ethics...club...

[comprises]

Who: the ethics club and whoever wants to crash their party
When: whenever in august!
What: just a mingle post for the disasters
Warnings: uhhh...........well there's a bunch of problematic people here probably, so we'll see how this goes. will update.

The "ethics" club isn't really that well furnished so far. So far, there's only a few things -- things that only Josh is able to access, as well as a dart board, a cheap (and faulty) polygraph machine, and a button maker?

Well, the other members will have to make those. But he does have a certain design for it, if someone was interested in ""helping"" him make the pins...

Otherwise, Joshua's probably usually in here, in classroom 2-D, and he won't turn anyone away. He might warn of anyone coming in of their eccentric group, but he doesn't really mind either way.

But there are papers spread around, not that he really wants to do the work of ensuring that his club stays open, but he figures there's no use in just ignoring it. So there's probably going to be some reports to go through on the papers, or something that could be defined as work.

Loosely.

There's a folder on the desk he'd moved next to the door which holds the topic of the month on it for whoever comes into the room:

good and evil: how do you spot the difference? Do those lines truly exist?

He's very interested in what people would say about it.

Comments

[commences]

( that's why komaeda believes so much in add's flawless work, why he's willing to try and understand what it is that shapes him the way that he does. he allows him to speak though, and the smile on his face doesn't waver at all, and with a shake of his head — he knows add will do whatever he can to separate himself from hope. )

Resolve is the same as hope, why wouldn't it be? To keep going, to face the dangers before you not knowing what could come from your actions... the fact that you know what you're doing unlike some who don't... As long as you have resolve, you're above becoming blindsided... you know what it is that you want, and like I said... you're admirable on that front.

( "you're... wasting your time with me. i don't have what you're looking for, so..." sounds so sad, yet, komaeda watching as add's shoulder slump, the way his gaze looks towards the door, and the ultimate moves, blocking his path like the annoying little insect that he is. )

...Courage comes from understanding a person, which opens a path to the foundation of their hope. You don't talk a lot about yourself, Add-kun, and I can understand why... admitting yourself is like a weakness here, but...

( he hums in thought, and he rubs his chin. should he have not said what he did? or does komaeda not care as long as his words get out there — it may have been a hard truth, but he doesn't mean anything by it. )

When I spoke to you that day, I said... you were testing your own hope, everyone has different ones... some are the people here, and others is the goals that they make for themselves, but for you... it' what drives you... and that drive you apply to yourself much better than others... it's why I can't turn myself away from you, to have a hope like that... I'm interested in where it'll take you, because this path is one you've paved for yourself, but I'll anything to see it through! Ahaha, so don't give up on yourself... that's what resolve is all about, right? That sort of hope... as long as you stand before me, I know it's always there.

[subtract]

It's not the same.

[firmly, with the faintest hint of anger, frustration... it's not the same. not to him.

Komaeda blocks his path so instead he tears his eyes away, glaring now at the floor like it's personally offended him. he acts like he knows, but he doesn't. he's not understanding anything Add is trying to say. why does he think everyone has to fit into his childish perception of "hope"?]

Tell me, Nagito. What is hope for? Why do people have it? Why do they bother?

[but whatever Komaeda thinks, it doesn't matter—Add already has an answer of his own, and despite it being posed as a question, he's just going to go ahead and give that answer himself. he looks up from the floor, meeting the other's eyes once more but now with both eyes flooded black.]

Hope is to want for something, to believe in something... kekek, but that something that can only exist in the future. So a devil that exists outside of time can never have your hope, no matter how hard he tries. All I can do is ensure my own destruction is complete.

Resolve to erase the mistake that created my existence. If you still consider that "hope", well, we can agree to disagree.

[commences]

( it's when add says his name that sets everything apart from what he knows, and that the other must be getting irritated with the conversation — he only calls komaeda by his first when he's fed up. for once, he pauses while add talks, allowing him to finish from start to finish — to hear him talk of it as a "want," and not a "need," to listen to the way how hope affects the future. he's not wrong, but that doesn't mean he's right. this is how he frames it, but he doesn't understand there's more to it.

komaeda's eyes sharpen, he's more observant as he watches the other, the change in his eyes, the confidence he holds when saying everything. and then... )

Do people live for hope, Grenore-kun?

( has komaeda gave off that impression of living when it comes to hope, he doesn't even have hope... his talent is mediocre, and he's practically trash that's blown here and there by the breeze before him. his own life matters not, because hope can go on without him, he's only helping those who seem to have walked off course — those who need a push in the right direction, or can't jump over the hurdle properly without take ten steps back, and eleven steps forward to remind themselves to jump. )

Hope is absolute good... it's worth more than anything else. An all-powerful source that's meant to be worshiped and adored. It's capable of consuming what's inferior and leave no trace, because its power is unparalleled.... All actions are pure and guiltless if they are in the name of hope. Without it there is nothing worth living for. ( he sighs, wheezing every so often as he tries to catch his breath — but his voice is low as he tries to keep this straight to the point. ) People have it because hope is as infectious as despair wishes it could be. Even when it seems like hope is lost, it'll always return and prevail... they have it because hope is what rules the world, and even should one wish for it to not exist, ( he pauses, allowing the obvious to sink in as he watches add with a trained look, noting the rhythm of his breathing, the moment he'll blink, ) it will always be present.

( hope is such a sensitive thing to komaeda, and he understands that this is add's way in rejecting it time and time again, whether he's afraid of it, or because of his need to kill every piece of himself so that he's the only one left, so that he can successfully kill himself, there's hope to be found in that as well. it's him going through hell and back, it's him who has to face the consequences when it comes to killing those versions of himself — if he didn't want memories of himself to last, why does he make friends with those here, humor them? it'll be lasting, he's doing the opposite. )

Why do they bother? Ahaha... hope is something that permeates the mind. Even should one think that there's none, it is always there, always present, and always able to offer its light and strength! ...And for those that embrace it, it gives them the strength to overcome the bleakest despair, isn't that hope that you have... trying to kill every version of yourself, if you didn't believe you were capable... you wouldn't do it... but I won't praise it as a hopeless suicide, because even along the way... you've made bonds with those that help them, and yourself... if you want to protect the world from yourself, protect yourself from what the world offers... I won't frown on that hope, I'll continue seeing it as one if you won't... you'll learn one day.

[subtract]

[and even should one wish for it to not exist...

his grip on himself tightens sharply with each word, the subtle sound of hairline cracks forming beneath his clothes. he looks away again—he's heard enough. he shuts it out like he always does, the words that bite and claw at walls he's built around his heart.]

Absolute good, absolute power... tch, do you want to know what hope really is? It's just another lie humans use to trick themselves. You have one moment of good fortune, so you fool yourself into believing it means something, that the losses in your life are only trials to overcome...

Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. That's all you are. A pathetic, stupid, miserably weak little man, incapable of doing anything worthwhile with your pitifully short time in this reality. Why do you even bother to wake up in the morning?

This conversation was a waste of my time. Don't bother me about it again. [don't speak to me again is almost what leaves his mouth next, but instead he hisses a sharp sigh and shoves his way past Komaeda

he's leaving, now, whether Komaeda wants to stand in his way or not. and he will resist if the other tries to stop him, a perceptible emotion that makes him arms shake, rage and hatred and something more terrifying than both that shivers under his fragile surface]

[commences]

( one moment of good fortunate, no... komaeda has been susceptible to good and bad all his life, and to think it's all that simple — it's true, that's because he's lucky, but he doesn't outline that with hope at all. hope is more powerful that than, it creates a path for someone to obtain at the end, to be able to embrace the truth, but as add speaks... he makes it all sound so hopeless, and maybe he is. it causes a rift between them, and yet he can't leave things on a note so sensitive.

he thinks about it, and add doesn't have to tell komaeda what he already knows — he's pathetic, he's stupid, he is a miserably weak little man that's incapable of doing anything worthwhile with his pitifully short time in this reality, and in the one before. he's dying. his thoughts are decaying, and even his body weakens as time goes on — he's trapped in a never-ending suffering thanks to his hope, and if he could admit to himself that he would want to die to be freed from both his talent and hope, he would. but that's not the true him, the real him would never think that way, the young boy within the simulation who forsake hope for the happiness of others doesn't exist, and the komaeda that exists now will do everything in his power to find add's hope, make him understand, make it tangible so the other can put his hands on it.

he doesn't move, instead allowing the other to take his last and final steps, to allow the other to walk past him, but that doesn't stop komaeda from catching a piece of the male's sleeve, who knows if he catches add shaking or not, but he d. a wrong move, and komaeda doesn't mind if something bad comes from it, because there'll be a fortunate outcome for him, or perhaps add if he wills it. )

Is it that hopeless you see nothing from it... even after all that you do for others in helping their hope, do you wish to remain on the opposite side of everything they are? ( is he sad for add? does he pity him? or does it feel so familiar that he toys around with the idea, walking close to the other to use his mechanical hand (because he knows that add has a preference to the non human), and he places it over the male's eyes to block his vision so that he's enclosed in darkness. )

How long has it been since you've allowed the light to lead your path... ( a sigh ) how long has the darkness wrapped around you?

cw: this some ptsd shit right here yeah

[subtract]

[he pulls against the hand on his sleeve, shoulders tensing, refusing to turn and face the other as he stands taut against Komaeda's grip. he almost seems to humour the attempt, though, some small part of him perhaps not ready to let go, to storm from the room and remove this incident from his memory...

but then the other hand reaches out from behind and tries to touch his face. that part, definitely, was a mistake.]

Don't touch me. [low and guttural, swatting away the touch as he ducks away to dodge it, fear, panic, his other hand gripping for the choker around his neck] Don't touch me, keep your filthy hands away, don't touch me—

[whatever lingering doubts he might've held are already long, long gone, and he tears himself away once more—even if he literally has to tear his sleeve to pull free, even if Komaeda reaches for his arm and grasps at the glass-like fragments that shatter into dust in his hands, Add would rather suffer those consequences than stay in this room for even a second longer, than let Komaeda get to him, than let him see his fear and his weakness and his shame

he bolts from the room, and he doesn't even bother to spitefully slam the door behind him

...

(whenever Komaeda finds him next... it's convenient, how no matter how long he spends in the void, time never passes and he'll always be alone. so it's like nothing ever happened. like it's been years since they last spoke and the memory is long gone, buried just like everything else...)]