(closed) the rat died.

[commences]

Who: Nagito Komaeda & anyone who hits me up
What: August catch-all
When: 08/01 onwards
Where: Various locations
Warnings: TBA

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how do you know me better than i know myself?
hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey.

This post is a place for all of Komaeda's closed threads, starters, and miscellany through the month. If you want to set something up, I can be reached by PM or at sakasaki

Comments

[commences]

( he's unable to determine how he should feel with the other speaking to him, about him to the point that tears appear out the corner of his eyes. how many times will komaeda make him cry, and then he's curious, did hinata shed the same tears about losing him when he actually killed himself? did he even care, did they even care... truthfully, the end all of everyone being there waiting for him weighs heavier than however they felt when he died, but if he could add up the amount of times hinata has cried for him. would it do something? )

Stop that—-

( he starts, he wants to move his organic hand, but the other's hold onto it feels like an iron grip, so he keeps it in place. instead, he lifts the mechanical one, a soft whirr alongside their voices as he brings it to hinata's cheek, cupping it for a moment, and his thumb feels no warmth, no anything, and so he uses his eyes to wipe away any tear that roams down his face. )

Don't give up on them.

( he doesn't want him to lose that part of himself, those people that relied on him more than they ever did him at that point. there's no need to give up on others that he doesn't know nor does he understand, and that part of hinata shouldn't be lost due to his... lack of memories. it doesn't matter how much he thinks of komaeda's calm, or his smiles, it almost feels like he's being mocked because in the end — why did he forget everyone else, and why did the youth only remember him.

he can be self-centered, but isn't that far too much? that's too much, everything, to admit that he is someone who can be envied... someone that can even be on a person's mind. he shouldn't be surprised, even when hinata hated him, he still cared. he still had feelings that makes komaeda scratch and sneeze, and now that bleed out, or is he thinking too hard.

... this isn't about him. )

As long as you remember them, you can carry on their hope... even if you're the one who put us out of our misery.

[futurebullets]

[Once, when Komaeda had done this, it had made Hinata cry harder.

Now it makes him shut his eyes and press his cheek into that metal palm. A few rapidly squeeze out from behind his closed eyes at first, but then they slow, nearly crawl to a stop. His entire body relaxes.

He stays like that, quiet, for a long moment. After a time, he opens his eyes again, fingers brushing against the metal ones holding him.]

I didn't kill you guys. I would never. I'd rather die first. [His fingers move to the back of Komaeda's hand, holding it there. It's cold, and it frightens him that his regular hand is gone. But it's Komaeda's, and that's enough.] Will you tell me what actually happened to you? What happened to your hand?

[It's a reassurance, now that he remembers it. Monokuma had to have been lying if Komaeda survived long enough for... whatever caused this.]

[commences]

( he can't feel it — the touches, the tears, the warmth of anything when it comes to that hand — just memories, both good and bad, insufferable and enough to make smile... it goes two ways, just like the colors that make it white and black. komaeda closes his eyes, breathing in slow as he watches the other pressed against it, and if this was his normal hand... it'd flinch from the warmth, and yet it does nothing at all. )

Hinata-kun, your death would serve no purpose... thinking about living and seeing what the... ( a singular word comes to mind, one that appeared more than once in their simulation life ) future has in store is more fitting for you. ...What Monokuma said, I've never been executed, so he lied to you.

( as komaeda watches the male's fingers brush against his own hand, the thought simulates the nerves, and his index finger quickly twitches. there's a lot he could say about this arm — that he was consumed by despair, that he fell in love, there's multiple answers he could give on the history behind it. )

This? ( his mechanical arm opens, the palm of it visible, and the thumb sweeps against a few of hinata's fingers. the act of sawing off his arm, lucky enough to make a clean cut without jagged edges, grateful to mikan for helping with his procedure. ) ...What do you think of the craft? ( did he avoid purposefully, or does he think hinata dislikes it in general? something he, himself, gave to komaeda with the help of tj — souda. ) It's nicely made... isn't it...