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now we've got bad blood
Who: Shin & close CR (and the Nanamis if desired)
What: Despairzone 2022, Flipside
When: Hope your Valentine's Day is going well, Shin's sure isn't
Where: People's phones and dorm doors, Moon 1
Warnings: Past abuse/toxic friendship is likely to come up
Midori is here. Let Sara and Alice know.
Eight words from Ranger that make Shin feel like all of his blood has turned to ice. His mouth is dry and his mind whirling as he stares down at the screen, thoughts and implications racing frantically through a brain that otherwise might as well have been suddenly replaced with cotton wool or cottage cheese.
He feels sick. With only a token effort at excusing himself, he just runs straight out of the room to the nearest bathroom. It's an off-kilter blur of the mirror, and the twinned shine off fixtures, and his own nausea and ragged frantic breathing, until the fact he's clutching his phone still tight enough for it to maybe break registers through the pain in his hand.
He swallows thickly, and tries to breathe, and sends a reply to Ranger with the slow, deliberate effort of someone trying to do something delicate while out of it. If this is some kind of joke, it's not funny at all. He tries to collect himself, pull himself back together into one place, every nerve on high alert because he can't afford to fall apart if this is true. He's staring at the screen with intensity and a taut, shivering frame. Ranger is... well he's not the sort to outright lie, right? Just mislead. So this is true? Probably... he'd really like this to not be happening.
His hand buries itself in the wool of Nene's scarf. It's a comfort and it isn't. He doesn't know anything. He- he needs to know what's going on.
No reply.
Here in Yogen Shin's let himself get comfortable, sprawled out like ivy, retreating with frost, reaching up towards sunlight, putting down roots. It's not until the possibility that he might need to withdraw completely back into his shell appears that so does the lurching horror that he just might not fit any more. Vulnerabilities exposed no matter what he does, and so many.
All he can do is try. There's nothing to do but to try, and warn as many people as possible before Midori gets his hooks in them like he did to him. He sends his final text to Ranger and lets his head thunk back against the bathroom wall, exhaling. Right now, Shin is at the closest to an advantage he'll get... he just needs to hold onto that.
He lifts up his phone again, and bracing with the other hand, gets to his feet.
What: Despairzone 2022, Flipside
When: Hope your Valentine's Day is going well, Shin's sure isn't
Where: People's phones and dorm doors, Moon 1
Warnings: Past abuse/toxic friendship is likely to come up
Midori is here. Let Sara and Alice know.
Eight words from Ranger that make Shin feel like all of his blood has turned to ice. His mouth is dry and his mind whirling as he stares down at the screen, thoughts and implications racing frantically through a brain that otherwise might as well have been suddenly replaced with cotton wool or cottage cheese.
He feels sick. With only a token effort at excusing himself, he just runs straight out of the room to the nearest bathroom. It's an off-kilter blur of the mirror, and the twinned shine off fixtures, and his own nausea and ragged frantic breathing, until the fact he's clutching his phone still tight enough for it to maybe break registers through the pain in his hand.
He swallows thickly, and tries to breathe, and sends a reply to Ranger with the slow, deliberate effort of someone trying to do something delicate while out of it. If this is some kind of joke, it's not funny at all. He tries to collect himself, pull himself back together into one place, every nerve on high alert because he can't afford to fall apart if this is true. He's staring at the screen with intensity and a taut, shivering frame. Ranger is... well he's not the sort to outright lie, right? Just mislead. So this is true? Probably... he'd really like this to not be happening.
His hand buries itself in the wool of Nene's scarf. It's a comfort and it isn't. He doesn't know anything. He- he needs to know what's going on.
No reply.
Here in Yogen Shin's let himself get comfortable, sprawled out like ivy, retreating with frost, reaching up towards sunlight, putting down roots. It's not until the possibility that he might need to withdraw completely back into his shell appears that so does the lurching horror that he just might not fit any more. Vulnerabilities exposed no matter what he does, and so many.
All he can do is try. There's nothing to do but to try, and warn as many people as possible before Midori gets his hooks in them like he did to him. He sends his final text to Ranger and lets his head thunk back against the bathroom wall, exhaling. Right now, Shin is at the closest to an advantage he'll get... he just needs to hold onto that.
He lifts up his phone again, and bracing with the other hand, gets to his feet.
no subject
[...even if she's still upset at Sara for what she did, and will not stop until she hears that Shin says it's all right. but she's believing him - sincerity radiates out of her like warmth from a candle flame. she believes him, she trusts him, she knows that he says his words because he cares.]
You have more than he does, and he is a stranger here. There's some comfort in that, no?
no subject
...Yeah... I do, huh?
[It has has been a comfort if also a surprise to realise, something he's been salving himself with, but it comes with it's own flipside. Friends, allies... their help also places them in harm's way. He's thinking about Sara, that one time, asking if she can't be scared just because she has friends. He thinks he gets it a little more now, when looking from one perspective and not the other.]
Don't know how long that will last, though... He's charming when he wants to be. And people here...
[Turns out bad people also have access to the power of friendship... and don't care about that sort of thing. The scales that have a little tilt to them now from Midori not knowing anything and anyone are going to tip back down, he's sure of it.]
no subject
[it's a hopeful way of looking at things, but it's the best one she has for the moment. strength with numbers, and with the truth in their hands to hold onto. people here do believe Shin, for the most part - he speaks, and people know that he comes from a solid place. he seeks the truth.]
You will always have more than he does, because you have the advantage of being here first. He can't undo that.
no subject
[It's not actually skepticism... much. His ability to assess is all out of sorts... he's bad at telling what people will do and how they'll align themselves, he's painfully learnt this much. Helena is someone who... knows what she's talking about, so he'll defer to her here.]
Strength in numbers... but if some people fall for it, they can convince others, right? It's not good for them exactly either...
[He's so unused to the idea of being someone people listen to and believe, at scale. He knows that Helena believes him, especially now, and Nene, and so on, but the group as a whole? Even as he's been putting himself forward in meetings... It's hard to grasp.
He tried the power of the truth, and he got shot down... even if it wasn't the truth in the end, those emails were real. But then he was told no one believes the words of a liar... it's complex, he can't win.]
You're right... Ahaha, I'm never not going to have been first.
[That... it does mean something. Getting there first, establishing a foothold first, getting your ideas out first... they put you at an advantage for sure. It's why it's good to claim your card right at the start, right?]
...
Guess I'm just worried... that won't be enough. Pretty pessimistic, huh?
[Especially over time as the gap in knowledge closes. He can't tell if he's catastrophizing, because Midori is legitimately scary to him; what's prudence and what's paranoia? Is there even a difference? Helena's calm demeanor and good points are helping, grounding him, which means an overturn in layers.]
no subject
[extending her hand, it's an offer - if he takes it, she'll gently squeeze for reassurance.]
You're not facing him alone. None of us are. And no matter what, I believe you.
[because she can forgive him, time and again. they're still here. still friends.]