open //

[cambium]

Who: Keigo, et al.
What: gestures broadly
When: end of may
Where: gestures broadly again
Warnings: none yet

[ Keigo opens their eyes to find themselves standing in the mirror room, staring at their own tired reflection a large mirror — with a pounding headache and the last vestiges of vertigo before the world rights itself again. Thinking back, the last thing they remember is being warm and comfortable under the covers on a cool winter night, the taste of hot chocolate still on their lips, the sound of a movie still playing in the background growing more distant and the lights dimming as their consciousness fades. Their joints are stiff and their mouth dry, their wrist sore from the extra tally mark now etched into it.


...


They spend a long time in that mirror room, sinking down onto the floor at rubbing at their wrist as they stare at the mirrors around them, gaze lingering on dense forest and wooden floorboards, flicking this way and that around halls of the school as if trying to find something— someone. It still feels like winter with how cold it is despite long sleeves and pants, breath fogging the glass even with them sitting an arm's length away, red ribbon loosened then removed from around their neck to replace the empty space around their left ankle.

Muddled memories aside, they're certain they've never been down here before, neither the mirror room nor any of these other rooms in the basement once they finally tear themselves away from the mirrors, letting out a terrified scream when something grabs at them when they try to leave and possibly shattering a mirror or four in the process of getting away, but if they don't turn around and look to confirm then it didn't happen and they don't get bad luck, they decided this rule just now.

Not even going to look inside the bloody summoning room, why is there a summoning room.

The hidden entrances and exits are still hidden to them, but hallways only have two ends: one looks like a shaft they're certain they don't have the upper body strength to climb up more than several meters without handholds, and the other leads out to the forest where they're going to walk out into and get hopelessly lost and eventually make their way back to campus maybe if they're lucky.

Then they'll be around wherever and whenever convenient. ]

Comments

[commences]

I pitied you at the start, I felt bad for you.

( that's what his feelings were at tbe beginning, but among many things and many people— their lives change just as the world turns. )

I started to see you differently, the dichotomy between how I felt about you at first, and how I felt about you towards the end was very big. It's why I knew you'd come back... It took awhile, and even if I seemed like a liar to some...

( with a shrug, he stares at the other. ) You're warm and kind, a bit of a crybaby, but you did your best to see happiness... you wanted people to be happy, and you were happy because we made you happy. You have a childlike innocence, and you used that cute face of yours to get your way!

( because they were so darn cute how could they not use their looks to obtain whatever they wanted from hugs or little meals, it was partially manipulation for idiots, but komaeda had never cared about that. instead, it was the hope inside of them that made komaeda stay, the motivation and drive of keigo pushing their limits to work along with everyone else.

they helped most people here have a purpose. )

But now... Do I pity you? No, I love you.

( like a father would their child, just like before, and there's no pity in those words. it's genuine, honest, because komaeda isn't one to tell lies, and he never got to tell the other that during their last interaction. )

[cambium]

[ Strange, how those few simple words squeezes at their heart and makes them want to cry— it should be the opposite, shouldn't it? They should be smiling, laughing, why does relief make it so hard to breathe? ]

...I love you too.

[ Can they have a hug? they're not even going to ask, they'll vault over the counter if that's what it takes to force Komaeda into a hug ]

I want to— no, I'm going to, make you as happy as you made me. So you won't ever ever doubt it, even if you forget.

[ So that even if they don't remember the words, they still remember the feelings- warm in their heart, heavy on their head, pain on their cheeks when pinched but nothing compared to when they smile so wide for so long it makes their whole face hurt. ]

[commences]

Ah, Kogamo-kun you—-

( vaulting over the counter means komaeda will reach out to grab them despite knowing he shouldn't. keigo isn't even heavy, it's just that komaeda's too weak, so his body leans forward as he wraps his arms around the youth's waist in a hug as the other holds onto him. it's a hug on one side, but a hold to make sure they don't hurt themselves, but its a familiar action that komaeda remembers by muscle memory even if his thoughts no longer withholds all the moments that they did.

it's a tight hug though, but gentle regardless as he tries to place keigo back onto the tips of their toes. )

...My doubts? You don't have to worry about that, you eased my worries when you came back...

( it took awhile, it took such a long time, and there's this small smile that pulls at the corner of komaeda's lips. )

Is it your feelings that you remember?

[cambium]

[ It's a miracle they came back— actually, it's a miracle any of this happened in the first place, especially for them who was able to grow up without the amount of loneliness they would have otherwise had without the people and places in their dreams. Every day, wishing those dreams to be a reality, knowing that it's silly because all they really remember are the feelings. How comfortably they fit in Komaeda's arms, as if they belonged there. ]

Mmhm. I remember that we talked a lot, but I don't know about what. I was sad most of the time, I think... but comforted, too. You made it feel like things were going to be okay, that I would be okay. Those sorts of feelings.

[ Vague at best. But feelings always are, when you try to describe them. ]

[commences]

( were they always sad talking to him, he would guess so, komaeda's not always a positive person until someone else's mood plummets in his radius. )

The topics? The motives? ...We talked about a lot, and I might not be able to fill it all in!

( his thoughts are always fleeting, the past has never stuck, but there are some instances that he does remember. pieces that cause people to frown wondering why komaeda couldn't forget that instead. )

I can tell you things will be okay now... Most of the worry is gone. You came back, and I believe... that's the only worry I had the entire time.

( and because that worry is gone that means nothing else matters or should garner the other's fear. sadly, it's easy to terrify them, and he wonders if there's anything leftover that would cause them panic. it can't be seen on komaeda's face, but he is a bit concerned. )

[cambium]

[ "most" of the worry... ]

You... were worried I wouldn't come back? You know what that means, right? I had to die to get here...

[ Please do not wish for their death, Komaeda? they didn't want to die anymore, they got better, that was the parting gift Subaru gave them to save their life ]