Hinata Hajime (日向創) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
futurebullets) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
yogen2021-06-05 09:21 pm
futurebullets) wrote in yogen2021-06-05 09:21 pm
[semi-open] second truth bullet: hinata's memory
Who: Hajime Hinata and YOU
What: A catch-all log for Hinata throughout the month! Closed things will added by request, open things for stuff outside of event top-levels
Where: Various
When: Mostly June, at least one or two things backdated to late May
Warnings: SPOILERS for chapter 4 of Super Dangan Ronpa 2, after the Final Dead Room Discussion
Notes: Hinata will be undergoing a canon update that will have taken place on the 4th! He will be approaching things considerably more depressed and/or apathetic after this takes place, so you're welcome to tag him between the 1st and 3rd if you'd rather have normal Hinata! However, the threads that take place after the canon update are very important. It's something I've detailed more on plurk, but essentially there's something of a "game" that I have going. Hinata now has a "trust" level that's been reset to 0 - if his points are positive enough, he will be updated to either chapter 5 or the end of the game, and if his points fall too far, he will be "reverted" to one of two earlier canon points (chapter 1 or pre-game) and lose all of his Yogen memories. Close CR has more weight at first, but anyone has the power to affect him, so feel free to take a shot at raising or lowering those points!
If you have any questions or would like to plot things, feel free to reach me at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
Yamadori! (You're also welcome to write starters for me as well, just give me a heads up first!)
What: A catch-all log for Hinata throughout the month! Closed things will added by request, open things for stuff outside of event top-levels
Where: Various
When: Mostly June, at least one or two things backdated to late May
Warnings: SPOILERS for chapter 4 of Super Dangan Ronpa 2, after the Final Dead Room Discussion
Notes: Hinata will be undergoing a canon update that will have taken place on the 4th! He will be approaching things considerably more depressed and/or apathetic after this takes place, so you're welcome to tag him between the 1st and 3rd if you'd rather have normal Hinata! However, the threads that take place after the canon update are very important. It's something I've detailed more on plurk, but essentially there's something of a "game" that I have going. Hinata now has a "trust" level that's been reset to 0 - if his points are positive enough, he will be updated to either chapter 5 or the end of the game, and if his points fall too far, he will be "reverted" to one of two earlier canon points (chapter 1 or pre-game) and lose all of his Yogen memories. Close CR has more weight at first, but anyone has the power to affect him, so feel free to take a shot at raising or lowering those points!
If you have any questions or would like to plot things, feel free to reach me at
DON'T BE SORRY HE'S TRYING HIS BEST
Thank you, Amami.
[The smile falls quickly enough, something more pensive taking its place. He turns over Amami's words in his head, letting them sink in.
Even though there's some warmth in his chest, because that feels like Amami himself might be looking past talent and seeing Hinata for who he is- Part of him still wants to resist, challenge, argue.
And yet... Amami is right, isn't he?]
You... might be right, but...
[If he's right, then what does that mean for Hinata? What else does he have?]
That's meant everything to me for as long as I can remember. If I don't have that... [Komaeda's face flashes in his mind's eye, again, and Hinata wishes it wouldn't.] ...how can I be something of worth to somebody?
[How does he change what's been ingrained on his heart and mind for so long?]
pours one out for hinatakun
Like I said, talent won't guarantee that — actually, if that's what you want, I don't really know what will.
( he looks serious, but in an almost troubled kind of way. like he's really trying to think through a solution, but even as he scrunches up his brows and his lips pull into a grimace, there's just no easy way out of this one. the best he can offer might come off as more of a sidestep — but it's still something he feels should be said. )
The problem is, you're acting like you've only got worth if someone else decides you do, so you're focusing on what you think will make other people value you. If you're asking me, I think it'd be better if you found something you value. I mean, if you only focus on the idea of talent, you're not really giving yourself the chance to find something you actually care about, y'know?
( which sounds kind of lame if he thinks too hard about it. like that "you have to love yourself before someone else can love you," cliché or something, and amami's well aware. it's not really what he means, though; not like he can argue that he likes himself a whole lot either, but he certainly isn't going to say that the effort he pours in doesn't mean anything. isn't going to let other people's opinions weigh him down. so naturally, for hinata, too... )
But if you can find a reason that's important enough to you, then you might not be as worried about pleasing other people.
( it would be a start, at least. )
pours one out with u
It's hard, though. So difficult, when it's the only way he's ever known how to be, ingrained down to every bit of his character.
He can't even imagine what it would like like. A Hinata Hajime that tried to stand on his own.]
A reason... that's important enough, huh...
[Hinata's fingers curl as he breaks eye contact.]
I tried to find things I liked when I was younger, you know? I thought that might be good enough to get me into Hope's Peak, if I had something I was good at or at least passionate about. But... nothing ever stuck.
[When Hinata lifts his head again, his eyes are tired, expression. But there's something there - a flicker. A spark.]
Maybe... it would be different if I tried now. But I wouldn't even know where to begin.
we can rebuild him
( while hinata might be a little off the mark here, amami still looks pleased enough with the path this is taking. he gestures to himself absently as he continues. )
Maybe I'm not the best example, since I can't prove I really have one. If I do though, it's not something I can figure out so easily — and whether I have one or not doesn't change the fact that there's something I need to do.
( it's the idea of having one that he shouldn't — couldn't be proud of, when he meets his sisters again that scares him far more than that. and, you know, that's what he's getting at; something more important than talent, something totally removed from talent — really, something far more intrinsically linked with his failures and shortcomings. it's hard to express all that simply though, and harder without going into his own reasons, so he exhales and... skips that part. something for hinata to figure out for himself, maybe. )
It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but maybe if you give it some thought you'll find it — something that you need to do no matter what.