yogen | THE CHRISTMAS MINGLE YOUR PARENTS WARNED YOU ABOUT

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obey me: lucifer

THE CHRISTMAS MINGLE YOUR PARENTS WARNED YOU ABOUT

At some point in the night, taking advantage of the perma-silence, Lucifer and a few others sneak about to decorate the dormitory for the holidays. The morning of 12/25, you'll wake up to the smell of Christmas cookies wafting from the dorm kitchen, and upon actually leaving your room, there are string lights and decorations thrown up in the hallways and the common room proper.

The decorating is, of course, courtesy of Nene, who has been working hard to ensure that there's something more beautiful than those ghoulish paintings on the walls here. You can thank Helena, Sidney, and Lucifer for both the cookies and other, more substantial food which will periodically be presented throughout the day — Lucifer practically lives in the kitchen for the duration of the party and can sometimes be seen shooing the other two out to go have fun. That said, the table housing all of these dishes, ranging from traditional Christmas meals (as best they can do with limited resources, anyway) to more ostentatious treats will never be empty, so please eat to your heart's content!

Thanks to Amami, there's a large, undecorated Christmas tree in the middle of the common room that looks to be very well taken care of. Next to it is a table full of art supplies for making colourful paper ornaments, and a small card lying nearby that instructs those participating to write down a wish on the ornament proper before hanging it on the tree. It may not come true, but you know it'll be safe since no mysterious forces set this up — wish away!

Should you come to spend time at the party and fraternize, you'll find that you're being waited on by a number of small little imps except they're all wearing tiny Santa hats — they'll bring you food and drinks and candy should you request it, and they're on their Best Behaviour, so please be nice to them! They are simply underpaid service workers. They're absolutely thrilled to talk to you in chirps and weird demonic chittering, and they understand what you're saying at least.

In the back corner of the room, there's a minute-to-win-it type game set up: two chairs are tied by the backs together by two ribbons, about two feet apart from one another. Nearby, there's a table of candycanes for use in this game. The goal of the game is to toss a candycane while standing on one of the chairs and get said candycane to catch on the ribbons, or to see who can get the most candycanes on a ribbon in a minute. The instructions are explained on a little card sitting nearby, with further note to not eat all of the candycanes (there are more set out on the food table, you see) so people can play, and another smaller note banning the use of magic against an opponent who doesn't have it. Let's keep the game fair, people. And let's thank Hikaru for running out to get an obnoxious amount of candycanes for everyone.

Lucifer will intermittently come join the festivities from time to time when he's not cooking, wearing this, please feel free to bully the demon for celebrating the holiday from the religion he hates. He can take it, it's okay.

Last but certainly not least, Noah is roaming about the party using his magic to try and liven the place up. Little stars hang from the ceiling around him in a ten-foot radius, and should you frown at all, he will come up to you and put cat ears formed of magic shadows on you until you laugh. On occasion, he can be seen slipping out of the party with cookies and stacking them on a plate in front of Komaeda's door. The stars go with him, but the good news is that Natsume is also helping with their little lightshow, so the twinkling indoor galaxies will not be absent for long. It's a joint effort between Clamor's apprentices, and their hard work really shows through, magic training is difficult after all. Feel free to bother either of them to do magic tricks for you, if you'd like, or just lie down under a curtain of stars.

The night promises to be magical (semi-literally), even if we're all stuck in purgatory, so relax, put your feet up, and sing Christmas carols to your heart's content. And don't worry about the cleanup — just try not to pass out on the floors.

[OOC: Merr Crimmus try not to kill each other, that is my only request, otherwise go buck wild]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wonder why.... maybe we got a lucky set!

( they could have been preowned by someone, and then they were lucky to get them instead. now, when it comes to the genders, komaeda blinks before looking down at the set of luzons. )

They're shy, so I didn't want to handle them any sort of way.

( which means, he doesn't know, but that doesn't stop him from reaching out for one hand with his palm open, wondering if at least one will hop in, and let him inspect. )

It's best if they're the same gender, ahaha... does anyone know how to take care of baby birds?

( komaeda does, but he likes to seem useless. )

I'm guessing that you'd have an idea, or at least that you'd be able to figure it out pretty quick, since you like animals.

[ He thinks so, anyway. Rio is a little envious of how at ease he seems to be with them. It doesn't bother him, though, since he thinks that just means he can feel safe in having someone to correct him.

One of the two luzons has monopolized Rio's attention by now, and he leans into that a little more. His eyes flick to the side as the other, no longer distracted by him, seems to grow curious and abandons his lap in favor of Komaeda's hand. ]

It should be fine as long as you're paying attention, right? Don't animals show signs when they're stressed?

[ Spoken exactly like a person who has zero experience handling animal. He looks up, waiting for the answer. ]

You're right, they hold grudges too, they can treat you like humans treat each other. Isn't that interesting?

( they're part of the dove family, so they're pretty smart, and that's why the one is able to hop into komaeda's hand with ease. it trusts him, but he's always been trustworthy to animals, for some reason... they flock to him. he lifts his prosthetic hand, for once wishing he had literal touch as he brushes against the bird's beak in silent awe. )

They'll cry, pick, do whatever they need to let you know that they're frustrated.

( the luzon allows komaeda about two brushes against its beak, and then a soft "woooooo" to tell how they're feeling. he's not like his fellow ultimate peer back home, so he doesn't have that eccentric to translate, but komaeda can make up what he believes he's heard. )

It told me you have a cute nose.

Crows are the same way... Birds are pretty needy, aren't they? Well, I guess all animals are like that.

[ Speaking of, he spends enough time neglecting the bird that remained in his lap long enough by now that it's starting to peck at his fingers. He blinks, looking down, and responds by stroking it's head, gradually working his way to side where its ear is. Needy indeed.

That said... A cute nose? He looks a little puzzled by that, and his free had unconsciously comes up to touch it. ]

Birds care about things like that.

[ Not on humans anyway. ]

I was right, you are that type.

( a teensy, small lie, but he got what he was after to watch rio touch his nose. he laughs softly, index finger brushing along the beak as the luzon responds back in kind though hesitant so it's all on his terms. they're such terrified creatures who can actively shake in their grasp, he doesn't like moving too much or they'll wind up having a heart attack. )

Doves are pretty smart on their own, ( how the one responded slightly bothered when rio stopped giving it attention. ) and greedy. That could be because you're a reliable heat source.

( he lifts the bird, checking the little patch on their chest. )

Males have a brighter blood patch unlike the females.

[ That type...? What does that mean? He thinks about asking, but he probably doesn't want to know the answer. He can at least agree that he's being taken advantage of for his warmth, though. ]

Probably. They're not gonna want anything to do with me once summer hits, ahaha.

[ Since he's the same temperature regardless of season. Rio thinks to ask if that's the same reason that Komaeda clings to him, given how many nights they've spent together by now, but he doesn't want to hear the confirmation of that spoken aloud. ]

Do they?

[ He's looking down now. ]

You would cause a heat stroke, wouldn't you?

( komaeda looks over, sizing up rio's body, which causes him to laugh just a bit. when it becomes warm, that's normally when komaeda is wanted for his cool skin, he's practically the best person to huddle with around that time. how many times has he been praised for his cold body during the summer, but he has a feeling that rio's thoughts reach past the birds, and also effect how they'll sleep as well.

rio didn't ask about it, so komaeda sees no need to answer. )

If you have a tray of cool water next to you, I don't see why they wouldn't hop back and forth between.

( this one has a brighter patch, and as i finally take us out schrodinger's bird. ) I believe yours is darker.

( which answers a few questions. )

Yep. I'd kill somebody.

[ Well, he probably wouldn't kill them, but he's not the most comfortable person. He doesn't retain heat any more than he does cold, so at least he shouldn't run warm.

Finally we are free of schrodinger's bird!! ]

I'll get wet.

[ Said like he isn't already a wet cat. Even with his jacket slipped off behind him and the gloves taken off, his shirt is damp, and his pants too. He really didn't need to go out in the middle of a snowstorm. ]

Anyway, so it's one of each then?

I'm useless to you as well, even though my temperature runs low, I can't keep you cold.

( maybe if someone had a fan that was blowing while they held onto rio, it could be like snuggling up to a heating blanket, and having the cold air hit them at the same time. that's how i sleep, actually. )

You're already wet. ( that said, he should account for that too, which he'll lower his hand so that the bird can hop off, and komaeda's lips purse into a straight line as he looks back into his room. )

Do you want to wear something of mine? ( the luzon sits in front of rio now, showing off its blood mark, confirming rio's suspicions. )

[ That's honestly the ideal, somebody do that it'll be so cozy.

Rio frowns, tugging at the front of his shirt and looking down. Komaeda is right, though his face and hair are at least relatively dry thanks to him, but he can still get wetter if he has birds splashing him.

One of each sex, hmm... They would need to be careful with that. He does lean forward to offer it a couple strokes before looking to Komaeda, a little surprised by the offer. Is that really okay...? ]

Sure, if you don't mind. Pretty sure I'm gonna spend there rest of the night just drying off if I don't change into something else.

[ He wrinkles his nose at the idea. It's uncomfortable at best to sit in wet clothes, and he feels kind of disgusting. ]

Alright, come on.

( he's already to his feet, turning towards the door as he unlocks it for the door to slowly open. the light spreads into the hallway, and inside rio can see all the sticky notes that komaeda he's gained all while being trapped inside. there's all sorts of colors from white, yellow and pink, and the ones that have soot cats are laying on the floor, and also attached to the door. looking towards add's bed, he'll see a plate of cookies, and looking to another across he'll find... another set of cookies, komaeda has collected a lot.

it'll be find to let the birds hop around on the floor if he chooses to do that, but komaeda isn't worried with rio watching after them, and begins looking for spare clothes to offer. )

[ Rio scoops up the birds one at a time, starting with the one on his lap, gently setting them in the room. He supposes it might not be necessary, but the amount of stickies in the room tells him that there's been enough traffic. With that done he lifts himself off the ground, grabbing his jacket as he does so, and takes a step inside, pushing the door shut behind him and leaning back on it. He alternates between looking at the birds and Komaeda.

It really does seem like he's gotten of attention tonight, which is probably the opposite of what he had been looking for... Well, then again, he did leave the stickies out and kept responding, so maybe he didn't mind. ]

You seem like you're having fun.

[ He probably doesn't need to make things worse by sticking around, though. It should be fine if it's just for a few minutes though. ]

Hey, Nagito...

Hmm...

( he could reply to that he's having fun, but self-loathing comes after that, and he doubts that's what rio wants to hear when he came for a shirt. it does slip almost slip when he parts his mouth, but he inhales, then exhales, pursing his lips into a straight line as he keeps his mouth shut.

could he have fun? it's just sticky notes, and other little things that read, "these cookies are for you!" or that "you should come and visit komaeda!" it's things like that, but he still remained shut in his room, and only came out to talk with rio, he hasn't done that for others.

...

he lifts his head, glancing over. )

What?

[ It might because he himself doesn't tend to articulate his emotions, or perhaps just that he's used to Komaeda's manners, but he doesn't seem to be bothered by the lukewarm response. If it was nothing more than a way to kill time on an otherwise dull night, then that was enough to make it worthwhile.

He shakes his head, deciding against whatever he had intended to say. In truth, he's not quite sure what that was - Rio knows, and he doesn't, because the words all bleed together until they've formed a sickly looking puddle.

... ]

Nevermind, it's nothing.

[ Nothing in his voice suggests that he's disappointed or upset, though perhaps a touch embarrassed for having opened his mouth for nothing. He pushes himself off the door before he risks damaging any of the stickies, crouching down by the birds. ]

Hmm... What about Kuu for one of them?

[ It's a cute name, something to try and make up for failing to deliver. ]

Edited (icon) 2022-01-10 21:20 (UTC)

What's this... you're afraid of telling me what's on your mind, now?

( it's at this moment he pulls out a familiar shirt, a double of what he normally wears — a white t-shirt with a symbol stained red on the front. as he looks at it, he holds it out, closing his eyes, he thinks the spear stabbed him just below that marking, and he turns around as he walks over to rio with it. )

Kuu? Like "coo"? That's pretty simple, but fitting, Kuu... can be the girl.

( he chooses, pointing to the bird that happens to be hopping underneath the bunk bed just a few ways away. komaeda's cleaned up aside from the notes, and so he's not too worried as he holds the shirt up to rio, checking to see if it'll be a good fit. they're around the same size, so he thinks this'll be fine, and he crouches down to meet with the other; eyes staring into his own.

... )

If you have something to talk about, you can say it.

Ah, it's not that...

[ He's not immediately able to make eye contact with him. Then again, maybe it is that? It seems as though he's suddenly grown all that much more sensitive, and with that more anxious about his own thoughts. His eyebrows furrow, and there's a slight frown as he tries to work through that problem. He had known that trying to change the subject wouldn't work, Komaeda was too sharp and it was far too obvious, but he had to try.

At least the name had been accepted. He glances to the bird, pleased with that, before he's finally able to meet Komaeda's eyes. He opens and closes his mouth few times, struggling to find the right words. ]

Mmn... Did something change between us?

[ That's not the right question, and it's not what he wants to say, but it's probably as close as he can come right now. It might not be hard to guess why he's suddenly puzzled. Knowing what emotions should be there and how relationships should be defined is one thing, but it's another to start sifting through it while at the same time being aware of the feelings of others in a different way than before. He can' seem to figure out how, though, or define it as good or bad.

...

He hadn't wanted things to change, but he didn't want them to stay the same either. ]

( immediately he tries to figure out what he means by that, the comment of did something change. he looks at his shirt to find the answer, buy he thinks plain white with a splash of red isn't good at the moment. he stands back up, turning on his heel so that he puts the shirt back where he got it. he moves to the drawer next to it, and he fetches one of hinata's plain shirts instead that has nothing om the front, just as blank and expressionless as the face rio makes at komaeda. )

Do you remember how we met?

( rio coming down from the rooftop, and komaeda finding him along the way within the hallway covered by gorintos. there was a certain attitude rio had there, his aura was meant meant be overwhelming, unimpressed, and only interested in logical discussions where everything else sounds stupid, or just didn't matter. talking to him about something as meaningful as hope had always been walled by his scientific view of the world, where hope was a justification for people to do what they wanted without thinking.

he steps over one luzon, )

Try this one, but... everyone changes, so I wouldn't be surprised, but maybe it's the Christmas cheer.

( that changes everyone, especially with people coming together in this fashion during the holidays, but he doubts this is what this us about, and he tosses the shirt first, and looks for a pair of pants that'll do better. )

Is this about your emotions? ( he lifts the night pants, stretching them if they'll be a good fit, these also belong to hinata. ) When we first met, you weren't too fond of me... something was holding you back because I thought you wanted to kill me, aha!

( good memories. )

[ How they met? He remembers that as well as everything else, but he knows that's not really the point. He had been a different person than he was now. He was cooler and harsher, more withdrawn, and as he starts to undo the tie around his neck he thinks on how quickly things had changed. That was the point of creating an AI who functioned like a human, but even so, it was more than he had in three years. He starts on the buttons of his shirt, which he slips off and drops to the floor along with his hoodie before putting on the one that Komaeda had given him. ]

... Yeah.

[ Rio nods, deciding that to be the answer to both questions. He had changed over time, and he had been able to logically deduce what emotions should have gone where, but it was nothing as radical as this. It was as though everything had snapped into place, but not in the way that it should have. Rio pulls down on the shirt, feeling a touch better with one less wet clothing article clinging to his skin.

He brushes his hair out of his face. It's still just damp enough to stick to his face. When they'd met... That's right, Komaeda had experimentally pushed buttons. There were parts that he could handle, and there were bits that were comforting in their familiarity, and then there were parts that were infuriating. He wanted to kill him, and Rio might have, but... ]

Ahahaha, the first thing Sara made me do when I arrive was promise not to kill anyone... Well, it's only natural that things would change, but this feels different.

[ He'd actually promised to do any harm without a good reason, really, but he thinks a couple broken bones would have been less of an issue than a snapped neck. He stands up again. ]

Hm, then is it just me? Nothing's changed for you?

[ Rio cocks his head to one side, and it seems to be a genuine question. It's been a long time, but it's also only been a short few days, but somehow that feels like long enough for everything to change... But if it's just him, then maybe that's fine. ]

She did?

( it's not shocking to hear that sara was the one to save his inevitable death — he could hear it in rio's voice, in his actions, that if given the chance he could have killed komaeda where he stood. his body is sturdier, he's stronger, and so komaeda would have gotten away unless his luck came in to safeguard that event; it seems like it did. was it luck that sara had gotten to him before their next meeting, if she hadn't then he would probably be deader than dead.

he'll have to give sara his thanks.

as he thinks about it, he'll take rio's wet clothes, balling them up and dropping them in a clothes bin close by so he can wash them later. )

A few things, but... I've accepted them.

( komaeda lifts his right hand, allowing his jacket's sleeve to slip down showing the scarf that's tightly wrapped around his tallies. if there was any other moment in time, he thinks that he would have rejected the offer, but for some reason; he wanted to share a future with rio. it can be as simple as he thinks of it to be, or it can be just as complicated, but he doesn't have any complaints — he's satisfied for now. )

It's interesting, things have changed for me already, but they must have been stagnant for you.

( he's older now, so it's easier to admit the obvious, he pulls down his sleeve. ) Anyway, I'll give you a fun fact, do you want to hear it?

[ He nods. She had, and that single promise had altered his behavior over his time here. It was such a simple thing, a practical agreement to something that shouldn't have been an issue, but his temper has flared and he's found that to stay his hand each and every time. Having finished changing, he tugs the hope fragment out from beneath the shirt and looks at it once more. Such a simple, small thing.

Rio follows him with his eyes, and there's a pang of guilt as he watches him lift up the clothes. He hadn't thought to, but then, it felt too presumptuous to do anything else. He's not inclined to push when his partner needs space, and so he was prepared to leave if asked. ]

Mm... I don't really know how to explain it well. It's like I was full of holes, and I knew what should be filling them, and how things should be changing, but... No matter how much things changed, they still stayed the same. So I guess I'm playing catch up now.

[ Kindness, happiness, sympathy, attachment, love - all of those holes in his heart that he could never fill. Time and effort could never compensate for those deficiencies. But he had his capacity to learn, and a basic capacity for attachment, and those things had allowed him to create a patchwork that told him what went where and pretend he had them. It was emotion lived through logic, and so perhaps it was simply that he never understood those feelings at all.

It's warmer than he thought it would be, kinder than he than he thought it would be, and so much fuller and more overwhelming than he could have imagined. He takes his hand off of the pendant to brush his hair back again, realizing he'd spoken for a little too long. He nods ]

Sure, what is it?

Edited (typos) 2022-01-11 04:36 (UTC)

You're living, Riokun.

( learning, embracing, taking upon new information and feelings while being affected by them, he's living; now he knows to live in the moment, to live for something, to enjoy, to smile, to frown, to despair, and even to hope if time wills it. )

When you live, things change... you were living before, but humans come and go through changes, and now you can taste just that.

( he'll separate rio's clothes with his clothes, and then he'll wash them though he knows rio doesn't actually sweat, so his clothes are perfectly fine, just damp. even with that being the case, he reaches out to make sure that hinata's clothes fit perfectly on him, pulling the fabric forward to check if it's loose too; it seems comfortable enough. though, he's bigger underneath his clothes, and so the chest area is a little... puffed up. )

I'm still Nagito Komaeda, but... you know, Nagito Komaeda of the past would only team up with someone if it meant his death for hope. He lived alone, but... things are different now.

( even saying that makes him a little uncomfortable, but why can't he tell his partner that? it's probably bad that this happened, and the only way was to die, but he chuckles right after as he sits down on his bed right after. with his legs crossed, he places his hands on his lap.

nagito komaeda would still partner up for hope if it meant he had to die, but this time... he's never really had a person to go along with for this long. he thinks that's meaningful, right? )

Ah...

[ It never fails to surprise him to hear about how alone he was, and it shows on his face. It's always as though he were being presented with a foreign concept, and that's no doubt because of how deeply entrenched in his life the concept was. He'd never known a world where he didn't have someone, and even here he had coordinated smaller connections that paled only when compared to the one shared with Komaeda. ]

Right, you said before that you're used to doing things alone.

[ He tugs at the shirt a little more without thinking, less because it's an ill-fit and more because he's simply not used to it. Without all the bright colors, layers and accessories, he might look a touch plain if not for the vibrant orange hair. He moves to sit down on the bed next to Komaeda, sitting as an angle to make it easier to look at him. He lays one arm across his lap as he leans forward, searching for his own feelings on those words.

Living for hope, dying for hope, only partnering with others to meet those ends... It fits everything he knows, and yet, ever part of him wants to reject it. He doesn't. ]

Are you satisfied with the way things are now?

[ Quiet, tentative, and vague in his wording, but the unspoken question is there - was it the right choice? Was he the right choice? ]

What's with that look? Don't pity me, Riokun, no matter how alone I was, I have always made sure my goals were met.

( through means that'll be frowned upon, the hardships he went through to ensure that hope became a valuable part of someone's life. to make sure that those who were lost in the darkness found the light by just a little shove, and that's how far his love goes to see them succeed. he would give anything, any part of himself to see his hope win — he looks to his prosthetic arm, remembering the cold, tike floor that burned through his jeans. the pool of blood that soaked into the seams as he knelt before her dead body, and the loud whirr of the chainsaw beside him as he decided to take up assistance in that moment. being alone would have been the ideal, he could have avoided so much, but that's when he decided not to be alone anymore, despairingly so.

"if i'm able to make ultimate despair a part of me..." with his right, he holds onto his left arm at that moment in time, the palm of his left pressed against the cool ground that was stained in the bright that seeped from her corpse — the female who laid their lifeless, destroyed by ultimate hope, "...i will..." )

Ever since waking up, ( it sounds like something someone under yogen influence would say, but for komaeda, his feelings in that regard are complicated, connected by a red string that reminds him of someone else. that version of himself needed no string, though, he didn't mind cutting his heart so that the cord could connect to another, never being snipped away, and so he lived in tune with another. those were the old days.

if anyone knew, maybe they wouldn't connect it to what seems obvious. this way, maybe rio won't catch onto the true meanings of his words where he's referencing the sleeping pod.

he lifts his hand, pressing his index and middle finger together like scissors connecting, just to catch rio's attention. ) I've made questionable choices, but meeting you... ( was taking a part of junko's body the wrong choice? completely, it was the worst one he could make, but hope managed to overshadow her, coming on top as it washed her away as time flew by, those days ticking down in the simulation. )

Made you my answer.

( rio likes that which is logical, the connection between one point and another, so he wonders if this would be enough to make sense of how fine he is with this. komaeda's aware he needs others to have things done, and doing that with rio is part of that.

he'll attempt to kill his friends, he'll argue that his love for hope is good and pure, he'll force his peers to hate him as long as they could move forward, he'll crush all his happiest moments in his hands, watching everything turn to dust. he'll meet rio on the fourth floor, he'll lie to him, and he'll take him through the school again. he'll tell rio he's broken, that he's sick, too, and he'll allow the other to get so frustrated that he lashes out — komaeda would do it all over again. )

So don't worry about us, aha... if I could do it all over again.

It's not pity. It's enough that you're satisfied with your choices.

[ But even if he weren't, Rio would simply tell him to do things differently in the future. He has no pity to waste on others, nor does he have patience for those who lament their circumstances without changing it. Even if he had no one else, he would carry on just the same. Even if no one could understand him, he would ensure his goals were met. Rio knows that intuitively. He knows that, and yet, it doesn't make the thought of being alone any less incomprehensible to him.

It's the same words as before, and it's no different than then. It was Komaeda's choice, so he won't dirty it by looking down and sticking his fingers all over it, smearing it with his feelings and biases. Instead he'll look at the person before him, and he finds that if he reaches out like this then he finds that the person before him is far more solid and far less frail than the recollection of who had been. He can stroke his hair and let his fingers trail down his face, and so he does, cupping his cheek for just a moment as he considers those words.

He's sensitive to the words that people speak, the way they say them, and so he thinks it's more than here. He won't linger on that, though, instead considering what he's made to be his answer. His answer was to let his current self be dirtied by his sticky fingers, left with smudges and stains from something not even human... Ah, he can see the grime on Komaeda's face as his hand slips down, trailing down his arm until it finally comes to rest on his organic hand. He might feel the way his hands tremble as he goes through these simple motions, something that only increases when he takes the prosthetic in his other hand. Both are important to him. Both are part of him.

He trembles, nervous and with eyes that dart to the side before he forces them to stay on his partner, cheeks tinted pink. It's something new and experimental, a little frightening, letting a barrier that he's held solidly in place since coming here drop for just a moment - just to see what might happen if he does, just to see if he's allowed to. It's an answer of a kind from a person who does so poorly with words, who can never seem to pin down what emotion they're feeling despite all the logical processes guiding them. ]

Me too. You're Nagito Komaeda, and you're my partner... So I'm satisfied.

[ "Partner" should encompass everything, but it became a secondary role without him realizing it. To what Rio isn't sure, he only knows that even if he weren't his partner, he'd want to be able to reach out and smudge the person he is now by holding his hands like this, leaving those feelings of touch and warmth from soft, inhuman skin and selfish feelings behind to be wiped off and washed down the drain as Komaeda pleases. ]

Edited 2022-01-11 23:51 (UTC)

Satisfaction doesn't matter, it's because it was by my will that I chose it.

( isn't that what this is about when komaeda doesn't have to make anything, he doesn't have to do when he completely ignores certain situations that can just pass him by. he wasn't happy, but he forces a smile on his face despite wearing ultimate despair's arm, he wore a smile when he decided that to justify his means was to make himself an end. he's never satisfied, he's always satisfied, so why does that matter, but he can see where rio is coming from. he doesn't fight against it, he's always been making the comment that as long as he was happy with the end, that it was justified. )

It's all mine, so don't sweat the complicated things.

( with his words leaving from past his lips, he's more concerned about the raise of rio's hand, watching it with his own trained eyes. they're tired, they've been empty, they're also curious especially when they come close to him, and there's this need to move away, this pinching sensation in his mind as he feels the other touch him. komaeda flinches, eyes closing as his eyes slowly flutter open to feel bare hand touching his cold, pasty skin that lacks all color. his hair however, at the moment was soft, well-taken care of that he could run his fingers through it without catching any knots. he's frozen in place, allowing him to scout komaeda's body in this manner, but it's not as comfortable when he doesn't know the reason as to why. they were just talking?

it sends a shiver down his spine, and with his palm placed on the bed, fingers curl into the fabric as he stares at rio to find what the point is within his eyes. instead, he captures the way he looks to the side, his cheeks tinting pink, nd komeda blinks even slower while identifying what's caused him to act so... is he nervous? most likely so considering the way his fingers twitch at komaeda's hand. )

You're embarrassing, you know that?

( he's always been fine with his prosthetic taken, but people trying for his organic has made him feel sick. if only rio knew how... disgusting he was, the things he did with this body, he's nothing worth keeping or associating with. he's what's left of despair, a remnant that can affect other people if left to his own devices.

he wants to change, too. )

Rio Ranger is my touchy partner that I'm proud of.

( even if it terrifies him knowing what his luck can do, he allows his organic fingers to lace between rio's, and he can feel how cold komaeda's hand happens to be. practically freezing, but he finds that rio's wet own are just as warm despite the condensation. )

Merry Christmas.

(no subject)

rearranger - 2022-01-13 01:29 (UTC) - Expand

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