[ ASUNARO is full of people who could show kindness if only their circumstances were different. Even now, he has no small amount of affection for those people who created and nurtured him. Perhaps the same could be said of others, but emotional matters don't come naturally to him, and admitting to them is the same as pinning a target to himself for others to aim at. It's admitting to being defective, and that thought settles itself comfortably in his mind. ]
He was a reliable person, so I didn't mind having him around. He was sorta stupid, but it's not like these losers were doing anything to save their own.
[ Which is, at the core, the source of his frustration. If they'd done more, they could have stopped this. If anyone had acted, perhaps it wouldn't have come to this. But it had, and now there's upset because it doesn't fit their vision, because he was a convenient target for those pent up feelings.
What separates Ranger form the rest of them? It's the fact that he chose not to stop him, and so he feels no need to lament the outcome.
Still, maybe there is one thing that bothers him. ]
You know, when I was speaking with one of the others earlier, there was something he said to me...
( maple pauses for a moment, recollecting the words from her memory. it's not an impression, but it is a perfect recitation of what she feels is most important: )
"If killing wasn't avoidable, I'd rather do it myself than have someone else do it. That way, they wouldn't have to be burdened, because I could take it for them."
( she remembers it vividly, the sadness in noah's voice, the loneliness in his expression. he had been one of the ones to become angry, to say that ranger's friend had become a bad person for doing what he did, but in the end, it wasn't as if he blamed them for it. rather, it was frustration that the friend they shared had made those choices alone.
complicated... it's so complicated.
but while shin and sara may be difficult for her to understand—and they are truly heartless with the way they throw their words around—it isn't as if they speak for everybody. no matter how hurtful their words were, how careless and inconsiderate, the fact remains that maple doesn't want them to define the memory that's left behind. ranger isn't alone in his feelings, after all. )
I wonder if some of the others might only need time to understand him, because they're sad that he chose to leave them.
.... That's what Nagito said too. He said if we give it time, then the rest will understand. They're a pretty dumb bunch, but I guess if even a few of them can think it through, then that would be enough for me.
[ It would be impossible to make everyone understand the lengths he had gone through, how difficult it was, how much he struggled. It's not something that Ranger can understand. He doesn't have that kind of self-sacrificing nature. But he can at least understand a person who's willing to do anything to achieve their goals regardless of the cost.
The words resonate with him. They offer a small comfort, the budding hope that there those who will be able to come around the way that he wants them to. Ranger wouldn't have minded taking that burden on himself. Maybe that would have made it easier for both of them, or maybe he would have just felt frustrated with that choice. ]
I guess I could forgive them for being upset, even if they were wrong. But y'know, they should be able to get it. Instead they're acting like idiots and fighting with each other, picking arguments with me, and going after anyone who disagrees. Who the Hell do think they are to judge?
[ Especially when they're going after the ones who are important to him. ]
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He was a reliable person, so I didn't mind having him around. He was sorta stupid, but it's not like these losers were doing anything to save their own.
[ Which is, at the core, the source of his frustration. If they'd done more, they could have stopped this. If anyone had acted, perhaps it wouldn't have come to this. But it had, and now there's upset because it doesn't fit their vision, because he was a convenient target for those pent up feelings.
What separates Ranger form the rest of them? It's the fact that he chose not to stop him, and so he feels no need to lament the outcome.
Still, maybe there is one thing that bothers him. ]
... I don't really get people like that.
no subject
( maple pauses for a moment, recollecting the words from her memory. it's not an impression, but it is a perfect recitation of what she feels is most important: )
"If killing wasn't avoidable, I'd rather do it myself than have someone else do it. That way, they wouldn't have to be burdened, because I could take it for them."
( she remembers it vividly, the sadness in noah's voice, the loneliness in his expression. he had been one of the ones to become angry, to say that ranger's friend had become a bad person for doing what he did, but in the end, it wasn't as if he blamed them for it. rather, it was frustration that the friend they shared had made those choices alone.
complicated... it's so complicated.
but while shin and sara may be difficult for her to understand—and they are truly heartless with the way they throw their words around—it isn't as if they speak for everybody. no matter how hurtful their words were, how careless and inconsiderate, the fact remains that maple doesn't want them to define the memory that's left behind. ranger isn't alone in his feelings, after all. )
I wonder if some of the others might only need time to understand him, because they're sad that he chose to leave them.
no subject
[ It would be impossible to make everyone understand the lengths he had gone through, how difficult it was, how much he struggled. It's not something that Ranger can understand. He doesn't have that kind of self-sacrificing nature. But he can at least understand a person who's willing to do anything to achieve their goals regardless of the cost.
The words resonate with him. They offer a small comfort, the budding hope that there those who will be able to come around the way that he wants them to. Ranger wouldn't have minded taking that burden on himself. Maybe that would have made it easier for both of them, or maybe he would have just felt frustrated with that choice. ]
I guess I could forgive them for being upset, even if they were wrong. But y'know, they should be able to get it. Instead they're acting like idiots and fighting with each other, picking arguments with me, and going after anyone who disagrees. Who the Hell do think they are to judge?
[ Especially when they're going after the ones who are important to him. ]