Hinata Hajime (日向創) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
futurebullets) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
yogen2021-06-05 09:21 pm
futurebullets) wrote in yogen2021-06-05 09:21 pm
[semi-open] second truth bullet: hinata's memory
Who: Hajime Hinata and YOU
What: A catch-all log for Hinata throughout the month! Closed things will added by request, open things for stuff outside of event top-levels
Where: Various
When: Mostly June, at least one or two things backdated to late May
Warnings: SPOILERS for chapter 4 of Super Dangan Ronpa 2, after the Final Dead Room Discussion
Notes: Hinata will be undergoing a canon update that will have taken place on the 4th! He will be approaching things considerably more depressed and/or apathetic after this takes place, so you're welcome to tag him between the 1st and 3rd if you'd rather have normal Hinata! However, the threads that take place after the canon update are very important. It's something I've detailed more on plurk, but essentially there's something of a "game" that I have going. Hinata now has a "trust" level that's been reset to 0 - if his points are positive enough, he will be updated to either chapter 5 or the end of the game, and if his points fall too far, he will be "reverted" to one of two earlier canon points (chapter 1 or pre-game) and lose all of his Yogen memories. Close CR has more weight at first, but anyone has the power to affect him, so feel free to take a shot at raising or lowering those points!
If you have any questions or would like to plot things, feel free to reach me at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
Yamadori! (You're also welcome to write starters for me as well, just give me a heads up first!)
What: A catch-all log for Hinata throughout the month! Closed things will added by request, open things for stuff outside of event top-levels
Where: Various
When: Mostly June, at least one or two things backdated to late May
Warnings: SPOILERS for chapter 4 of Super Dangan Ronpa 2, after the Final Dead Room Discussion
Notes: Hinata will be undergoing a canon update that will have taken place on the 4th! He will be approaching things considerably more depressed and/or apathetic after this takes place, so you're welcome to tag him between the 1st and 3rd if you'd rather have normal Hinata! However, the threads that take place after the canon update are very important. It's something I've detailed more on plurk, but essentially there's something of a "game" that I have going. Hinata now has a "trust" level that's been reset to 0 - if his points are positive enough, he will be updated to either chapter 5 or the end of the game, and if his points fall too far, he will be "reverted" to one of two earlier canon points (chapter 1 or pre-game) and lose all of his Yogen memories. Close CR has more weight at first, but anyone has the power to affect him, so feel free to take a shot at raising or lowering those points!
If you have any questions or would like to plot things, feel free to reach me at
i hate myself for this one
[ It bubbles out of him before he wills it -- not with anger, but with protest and maybe panic, somewhere in the back of his mind. The slam of the desk when Hinata strikes it makes him jump, but it doesn't deter him; it isn't enough to silence him, only to give him a moment to process the torrent of thoughts in his mind. It's a visible pause, though... but that isn't the point. If Hinata's going to get emotional to the level where it bursts out, Saihara knows, it's up to him to stay calm and composed.
But in the end, he fails that too. ]
Maybe if you hadn't been here, he would have done worse. Or maybe if none of us were here, he'd have done nothing at all.
[ ... ]
...If you're going to blame yourself about it, then how do you think *I* feel?
[ As much as he wishes he were, he's not just a messenger in this.
Hinata's read the write-up, hasn't he? Or did his eyes just glaze over at the last parts? From the message in the murder... it's almost like it was committed for Saihara himself, as some twisted sort of "service" to him -- no, not even to him as a person, but to his talent -- from the killer's part. That's what Komaeda thought when he did it; and yes, there's no telling he wouldn't have done it in general for the other Ultimates too, but that's just a what-if. An uncertainty that he'll have to live with. There's a part of his mind, somewhere out there, that knows they shouldn't be arguing about this, and yet...
How does Hinata think he feels, when maybe Okane Aiko's life would have never been lost at all if Saihara Shuichi didn't exist? ]
i'm still in pain
[Hinata's hand drops away from the desk. He might still feel hurt and betrayed and sick - but something in him still cries out to protest that.
He hadn't thought about the end of the statement until this moment - that Saihara might blame himself because of it. Something that he'd ordinarily be more sensitive to, but his mind is so clouded by all of it that it's hard to think straight.
Maybe he can offer this one thing, though.]
Even if Komaeda still cared about me, it wouldn't have changed. Even if you were the only one he cared about... it wouldn't change. Because "hope" is what he cares about above all else. [When he says the word, his voice is bitter.] If that's what he wanted out of this murder, he would never have stopped for anyone else's sake. He would make it happen, no matter the cost.
[Just like with Togami and Hanamura.]
I knew that about him from the beginning, better than anyone. And yet, I still wasn't careful enough.
[Is that as bad as killing her himself? Hinata can't even muster the strength to think about it.]