commences: (Default)
AL HAITHAM ([personal profile] commences) wrote in [community profile] yogen2021-04-27 01:24 pm

you shouldn't waste your time with a loser like me | closed.

Who: Nagito Komaeda ([community profile] raffle) and Shuichi Saihara ([personal profile] unsurely)
When: April 27, midnight.
What: Plot clue — "State of existence," just say Komaeda's "state of crazy" and he's Saihara's problem now.
Warnings: Komaeda being Komaeda.

( komaeda doesn't really sleep properly like he should, and most nights consist of him moving here or there without warning — sitting still just isn't him, especially when he has to work unlike the others. some rest during this time, but komaeda's too obsessed with hope to let his nights slip him by, especially when it's going to be a quiet one yet again. he wonders, "what can i do now," to help push his fellow classmates so they continue making a hope that'll overcome any problem that they face. that's how his nights typically go alone, left to his thoughts and ideas they may get him somewhere or just leave him for dead. he doesn't care the consequences, really. he can hear the footfalls of his own steps as he passes through the hallway, and his eyes stay to the floor, staring at his own shadow crafted by the light of the moon outside the window.

and soon all sound should wash away and leave him to his thoughts, or that's what he thought as he's met with a sudden noise that makes his eyes widen. it's unfamiliar at this time, and he's been here for almost a month and hasn't heard anything akin to it. it's sharp in his ears, causing him to raise his hands to cover one to see if he's imagining things — yet, the sound echoes loud. between the recently earned tally within the day and this, it all leads back to one thing...

he's unsure, though, such a change in ambience from one mood to another reminds him a lot like before on the island at the start, so he has his reservations. he's quick to glare in direction of the windows before his face softens, and he glances at the various doors he's walking by — people have to be up if they hear this. it's the first one he decides to enter, rather lucky of him as he peeks in to see who inhabits it and there's a surprise waiting for him inside. he blinks once, then twice as the sound continues to roar above him as he remains where he stands, canting his head to the side confused. to see saihara asleep with this much noise is quite odd, so komaeda wonders if he's a heavy sleeper — from his appearance and the way he acts, he wouldn't think so. if not that, what he does appear to be is comfortable with his blanket draped along his shoulders and his head resting in his arms on the desk. komaeda watches from the door for a moment, wondering if he has any right here, but he pushes those thoughts away as he moves forward.

out of everyone he finds alone, it happens to be saihara shuichi, the ultimate detective and that thought is enough to make him smile, obsessively so. it's short-lived as he manages to walk towards his sleeping body, and with another desk positioned in front of him, komaeda pushes it back (the sound of it scraping along the floor) so that he can properly squat down in front of the ultimate. the length of his fingers hang onto the side of the desk that he's on, and his chin rests along the surface. his hand slowly reach out in his curiosity, wondering how someone could sleep during a raging storm — it sounds heavy, and the random pangs of thunder echoes within the classroom as well that could wake anyone. every time komaeda attempts to inch his hands closer to saihara's head, his hands freeze at every loud sound. is this... a sign of bad luck? being near him?

he doesn't know at the moment as he watches the youth's sleeping form, his eyes trained on his face just to see if he'll stir or not anytime soon. next, it's with cold, organic fingers that komaeda pinches at a few locks of hair that rest along saihara's forehead, admiring the texture for a moment as he rubs them between. )
unsurely: <user name="sisters"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐”ฝ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿž ))

time to finally paste these in... i'm sobbing

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He's not a heavy sleeper. That's exactly the point perhaps, the first little detail that should have tipped Komaeda off that something doesn't add up. But sometimes I guess, you're just Saihara's slightly unhinged late-night visitor and you aren't looking for things to make sense when there's hope on your brain the whole time. Otherwise, you might draw the quite obvious conclusion instead, or at least start to wonder -- could it be that the person asleep in this classroom perhaps... doesn't hear it? What if you're the only one?

Because that's certainly the case.

Saihara's night is silent, and long. His day has encompassed a heavy conversation that's given him much to think of; and much more to do as well, keeping him up to late hours he hasn't pulled in a while. There's a can on a corner of the desk, still half-filled with what used to be hot coffee that has long since run cold. Pieces of paper are scattered around the open notebook that lies in the center, all of them with small notes; maybe if he checked at the times when the moonlight filters in past the clouds from outside, Komaeda might even be able to make out bits and pieces, past Saihara's arms which press flatly over the pages, his own head atop.

Things like a rough outline of how the crawlspaces connect a few rooms, and scribbles such as "time frame: 6PM - 3AM" or "Ultimate Talents are limited knowledge" that seem pretty orderly and grouped up despite their bare-bones nature. ]


...?

[ It's only at the touch of fingers through his hair that he stirs, a little sluggish, at first only because the tip of a strand brushes lightly across skin. But as his head tries to shake that off in his unconscious state, he hits Komaeda's knuckles with his temple, and the very next moment he's jumping up with a groggy, but startled gasp. ]

...Komaeda-kun!?

[ He tries to say it, but it's past midnight after all, so only a couple of seconds later through his still half-asleep state, it sinks in. That he won't be heard. Which is why his next move is to feel around for his PDA, remembering where he's left it on the desk. It seems that from being jolted awake like this, the adrenaline makes him able to wake pretty quickly. Or maybe it's the general state of alert, the fact that no sleep in this school... has ever, for one minute, felt truly safe. ]

What are you doing here? Did something happen?

[ Whichever it is, that's what he ends up typing quickly on the screen, before he turns it for the other to see. ]
unsurely: <user name="luck"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐”ฝ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿœ๐Ÿž ))

imagine doing this w/o textarea

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He takes some time, to rub the corners of his sleeve across his eyes as an attempt to get the drowsiness out -- moments that he thought would be reserved for Komaeda taking out his own PDA and then typing a reply. It's only in the middle of the gesture that he realizes, pausing uncertainly, as he catches sight of not only the other not grabbing anything but... his lips are moving? Saihara tries to read them for a second, his own arm forgotten to drop back across the desk, where it moves a page and the corner of something yellow sticks briefly out from beneath a notebook corner.

It's too late though; he's only caught the end of whatever's being said, and it's not enough to make anything out. ]


...

[ He's painfully aware, all of a sudden, of just how intimate this is. He'd drifted off at some point through his evidence review, the memory hazy of what exactly he'd been trying to connect before blacking out, and the next thing he knows is he's waking up with Komaeda's fingers through his hair, their faces close to each other over the desk. It takes all of Saihara's willpower not to self-consciously reach back up and try to touch the same strands as that sinks in, though he feels himself fluster.

Wait, what is he even thinking about...!? He's quick to grab his PDA and just type back again. ]


Komaeda-kun... it's past midnight? We can't talk to each other, you'll have to type.

[ Did the other just... forget?? Something tells Saihara that might not be quite it. ]
unsurely: <user name="unsurely"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐”ฝ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ ๐Ÿš ))

BRO STOP I WOULD'VE LITERALLY CRIED also i almost pasted ur tag instead of mine, help

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Were this Komaeda's other hand, he might have flinched more than he actually does, or even let out a yelp of surprise from the back of his throat. It's just... too soon, after his only half-successful attempt to recover from the proximity he realized they had... but the cold sensation of metal against his skin is what stops him, grounds him a little before he can. His lips only part for a moment, before being stopped with yet another mental reminder about the time, and the futility of trying to use spoken words.

Even if Komaeda, for some reason, hadn't seemed to feel the same. ]


No... it's okay. I'm not worried about that.

[ He types back at first once released, a little guiltily since he assumes it's his own reaction that caused this mess. It's not like he minded that Komaeda touched him, he was just... surprised. But there's no point to lingering on it, and his initial question sits still unanswered. Saihara tries to think back about the other's actions, or the portions he hazily remembers through his grogginess, combing for something that might offer any clues.

But the only thing that stands out in the end... is still something more recent. That's right. Does Komaeda always type like that...? ]


I don't mind if you touch me, but... is there something wrong with your hand? When you were typing your message, it kind of looked like you're in pain.

[ Is that it? Or is he overthinking it... ]
unsurely: <user name="sisters"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐”ฝ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ› ))

i'm crying we're GREAT at this

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It started today...? He doesn't remember anything having happened, aside from the meeting with Maya that he and Natsume had. Though he supposes he wouldn't know if Komaeda went through something, considering he was distracted with that... but either way, if it was large enough to leave side-effects, at least a rumor or two would have spread through the school about it. So did the other just injure himself in some way...? Somewhere nobody saw?

...Yeah, he's just deep in those thoughts and gives no reaction at all to the noise Komaeda makes with his arm. Pretty obvious he just doesn't hear a thing. ]


I can't just ignore it!? You're always like this... when it's about you, you'll brush it off no matter how bad it gets.

[ He types that quickly, hoping the urgency and the punctuation he chooses on purpose convey enough of his feelings. Sure, Komaeda might tell him it's nothing, but there's no way Saihara won't worry when it's confirmed he's in pain, and he can kind of see it for himself.

That said, though... as carefully as he eyes the other's palm and his fingers, he can't really see anything out of place from where he is. And if he went any further on his own... that'd just be a breach of Komaeda's private space. ...Why is he suddenly so self-conscious about this? ]


I'll only take a brief look... alright? I promise, so if you don't mind... then give me your hand.
unsurely: <user name="unsurely"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐•Š๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™๐Ÿš ))

oh ur right this is just a fever dream

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Thanks... that makes it even worse. ]

That's not what I meant!!

[ He's pretty sure he's turned a trace of something, not that he can see himself or (he hopes) it'd be that apparent in the darkness of the night, without proper lighting and only the moon from outside and the screens of their PDAs to rely on. (Wait... can Komaeda even see the moon if it's storming outside... important questions from me but Saihara can see it so yeah. The moon.) But his face feels hot... and how is he supposed to ask if he doesn't type it, anyway? Everything's silent. ]

...Ah.

[ He's so distracted he actually does speak aloud, if only for that brief cut-in before he remembers it's pointless. And... fails to realize Komaeda can hear it, I guess. But what prompts it precisely is the way the other scratches at his wrist -- it hadn't occurred to him because it's not like they've spoken about it in a while, but... now that he thinks of it, Komaeda's right arm bears something the rest of them only find on their left. Probably because that one's a prosthetic, right?

At least, with that in mind, everything seems to click in Saihara's head so he forgets his embarrassment again. ]


Is it about those weird marks...? Did something happen to them?

[ He slides the message over quickly, eyeing Komaeda across the desk, because if it really is about that... he can't help but worry even more. ]
unsurely: <user name="sisters"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐”ฝ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ))

maybe u did... maybe this IS dr decadence

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
...

[ Something... feels off.

He can't tell what exactly, only that a sensation akin to a shiver runs down along his back and he freezes midway, his own hands hovering in motionless silence over the screen of the PDA he's set down on the desk. It sounds ridiculous even in his own head, but it seems like the person in front of him... almost knows something he doesn't. Like Komaeda has experienced something Saihara hasn't, and there's a crucial piece he's missing to solve this puzzle. For a second, his gaze insecurely follows the other's through the window, but there's nothing out of the ordinary about the scenery.

Is it related to why Komaeda was forgetting to type, and kept talking? What's going on...?

He's the one who asked to be allowed to look, and yet now he hesitates, to the point that the PDA light dims, and then switches off completely from the lack of use. And Saihara still hasn't moved. He wills himself forward, as if jolted by that disappearance of light, tilting Komaeda's wrist towards the window since that's now the most illuminated side. In contrast to the scratches from the metal arm, however, Saihara's own touch is gentle... he grabs the other's hand with his own, flinching slightly from the skin-to-skin contact before he settles to hold it.

And with his other... he slowly rolls up the sleeve, careful not to brush the bruised area with either fabric or his fingers. It hurts, right...? He doesn't want to make it worse. ]
unsurely: <user name="unsurely"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐•Š๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ›๐Ÿ› ))

no this is a V3 love hotel scene after what u did to it

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ yes you can, here you go ]

...wh!?

[ He's visibly startled, only a brief sound of surprise even he can't hold back or control escaping through his parted lips, barely noticed in the middle of everything else. What's going on...? There's the sticky sensation of still-warm blood on the tips of his fingers, unintentional he imagines, as he was pulling the sleeve and then Komaeda had flinched. But that's not the problem; and it isn't even that he's worried about it bleeding. The other had been scratching it through the fabric with metal appendages, so it kind of makes sense it'd do that...

No. The problem is something else. It looks... just like the others, but new.

Why...?

Saihara's got considerably more than these on his own wrist, and he's never seen any of them do that. And as a matter of fact... wait a minute. Didn't Komaeda only have six before? Where did the new one come from? He wouldn't even put it past him to carve it on his own, considering how he can be at times, but... no matter how you look at it, it'd simply be impossible to make it so equal and identical to the rest.

There are so many questions swirling around in his head, that Saihara can't help but glance upwards -- he needs to see the other's expression at the moment, or else he feels he'll go crazy with his own overthinking. But... what he catches instead is the end of the motion of Komaeda's lips, with the words "to you" the only two that seem clear from where he sees. And in a moment of clarity, as if the brief glow of moonlight across the other's features enlightens him too, it all clicks. ]


I thought so... you aren't the careless type, Komaeda-kun. You actually haven't been forgetting about the silence at all. The real reason you kept trying to talk to me... was because you can hear me, right? But... why? Is this related to that?
unsurely: <user name="sisters"> (**๐Ÿ”Ž โ‹ฎ ๐”ฝ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿž ))

he should've done that from the start

[personal profile] unsurely 2021-06-19 03:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah...!

[ He reacts almost immediately, the strangled sound in the back of his throat being joined by his shoulders coming up as his whole body stiffens. He might have jumped from his seat right away, if only he didn't have the other's fingers wrapped around his wrist, the force of the metal far overpowering anything he could do with his regular strength. Besides, even as he does try to rise from his seat, his legs feel like jelly and just give out right away, leaving him with no option but to fall back where he was.

He tries to jerk at his wrist a few times, as if the other will let him go if he does it enough. ]


Wh-Wh-What are you doing...!? Komaeda-kun!?

[ What other choice does he have than to hope he was right and the other can hear him? He's barely able to articulate even those few words, his voice pitched high and every word sounding choked, like he's forgotten to breathe in-between. ]

...Y-You're going too far! This is beyond not being mindful of personal space!

[ Which is a problem they've had before that he's had to be firm about on occasion, but this is really... What's going on!? ]