( of course amami would talk to him, but with a lack of memory? he was better off just ignoring komaeda in general, because it's difficult for the ultimate to calm himself down since he's already red in the face. ultimates acknowledging him is always a ride, but not because he adores him, but because he's a little embarrassed they had to meet like this. komaeda's at work, and while he shouldn't ignore his job to look bad in front of amami... it gives him time to think of what to say. how are you? hello? it's been too long! can i give you anything, a dreamcatcher? a teacup? my body?
he could ask many things, but after registering that he is in fact talking to komaeda, he thinks of something more normal. )
( something softens in his expression, a little bit sheepish as his tension eases and his shoulders fall slack. there's a tilt of his head, and he lets his smile widen into a grin. )
I did. Sorry it took me so long to come around.
( it is something he feels a little bit bad about; it isn't as though ranger hadn't let him know right off the bat who he could trust and involve himself with. who he had known before, through his notes on who could and couldn't be trusted. at the same time though, it felt a bit awkward, and to go along with it, so much had happened right around the very time he had showed up... but waiting so long is a bit embarrassing too now, and amami's scratching the back of his neck at the awareness of that. )
Seemed like you might've been a bit preoccupied. Didn't want to stress you out too much.
( it's awkward to say the least, eyes lingering more than they should on the other as if he's waiting for something to change. he doesn't expect amami to just accept him readily, and he doesn't expect him to think about what stresses komaeda out or not, but he does curl his fingers into his palm before sighing. )
Ahaha... It doesn't matter, I get myself into precarious situations all the time, but I turn out fine!
( an understatement, komaeda's a wreck through and through, but... that's important to note, isn't it? )
That's why... you came back, and even though I waited... there's no need for you to stay around me at all. In this place I've done questionable things that no one wants to forgive me for, ( he doesn't want forgiveness when he promises himself that he'd do it over and over again. ) ...You were even upset with me once at the way I thought.
( he won't say what because it made him a hypocrite, but komaeda has always been that. he doesn't acknowledge it as such. )
Who is to say I won't upset you again? ...Ah, that's why I need you to know that this is your chance, if need be, to ignore the type of person I am. I will always look out for you even if you hate me, but... I don't want you to think you're beholden to meet with me, speak with me...
( he even said not to put his information in that book, but he guesses ranger never listened to him on that matter. )
( ah... that's a little deep, isn't it? there's a part of amami that feels awkward — like he's not entirely sure how to handle that. at the same time, it does put him at ease. moving through the transfer students, and even the general student body at times, it's hard to forget the sense of tension that hangs in the air. the awareness of the choices he'd made, and what he'd sacrificed that wasn't necessarily his to sacrifice. something like this, it's a bit awkward, but no more so than ranger — it carries a similar vibe, and for that, he flashes a grateful smile. )
Hate sounds like a pretty strong word.
( it's sheepish, and there's a huff of a laugh that follows. )
Can't say I'm really in a position to judge you in the first place though. Not that I can promise things being the same as they were before either, but I'm sure you don't mind if I want to figure out what kind of person you are for myself, yeah? Might be a bit early to make a call without doing at least that much.
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no subject
( of course amami would talk to him, but with a lack of memory? he was better off just ignoring komaeda in general, because it's difficult for the ultimate to calm himself down since he's already red in the face. ultimates acknowledging him is always a ride, but not because he adores him, but because he's a little embarrassed they had to meet like this. komaeda's at work, and while he shouldn't ignore his job to look bad in front of amami... it gives him time to think of what to say. how are you? hello? it's been too long! can i give you anything, a dreamcatcher? a teacup? my body?
he could ask many things, but after registering that he is in fact talking to komaeda, he thinks of something more normal. )
...You made it back safely, I'm glad.
no subject
I did. Sorry it took me so long to come around.
( it is something he feels a little bit bad about; it isn't as though ranger hadn't let him know right off the bat who he could trust and involve himself with. who he had known before, through his notes on who could and couldn't be trusted. at the same time though, it felt a bit awkward, and to go along with it, so much had happened right around the very time he had showed up... but waiting so long is a bit embarrassing too now, and amami's scratching the back of his neck at the awareness of that. )
Seemed like you might've been a bit preoccupied. Didn't want to stress you out too much.
no subject
Ahaha... It doesn't matter, I get myself into precarious situations all the time, but I turn out fine!
( an understatement, komaeda's a wreck through and through, but... that's important to note, isn't it? )
That's why... you came back, and even though I waited... there's no need for you to stay around me at all. In this place I've done questionable things that no one wants to forgive me for, ( he doesn't want forgiveness when he promises himself that he'd do it over and over again. ) ...You were even upset with me once at the way I thought.
( he won't say what because it made him a hypocrite, but komaeda has always been that. he doesn't acknowledge it as such. )
Who is to say I won't upset you again? ...Ah, that's why I need you to know that this is your chance, if need be, to ignore the type of person I am. I will always look out for you even if you hate me, but... I don't want you to think you're beholden to meet with me, speak with me...
( he even said not to put his information in that book, but he guesses ranger never listened to him on that matter. )
I don't regret the events that led you here.
no subject
Hate sounds like a pretty strong word.
( it's sheepish, and there's a huff of a laugh that follows. )
Can't say I'm really in a position to judge you in the first place though. Not that I can promise things being the same as they were before either, but I'm sure you don't mind if I want to figure out what kind of person you are for myself, yeah? Might be a bit early to make a call without doing at least that much.