, but Sara can't look away. ]
Are you listening now? That's not what happened. You wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. We're going to escape...I'm going to escape. Gin and Keiji are fine.
[ She's sorry, she didn't know what came over her, she picked up to much from the wrong people. She tried so hard to be better, but in the end all it took was a little push. She wants to say it, but suddenly Sara just feels so tired looking at Shin. ]
Do you want the room? I...I'll just go...but I mean, I was going to ask before I left but you had to say that and now I don't know what you want me to do.
[Hiyori's not here, right. Just Sara, and himself, and the name in his mouth. He swallows thick tar. His throat feels like, well, it's closing up still, and also on fire. He's listening... Not like he has a choice. Maybe he shouldn't say that one out loud. He can take a hint from the universe, about antagonizing the person who can strangle you. The 'wouldn't you?' stays trapped behind his teeth.]
Aha... ahaha....
[It hurts to laugh, but... it's just so funny, even though nothing about this is funny at all.]
I'd... been... thinking... the same... thing.
[Just waiting for her to say it, that since she had her best friend now, he'd be moving in, and Shin was going to reveal he'd seen that coming and already had a room picked out... it never happened but it was always in the back of his brain, just in case, even as the occupancies shifted like tectonic plates, requiring new calculations of trust.
What does he want her to do? He doesn't even know, everything's just too much right now, adrenalin still speeding heart and ragged breath. No, he does know what he wants, what every nerve and desperate clanging copper wire of survival instinct is beaming to the back of his brain.]
Stay... away... from... me.
[He's stumbling around her, giving her a large circular berth and not turning his back to her... not until he's past the parallel of her, whereon he takes off running, lungs screaming under freezing air. There's the bang of the stairwell door, bouncing back ajar, and his scarf come loose and fallen, lying like a ribbon of blood on the snow.]
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no subject
[ She's genuinely apologetic, but she can't keep the sharpness out when he says that. If Gin is just a kid, then Sou can figure this out on his own. Of course he could have bullied Gin into killing him. Gin could have been a deciding vote, instead of Sara, and he could carry Sou's death around with him forever. He was scared of that, anyone at the trial could have seen it. So, maybe to Sou it's not obvious, but Sara had to. She couldn't sit by and watch that happen. Sara likes to think Sou would have done the same, if it had been Kanna who had to choose who to kill, but he did use Kanna quite harshly in that first trial. ]
Because...it just is. [ The second Keiji pressed a gun into her hands, it seemed like this was her. She did it, because nobody else would. In a majority vote, nobody is really equal at all. She hates that its always her, but she couldn't let that go. ] I don't know Sou, I told you I wasn't good. The person he wanted wasn't dead at all.
[ Running a hand through her own hair, wrenching her eyes away for Sou. The beanie flops down wet and Sara had the hysterical thought she should walk over and pick it up for him, before it gets too wet. Sara doesn't move. ]
It doesn't matter what you did or didn't know, really. [ Her voice pitches down, turning smaller as she struggles to keep her blunt composure. It may seem an obvious choice to Sou, but it was unbearable, agonizing one for Sara. One with no good answer. ] It wouldn't have been worth it. I understand that now. I didn't want you to die, I still don't Sou. You make it hard, but you're a good person. But...I exploited something, didn't I? I broke something important. So it was wrong. I can't do it again.
[ It's hard, to put her words on morals. Kanna is young, but she doesn't feel like as much as a child to Sara as she does to Sou. "Because she was a child" feels to simple. It was worse, somehow. The reason why is hard to voice. It might boil down to; the person who picks like that is someone I don't want to be. Because there was a kind of a love on the line that Sara didn't know how to measure, when she'd tried to fall back on cold logic to pick. ]
no subject
'It's not like I want him to die'. Why. Why is that so important, that it has to keep coming up again and again? Why does that matter more than Kanna? It's cruel painful irony, the idea he was so wrong at the very start... it's what made him want to try here, in Yogen, and it's like a dagger now.]
It's not like I wanted to die either! I-I had a plan, okay?? What, did you think I was going to just let them kill me? And you just- You both just...
[Gripping his head again. He's vibrating like a string, all taut energy that can't earth anywhere. His voice is going a little hoarse and he swallows. Why is he arguing like he can still change the outcome?]
You. You really don't get it, do you? You have no idea...
[It's thin like mountain air, disbelievingly angry. 'Broke something'. 'Exploited something'. It's not just that she doesn't have an answer, it's that she doesn't know. Saying that it's wrong, without knowing why... is that worse or better than someone who does but doesn't care? It's making something in him crunch up like an aluminium can on a metal shredder, because he can't put that something into words himself but it shouldn't be talked about so vaguely. For the first time, Shin had been depended on instead of depending on others... it's easier to shy away from the thought, and pretend it's because it's something that anyone should have done. Should have, but didn't, because that's not the way the world actually works.]
So that's it, is it? All just a whim... Ahaha, I guess it's too late for regrets.
[She knows that now, and that going back in his face burns like acid. But that's what's really painful about this, because this is some other... timeline? Universe?'s Sara, and it's some other him that's potentially still alive out there. His Kanna is, if not safe and sound, not already dead, but some other Kanna is and the difference is. On that day, in that moment, Sara might as well have flipped a coin. It makes any regard he had for that decision sour in hindsight.]
How'd the third main game turn out for you, Sara? [Very good it doesn't seem.] Did you have fun?
no subject
Isn't it enough that I'm sorry? [ It's a warbling cry that comes out wrong, too blunt and honest for the tact she's trying to show. So what if she has no idea? So what if she can't take it back. She regrets it, from the bottom of his heart, and can't Sou see that? Can't he accept the truth it took Sara six months to find the courage to tell him.
Just a whim...how could he say it like that. It hurts worse then everything else. Did she have time for anything other then gut instinct?]
The...third game? [ It's such a shift, Sara doesn't have time to even consider why Sou is asking. She looks back at him, hands creeping up to hold her arms as the chill of the conversation sets in. What does this have to do with Kanna or her lies? ] Huh? What are you talking about? I didn't get there. I killed Midori, and then I woke up here.
[ Sara takes a step back for the first time. Snow crunches and she shivers slightly. Her memories are sure and steady, yet somehow her voice sounds unsure. ]
no subject
Wouldn't be the first time you'd forgotten something, now would it?
[It's leaking, dripping anger, searching for a way down to ground.]
Four people left... one for each card. [Oh, he hasn't forgotten Alice is dead too... that's another thing he should have wondered about, because Alice... died in the room of lies. Why is he more doomed than Shin?] I wonder how they were chosen? No doubt there was another stupid swapping game or something...
Ahaha, that card, the Sacrifice... I said it was useful, didn't I? A curse early on but with that few people... it makes an effective bribe. 'Vote for me and I'll pick you!' You've got a one in three chance... and everyone else needs to vote for the same person, including themselves, to have any hope of a different outcome. 'Two people are dying anyway'. Someone's trust got betrayed for sure!
[It's clear he's spent some time thinking about this, the card mechanics, the outcomes they can have. People are harder to predict than rules... but the rules hold a massive amount of power at that stage of the game.]
Ah, well, but it's all hypotheticals, isn't it? Because you don't remember. But I can't see Gin or Keiji not picking you to come with, or you voting for yourself so... it had to have been me. If it was between you, Keiji and Gin... I'd have picked Gin.
[Once you know one of the outcomes for sure... the rest narrows down considerably.]
But that's not surprising, is it? Considering.
[He heads over to where his beanie lies, picking the thing up between thumb and forefinger with a grimace.]
So I guess we're even! Ahahahaha... goodbye, Sara.
[Shaking it like a polaroid, if a polaroid was a sad soggy lump of cloth, he turns towards the stairwell.]
no subject
He thinks this how she died. One final betrayal, her against Gin and Keiji, Sou against her. He's spelling it out like an accusation...like thats her true nature, to kill and betray. So every kind word was a lie? All those times he told her not to believe things like that. After everything she tried to do, he's smugly telling her that he'd happily kill her. Maybe he'll try again, the second he leaves.
You can know you're nothing good. You can even know, that there are probably lows you'd sink to that you don't want to consider. You can know...deep down...that other people are probably the same. That you're no good but other people might be worse, or the same, or only a little better. You can know that, but Sara can't believe it for a second. It's all so horribly wrong.
Sara was closer to the edge of the roof then Sou, so in retrieving his beanie, he has to walk past her. As he does, the motions come smooth and unbidden. ]
Shin Tsukimi!!!! [ It's easy, a hand connects with wool, her feet shift in the snow and she dragging him back with enough force to send him flying back into the snow. Her hands go with him, sinking down in expensive fabric, holding something fragile and beating. She's been on the other side of this, she knows where to put her thumbs, how to press. She's red faced and furious, staring down at Shin with a dark rimmed gaze. ]
You'd think I'd kill Keiji? [ He doesn't know. He doesn't know anything at all. She nearly killed Gin for him, signed her own life away, killed Ranmaru. He didn't know, he didn't get it. Keiji, Gin, the only people she had left. If anything happened to them, Sara wouldn't have anything left. So she'd kill them then, just like that? Is that what he thinks? Is that what he thinks? After all she tried to do? ] I'd betray Gin? I'd trust you? Take it back you...you asshole! You don't get to walk away like this!
[ She sniffles, vision blurring so much she can barely see Shin beneath her. Her grip is as tight as ever. ] You don't know a thing about me. I tried my best. Why do you get to lie to me, Shin? Why is it okay if you kill me?
no subject
[He's not expecting it at all; just like before and way back when he's brought the knife of words to the gunfight of physical violence. It's all so sudden, blindsided, finding himself flying and impacting on cold with a jar of teeth, dizzy, barely any time to process what just happened and try to move before she's on him.]
Urghk! Gah!
[His heart is a rabbit's beat, trying to push her off. Why is this familiar? Thought isn't seeping in; it's pure animal instinct that has him clawing at his neck, her hands, knees drawn up as he strains for the slightest millimeter of air. There's talking, shouting but it's increasingly underwater, fuzzy, at a remove, distilled down to 'at him'. The figure over him is a blurry shadow stark against the bright snow and bright sky.]
It... hurts... Hiyori!
[Involuntary tears are beading up in his eyes. He's going to die here, this thing around his neck's going to kill him and choke him. One hand's grabbing at her wrist feebly, the other is still clawing at her, short ragged fingernails.
There's a small squeak, a strained bit of noise that might be 'please'. Or maybe 'sorry'.]
no subject
[ It's muttered nonsense. Sara can't even tell what she's saying any more. Everything spiraled out of her control. She tried to be mature and confess, but instead she's found herself back here again. No matter how hard she tries...
Ow, there's a twinge at her hand as something digs in. Sara blinks, a few tears dripping down off her face and onto...
Hiyori? Haha...wait...just hold on a second. ]
I-I'm not!!! [ For a second her nails dig in, a panicked spark of energy before she catches herself in a full body freeze. She jerks away from Sou like touching a hot iron, her hands held away like suddenly they might hurt her ]
I'm...I'm not. Just shut up! You wanted me to do this, you...I wouldn't do it. I'm not that awful. I wouldn't kill them. Please stop saying such awful things? I just wanted to tell you, so you'd know.
no subject
His eyes flick to her. There's white all the way around the irises. The hand slowly comes down as he equally slowly pushes himself up to his feet, half-crouched, his heaving breathing still with a horrible whistling raw sound to it and gaze fixed on her like a lodestone.]
You- Aha-
[The words are raspy and break off into more coughing, shaking his frame. You've done it, Sara. He's shut up. He's stopped saying awful things. One hand shakingly goes to his neck, scrapes against the exposed skin there without his apparent input or acknowledgement, going over the bump of the scarred ring across it. It's going to bruise.
She's between him and the stairwell. Every angle and line of his body is that of something small and fluffy in the same room as a wolf; tense and pinned in place, the other hand tremoring in his jacket pocket where the knife is, more comfort than weapon. His gaze darts off her to the roof's edges, assessing - there's bushes, if he goes window by window, but it's cold and icy and he's never tried it from this high - and snaps back onto her like every second it's not trained on her is a danger.]
no subject
[ Sitting back on her heels feels like the only safe option. Her hands..she doesn't know what to do with. Meeting Shin's eyes feels impossible, but Sara can't look away. ]
Are you listening now? That's not what happened. You wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. We're going to escape...I'm going to escape. Gin and Keiji are fine.
[ She's sorry, she didn't know what came over her, she picked up to much from the wrong people. She tried so hard to be better, but in the end all it took was a little push. She wants to say it, but suddenly Sara just feels so tired looking at Shin. ]
Do you want the room? I...I'll just go...but I mean, I was going to ask before I left but you had to say that and now I don't know what you want me to do.
no subject
Aha... ahaha....
[It hurts to laugh, but... it's just so funny, even though nothing about this is funny at all.]
I'd... been... thinking... the same... thing.
[Just waiting for her to say it, that since she had her best friend now, he'd be moving in, and Shin was going to reveal he'd seen that coming and already had a room picked out... it never happened but it was always in the back of his brain, just in case, even as the occupancies shifted like tectonic plates, requiring new calculations of trust.
What does he want her to do? He doesn't even know, everything's just too much right now, adrenalin still speeding heart and ragged breath. No, he does know what he wants, what every nerve and desperate clanging copper wire of survival instinct is beaming to the back of his brain.]
Stay... away... from... me.
[He's stumbling around her, giving her a large circular berth and not turning his back to her... not until he's past the parallel of her, whereon he takes off running, lungs screaming under freezing air. There's the bang of the stairwell door, bouncing back ajar, and his scarf come loose and fallen, lying like a ribbon of blood on the snow.]