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yogen2021-10-11 11:41 pm
necrophily) wrote in yogen2021-10-11 11:41 pmnetwork, 10/07 | un: s.dito
who the fuck is lucifer
necrophily) wrote in yogen2021-10-11 11:41 pm
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I do not remember them verbatim, [
wolfie no longer has access to the murderlog for a direct quote,] but he asked me why, over and over again, wearing that calm expression he normally did. Then, when he thought he could simply walk away, he murmured into the night,"Talk to someone about why you're upset."
...To be frank with you, I have nothing to say to that.
[Lucifer's angry, because Minato knew. Not that he tried to hide his rage and agony from the boy that night, but it doesn't mean he enjoys being spoken down to. How is it a child's business, Lucifer's feelings?]
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( lucifer, that is equally childish, and for that reason someone died? not that komaeda is thinking, but in a way, this could be seen as a temper tantrum, and komaeda glances off with a chuckle as the elevator stop with a small shake in the cart. )
Hm, he seemed more intune with others feelings than his own, you know?
( whether komaeda's saying he's right or wrong is in the air, but he recalls the other wasn't much of a smiler, but he did things to see the hopes of his friends prosper, to see them smile again. perhaps... )
The counselor will help you with that, tell him why you're upset... and in exchange, he'll break you apart, peel back your skin, and eat whatever you have to offer...
( because that's his job, even though he was komaeda's first experience. aside from that, he looks towards lucifer as his lips purse into a straight line right after, a quick change in pace. ) What do you feel now?
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After that, with him, there's no going back. The minds of demons are too complex to get into. Humanlike in their structure, angellike in their stubbornness and rigidity. That's what happens when you live thousands of years.
No matter what realm he's been in, Lucifer has ever been the sort to detest a challenge to his supposed authority. He was once the most beautiful in the heavens, he is the strongest of the seven sins, and somewhere within his mind only he can protect and maim and do whatever the hell else he damn well pleases because he's him and how dare that be questioned.]
I care little for that man's job. My interest in him is purely aesthetic.
[...Lucifer.
At the very least, he's less furious than he was the night of the murders, less temperamental, less prone to seeing Komaeda's prodding as something that needs to be silenced immediately.]
I don't particularly feel anything now. What's done is done. My retribution has been wrought. Surely there's nothing left to feel.
[Except for guilt, guilt that does not belong to him, for Lucifer is not a man that feels guilt correctly — Lucifer doesn't regret what he did, but he regrets drawing the ire of Sidney in particular, and he lives on knowing that his sister Lilith would resent him for what he's done, and that Lord Diavolo back home would scorn him for his actions. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he gets the niggling sense that Clamor might be upset with him too, were the man alive still.
Morality does not belong to Lucifer; he picks and chooses based on who he's with at the time, for his loyalties go to those he loves only, and anyone else he simply doesn't care about. Caring about the world at large is a human's game, and Lucifer has never been a part of humanity. He cares for his brothers, his late sister, a handful of choice people here, and those he loves too deeply to let go — to ask Pride Himself to see anyone else as important enough to hold and harbour is frankly asking for his long-dead self to return from the Great Celestial War.
Beyond existing as a name and a caretaker of the few he cares for, Lucifer has never really had an identity of his own. Perhaps years ago, when Belphegor called him a lapdog, he was correct in that.]
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( the counselor will do just that, observe and delegate when he listens to lucifer's reasonings, or that's what it seemed like when komaeda was meant to talk about himself. with a hand on his own hip, he takes a step back as he looks up at the other, and listens to his response — he's not a therapist, and he isn't the best judge of character when it comes to someone's feelings, but he knows that the other possibly feels exactly nothing for the people he killed. )
You felt something then, and if you didn't, Arisato-kun would have left unscathed, perhaps even the other bodies, too, left alone, but that's not the case. A string of emotions, one by one, retribution is to extract punishment upon those who have done you wrong — the moment you felt like the world was against you was few and far between, until one.
( probably not his place to mention it, but knowing that lucifer felt something — maybe he didn't understand how to express when he's upset, and so everything else followed one by one — allowed everything he felt to come out in his actions. )
The first deaths were aggressive, you slaughtered them, was it that bad, Lucifer-kun? To act out when no one could see you, because you've never really had a hold on your emotions before? ( it only takes so much to learn what upset him, from how he was during the last murder, and then to pay homage to the doppelganger. )
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Please. I have perfect control over my emotions.
[It shows on his face on a normal day, how something can upset him and he'll frown momentarily before fixing his expression and going back to his normal resting bitch face, a switch he flips to protect himself because to be overly emotional has damned him in the past and it'll damn him now. That, of course, is only on those normal days where he's throwing himself into his work to avoid having to feel anything.
Truly, Lucifer has no idea how to cope with strong emotions, and shutting off has always seemed easier. In those few and far between times when people can wiggle their way into his heart, he protects and cares for them as a guardian angel might, and when they're under duress, he remorselessly slaughters whatever it is that put them in that state. Knowing now that he's lying to both himself and Komaeda makes him sigh, as Lucifer is not a man who lies. He sees things in his own way, yes, and someone might accuse him of lying because of that — who's to say Komaeda won't disagree with Lucifer's claims that people got in his way?
Rubbing his temples, Lucifer mutters lowly,]
I much prefer to turn strong emotions off, if I can.
[But he could not. Not this time.]
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Perfect control... ( he pauses, a hand settling on his hip ) if you can...
( lucifer, someone with such a high status in religious themes, and to certain people that praise his unique symbolism between certain groups of people. respected and feared, and yet, it's this display that goes against his words as komaeda sees every reason of why it happened this way, it's sort of... ironic, actually. though they say humans are modeled after their creators, and who are they if not playthings of those of a higher realm. )
I'm sorry that your emotions turned against you, and you threw a fit akin to the common man...
( as he thinks about it, those deaths did nothing for the people here, and it was all selfish — whose hopes were even raised by that? his? or did it only plummet him further in a pool of sadness knowing that nothing will be gained. )
That's not what this is about, though, is it... because this was our retribution for allowing something to be taken from you, right? ...In the end, those first three bodies... do you think anyone truly cares for them? ...If those were your friends, the second two, all you did was take from yourself, Lucifer-kun! ...Why do you keep losing all that you have left?
( he cants his head to the side curious, eyes innocently peering up at the other. )
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...I don't know. I don't see how their lives were any more valuable than what I've already lost.
[Referring, of course, to the first three — the ways in which they crossed Lucifer haven't been revealed yet, and he's not so quick to say what it was, not because logic has won out but because in his ire he thinks everyone is on the same page as him. This isn't, and has never been, the case.]
Elizabeth and Minato will return to life ere long, as Inaba did, as Bonnie did, as many others have and will. I'm not perturbed.
[It says something that he hasn't outright attacked Komaeda for what would otherwise be seen as insolence; Lucifer has little respect for the man, but that's just because he's Lucifer and he has little respect for anyone he hasn't put on his own pedestal. In some ways, the fact that Lucifer hasn't lashed out despite his earlier comments might speak of a certain level of respect, enough to where he's willing to listen but not enough to where he's willing to gain any positive feelings toward the other. Or, perhaps, he simply needs the catharsis of someone listening to him, and the otherwise-scathing comments are able to be ignored.
Still, his statement that Liz and Minato will return is certainly an interesting one, is it not? Would those who he made his retribution about not return ere long too? It's a conundrum to be certain, and Lucifer's eyes gleam with a certain awareness. He knows, he recognizes, but who knows how long it'll be anyway; the point of his message was not to say that he's unaware of this purgatory, but to make it clear that should he be taken from again, worse things will happen.
It's better for everyone if everyone lives. Such is not how things work out here.
There are a lot of things going through Lucifer's head, and this, frankly, is why he disconnects from his emotions. The hypocrisy of the human existence is something that Lucifer shares in common with them. Some might see it as humanizing something inhuman; others might think a demon is degrading himself by being like mortals. Lucifer cares naught for either argument.]
I would not take it back, however. The consequences they all suffered were because each of them crossed me in a very specific fashion. I have respect for Elizabeth and Minato, friends as we were; I have no respect for the three I left hanging.