Sara Chidouin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
samuraiwomen) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
yogen2022-03-04 09:37 pm
samuraiwomen) wrote in yogen2022-03-04 09:37 pm
Entry tags:
like a bitter stranger
Who: Everyone
What: Our monthly family meeting.
When: March 5th, 2000.
Where: Yogen dorms common room.
Warnings: Discussions of murder, suicide, child death...more?
[ A message goes up on the forums late Friday evening.
S.chidouin: Group meeting in the dorms Saturday. 12:00. No punching. No stabbing. I'll bring stickers.
If your character would not find a post from Sara worth listening too, Bonnie is wandering around, vaguely noting how important this meeting is, and how very much you should attend. No further details are forthcoming.
The meeting itself is a quiet affair. The fireplace is not lit, there are no snacks. Sara waits in the corner for everyone to arrive and get settled and then she clears her throat to speak. ]
As most of you know... [ It's hard to start, but her voice gets firmer as she goes on. ] We spent the last two months investigating Maya Arisu's murder. That case is solved. A few weeks ago, Bonnie-chan and I found the culprit.
Rantaro Amami killed Maya Arisu, Hiro Arisu, the vice principal and is presumably responsible for the scene with Keigo Arata. He is also dead. I just figured...everyone should know. To many people got hurt the last few months. I'm sorry.
[ She fiddles with her hair. That's all...she really has to say. There's not much more then that as the gist of it. ]
What: Our monthly family meeting.
When: March 5th, 2000.
Where: Yogen dorms common room.
Warnings: Discussions of murder, suicide, child death...more?
[ A message goes up on the forums late Friday evening.
S.chidouin: Group meeting in the dorms Saturday. 12:00. No punching. No stabbing. I'll bring stickers.
If your character would not find a post from Sara worth listening too, Bonnie is wandering around, vaguely noting how important this meeting is, and how very much you should attend. No further details are forthcoming.
The meeting itself is a quiet affair. The fireplace is not lit, there are no snacks. Sara waits in the corner for everyone to arrive and get settled and then she clears her throat to speak. ]
As most of you know... [ It's hard to start, but her voice gets firmer as she goes on. ] We spent the last two months investigating Maya Arisu's murder. That case is solved. A few weeks ago, Bonnie-chan and I found the culprit.
Rantaro Amami killed Maya Arisu, Hiro Arisu, the vice principal and is presumably responsible for the scene with Keigo Arata. He is also dead. I just figured...everyone should know. To many people got hurt the last few months. I'm sorry.
[ She fiddles with her hair. That's all...she really has to say. There's not much more then that as the gist of it. ]
no subject
[ She takes a step back, hugging her arms to her shoulders as she stares at Ranger. She can't really even understand why he's angry. He's just being cruel all of a sudden, like when they were upset about Midori. She doesn't get it... ]
He killed three people and lied to everyone. That doesn't go away no matter how good his reasons are!! Who knows what he saw? He still did it!
[ It's because she's done the same, for less, that she knows you can't excuse it away. She feels terrible, but she's trying to be better. Amami just left...she can't let everything end on unanswered questions. ]
no subject
[ First by letting him off during the questioning, then a second time by allowing him the weeks needed to complete his plan.
It's not fair, really, and some part of him understands that. The rational part of his brain understands that it's not really anyone's fault. This is life, and this is what Amami chose. It was important enough for him to kill for, important enough for him to die for, and important enough for him to live for. That's why it's not sad at all.
But it's frustrating to see those efforts trampled and crushed like it's nothing more than the autumn leaves beneath one shoes. ]
He had something he was willing to kill and die for. Why shouldn't that matter? It's 'cause he did something, and you didn't, and now you're blaming him for it. Must be nice to have a convenient target. Keeps you from having to look at yourself. Just like--
[ Midori's going to come drag him off to keep him from saying anything more now because poor Sara doesn't deserve this. ]
no subject
[ look who comes in at an convenient time? conversations with participants aren't bad, but there's a line that shouldn't be crossed, a piece of the past that shouldn't be brought up with so many people. now, they don't want to break her, then that'll be no good, she'll wind up accepting whatever's thrown at her because there's nothing else that can cut deep. that sort of pain doesn't satisfy anyone, and sure as hell won't satisfy ranger.
lightly. ]
I have something to share.
[ you know, like all amnesiacs would, as he stand by ranger's side, touching his shoulder. ]
Let's run along, shall we? We'll leave Miss Sara to her [ faux ] productivity.
no subject
...
...
He recognizes that tone. He's puling him away before can sink his fangs in and tear out the throat of the person before him. But a person should expect this much when they start throwing out accusations and criticism, right? They should be willing to tear apart every word and thought that's thrown at them and shove them down their conversation partner's throat so they choke on them, choke and struggle and have their throat ripped apart by the sharp edges.
But then, Safalin said she was probably already broken. ]
... Right.
[ He shakes his head, sounding dissatisfied, but just that interruption seems to have been enough to keep him from going further. ]
You should try to understand him. He was stupid though, so no need to imitate... For your own sake too.
[ For her own sake, and because Amami deserves it. There's still a harsh edge to the words, but less than before. He stares off to the side for a few seconds, biting his lip behind the ice cream cone that hides his face. Then he shakes his head and starts off. ]
no subject
[ It's not nothing that she felt that way...she chose to believe in Subaru too. It might have been a blind eye, she might have been stupid, but what was the alternative? Just...assume everyone is lying to her, using their friendship to lead her away from what they wanted. That's the kind of thinking that got people killed.
She's upset... she's angry. She doesn't know what to do about the situation, just that Amami wasn't the person she thought he was, and he'd used her trust for his own ends. Can't that be a crime enough to hate him? When she acted like that, she deserved the hatred she got. She knows that's what Ranger is about to say...she doesn't know why Midori stopped him from saying it. She's heard it before.
It feels very wide, the gulf between her and Ranger. Sara doesn't understand him at all. She thought they got along well enough...but why at every turn does he always seem to... ]
Why can't you try to understand me?
[ When her feelings are hurt...why is Ranger always the first to get angry? Midori, Amami, they both hurt her, but Ranger always springs to defend them first. It feels like Sou's foreign hate from so long ago, springing up from a place Sara can't see.
She wants to chase after, but with Midori standing there, she doesn't know what words to say. Something personal suddenly feels scary. ]
no subject
he claps his hands together gently to grasp sara's attention, just in case she's too shaken up to focus properly. ]
Try... try... try... isn't that the problem? Trying isn't the exact same thing as "doing". Trying is the same as... not doing.
[ that's asking for a lot, isn't it? wasn't if this was that boy "trying", he would be frowned upon for doing it, and since he did do something, he's still being prosecuted for it. why should sara be spared, what did she do aside from accuse and give them the bad news? no one has any right to be upset with anyone, but it does break midori's heart to see his poor, little participant break down over something like this. ]
They could say... you didn't try hard enough, and this is your fault for not stopping him. No one wants to hear that, now do they? So why don't you continue your discussion with someone else Miss Sara, because it appears that Ranger no longer wishes to continue if his words fall on deaf ears.
no subject
It's throwing away all of the parts of a person that are inconvenient, then hating them for the fact that they refused to see them properly.
Of course he understands that. He understands how naive they are, how much they want to trust, how much it hurts when that trust is breached. How it feels like everything was a lie when the person was presenting everything. None of them can understand each other. None of them can get close without hurting one another. That's how it always is.
Midori was right, but even so he hesitates for just a moment. It's always like that. It's the same as the way Komaeda always gives him just a little pause, and he has to take the smallest step back to run through his own thoughts anew. But his colleague already commenting for both of them, and he's not able to contradict that. But what would he even say? How can he express those thoughts that rattle around? ]
Believing in someone means seeing the worst parts of them... But Hiyori's right.
[ There's a bit of hesitation, but it dissipates quickly, ]
It's not gonna do any good for you to get all worked up.
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Even if its my fault... [ Is it? ] I was talking to Ranger, not you.
[ She doesn't like him just coming in and deciding how Ranger feels...she doesn't like Midori at all. But she can't force anything but a helpless look when Ranger seems to agree with Midori that she's a failure. ]
No...that's not right. Believing in people means trying to see the best. It means trusting someone... understanding someone is different. You can say I didn't understand Amami, Ranger, but I believed in him.
[ She's not going to say a word more with Midori around. If she does, maybe she'll tip over to anger. She won't walk away, but she'll let them go, if they want... ]
no subject
[ they're supposed to be classmates, love interests, married. why is she acting like this? he will frown just a little, as if he even cares about what's happening at the moment. ]
I'm curious, and you can take your time with the answer... do you believe or believed in him? They're two different things.
[ because the latter speaks that she had given up on him because his actions have became a problem for her. if she can't understand him, if she can't believe in him, what else is there? ]
If you no longer believe in him, that's okay. No one will force you.
no subject
Amami had tried though - not just with Ranger, but with Sara too. Why else would he have let her figure it out? ]
... No need to assign fault. If you made any mistakes, you do better. If you don't, then you don't need to worry about it.
[ Amami succeeded, and those who wished to stop him failed. Assigning blame to any one person is pointless when these situations are full of shifting parts and pieces that align just right to create these situations.
As for the man standing next to him - ]
You talk too much, Hiyori. Didn't you say you talked to talk to me about? In that case, let's talk.
[ He had come to collect Ranger because he was going too far, right? There's no need for him to make idle chitchat in order to do that. ]