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Entry tags:
lower
Who: Rantarou Amami, Nagito Komaeda, & friends
What: Hopezone 2022
When: January onwards
Where: Yogen high school (maybe?)
Warnings: TBE
What: Hopezone 2022
When: January onwards
Where: Yogen high school (maybe?)
Warnings: TBE
This uneasy feeling is weighing on me / I forced down my heart’s desires that I wanted to follow so I wouldn’t spit them out / They built up inside my chest, like dregs, and clouded me.
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[ Grief is hard. It was so hard, that when Sara lost someone important to her, she had to forget him. So she assumes anyway. She must have felt terrible to end up like this. She stands in silence for a while, inclining her head when he says she doesn't need to promise him, but she doesn't take it back. It's a promise after all, and she's going to try and keep it.
...Standing in silence is boring, but she doesn't want to leave. With a sigh, Sara sits down on the foot of Amami's bed, kicking her legs against the metal of the cot. ]
So...what do you even make of this then?
[ This. ]
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Of course I don't like it... I mean, Arisu-san, I'm sure she didn't do anything to deserve this.
( well, there was the student council election she'd held before, but... was that really enough to warrant these lengths? it feels... excessive. puts a bad taste in his mouth, even if he's able to keep his expression mostly even, gazing over at the window into the courtyard.
... )
Do you still think it was about the contract?
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[ She'll flop back on the bed, spreading her arms wide to take up the entire bottom half. Sorry if you wanted to nap here, Amami. Sara needs to stare at the ceiling and think. ]
The way she died makes it seem like a grudge...Arisu-san was a little cold but I haven't met anyone who seemed to hate her. She just...died like that and people stand to gain from a power vacuum. So...
[ Sara wasn't there for the election, so she never saw Maya do anything bad. It is excessive. Only Joshua's tampering had been this cruel. ]
But thats so easy, isn't it? Killing people for power is so boring, everyone does it.
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( an unfortunate truth. no matter how much it might be one he'd prefer to look away from, he sees it over and over again. amami pulls one leg up under himself, feeling all at once restless and nauseous from the topic, but schooled into a calm facade in voice and expression both. )
But I guess it makes sense why you were pressing to know what I wanted, in that case...
( in a crowded room no less, with no sense for the fact that it may be something he'd rather keep quiet. the infirmary though... the infirmary is quiet.
he looks over to gauge her reaction. )
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[ Just a bunch of unfortunate truths in this here hospital room. She looks over at Amami as well. He's always very hard to read...that flat kind of demeanor that just screams suspiciousness. It's not unusual she can't tell what he's thinking, if he's uncomfortable with this line of discussion. ]
I am sorry... [ And she really is. She'd just do it again in a heartbeat. ] I don't think you did it anymore. I never really felt it could be you, 100%. I was trying hard to be your friend. I'm just not very optimistic anymore.
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( he'd know. had to pick up the same habit at some point, and... it's a difficult one to drop, once it's in your hands. once you see the way that people tend to be. the way that they are. it's certainly not something that you become on purpose, and if there was a way to undo it, he doesn't doubt that the both of them would jump at the chance. )
Anyway, I already said that's nothing to apologize over. Like I said... if you'd be willing to consider someone like me as a friend, I'd be lucky for that.
( but he still doesn't sound certain that she would be... by no fault of hers, mind you. )
You weren't wrong either, about my wish.
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[ She sits up suddenly, looking at Amami with a slight tinge of panic. ]
Were you listening when I talked to Subaru? My...theory...It was a cruel thing to say, I know, but I'm just worried!
[ She said it out loud in a crowded room, but it wasn't something she wanted Amami to here. It's not a bad wish, to want to help a kid like Keigo! If it was between them and Maya, Sara would have a really hard time knowing what to do. Still, it feels cruel in a way she can't quite put words on. Something like how killing Kanna instead of Sou had been cruel, even if she'd felt like it was the right choice at the time. ]
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( he picks up on the panic, and jumping to his own assumption, feels the need to shut it down immediately. he's not confessing to murder here; he's already done that once. )
I just mean, yeah, the content of it. It's about Kamo-kun, and I don't want to bring them into things with the whole group there, even as a motive.
( he breathes out, a tired, resigned exhale. )
Paints a target on their back, you know? I mean, say Arisu-kun decided to blame them instead of me... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something like that happened.
( keigo is a good kid... there's no way they could have defended themselves in a situation like that. )
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[ Despite all her talk of not being optimistic, the look of horror on her face makes it clear she hadn't even considered the idea someone might take out their anger on Keigo of all people. They were only a little kid! You can't...take things out on a kid like that. It's not good at all. ]
He didn't. [ That's what she'll end on. He didn't, he took it out on Amami and Amami is fine. Sara might have messed up, but nobody is dead. ] He didn't though, Tenshu is fine.
...But they're not going to be right? At the end of the year...something is going to happen. You want to save them.
[ The unspoken question hangs in the air: How? ]
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( it's a strange feeling, the way the dread he's grown so accustomed to, settled permanently in the pit of his stomach, mingles with something like relief at the weight of a secret lifted. )
I guess I did promise I would tell you, huh...
( an excuse. an out, in the case of his own failure. he still has cards up his sleeve, even if things are coming to this, but it's still... )
Kamo-kun has a contract, see... If it ends up being fulfilled, they'll disappear at the end of the year. They won't die, like Arisu-san or Kudo-san — they'll be taken out of Samsara completely.
( ... )
They won't exist anymore.
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[ This school had seemed so greedy, unwilling to let any of the students here go. Escaping had seemed impossible so...vanishing? She'd known Keigo was going to leave for...somewhere. Somewhere where Sara wouldn't see them, so they wanted her to remember them.
...They weren't going to exist... ]
Why... they're just a kid! What could they want? Oh...oh god.
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( with desperation, as she may have been able to tell. with mixed results, as she may have been able to tell. at least they know now that the stuco contract, the contract that challenges contracts, is a bust; amami will have to continue looking into other avenues. he rubs at the side of his neck, glancing away for a long moment as he pauses. )
Sorry, I know it would have been better to tell you sooner, but to be honest, not even I'm supposed to know...
( and that really stings to admit. )
So I'd appreciate if you didn't bring it up with them directly, 'kay?
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[ She will talk to them later. Now that she knows...she can't stop thinking about it. Trading their life for a wish. "A stupid kid who thinks her death will fix anything". Why are Sou's words back then coming back to her now. ] I'll keep it a secret.
...I've been looking into magic and contracts myself, Amami-san.
[ She leans a little closer to him, cupping a hand around her mouth just in case anyone outside is listening. ]
Because of Maya...I wanted to know where contracts came from. Do you remember the room we found earlier this month? The one with the blood?