Ranger found it, and he kept the information to himself. There was just one person who knew, and he had never intended for them to find out. That was when a seed had planted itself in his heart, but it was stifled and unable to even bud. He'd noticed it then though. He had noticed it after. Finding out that he was shackled had been a curse, and if he had never found out then perhaps he could have just continued to exist as he was. But things have changed, and yet nothing has, and yet they can never be the same again.
Midori has always been adept with a scalpel, cutting out a person's heart with ease. Ranger has no heart, but he can still use it, carving out every emotion and thought that he wants to keep hidden. He knows that, but still he falls silent for several seconds as he looks down at the cup that his hands have wrapped around once more.
It hurts. It's painful. If he had never been born, then the world might have been better. But Rio Ranger is alive, and he'll preserve his existence at all costs. He's alive for that, and he had loved them even when he wasn't capable of such a thing.
No one, not one single person, could possibly understand that feeling. But the person next to him, who works with functions and values, can see hints of it. He knows that, and that's why despite understanding everything about the person beside him, Ranger's shoulders slump, and the tension eases out all at once. It's too heavy a burden to carry by himself, and he's eased it onto others over time, and yet there's so much that he can't. ]
... "Rio Laizer." That's how I was addressed when I arrived. It's a name that should have held no meaning. We can buy and sell trust.
[ He rubs his thumb on the mug once more. It's a light brown, the color changed by the creamer and sweeteners added. ]
Why was I born a doll? Are you sick? Why create a human that's less than one?
[ ... ]
"I love prodigies... Let's create a human." [ Midori will no doubt recognize those words. ] Why was I born? Who am I? How do I feel about you? Errors in parsing answers. Lost bits of time. Have you seen snow before? Let's look in a mirror together. You are no longer a masterwork, but you are my partner, and I want you to have hope. This is for you. Next time, I'll be sure to pick out the gift myself. I'm going to find a way back. Black boxes where words should be. I X you.
[ X, because even though he knew the right word, it wouldn't pull at his system. It was pulling at threads that wouldn't connect, code that wasn't there. Everyone forgets the love, but only one person had, or else he might have been able to. Ranger places his hand over the pendant that he wears around his neck for just a moment. He'd traded his scarf for it. That one little piece of attire he'd been given, the one item that could be proof that Rio Ranger existed. Crystalized affection. Proof that he mattered once. But he touches this and it reminds him that he still does.
It's months condensed into just a handful of sentences. And finally, in between all of that - ]
No one is here. I don't want to die. I hate being by myself. I want to know how I feel about you. I want to understand. A thrown cord. Calculations and data and observations. I can trust you with this.
[ And here they are, and Midori already knows the rest. He takes a sip of coffee. It's sweet, a saccharine taste that cuts through the bitterness of those words. ]
Edited (removed the last sentence ) 2022-03-04 16:15 (UTC)
You've gained so many memories between there and here.
[ information he can never get rid of for their attached to him. time stifles in this place. the hours and seconds stick to the skin, pierce it. better to ignore its passing, though that’s not possible. with an ai, they'll always know, they'll always remember, and there will never come a day where ranger will forget. that's why this hurts him so much from what was said, to what was hinted, and midori watches him as he lists if evidence, reality, his acceptances, those grievances, and many more phrases and words compiled into odd terms. a token around his neck, but his entire appearance has changed, even the look in his eyes, and the way he speaks.
emotion takes place, it shows itself even more, and his feelings take part in his actions so it occurs to him that "i x you" followed by the touch of a gift must have some from someone else. that individual he couldn't bother, something that belongs to ranger. is this horrible for midori? it truly is when he knows more mistakes can be made all because of a single sensation of warmth or happiness. it doesn't mean to be, but accidents happen, and they don't have enough of those to spare based on feelings.
if only he knew to protect himself when engaging on others that left such impressions, then it wouldn't coil around his arm like a snake; the fangs wouldn't dig into his flesh, and then there's be no need for midori to grab the hook to settle in between the mouth to pull back the top of the head. ranger may not be capable of bleeding, but the substance oozes by his actions through his words.
with a sip of his own drink, he brings it down to his lap, and his foot taps the floor gently while flipping through all that was said. ]
Loneliness is a cruel mistress, and you weren't meant to meet her ever.
[ he sets down his own cup, gets up again to find a book so that he can place himself back in the seat that he once was.
midori flips through a few pages before closing it again. ]
I really am sorry for the trouble I've caused, at least their true colors showed before it was too late. Ah... Ranger, you have every right to feel the way you do and they'll make you feel silly... try to draw you back when they never tbought of youe emotions, but I can be a selfish man and say I'm happy you came to speak with me. At least there's someone I can help by being here. Removing black boxes, helping you understand how you truly feel, and removing anything muddled by extra hands since you've been here. Anything that you need.
[ ... the door is open, just like the offering he game about coming into his room. there's no need to fight over the participants for ranger because he'll do as he decides, and that's why: ]
But that's to be your choice, and you know where to find me.
[ Ranger takes the apology to be genuine, as Midori should regret allowing things to get to such a point from the start. If he were here sooner, he could have done everything himself. He could have fixed his errors, completed his unfinished code in the blink of an eye. It's because he was left alone that things turned out this way. It's because he was lonely that he had to take another person's hand to pull himself up, that he had to cling to weak bonds and lie to himself, that he has to be afraid, and none of it is fair.
He should apologize.What if in the end even the pendant resting over his chest shatters like glass, falls to the floor in microscopic particles that he'll be finding for months and years and yet can never piece back together?
If it does, then he'll have no choice to accept the consequences of his actions. It won't be Midori's fault if that happens, no more than the rest of this is, as the blame lays solely on him for willingly bringing the glass to his lips and drinking down the poison in it. He's down to the last of it now, shaking the final few drops out in the form of chocolates and flowers in a cute little box, and he's equally afraid that he'll throw it all up along with all the sugary sweets rotting in his stomach. Midori would force the matter if only he could, inducing vomiting and pumping his stomach before shoving activated charcoal down his throat.
There's no love in the words, no love in that salvation, and no words in anything to come, but Midori is the only one in this place who needs him. He turns the words over in his mind, lets them mingle with complex emotions. ]
Hiyori.
[ In a moment of insanity, he thinks to ask a question. He opens his mouth to do so before only inhaling a deep breath and closing it enough to blow it out. There's things that his colleague would know that Ranger isn't privy to, just as there are pieces of information that are locked away solely within Ranger. They're far and few between, as the pair large share the same information, but they're there.
He was never meant to be lonely. He was never meant to be an incomplete creation. He was never meant to hate as deeply as he did, to struggle as he has, to be hurt as he has. So what was he made for then? Why was it that Rio Ranger was created? If he could answer that, then the res would make sense. It would tell him where to throw his chips, and it would ease the pain, and it would give him some meaning that he's lacked ever since he realized how much pride had been taken and thrown away in his creation.
His instincts tell him not to ask now. It's dangerous when he's like it, when the conversation has switched from logic to emotion, and Hiyori has found his own way to protect his one and only colleague - the one he'll go down with. ]
You're right. I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall prey to begin with, but there's no point in dwelling on it. I won't allow anyone save those of ASUNARO to view or modify my code nor hardware.
[ Which is how it should have been from the start. Ranger lifts the cup up again, taking one small sip after another as he considers the rest. It's possible that there's something that he missed. It's possible that they were sharper than he thought. It's likely that there's some error that will eat away at his system if not caught. If not that, then perhaps improvements that can be made. Would that make it easier?
He closes eyes for a couple seconds, and takes one more sip. Anything he needs, huh...? It's too sweet on his tongue, but he can drink this. ]
It can only be viewed and edited using ASUNARO equipment. If you can secure that, then I'll let you do what's meaning.
[ Sharp, precise, and logical, and the cup lowers, and his voice grows softer, ]
I'll give you a chance to answer my questions, since there's things that don't really make sense to me.
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WE GOT THIS I BELIEVE IN US
Ranger found it, and he kept the information to himself. There was just one person who knew, and he had never intended for them to find out. That was when a seed had planted itself in his heart, but it was stifled and unable to even bud. He'd noticed it then though. He had noticed it after. Finding out that he was shackled had been a curse, and if he had never found out then perhaps he could have just continued to exist as he was. But things have changed, and yet nothing has, and yet they can never be the same again.
Midori has always been adept with a scalpel, cutting out a person's heart with ease. Ranger has no heart, but he can still use it, carving out every emotion and thought that he wants to keep hidden. He knows that, but still he falls silent for several seconds as he looks down at the cup that his hands have wrapped around once more.
It hurts. It's painful. If he had never been born, then the world might have been better. But Rio Ranger is alive, and he'll preserve his existence at all costs. He's alive for that, and he had loved them even when he wasn't capable of such a thing.
No one, not one single person, could possibly understand that feeling. But the person next to him, who works with functions and values, can see hints of it. He knows that, and that's why despite understanding everything about the person beside him, Ranger's shoulders slump, and the tension eases out all at once. It's too heavy a burden to carry by himself, and he's eased it onto others over time, and yet there's so much that he can't. ]
... "Rio Laizer." That's how I was addressed when I arrived. It's a name that should have held no meaning. We can buy and sell trust.
[ He rubs his thumb on the mug once more. It's a light brown, the color changed by the creamer and sweeteners added. ]
Why was I born a doll? Are you sick? Why create a human that's less than one?
[ ... ]
"I love prodigies... Let's create a human." [ Midori will no doubt recognize those words. ] Why was I born? Who am I? How do I feel about you? Errors in parsing answers. Lost bits of time. Have you seen snow before? Let's look in a mirror together. You are no longer a masterwork, but you are my partner, and I want you to have hope. This is for you. Next time, I'll be sure to pick out the gift myself. I'm going to find a way back. Black boxes where words should be. I X you.
[ X, because even though he knew the right word, it wouldn't pull at his system. It was pulling at threads that wouldn't connect, code that wasn't there. Everyone forgets the love, but only one person had, or else he might have been able to. Ranger places his hand over the pendant that he wears around his neck for just a moment. He'd traded his scarf for it. That one little piece of attire he'd been given, the one item that could be proof that Rio Ranger existed. Crystalized affection. Proof that he mattered once. But he touches this and it reminds him that he still does.
It's months condensed into just a handful of sentences. And finally, in between all of that - ]
No one is here. I don't want to die. I hate being by myself. I want to know how I feel about you. I want to understand. A thrown cord. Calculations and data and observations. I can trust you with this.
[ And here they are, and Midori already knows the rest. He takes a sip of coffee. It's sweet, a saccharine taste that cuts through the bitterness of those words. ]
A WEEK LATER IM ON A PRAYER
[ information he can never get rid of for their attached to him. time stifles in this place. the hours and seconds stick to the skin, pierce it. better to ignore its passing, though that’s not possible. with an ai, they'll always know, they'll always remember, and there will never come a day where ranger will forget. that's why this hurts him so much from what was said, to what was hinted, and midori watches him as he lists if evidence, reality, his acceptances, those grievances, and many more phrases and words compiled into odd terms. a token around his neck, but his entire appearance has changed, even the look in his eyes, and the way he speaks.
emotion takes place, it shows itself even more, and his feelings take part in his actions so it occurs to him that "i x you" followed by the touch of a gift must have some from someone else. that individual he couldn't bother, something that belongs to ranger. is this horrible for midori? it truly is when he knows more mistakes can be made all because of a single sensation of warmth or happiness. it doesn't mean to be, but accidents happen, and they don't have enough of those to spare based on feelings.
if only he knew to protect himself when engaging on others that left such impressions, then it wouldn't coil around his arm like a snake; the fangs wouldn't dig into his flesh, and then there's be no need for midori to grab the hook to settle in between the mouth to pull back the top of the head. ranger may not be capable of bleeding, but the substance oozes by his actions through his words.
with a sip of his own drink, he brings it down to his lap, and his foot taps the floor gently while flipping through all that was said. ]
Loneliness is a cruel mistress, and you weren't meant to meet her ever.
[ he sets down his own cup, gets up again to find a book so that he can place himself back in the seat that he once was.
midori flips through a few pages before closing it again. ]
I really am sorry for the trouble I've caused, at least their true colors showed before it was too late. Ah... Ranger, you have every right to feel the way you do and they'll make you feel silly... try to draw you back when they never tbought of youe emotions, but I can be a selfish man and say I'm happy you came to speak with me. At least there's someone I can help by being here. Removing black boxes, helping you understand how you truly feel, and removing anything muddled by extra hands since you've been here. Anything that you need.
[ ... the door is open, just like the offering he game about coming into his room. there's no need to fight over the participants for ranger because he'll do as he decides, and that's why: ]
But that's to be your choice, and you know where to find me.
ME I NEED TO BE DOUSED IN HOLY WATER
He should apologize.What if in the end even the pendant resting over his chest shatters like glass, falls to the floor in microscopic particles that he'll be finding for months and years and yet can never piece back together?
If it does, then he'll have no choice to accept the consequences of his actions. It won't be Midori's fault if that happens, no more than the rest of this is, as the blame lays solely on him for willingly bringing the glass to his lips and drinking down the poison in it. He's down to the last of it now, shaking the final few drops out in the form of chocolates and flowers in a cute little box, and he's equally afraid that he'll throw it all up along with all the sugary sweets rotting in his stomach. Midori would force the matter if only he could, inducing vomiting and pumping his stomach before shoving activated charcoal down his throat.
There's no love in the words, no love in that salvation, and no words in anything to come, but Midori is the only one in this place who needs him. He turns the words over in his mind, lets them mingle with complex emotions. ]
Hiyori.
[ In a moment of insanity, he thinks to ask a question. He opens his mouth to do so before only inhaling a deep breath and closing it enough to blow it out. There's things that his colleague would know that Ranger isn't privy to, just as there are pieces of information that are locked away solely within Ranger. They're far and few between, as the pair large share the same information, but they're there.
He was never meant to be lonely. He was never meant to be an incomplete creation. He was never meant to hate as deeply as he did, to struggle as he has, to be hurt as he has. So what was he made for then? Why was it that Rio Ranger was created? If he could answer that, then the res would make sense. It would tell him where to throw his chips, and it would ease the pain, and it would give him some meaning that he's lacked ever since he realized how much pride had been taken and thrown away in his creation.
His instincts tell him not to ask now. It's dangerous when he's like it, when the conversation has switched from logic to emotion, and Hiyori has found his own way to protect his one and only colleague - the one he'll go down with. ]
You're right. I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall prey to begin with, but there's no point in dwelling on it. I won't allow anyone save those of ASUNARO to view or modify my code nor hardware.
[ Which is how it should have been from the start. Ranger lifts the cup up again, taking one small sip after another as he considers the rest. It's possible that there's something that he missed. It's possible that they were sharper than he thought. It's likely that there's some error that will eat away at his system if not caught. If not that, then perhaps improvements that can be made. Would that make it easier?
He closes eyes for a couple seconds, and takes one more sip. Anything he needs, huh...? It's too sweet on his tongue, but he can drink this. ]
It can only be viewed and edited using ASUNARO equipment. If you can secure that, then I'll let you do what's meaning.
[ Sharp, precise, and logical, and the cup lowers, and his voice grows softer, ]
I'll give you a chance to answer my questions, since there's things that don't really make sense to me.