Who: B.B. Hood and friends (and you?!) What: pretty late catch-all, listen, don't worry bout it When: Post field-trip - End of Feb Where: Here and There
( it breaks his heart to hear the hoarseness in her voice, the stilted, ragged breathing, the way she thinks he'd take any joy at all in something like this. he won't deny her that though, even as he has to hold back a sigh himself, frowning down at the ground as she lectures him. )
You're right, Chidouin-san... You are. I know that.
( it's never been an excuse for his actions, not really, but it's something he's told himself. over and over and over again, because he doesn't like it either. he doesn't want to kill either. but when he's faced with forever or for now, when he's faced with the threat of losing his family, again, and standing by helplessly as they're never given that chance at the life they deserve... then sending somebody back into the next step of that cycle, here or elsewhere, it doesn't seem so bad — at least they're out there somewhere.
it's still not an excuse.
but he looks up to bonnie instead for a moment. he feels guilt, but he doesn't feel regret, exactly. still, he grimaces some at the implication of her words. )
You can tell them it was me if you need to. ( that, he can own up to. ) I just... don't want them to know why.
( he doesn't want a bright red target on kamo-kun's back. )
[ It's good Bonnie speaks up to talk. It gives Sara time to wipe her face on her sleeve and stand up again. Right...they're still here to investigate. She needs to calm down a little, even if this feels like someone punched her in the stomach after all her talk of trust. ]
The mechanics of the murder are the least I want to know. [ Her voice still sounds raspy. ]
You killed Maya Arisu on a hunch..? You keep talking about keeping this secret, but look what secrets got us! You and Subaru doing awful things in the shadows, and nobody can even help you! How is lying again going to help Keigo!?
And you think telling the truth is going to help them... how? Explain it to me, Chidouin-san. I want to know how letting the others, especially those who have made it more than clear that they want revenge, is going to achieve anything except for putting them in more danger than they already are? You can't seriously say that you're willing to make them pay for my actions.
( pulling himself up to his feet along with her his voice is sharp — not quite loud enough that he could be considered raising his voice yet, but it's getting there. the urgency, the desperation. he's almost to the point of pleading, and if she pushed just a little more, there's little doubt that he would reach that point. he did something wrong. he did. there's no reason kamo-kun should be the one who has to pay the price for that.
luckily for him though, after snapping back at sara, he still has bonnie's question to address. )
It doesn't matter how I did it. You guys had a pretty good idea of it back at the meetings, so does it really change anything if I walk you through it?
( no. it's unforgivable either way, and amami gains nothing from breaking things down. )
[ Aww. Boring. But the main point of it seems to be that he doesn't really want to walk through that again. Relive that experience. That's Bonnie's interpretation anyway...
Really, she has a million more questions about it, but it's more likely that none of them are really appropriate for what's happening. A hunter would brag about how they managed to take down three targets, managed to convince a tightly wound group that they weren't behind it and nearly get away with it.
This wasn't a hunter, though. This was, to a girl with no idea of what an Ultimate is, just a normal young man who did something he isn't happy about.
...So confusing. ]
Mm. You know, if the truth doesn't get told, then others'll get hurt anyway. Eventually someone back there will take the blame while you just keep feeling sorry about it. Really-- I don't care what you want to do about it.
That said... there's someone I do need to bring you to. I promised.
[ To Nao, to sock him one. Probably to do more than that, but she wouldn't lose any sleep if the poor girl did try to kill him. ]
Three people are dead! You don't get to use Keigo as a shield anymore.
[ Bonnie might be willing to let things go and deal with the consequences later, but Sara draws herself up with a glare, squaring her shoulders to glare up at Amami. She jabs her finger up towards his chin with a click of her teeth. ]
These are your actions! Your choices! Your responsibility! What...you'll kill someone because you're scared but you won't stand up for the people you care about?
[ You could fill an ocean or write a million novels with the countless words Sara could say about desperate, cornered people who selfishly believe they're doing something good. ]
I won't lie for you. My friends deserve better then that. Bonnie is right. If you don't explain, if you don't take responsibility, this situation is only going to spiral.
( his voice comes out loud. louder than he's intended, surprising even himself, but his expression stays sharp. serious. a little bit desperate. )
I already said that you can tell them it was me. Just not... Make up a reason why. I don't care. Because I remembered something important. Because everyone was failing under her contract anyway. Because I was mad at Sakasaki-kun. I don't care what you say as long as it doesn't put them in danger.
( can't she see? it's the opposite. the way that natsume had been so quick to jump to threats, the vigilante justice their little group wants, amami doesn't want any of it directed at kamo-kun. he doesn't care if it's directed at him. he can handle it, but...
his voice drops, frustration cracking apart and falling away, only to be replaced with something pleading. )
If... If they have to know the truth, at least... Just a little bit of time.
That kind of desperation's easy to pick up on. The way one would follow up with I'll do anything if they wanted to pull a cliche.
B.B. tries not to smile, but ultimately, she can't help herself. ]
You must really, really believe in that reason, don't you?
[ She can understand Sara being so upset. She's too good a person. Well, in whatever way someone may interpret that to be good. Good, bad, heroic, evil... it's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?
Bonnie rises from her position with a little stretch, humming a bit. Okay. ]
Miss Chidouin, you're right too. It's not nice to lie. Buuut, if he wants us to wait a bit, there's no problem, right?
[ That all said-- ]
But we can't help you if you try to wriggle out of this. You can get your affairs in order, try to make peace-- because once we say something, you're on your own.
[ She turns her back momentarily, more for the show of it. And then, she pivots. ]
Of course, if it comes out somehow... I don't mind running interference if you need it. My services are always available. ♡
Not a shield? Nobody bore them any ill will until you decided to act on your own! If you want to protect them, be honest. Telling obvious lies is only going to breed distrust.
[ She doesn't believe anyone would really take it out on Keigo...if Amami would just say it. Take responsibility, take the malice the people who have been hurt feel and everything should be fine. Nobody will have time to fester in the dark if Amami is out in the open to direct their feelings at. This group is full of bleeding hearts that wouldn't do anything more. Who had hurt Lucifer or Dito after they killed a almost ten people for no good reason?
She looks at Bonnie and clicks her tongue with a shrug, tightening her crossed arms. ]
Waiting...Fine. If you need time, I can give that...but you can't make this go away with lies.
[ Her tone to Amami is still terse, but she's trying to reign it back. ]
We can wait till the end of the month at most...I won't say anything to Keigo, but don't do anything else with them. When we tell everyone, the group can work on this problem, Amami. Nobody is going to hate them.
( he has to bite his tongue hard to keep from snapping at her again, and it's a wonder he doesn't taste blood from the pressure. his fingers are curled into tight fists, practically trembling from how angry he is, but... it's fine. it'll be fine. that's why he's doing this, after all; sara can make all the claims she wants about him owning up or not owning up, acting on his own or hiding the truth, because it's for the best that he sees this through. he knew it wouldn't be easy, but... it would have been a kind of cowardice he couldn't have forgiven himself for, if he'd simply walked away without having this conversation first — without telling them. )
Thanks, Bonnie.
( he's pretty sure he doesn't need those services, but at this point, he's kind of tired of talking to sara. )
A month is fine. I wouldn't have said anything at all if I wasn't ready to own up to it.
( he just needs to make sure that keigo is safe, is all...
... )
That should be enough for now, right? I should really go, and you two can check up on Akehoshi-kun like you were intending.
[ That was just an excuse, of course! Not that she knows if Sara actually did want to visit Subaru, she just wanted to bully Amami-- and maybe okay, Subaru if he knew something.
Still, she really wants to know how it's done, but she'll have to figure it out later. That much is disappointing, but ultimately, she's pretty impressed. How much did you want this after all, Amami? Enough to kill three people, enough to fool just about everyone else, including those who truly, absolutely believed in him. It's admirable, in a way. After all-- if he'd gotten away with it and didn't feel bad about it, and of course, Sara hadn't been with her... Bonnie probably would've let him go.
Oh well. ]
That'll be all from me. Just keep what I said in mind.
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no subject
You're right, Chidouin-san... You are. I know that.
( it's never been an excuse for his actions, not really, but it's something he's told himself. over and over and over again, because he doesn't like it either. he doesn't want to kill either. but when he's faced with forever or for now, when he's faced with the threat of losing his family, again, and standing by helplessly as they're never given that chance at the life they deserve... then sending somebody back into the next step of that cycle, here or elsewhere, it doesn't seem so bad — at least they're out there somewhere.
it's still not an excuse.
but he looks up to bonnie instead for a moment. he feels guilt, but he doesn't feel regret, exactly. still, he grimaces some at the implication of her words. )
You can tell them it was me if you need to. ( that, he can own up to. ) I just... don't want them to know why.
( he doesn't want a bright red target on kamo-kun's back. )
no subject
[ He has his reasons, and it sounds like that's something more for Sara to dig into.
Naturally though, she does crouch down, hands on her chin. ]
What I am curious about is... how the heck did you pull any of this off? You don't look like you're super strong or anything.
no subject
The mechanics of the murder are the least I want to know. [ Her voice still sounds raspy. ]
You killed Maya Arisu on a hunch..? You keep talking about keeping this secret, but look what secrets got us! You and Subaru doing awful things in the shadows, and nobody can even help you! How is lying again going to help Keigo!?
no subject
( pulling himself up to his feet along with her his voice is sharp — not quite loud enough that he could be considered raising his voice yet, but it's getting there. the urgency, the desperation. he's almost to the point of pleading, and if she pushed just a little more, there's little doubt that he would reach that point. he did something wrong. he did. there's no reason kamo-kun should be the one who has to pay the price for that.
luckily for him though, after snapping back at sara, he still has bonnie's question to address. )
It doesn't matter how I did it. You guys had a pretty good idea of it back at the meetings, so does it really change anything if I walk you through it?
( no. it's unforgivable either way, and amami gains nothing from breaking things down. )
no subject
[ Aww. Boring. But the main point of it seems to be that he doesn't really want to walk through that again. Relive that experience. That's Bonnie's interpretation anyway...
Really, she has a million more questions about it, but it's more likely that none of them are really appropriate for what's happening. A hunter would brag about how they managed to take down three targets, managed to convince a tightly wound group that they weren't behind it and nearly get away with it.
This wasn't a hunter, though. This was, to a girl with no idea of what an Ultimate is, just a normal young man who did something he isn't happy about.
...So confusing. ]
Mm. You know, if the truth doesn't get told, then others'll get hurt anyway. Eventually someone back there will take the blame while you just keep feeling sorry about it. Really-- I don't care what you want to do about it.
That said... there's someone I do need to bring you to. I promised.
[ To Nao, to sock him one. Probably to do more than that, but she wouldn't lose any sleep if the poor girl did try to kill him. ]
no subject
[ Bonnie might be willing to let things go and deal with the consequences later, but Sara draws herself up with a glare, squaring her shoulders to glare up at Amami. She jabs her finger up towards his chin with a click of her teeth. ]
These are your actions! Your choices! Your responsibility! What...you'll kill someone because you're scared but you won't stand up for the people you care about?
[ You could fill an ocean or write a million novels with the countless words Sara could say about desperate, cornered people who selfishly believe they're doing something good. ]
I won't lie for you. My friends deserve better then that. Bonnie is right. If you don't explain, if you don't take responsibility, this situation is only going to spiral.
no subject
( his voice comes out loud. louder than he's intended, surprising even himself, but his expression stays sharp. serious. a little bit desperate. )
I already said that you can tell them it was me. Just not... Make up a reason why. I don't care. Because I remembered something important. Because everyone was failing under her contract anyway. Because I was mad at Sakasaki-kun. I don't care what you say as long as it doesn't put them in danger.
( can't she see? it's the opposite. the way that natsume had been so quick to jump to threats, the vigilante justice their little group wants, amami doesn't want any of it directed at kamo-kun. he doesn't care if it's directed at him. he can handle it, but...
his voice drops, frustration cracking apart and falling away, only to be replaced with something pleading. )
If... If they have to know the truth, at least... Just a little bit of time.
no subject
That kind of desperation's easy to pick up on. The way one would follow up with I'll do anything if they wanted to pull a cliche.
B.B. tries not to smile, but ultimately, she can't help herself. ]
You must really, really believe in that reason, don't you?
[ She can understand Sara being so upset. She's too good a person. Well, in whatever way someone may interpret that to be good. Good, bad, heroic, evil... it's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?
Bonnie rises from her position with a little stretch, humming a bit. Okay. ]
Miss Chidouin, you're right too. It's not nice to lie. Buuut, if he wants us to wait a bit, there's no problem, right?
[ That all said-- ]
But we can't help you if you try to wriggle out of this. You can get your affairs in order, try to make peace-- because once we say something, you're on your own.
[ She turns her back momentarily, more for the show of it. And then, she pivots. ]
Of course, if it comes out somehow... I don't mind running interference if you need it. My services are always available. ♡
[ They're just not free. ]
no subject
[ She doesn't believe anyone would really take it out on Keigo...if Amami would just say it. Take responsibility, take the malice the people who have been hurt feel and everything should be fine. Nobody will have time to fester in the dark if Amami is out in the open to direct their feelings at. This group is full of bleeding hearts that wouldn't do anything more. Who had hurt Lucifer or Dito after they killed a almost ten people for no good reason?
She looks at Bonnie and clicks her tongue with a shrug, tightening her crossed arms. ]
Waiting...Fine. If you need time, I can give that...but you can't make this go away with lies.
[ Her tone to Amami is still terse, but she's trying to reign it back. ]
We can wait till the end of the month at most...I won't say anything to Keigo, but don't do anything else with them. When we tell everyone, the group can work on this problem, Amami. Nobody is going to hate them.
no subject
Thanks, Bonnie.
( he's pretty sure he doesn't need those services, but at this point, he's kind of tired of talking to sara. )
A month is fine. I wouldn't have said anything at all if I wasn't ready to own up to it.
( he just needs to make sure that keigo is safe, is all...
... )
That should be enough for now, right? I should really go, and you two can check up on Akehoshi-kun like you were intending.
no subject
[ That was just an excuse, of course! Not that she knows if Sara actually did want to visit Subaru, she just wanted to bully Amami-- and maybe okay, Subaru if he knew something.
Still, she really wants to know how it's done, but she'll have to figure it out later. That much is disappointing, but ultimately, she's pretty impressed. How much did you want this after all, Amami? Enough to kill three people, enough to fool just about everyone else, including those who truly, absolutely believed in him. It's admirable, in a way. After all-- if he'd gotten away with it and didn't feel bad about it, and of course, Sara hadn't been with her... Bonnie probably would've let him go.
Oh well. ]
That'll be all from me. Just keep what I said in mind.