yogen | may missions

[ This is the opposite of what they were supposed to come back to, but Ranger supposes it could be worse. As of right now, the only casualty seems to be a couch that appears to have been flung clear across the room, but far from ideal considering the person knocked to the ground is one of the two here that are equipped to handle what by all accounts appears to be a horror movie monster.

On the plus side, the monster doesn't have eyes, so it's unlikely to recognize Hiyori as the person who rudely kept turning the lights on and off. With that in mind, he's just going to stick his hand in Hiyori's pocket to see if there's anything of value in there before being quick to put a bit of distance between the two of them. ]

[ I hope this has been a valuable life lesson about the dangers of using your PDA as a rock.

Despite the gaping hole in it, the monster seems to be faring much better than the rest of the group, and the opportunity to take advantage of Dito's prone state isn't missed. By time he's started moving to get up the monster will already be grabbing him in its bone-crushingly tight grip. It's not unlike watching a toddler pick up a doll, right down to the part where it's first inclination seems to be sticking anything it can get its hands onto in its mouth. It prefers to start with the head, chomping it off at the neck, finding that it puts an abrupt halt to all the squirming and fidgeting that disturb it, and as such he's going to find himself staring directly at those dozens of sets of teeth inside of it.

Fortunately, the opening and closing of doors and the sound of footsteps is just enough to distract it, and its chest neck tilts as though it were looking up to see who'd joined them.

The group should probably figure something out before it bites his head off, especially since this is probably a three for the price of one sale as far as its concerned. ]

[ he can't break free or anything because my roll fucking sucks ass, but he sure is wriggling and kicking his feet. he's groaning and trying his best right now to reach for the dagger at his hip, but it's pretty futile when the monster has him so tight in its grip.

he only stops trying and widens his eyes again when he sees where the upper half of his body is headed. ]

No, no, no—

[ he starts struggling harder, trying to shift his weight (which isn't much, unfortunately) to kick at the monster or stop it with his feet. ]

Do not mishandle my things.

[ dito is disposable, expendable, and all other words that can put him in the grave, but at the very exact moment he's not too fond of his toy being abused. if anyone should be causing major harm it in fact has to be midori himself—- his eyes remain fixed on the sight before him, and between the squirming and razor sharp teeth crowned into a circle around its mouth, there's an immediate frown at the sight. ]

And as for you... I haven't given you permission to die yet.

[ there's more uses for him as he focuses on that rather than ranger digging in his coworker's pockets, but he is rewarded with a two bottles. one is a bottle of handmade cologne with the writing with love, from maple written on the front, and the other happens to be hand sanitizer with the little balls inside. those are now in ranger's possession.

with the spear in his right hand, he slowly lifts it up as his grip tightens around it. it's actually a disgusting weapon that's normally covered in blood and guts, but he doubts he'll have to feel the sensation for long knowing where it and his hand is going. something inside midori clicks, and his right hand shoots out with the spear being launched (along with his hand) towards the creature and dito like a rocket. now if it skewers dito, then he'll be fine, call it punishment for trying to die when midori didn't say so.

the target is to stab the monster through it's gaping mouth, hoping that the spear cuts clean through which should allow dito the chance to regain his weapon.

all at the expense of midori's hand.

lonnie voice: head or hand man, head or hand! ]

[ The kicking is annoying! This is why it starts with the head. Humans are far too noisy, they move far too much, and it doesn't like it none too much either! In fact, it proves to be distracting enough that its completely unaware of Midori's actions. The spear skewers Dito clean through the chest, which does break some of the momentum, but it has the intended effect of sinking into the delicate flesh in its mouth.

There's a blood curdling shriek loud enough to shatter eardrums and it stumbles back, stomping against the ground and flailing and groping as it stumbles back. Its grip finds the spear after a couple of steps, yanking the skewed Dito out of its mouth. It must be a sensitive area because the blood from the previous stab wound is nothing when compared to the fountain of blood that behinds to pour out once the wound is no longer stemmed, and it shudders violently as it collects itself.

But it's a creature that runs on instinct to start, so its next course of action is clear, and Midori would do well to think fast because both the spear and Dito are being thrown in his direction. Unfortunately, Midori's hand does not return to him with him. ]

Edited (i should probably clarify huh) 2022-06-06 03:18 (UTC)

[ Ranger doesn't want to be anywhere near anyone in this room right now! He can hold his own well enough, but a few good shots isn't exactly enough to take down an oversized monster that barely blinks when impaled, and he prefers a more indirect method. While the rest are distracted, he's going to slip around to the back, keeping hims movements as light and quiet as possible. He stuffs a torn piece of cloth into hand sanitizer as he moves along, then transfers it to the open cologne bottle before tucking the former back into his pocket and taking out a lighter instead.

It's probably dangerous to do something like this inside, isn't it? But, well, things are already going pretty wrong, and it's been awhile since things have been this interesting. That aside, he too finds himself irritated that it was trying to eat one of theirs. That sort of behavior just isn't acceptable.

He turns the bottle over in his hand once to make sure everything is right. Maple probably didn't intend for it to be used this way, but maybe she'll accept that her love protected Hiyori. Either way, that's a problem for the future, and for now the click of the lighter is no doubt drowned out in all the commotion, as is the flame that bursts to life when he touches it to the bottle, and Ranger wastes no time in throwing his makeshift weapon at the irritated, pained, and possibly soon aflame monster. ]

[ dito had barely registered midori and ranger's presence again, all things considered. that being the ugly, toothy mouth that's a little too close to his head for comfort.

oh, he's sick. he's wondering what he can do possibly delay the annoyance of having to deal with a major (maybe fatal?) injury. at least until he hears a familiar voice, even if he isn't really fixated on it because goddammit he's about to lose his head to this fucking thing.

at least that's what he's thinking, until he feels the sudden sharp pierce of his own spear delving through his chest.

hell, he thinks he hears it before he even feels it — the sound of it rapidly hitting through flesh, the dull pain that permeates a bit too slowly for him to full comprehend what's happening. that is, until he looks down and sees his own spear impaled through him.

fan-fucking-tastic.

he groans more in frustration than pain as he winces one eye closed, hands moving down to grab at the base of his spear that's presently pierced through the front of him as he continues to struggle, thinking maybe he can pull the spear out himself and keep on.

but he doesn't end up having any time to pull it out, because suddenly he's getting thrown across the room. he hears the thing screeching in pain at least, registering a flash of light in the corner of his eye, but dito's really not focusing on much aside from noticing it. he's far more focused on his own spear that's currently skewered through him. ]

[ dito is like 4'3" honestly, but 6'4" with the spear impaled through his body that's being thrown in his direction. his hand didn't come back (unfortunately), and this means after this he'll have to make himself a new one. when add returns, he'll thank him for the supply of synthetic flesh waiting for him.

midori takes a few steps back as the smell of alcohol and cologne burning captures his attention for only a moment, and while the monster will probably have a disgusting, bitter taste in its mouth if ranger manages a hole-in-one (of course, why wouldn't a nineteen allow for it)? then in midori's favor, he'll out stretch his arms to properly catch dito in a more bridal style manner. this is not what he was foreseeing as of today, but it's at this moment he holds onto his ratdog before promptly dropping him on the floor in front of him.

ranger cast the first stone at the glass house,so the monster shouldn't be focused on them for now. ]

Dito.

[ only midori can do these things and break his toys, but seeing him in such a state gives him such an unpleasant feeling. he truly can't stand knowing pain came from another source, and one that the other will keep his mind on for the majority of their time here. ]

Let me help you.

[ taking a step forward, he steps on the disciple's chest beneath him to keep him in place, eyes sparing a glance before looking towards the monster. he twists the spear at first, and there's the thick smell of blood in the air as he forces the weapon to slide out of dito's body before dropping it onto his chest. ]

[ The chestmouth monster is now on fire.

The monster catches the molotov cocktail directly in its mouth. It bursts with the sound of shattered glass and the crackling of flames as sharp teeth snap down on it, filling the air with a disgusting mixture of gore, burning flesh, alcohol and too-strong perfume. The flames spread through its mouth and where the liquid had splattered and formed trails, and the fact that it's still standing and more irritable than ever is a testament to how sturdy it is.

It's movements are growing more sluggish and clumsy, weaker than they had been before as blood pools on the floor beneath it from the injuries that weren't immediately cauterized, and it seems likely that it's nearly death, but it's to still be able to lunge and take a swing at Ranger, who has successfully grabbed its undivided attention. Think fast. ]

[ The good news is that the action has the intended effect. The bad news is that it has the intended effect.

Ranger is nothing if not quick, seeming to appear and disappear at a moment's notice as needed, but he wasn't quite expecting to step on the PDA that's still on the floor. He doesn't quite trip, but it does throw him off balance as it skids to the side to await its next victim, but that's just enough of a delay to get catch by that punch and thrown back - as if this wasn't enough of a circus - and slam into one of the nearby armchairs right by the entrance to the west wing. The chair topples over and crashes to the floor with Ranger in tow before rolling off of it.

He's probably fine. ]

[ dito is really having a hard time registering what's going on here, because he's got his own goddamn spear pierced through him and he's being tossed around like a rag doll.

this kind of sucks! a lot! and he's a little out of it between midori's arms to the floor. which is fine, because the impact of the floor and his spear inside of his own chest causes him to start squirming again.

his own hands grab tight at the front of the spear once again, but it's hard to pull it out on his own like this.

thankfully (?) there's midori. who is stepping on him right now, and dito twitches as his own hands tighten around his spear as the sensation of it being twisted around inside of the cavity of his chest causes him to groan in a strained way. instinctively, he wants to push midori off of him, but he knows what the other is doing. so he forces himself to let go of the spear at the last second.

there's a gasp when the spear finally pulls out from his flesh, even as a massive release of blood follows. it's fine, it's fine, it's fine — dito's used to this. it's not like he hasn't been stabbed before, whether it be for combat or pleasure.

he scowls as his hands immediately move to grab toward his own wound, only to wince as his own weapon is dropped on top of him immediately.

that's fine too, he thinks.

he's getting pretty pissed off by now at this entire situation, and one of his hands moves to grab hold of his spear before he rolls over onto his knees. there's an emanation of heat and everything, and he's more or less also focused on the fact that there's a fire right now...

but he's staring at the floor and his own blood splattering onto it in such a lesser degree than it should be. he can thank his own healing abilities later, but for now he's just going to move to shove his spear's sharp end into the ground with a grunt, grabbing onto it so as to lift himself up to his feet again by it. ]

[ Fresh from her fun distraction, B.B. appears back the way from whence she came, and is... immediately kinda floored by what she sees. How did things get worse since she left? Honestly...

Luckily, she's been saving something for this particular occasion. She whistles, attempting to draw the monster's attention directly to her. ]

Heel, boy!

[ Hoisting the basket onto her shoulder-- ]

The rest of you, get lost!

[ That's as much warning as she's giving as she immediately fires her very precious missile from her very precious basket. Enough fooling around with this thing! ]

[ The monster is too distracted by Ranger to immediately notice the next intruder, and it's not until she whistles that it finally turns its attention to her. By now it's covered in injuries, with large amounts of blood pooling at its feet, and it's in no shape to dodge a a missle of all things.

The missle hits dead on, and the floor and walls shake from the mix of the implosion and the monster's collapse onto the floor. There's a few twitches of its body, its gaping maw trying to shut, but it finally falls still after a few seconds. The room falls silent aside from the noise the group is making and the crackling of the dying embers of the flames on its body. The air is still filled with the a disgusting smell of cologne, alcohol, smoke and blood and burnt flesh all mixed together.

But at least nothing else in the room has been set on fire so they're not at risk of being burned alive. ]

[ sitting his ass down and LISTENING ]

[ stfu you're standing your ass up and clicking because midori wants to take a picture.

don't ask but he's forcing dito to click the button portion so they can have this commemorative photo of a missle connecting with a monster in flames, the explosion, and ooooh! the lighting looks so nice.

bonnie looks sooooo heroic! ]

[ It's not ideal to have someone using a missle while he's still in close proximity, but fortunately Ranger doesn't have to deal with the shock the system that a human would. There's a moment of pain as he falls back with the furniture and rolls a few feet away, but he's quick to scramble and duck behind another piece of furniture once he hears the warning.

There's another loud explosion and a flash of light, a loud crash and the splatter of gore, and then not much of anything. The doll shifts onto his knees once the commotion has passed, folding his arms on an armrest as he examines the scene. The monster is dead, Bonnie has her basket on her shoulder, and then there's Midori and Dito (one missing a hand and the other covered in gore,) and furniture destroyed and scattered. Ranger himself was fortunate enough to suffer any major damage, though he has to twist a few limbs to make sure everything is still set properly.

It's quite the spectacle. He slaps his hands down on the armrest and pushes himself back up to his feet. ]

Ahaha... Nice job... You still alive over there?

[ The former half is aimed at Bonnie, the latter at Dito. Midori is fine. ]

[ honestly, dito might've just clicked the camera itself via swatting at midori's hand (he only has one and that would be funnier if they weren't in the current situation) to try and warn the other about what's going to occur while he's rushing to the opposite end of the room. ideally to duck behind some coverage or whatever, but who knows with what's going on in here.

either way, dito's fine. he'll eventually meander back toward the scene of the monster, seeing it blown up and the spattering of gore everywhere. it incites a reaction that isn't normal to anyone else, but he definitely feels his heart skip a beat again.

even though he's a little pissed he wasn't the one to take it down, but that's not the important part. ]

— Is it dead?

[ not exactly answering ranger's question at all, but it's fine. dito kind of maintains tunnel vision when it comes to things like this.

he's approaching the body of the monster, half curiously and half out of pure detestment since he's immediately digging his heel into the nearest open wound he can find. ]

No fucking way...

[ dito's chest and clothes are still stained with fresh blood, but he isn't acting like it particularly affects him whatsoever when he moves to shove his spear (that had just been impaled into his own chest a minute ago) into the monster's chest — the mouth thing, that disgusting area that's compensating for not having a head of its own. the thing that almost took off his own head, and dito's not exactly subtle about how pissed he is as he starts immediately taking to slicing and gutting at the monster's braised corpse. there's going to be chunks of flesh and spurts of blood in the process, all the while dito's laughing and occasionally twisting his weapon into the flesh before him.

he really has no restraint when it comes to things like this; so when one of his heels moves to stomp repeatedly and hard as he can at the headless stump, splattering more blood and personally tenderizing the flesh there—- just let that be. ]

It's dead, it's dead, it's dead, hahaha—

[ inshallah he will find midori's hand, but he hasn't even taken out his personal dagger to start gutting it more thoroughly here. ]

[ While she does take a bit of pleasure in the fact that she effortlessly got rid of this monster that clearly, three grown (to her?) men can't even handle, the way that Dito was getting his revenge on it was a little... much.

He's getting blood everywhere! ]

Sheesh, calm down. If you want credit for killing it, its yours.

[ She already got her payment, so she's fine with Dito getting the bragging rights. ]

No, no. Let him rejoice, otherwise he's annoying and complains about the lack of violence.

[ with the camera around his neck and his arms crossed against his stomach, midori examines the spectacle before them as dito plays with the dead body, and bonnie shows lack of enthusiasm to it. one by one he spares a glance at everyone's condition from the hole in dito's body, to seeing that bonnie appears to be generally well, and finally his attention stops at ranger who was sent pretty far. luckily his body is durable enough to handle those unfortunate circumstances unlike a normal human, but he keeps it in mind to check over him afterwards— all three of them, really. ]

That was a smart move on your part, Miss Bonnie, but you're all equally worthy of praise.

[ he tries not to look at dito with his blood covered hand mixed with guts and whoever knows what rotting juice was left sludging inside of its body. the end of his sleeve hands over where his wrist should be, obscuring the black inside from view which doesn't offer the opportunity for anyone to see what's inside. circuits? bolts? wires? who knows. ]

But I couldn't ignore the amazing use of a Molotov cocktail either! [ what did midori do aside from nothing? well... leave him alone. he moves on. ] Is there anything useful inside?

[ organs that he can keep? little goodies inside, he's already walking over to check the leftovers of the monster, and he'll want dito to possible cut open the stomach and so on, and so forth. ]

[ The beast is dead. It's body is sturdy and difficult to cut through, but with it being still Dito will find that he has a much easier time venting his frustrations on it. As he begins to cut it open, he'll find a fun surprise awaiting him. It's like taking a slice out of a surprise inside cake, but rather than candy spilling out what he'll find inside seems like it might be a person, or at least the remains of one. There's a second skeletal structure loosely attached to the first, pieces of muscle and bone still visible within the much larger structure.

There's not much left to identify the body, all the skin is gone along with much of the muscle, fat and organs. It's as though the monster had grown around the original body and slowly begun to meld with and consume it. It would be safe to say that it's in the final stages of processing. Still, the strands of long hair tangled up near what might be the final remains of a skull cracked open by a heart two sizes too large provide one hint, or at least they would were they not covered in gore. Jutting out of it appears to be a pink flower, amazingly free of any blood.

That aside, none of its biology seems to have any rhyme or reason to it - nothing connects quite right, and it's organs seem to be more for show than anything, but fortunately this has no impact on Dito's ability to tear it open. Fortunately, it also has no impact on Midori's hand being buried inside there. There's flesh and gore in and around it, but it seems to be all in one piece. ]

[ If Dito's well enough to throw a fit and tear into it like that, there's no need to worry about him. As for the other two, they don't seem to have sustained any damage at all. He checks himself over once, patting a few things and adjusting, but he can't find anything of immediate concern. It's fortunate that he was meant to be more durable than most. If he were human, he's pretty sure he'd be sitting down for awhile.

Instead he'll push himself up, placing his hands on his lower back as he pops it before walking over as though they weren't just dealing with a monster that took all four of them to take down, inspecting what's left of it from a distance away. He's not really interested in getting coated in blood splatter, but even at a glance it's easy to see that it's oddly made.. Well, that's something to be worried about later. ]

Yeppers, dead as a doornail. Nice timing on that one... Sheesh, what a pain in the ass that was.

[ He looks to Bonnie. ]

Find anything good?

I don't want credit, I want its goddamn heart—

[ he's in the middle of saying in response, even as the others' conversation is somewhat distant to him while he's in the middle of this. he's still capable of giving a response though, even if it might be on the more unhinged side due to his tunnel vision with this sort of thing.

at least, until he spots sight of something. it causes him to pause abruptly in the middle of bringing his spear down again. in fact, he stops reacting violently altogether as he uses his spear (sunken into the flesh of the monster) to keep himself steady while he drops to his knees, almost as if something's caught his interest here.

something that isn't an organ or a gross entrail, shockingly, but nonetheless it's familiar to dito, and his first thought is that he shouldn't be finding this here and why is he finding it here and is this what happened when zero disappeared from here—

it's all questions he knows he won't be getting any answers to, but he feels oddly drawn toward the bloodless flower and he's sure as hell not leaving it there. he doesn't want anyone else to have it or see it either, so it's a rash decision when he decides to (try) and discreetly pocket it.

thankfully, there's midori's hand here, too. it looks disgusting, unlike the flower which had been pristine. it's more in line with something dito would be inherently interested in, which is good since it gives him an excuse for suddenly being all up in this thing with piqued curiosity out of nowhere.

although there's plenty of entrails in here for dito to be excited about.

he laughs lightly to himself after hearing ranger's inquiry, grabbing at the superficial hand of the other's without any care for the rupturing organs he's treating none too gently surrounding it. if more blood squirts onto him, dito finds that merely as extra fun rather than an inconvenience. ]

Sure did...

[ he mutters while he's digging it out. in the end, he'll use his spare hand gripping his spear to lift himself upright again, turning to toss midori's disgusting, viscera-laiden hand overhead toward the other. ]

Catch!

Edited 2022-06-18 08:02 (UTC)

[ Midori wouldn't have needed to do anything! The manager doesn't take on tasks that the rest of them need to do. Bonnie and Dito were meant to be in the trenches! Ranger just happened to get involved, that kinda thing just happens. Either way, Bonnie giggles and gives Midori a curtsy at his compliment.

Along with Midori, she decides it's best to ignore Dito for now while he's covered in viscera and blood and instead dig in her pocket once Ranger asks about her findings. If they really wanted to know about the big thing she found, then they could ask her about it later. For now, she pulls out the lapis lazuli, holding it up with a fanfare. ]

Cute, isn't it? I had to fight off a couple of skeletons for it, but I'll accept this as a fee.

[ Plus the fabrege egg. And the feeling that she's been missing for so long, striking down a gross monster. With her back turned to the absolute gross bullshit happening nearby, she asks. ]

So. What was that supposed to be? Do we need to keep any of it?

[ Collecting it seems like another Dito job, though. ]

[ he leaves ranger and bonnie to their conversation, but he does manage to glance over to what is offered up, and it's a beautiful lapis lazuli that could match the moonstone they acquired. so they conversation was on the nose, it was about obtaining more crystals to place somewhere in the room and he's pretty sure they're close by to the alters or whatever is meant to bring out their importance.

happy that he was right, his eyes drop down to dito's insistent digging, and the hesitance in his movements is odd considering he can play in a dead body. he's like a pig happy enough to roll in shit, but here he is, frozen for a moment before returning back to digging away. he noticed something pristine devoid of blood and guts, and it looked like a petal with maybe more. he didn't obtain a clear view, but there's something nice inside that he's hiding from them.

hm, he'll focus on that a bit later, because he uses midori's hand, which he catches as a cover-up. whatever requires dito to go this far to hide must be of personal importance, and it's unlike him just to not be vocal about his findings. it's partly why he's annoying, but hiyori's in a good mood, and so with his hand back in his hand, he's watching as the liquid drips onto the floor. ]

Alright, it's time to move forward, isn't it? I believe everyone has found something nice to keep? ♡

[ now if only he had a towel to wipe up the mess, he does find the fact that his hand is in this state isn't charming at all. ]

Gross.

[ Midori's hand, that is, though Dito is pretty gross too. He can ignore the latter though, given that he'd be annoyed to if something had nearly just torn his head off. That said, he wonders if Midori will put the hand back on, or if they're going to be stuck with him being short one for the rest of the trip.

He places his hand on the small of his back, arching forward to pop it despite lacking the structure to properly do so. The gemstone catches his eye, however. It looks like they were right that this is nothing more than an elaborate scavenger hunt. It's a scavenger hunt that had better be worth all the trouble that they're going through. It's hardly enough to just gain a few trinkets of interest and one tor up corpse.

Ranger turns his head to glance at the monster next. ]

It looks like that guy was just the welcome wagon...Weird that something just left it here though. Anyway, that's a cute little trinket you got there.

[ It must not have much in the way of needs, unless it came in pretty recently, but that's something that they can work out later. Finally, he nods to Midori. ]

Two down, two to go, right? Should we split up again?

[ It should be fine as long as they go in pairs. ]

may missions

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roll: 17

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Re: roll: 19........i'm sick

kms

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a 13 has arrived

roll: 6....... bonnie the clock tower's achilles' heel

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roll: 14

roll: 17 get into it yuh

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perception: 18

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