yogen | MISSION 2.C

[ His eyes are open but unfocused, light brown rimmed red that don't even bother looking towards the sound of each voice that addresses him. But he opens his mouth as if in response, answer not given voice because what escapes is a groan of pain, breath shaking each time he forces his lungs to work.

...

... ]

...cold...

( in a state like this, their "survivor"'s barely hanging on, just like everything else here... so fragile to the touch that it just cracks and splatters red. komaeda watches the way his jacket soaks up the liquid, the green becoming a dark brown from the blotches, and if only that coat could see other use than this. he'll glance at where this younger version of someone familiar looks, notices how they see no one, but given the fact that they're brown and not yellow must be a good thing. he can keep some of his humanity. even as they speak, he doesn't look towards helena, hinata or natsume... everyone's in their own world, having their own concerns... )

...

( he doesn't say anything, all he's able to offer is his hand that's covered in red, and his body is already too cold to suffice as a heat source. he's younger than what komaeda knew him from, and he doesn't look back to remember that there's a cliff behind them. the supposed theory is that he fell off playing, and that the wolves ate him... there's no way that they're playing the wolves, right?

he's been through this once, like it's to prepare him for something he can't help, and his whole life has been instances like this that... watching someone die, it's common. turning his back on them to when there's nothing that can be done, and here is... where the other has to help themselves. he's aware of what he has at home, and if his will wins out for his survival, than good for him, but that's not how the story goes from what npc-kun had told him. an unhappy ending, who knows when a three year old will make their way out, he doubts they'll be found, but he also recalls that too. )

You're cold?

( he repeats it, giving it a moment, and they don't have to hear him at all. ) In September, I'll... give you something warm. ( rather than speaking to him, he only speaks at him, and he even decides to slowly dislodge his organic hand from the other's own. ) I can promise that, at least.

[ It's hard to listen, to think, when all the blood is draining from your body and the chill is so bitter you can't even feel it. What he can feel, though, is somebody letting go... letting him go, as if giving up on him, and the boy...

...

tries to sit up, but has no strength to do so, instead he tries to push Helena's hands away to roll over onto his side, not caring how pathetic it must look to have to be on all fours just to get himself to his feet, he has to get to his feet, he has to get up. Get up.

...

His body refuses to listen, all his will urging him up but he remains collapsed on the ground, breathing hard.

...

He looks up at Hinata, finally, gaze sliding over to the shock of red hair that is Natsume, to Helena who had tried so hard to hold him together when he couldn't do it himself, to the boy that lifted him up, took him by the hand...

... ]

...me... help me... I can't...

[there's so little they can do. even if they held him to themselves, it might not warm him like he needs, not like the warmth of life going through his veins. there is so little, but even like this, there is one more thing. one more thing Helena can do. his blood on her hands, but she shifts into a crouch, and takes his hand.]

We've got you.

[and into his other hand is pressed her cane. it's sturdy, it's solid. she can lend it for a little while. it may at least offer him what reliability it has, for the last moments, so he might feel stronger as he goes.

up they can get, careful as can be. there's something to lean on both ways. not giving up on him just yet, they can't. not until the very last breath is taken.]

...

( why did he do that? komaeda ponders the thought as his hand now settles into his lap, the only working one. the other remains limp at his side as he notices the youth look at each and every one of them — how he blinks slow at the visible contact, but he matches the stare until helena takes part in helping him.

the cane plays a healthy foundation, one that he's surprised that helena let go of. she's been so fond of it, attached from what komaeda has seen, that seeing her hand it off to help another person... it must heal her soul compared to what the death of all those animals have given her. )

...

( helpful and attentive he finds the people in this group, only two of them are aware of who this is, and yet those who lack memories, and never made any are quick to assist. komaeda hums in thought, his lips parting to speak, and he watches the other to see how he responds. )

...That's pretty admirable, forcing yourself not to keel over and die a hopeless death. ( of course it doesn't sound nice, komaeda doesn't have the kindest response when speaking to someone pale as a sheet, bleeding through his jacket from one color to the next. )

But you've always been stubborn, messy... and desperate, haven't you...

( sugar and spice with everything nice. if this is how the other wants to go about it, then komaeda will watch, sometimes hope is seeing how far another person will go. even if his hand is far away, at least it did something to keep the other moving, and now there are others to assist as well. maybe the other won't feel so alone this time. )

( ...there's something he can do.

only: he doesn't know if he can do it. magic does not come reliably to him, even after practicing, because it isn't something he isn't actually used to being able to do. yumenosaki academy is in an ordinary world full of ordinary people, with ordinary lives and ordinary laws of nature. it doesn't have magic, it doesn't have people with the ability to conjure the stars in their hands, it doesn't have anything that could keep anyone alive for just a little longer without being extremely expensive.

he remembers a magic circle clamor once showed him on the pda, one he had copied into his own notebook, the moon proudly the centerpiece of it. the moon, clamor said, was known for its healing properties. should the spirits of the moon be kind enough, they'd make a field of healing energy using the circle... could they even rely on spirits here?

well.

he's a king of overthinking, but there's no time to overthink here, so he takes a step closer to helena and her new charge, hands clenched. how does he even go about this...? theory is so much easier to discuss than using it when it's needed. )

...We'll do our BEST.

( even though murder would probably be a mercy at this point, the person in front of them isn't trying to kill them nor has he done anything against him... morally speaking, it wouldn't be right, not that he's ever really had a problem with either moral or ethics. natsume slowly unclenches his hands and turns one over by his side, palm side out.

he's so fucking cold. but clamor didn't teach him how to summon pretty little lights that can help your friends and allies for no reason, so he moves his fingers like he's coaxing someone over, and a few little lights shiver into existence. they are extremely pitiful looking, small and dim and not very star-like, and chances are they'll fizzle out, but he is willing to make that bet.

if nothing else, just a little bit of healing to help the young boy in front of him. just that. just that. nothing big, and he snaps his fingers to send them at their newest, bloodiest member. )

Please help HIM, ( he murmurs softly, like that's going to help convince whatever spirits of the stars that might be lurking around. ) Just a little BIT.

[ His hand shifts in Helena's, the other barely holding onto the cane but even if he can't find the strength to hold on tight, he can at least keep his fingers curled as not to drop it completely. The pain as he's helped onto his feet is excruciating, the muscles that are supposed to keep his trunk upright torn to ribbons so that he's leaning heavily on Helena with the cane limp by his side. Blood runs down his side, warming all it touches but leaving his heart feeling heavy and empty. Sharp stabs of pain, raw gnawing pain, he feels like his body is on fire and encased in ice at the same time, stealing awareness back from the cold but it's hard to say whether feeling and being is any better than numbness to it all.

The lights, regardless of their healing, is what makes him lift his head. Gentle lights, not meant for guiding or for lighting but he takes comfort in the fact that his death won't be in solitude and in darkness. He has to turn his hips to move his knees to move his feet, but after that it's one foot in front of the other, slow step by step further downstream. The effort is only killing him faster. He has to be dragged more than he's capable of walking on his own. But that hardly matters. Komaeda is right: he has always been stubborn, messy, desperate... Focused on one thing, everything else be damned, and right now, there's somewhere he needs to be.

Off in the distance, the river dips under the horizon. Water flows over rocks, hissing river turned tranquil creek, gentle down and down until it feeds into a lake, past a little cabin in a clearing in the woods, then out of sight through the trees. ]

[Hinata's been hovering nearby as the boy walks, not quite helping as much as Helena but staying nearby for assistance when he needs it and mulling over how Komaeda's words seemed harsher than they should've been... perhaps because he really does know him after all. But he pulls away at the sight of what lies in the clearing.]

Hey, that's... that's a house down there! [He's cold and exhausted, remnants of shattering bone wracking his body with pain, but energy floods him at the sight.] Stay with him, I'm going up ahead! There might be somebody inside that can help!

[Carefully, yet as fast as he can, Hinata picks his way down towards the house. If he passes all his saving throws and doesn't die tragically, he'll try to run over to the cabin and knock on the door, yelling to ask if anyone's inside.]

[carefully, step by step, since right now the boy needs the potential stability more than she needs all of her perception. the water will keep her oriented in the right direction, the one that Hinata's footsteps echo away down. they may be doing the utterly wrong thing, and she expects the boy to drop at any moment. but they're carrying on, and Helena's other hand is free if someone needs to hold it to stay grouped up.]

Just tell us if you need to rest.

[the words are more meant to reassure him with an attentive presence as opposed to needing to be answered. the stubbornness will at least get them part of the way. however cold and tired the group is, however much they might ache, it's nothing compared to the agonies that this stranger must feel. but he's trying. he's still got one last thing to do, even in this state. they owe it, then, to keep moving.]

( two hours of sleep did what for me. harsh words can be motivating, and komaeda talks this way because he knows him enough. then again, who is he to place a narrative where he's involved on anyone, and he thinks about it. )

...

( he doesn't know what natsume did, but it's doing something to help him further his want to live. he can't do much for the other, now can he, it seems every time they come into contact komaeda has caused him immediate pain. it makes him hang back, distance between him and the group as he hears hinata say he'll go up first, and everyone remains here.

komaeda places his working hand against his stomach, sighing as he looks towards natsume first and walks up, his voice low so no one else can hear. )

...Thank you, Sakasaki-kun.

( they're probably delaying the inevitable, but rokkun is so many different kinds of stupid that it keeps him moving. each and every person will recieve the same piece, he'll save majority for later, but who is he kidding, helena probably hears him anyway. let the words he needs to say get adjusted on on his lips first, one at a time. there's all sorts of hope, especially the one that helps a person move forward, that's why it's best to be together, remain in a group.

he's like a little flame, for however long, his will hasn't burnt out yet, and that's good. he glances towards the jacket wrapped around him, and he takes a few steps closer — if he's going through this, it shouldn't hurt being a little closer to him, does it?

komaeda picks his memory, thinking he should ask. )

There should be someone waiting, right?

( well, he isn't sure that it helped, but it at least seems to have perked someone's spirits up, and it's exciting to make the stars dance in the palm of his hands. they don't come quickly when he calls to them, but he keeps summoning them, forming constellations from home from his memory. cancer, aquarius, leo...

he gives a side-glance to komaeda, lips pursed—a little conflicted at the gratitude, but he shrugs and looks back ahead. his voice is just as soft, though helena might be able to hear anyway, little bat she is. )

It isn't like I did it for YOU, Komaeda-san. I'm a kind person; I'm not going to sit around and let someone die if I can do something about IT.

( ...and then he'll focus on his magic again, thinking about how practice makes perfect, how it's okay if it doesn't come naturally. the small, miniature stars will keep them company if nothing else, surrounding them and flickering in and out of existence as they walk towards hinata's voice, the cabin, with rokuro's unsteady steps to guide them. )

( ... )

Ah... don't be so hard on yourself, Sakasaki-kun. You're capable of accepting things even if you don't deserve it, Kudo-san taught me that.

( remember her? the person you killed along with a few no named others and sena? so it's rich if it's about something he can handle, especially after all that he's done. komaeda won't bring it up though, smiling a little cheekily as his mood goes through one emotion, to the other.

as for everything else, he'll leave natsume alone, allow him to concentrate. he wonders if there's something wrong with thanking peoppe, sometimes you have to when certain actions does something to another's hope. this is something he likes to see!!

in the end, he has always liked rokkun's hope. )

[ "I'll rest when I'm dead," the boy does not say, maybe doesn't have the energy to say, maybe seems to be getting heavier and heavier with each step he takes.

But soon, that little cabin is within sight, almost within reach. Hinata reaches the door first, knocks on the door rewarded with the faint pitter patter of bare feet running to unlock the door.

"-—aki!"

The door swings open, and there stands a young child, no older than three, freezing on the spot and staring up at Hinata with wide, frightened eyes.

...

The door gets shut in his face. ]

( Ah, so there is someone there. That's good. The rest of the group will join Hinata soon enough, though give the boy's getting heavier Helena and Komaeda might be just a tiny bit slower... Natsume'll reach first, peering at Hinata's face with a sigh as if that's what's scared some poor kid and not the fact it was a stranger, and knocks again on the door.

He's capable of kindness when he wants to be, and he's historically good with kids; his voice is soft, stars dimly popping in and out around him as his concentration doesn't quite stick to them but moves to talking to the child just past the door. )

We're sorry for scaring YOU. You're expecting someone, RIGHT? We might've found THEM. ( His voice is gentle and coaxing, and he glances over his shoulder once before he continues. ) If it makes you feel betTER, we can talk like this inSTEAD, until your mommy or daddy can come to the DOOR, or you feel like you can trust US.

[ There's the fumbling of somebody trying to lock a sliding barrel bolt on the other side of the door but they're too short and has to jump to try and knock the lock in place.

"Daddy says don't talk to strangers!" they say, to a stranger. ]

( yeah, helena and komaeda will be slower considering the other's pace, but that doesn't matter because every step counts for something. )

Come now, we're almost there.

( as if rokkun needs komaeda saying that, but he has a cane, and he has helena's hand guiding his forward. perhaps it'll be enough, because a certain someone has to be waiting for him — with how fast they closed that door? they'd probably be grateful for a familiar face than whatever these randos have going on.

he'd call out to the other, but he hasn't spoken much, and komaeda doesn't even know if he has any right to say his name. with a sigh, he'll continue moving forward with them, and if there's any gaps, he slows down himself. )

You have someone to be there for. ( "he wouldn't be here for me." is what npc-kun said at one point, and if that's not the case then, at least now... in this place, maybe it can be a little different. if not... ) That sort of hope pulls, but as long as you have that... it's okay, don't give up. ( he holds out his hand out of habit, because it's rokkun, but then he remembers that he's holding onto enough. ) I know you aren't the type... so don't fail me.

( "how can you say that to a kid" komaeda says it to older rokkun, it's fine. )

( Of course he does... That's what good daddies tell their kids. Natsume smiles slightly, ignoring the cold biting at him and what's going on behind him. )

We won't be strangers if we introduce ourselves, will WE? My name is ( should he tell them his name? ...it should be fine, if it isn't his full ) Natsume; what's YOURS?

[ ...

There's no answer from behind the door, because good kids listen to their daddies. They can, however, hear the sound of a chair being painstakingly shoved across hardwood floor, because if they can't secure the lock then they can barricade the door like how they do it in the movies, maybe use it as a stepstool to reach the lock. Genius. No strangers are going to get inside this house, no sir.

...

There's no answer from the boy being supported by Helena and Komaeda either, not until they're down the slope and almost at the door, close enough to feel the warmth given off by the roaring fire that must be inside, large pot of soup bubbling away on the stove waiting to be dished out once everybody is home, the embrace of somebody he needs to be there for, somebody he promised he would always be there for. ]

...Kogamo... I'm home.

[ The dragging stops, replaced by the pitter patter of somebody running to the door. It never was locked. ]

[he seems heavier, if she's to guess, but it might be simply exhaustion causing him to lean more. but Helena is as stubborn as she needs to be, and if she has to, she'll put his arm around her shoulders, to offer him that more support. she doesn't mind being bloody, just as long as they make it. so close, and this cabin may be sanctuary, may be the end of it all.

little footsteps. something in her stomach drops. those are small footsteps that she can hear, and whoever's on the other side of the door will be treated to quite the sight.

Kogamo. whoever they are, they would be within their rights to be so afraid of them. to blame them for this. maybe it is all their fault.]

We made it...

[but at what cost?]

( ?

immediate thought, when the door opens for them, and the three year old comes out... if komaeda looks pretty hard, will he see any resemblance like he did with how familiar the "dead body" was to him. as for "kogamo", he isn't familiar with the name, but with the whole "names have powers," he wouldn't be surprised if there was a lie in their conversation from before.

as for fake names, looks at the back of the boy's head that they saved... )

...

( haha sucker he still got your name.

but natsume'll move to make room so kogamo can see who they've been waiting for, nudging hinata with him so they're not in the kid's direct line of sight. it's probably better that way, whatever condition the boy's in or otherwise. )

[ Do three year olds look anything like who they grow up to be? Maybe Komaeda can extrapolate from the soft mochi cheeks, or the bright, open mouthed smile the child has on their face when the door is pulled open— a smile that twists and falls immediately, face scrunching as they start to cry, half hidden behind the door and leaving the boy to come forward himself, pressing the cane back to Helena, his touch lingering on her hand for a moment before he lets himself sink to his knees.

The three-year-old throws themselves forward and latches onto the boy's torso as if to hold him together, screaming and crying in the same breath.

...The four of them get to stand there awkwardly in the snow, I guess. ]

...

( okay, normally this would be hard to digest, but since one person is hanging on as they know it, and someone else is crying... he's able to stand and watch. he looks at helena first to see if he could ask her what's on his mind, but then he opts out for natsume, but he's in some chanting montage, so he looks at hinata...

...

nah, he'll just say it. )

So... we should get going now, unless you're inviting us to dinner.

( he may have ruined the mood, but they're all covered in blood and cold. it doesn't get any worse than this. he's going to take a step closer, thinking about reaching out for his jacket to take back, but instead... he'll lightly nudge their traveling companion. )

Also... he said he was cold, and I trust you can handle that, Kogamo-kun.

[ At that slightest nudge, their traveling companion falls over in the snow, crushing the bewildered Kogamo-kun that struggles to pull themselves out from under him, slick with as much blood as when they first arrived in this world.

...

They're three. Please don't expect them to handle anything. ]

[oh god please let time and mental defense mechanisms wipe this small child's mind before they grow up too haunted by today

cane back to her, she's able to take in the full spectrum of what's around, what's happening, and she gasps when the stranger falls - the sound telling her more what happened. no time to even scold Nagito for what he did, just enough to drop to her knees again and try to help extract Kogamo from under their dying brother.

somehow, it almost might have been kinder to let him perish away from this - at least the child would have been spared.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject