Noah Ebalon (𝕷𝖎𝖇𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silentabyss) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
yogen2021-09-01 10:11 am
silentabyss) wrote in yogen2021-09-01 10:11 am
The price that I pay to survive seems so high
WHO: Noah & You!
WHAT: September Catch-all
WHERE: Around :)
WHEN: Month of September
WARNINGS: Self-harm, suicide attempts, PTSD, general angst, literally none of the threads in here are going to be happy folks I don't know what to say
Unfortunately, they've been separated.
All prompts listed are OPEN unless stated otherwise and trigger-tagged appropriately in the headers. This is literally the saddest shit I've ever written y'all. I cannot be sued for emotional damages.
Feel free to wildcard on this log too, with the caveat being that the thread must be sad, because this is the sad log for sadness.
WHAT: September Catch-all
WHERE: Around :)
WHEN: Month of September
WARNINGS: Self-harm, suicide attempts, PTSD, general angst, literally none of the threads in here are going to be happy folks I don't know what to say
Unfortunately, they've been separated.
All prompts listed are OPEN unless stated otherwise and trigger-tagged appropriately in the headers. This is literally the saddest shit I've ever written y'all. I cannot be sued for emotional damages.
Feel free to wildcard on this log too, with the caveat being that the thread must be sad, because this is the sad log for sadness.
no subject
[However pathetically, his voice cracks on that last note; as if on instinct, he lashes out with magic, though he's not aiming to kill or maim — the whip of shadow strikes the wall near Komaeda's head. It's something Noah might feel bad about in any other circumstance; he normally doesn't lose control so easily.]
Clamor was my friend, he was my family, not like I expect you to understand what that even means to me in the first place! Don't you dare accuse him of meaning that little to me.
[Noah has only ever lived for vengeance in the past — starting with Harque and now clearly continuing on with Clamor. Neither of which he's been able to avenge, however ironic that is, for someone who talks only of that.
But he's here now, and there's no one to kill in the name of vengeance, so what then? What does he do other than throw a fit and cry and scream and wish he were dead? He thinks back to all of the times he's felt absolute misery at the death of a fellow exchange student and takes a deep breath. If he were stronger, he could have protected them, right?
Like how he protected them from Hyde.]
I fight... not because I want to live, but because I want others to be able to live. Here, and back home, that's what motivates me to carry on even when it gets too unbearable to live — I want to stop people like Henir's Order and people like Hyde from fucking everything up for others all over again. That's why I carry on. For people like you and Nene and Stephanie and everyone else — the last thing I want is to see you suffer.
...I got my start from wanting revenge for my brother, but I know that I can save others too.