yogen | Kiss of Life

[He tries to meet Amami's eyes, looking defeated.]

It was... Well it was Fujisaki-kun. Someone I knew back home, at Hope's Peak, but who also walked these halls.

[He shakes his head.]

It must be some cruel illusion. Whenever I raise my hopes, it usually turns out to be something like that.

( fujisaki-kun, huh... amami looks thoughtful for a moment at the name, and... yeah. he remembers them, even if they only spoke the one time. even so, he shakes his head in response. )

I dunno... I don't think I'm quite creative enough for it to have been an illusion, even if I guess it could be considered cruel, in a sense.

( his run-in felt kinder than cruel, but who knows; if he wasn't down so bad, maybe that kindness would've been more painful than even being mocked. )

But yeah, I've been seeing 'em too. I guess you haven't managed to catch up with any of them then?

[The way he approaches the subject does make Ishimaru curious! Ishimaru frowns thoughtfully as he listens to him, his arms folded.]

No, I have not. They have managed to elude me! What about you, Amami-kun? Have you managed to get the attention of any of them?

Well, it might be more accurate to say that one of them caught my attention. Pretty sure she was waiting for me.

( which was... admittedly kind of nice, considering the circumstances. )

You knew Rika-chan, right? She was here up until last month...

...Ah, Kawai-chan. [His eyes widen with recognition, and he gives a sad nod.] Yes, I- I did know her.

[She was a troublemaker, but he could see that she still had a good heart, and he was still getting to know her when she perished. So this very much has his attention!]

Is she the shadow you... met up with? What happened?

( amami nods back into the room he'd been making his way out of — for simplicity, we'll say it's the music room, which is otherwise fairly empty of people. this isn't really a hallway conversation for him, so he'll wait for ishimaru to step inside before he continues. )

Yeah, it was her. She was my roommate, y'know? We were... we were pretty close.

( to say the least. )

Anyway, seemed like she wanted to talk to me — like she was waiting for me to turn up.

[Ishimaru has no objection to the shift and follows him into the room. It does make sense to have this kind of conversation with relative privacy!

He stands attentively as Amami speaks - and frowns with a soft nod as he talks about her.]

Ah... Yes. It did seem that the two of you were close. [He particularly remembers seeing them together at one of the meetings, where he was vigilantly by her side while she was going through something.]

So she - she recognized you? ...That does sound quite touching. Were you able to communicate?

( oh, good. amami will go ahead and shut the door beside them before he makes himself comfortable on (not at) a nearby desk. )

Yeah, we could. I was worried about that too, honestly — her remembering or not. Still kind of am, considering Kudo-san, but she could when I saw her.

( maybe the memories take time to erode? not something he wants to think about right now though. )

Anyway, I had to use the, uh... ( he'll dig in his pocket for a moment, digging out his adderstone. ) This. Like speaking with Kazuki-san, the gardener — could almost see right through her until I used it to look.

[There are many mysteries surrounding this, to be sure! But there's a hint of hope now, too. Could that shadow really be Chihiro's spirit?

He looks towards the adderstone as it's pulled out.]

Ah yes, that stone! So that, that is what allowed the interaction to take place? ...How did it go?

( amami nods, confirming his words, and pockets the stone again. )

It went... Well, it went about as well as you could hope.

( she remembered him. they spoke. it was nice. if there was anything of particular note to somebody who isn't him, though... )

Wherever she is now, it doesn't seem like it can be so bad. Not any worse than it is here, anyway.

[Ishimaru seems almost enchanted by that concept and comes up close to him, his eyes desperate for hope.]

Really?? That - that is so? So everyone, everyone we've lost... They're okay? They're still living some sort of life somewhere else. Right? Fujisaki-kun, and... everyone...

I mean, I don't know for sure that it went that far, but...

( his gaze flickers to the ground for a moment before lifting to meet ishimaru's eyes again, a wry smile on his face. )

I asked her if she would want to come back, and... she didn't answer me.

( which, yeah, it kind of stung. he'd have gone to the ends of the earth to bring her back, if he had to, but still... it's about what that says, even if it isn't necessarily put into words. that wherever she is, and no matter how much she might be willing to come visit him, to spend that time and say those things for him, he's still not enough for her to have certainty in coming back. he doesn't blame her, honestly, but at least it makes one thing clear. )

So it probably can't be that bad, at least.

( which is reasurance enough for him, right now, considering how much he'd worried they would be somewhere even worse than here. )

[It's a new kind of hope. One that is strange and mysterious and intangible, and yet it feels stronger than the flimsy hope he's previously held onto, of ghosts living in computers. He looks Amami in the eyes as he listens and blinks back some moisture, while the hope in his eyes starts to solidify.]

I see. Thank you for elaborating. Thank you for... for explaining all of this, Amami-kun.

[A hint of a smile plays on his face.]

I feel as if a great relief is washing over me. It may not be ideal, but... if they are continuing to exist and be themselves somewhere, then that... that is enough for me. That is enough to bring some rest to my heart.

Yeah, no problem. It made me feel better too, honestly...

( even if it made him feel a little worse, at the same time, for different reasons. it's still something he can appreciate the importance of — especially for others who've lost people precious to them. judging from the way ishimaru seems to be blinking away some of that hope, amami glancing off to the side to, y'know, spare him being stared down while he does that. or maybe for his own sake, feeling a bit awkward. either way, it seems like this has a lot of meaning for someone as empathetic as him, so amami looks a bit more at ease with ishimaru's words. )

And for the record, I don't think... that this place is all bad, either. The circumstances, yeah, they're pretty rough, but I'm sure there's something we can do to change things.

( because the idea of an afterlife, of a place to go after death until you're ready to take a new step, that doesn't sound so inherently bad on its own. it's just... the format, the system, the way they carry things out here — that's what he has a problem with. )

I am very glad that it helped you to feel better. [He says that gently, with a soft bow of his head. Knowing that he was close to Rika, he can understand the significance of his words.

He pauses thoughtfully for a moment before he meets Amami's eyes.]

...I see. Your opinion is noted, and... I believe that I understand what you mean, to a degree. Now that I know the truth of why we are here... It feels very different than when we thought it was another kidnapping within the- the living world. [Now he knows. They're dead. It's something that comes with a dramatic mix of feelings, but among those feelings are comfort and relief at a continued existence after death. For him, and for all those lost in the killing game.]

It is the prevalence of murder and torturous phenomena that make this place so awful. I want to believe that hard work can change anything. That must include even... the horrible parts of this place. Then this can become an institute of learning that I can feel truly proud to attend...

[Of course, the part of this whole deal that he's been a fan if from the beginning has been this place being a school, with actual classes! With work, this could really become his heaven.]

I do want to hope, Amami-kun.

Haha, talking like that, makes me wonder if you should run for stuco pres if the chance ever comes up.

( which, you know, here's to hoping it doesn't come up again in the same way... but with that kind of conviction, yeah. amami can see ishimaru leading this school to a better place. certainly doing a better job than maya has been so far. in any case, he'll nod along after he's said his piece. )

But I think so too. Between the two of us, and with the help of everyone else, I'm sure we'll find a way.

( and while they're on the topic— )

This place wasn't always this way, in any case; It might not've been perfect before, but it wasn't as bad as it is now. If things can get worse, they can certainly get better too. Actually, I've been wondering about it for a while. You don't mind if I bounce some ideas off of you, do you?

Ah... Th-thank you! That position would... it would certainly be an honor that I would put my all into.

[He always wanted to be a great leader. But of course, it all depends on how it happens. He may have his misgivings with Maya, but he doesn't want something to happen to her!

A smile does start to grow on his fact at Rantaro's confidence. It is very heartening.]

That does sound like sound logic, and I certainly hope to make it so! [If they work hard, he's sure they can find a way to make it better. He nods diligently at the other boy's question.] I do not mind at all! I will gladly act as your sounding board. By all means, fire away!

Thanks, Ishimaru-kun. I appreciate it.

( because it's something he's been thinking for a long time now — piecing together bits here and there, trying to pull together a puzzle with the mis-matched scraps of history he can learn about this place. folding his arms over his chest, give him a minute and he'll try to figure out where to start. )

Anyway, it's about the fire, coincidentally enough. ( haha. fire away. ) You know about it, right? A while back there was a fire — burnt the whole school down, but all the students were still locked inside. Some were burned alive, and others...

( he pauses, considering for a moment, but decides better of it. )

Well, none of them survived, though it looks like a couple came back this year.

( he shakes his head, breathes out a soft sigh as his gaze drops, but lifts it again to meet ishimaru's after. )

According to Kazuki-san, that could've been around the time the rules changed to what they are now. Before, they were the rules of how to keep yourself safe from him. After the fire, he said that the students started acting different — more tense. And it's strange, isn't it? That even on the "other side" of the school, you can still see remnants of that fire left behind. So I was thinking... that maybe that fire is the reason things are the way they are now. That maybe that violence left a mark on the school and made it into what it is today.

[Ishimaru raises a fist to his chin as he goes into attentive listening mode, while Amami recaps all of that.]

I... I see. I did not know many details about that fire, so that was... very enlightening.

[He lowers his hand and stands at attention as he speaks.]

I believe that what you have on your hands is a very viable hypothesis! If that marks the shift in the demeanor of the student body, that sounds like a sure sign in my eyes! And if the rules changed during that time frame, then that does not sound like a coincidence to me! More investigation would have to be carried out to confirm it for sure. If only we could find out more details about that fire and what caused it! And who decided upon this change in the rules? They have to be a key towards shifting the ways of this school!

Yeah, I guess there hasn't exactly been a chance to bring them up, huh?

( it's one way to put it, at least. the other being "well most of the people who knew those details got killed in october." but they've already talked about that half, and amami doesn't like thinking about that aspect too hard if he can avoid it. intead, as always, he focuses on what can be done. )

Anyway... There might be a way, but it's hard to say for sure. If you asked Goto-kun, they could have a better idea of what happened at that time, but it's a coin flip on if they'd actually remember or not considering what happened with Kudo-san...

( it's also a relatively sensitive topic, considering what he'd just noted about the students who'd been there for it, but amami doesn't think he needs to specify that for someone as considerate as ishimaru tries to be. )

[That's definitely the less depressing way of putting it. Ultimately, knowing the information late is better than never. He'll take every morsel he can get! He nods along at that.]

Goto-kun... I see. We have not spoken before, but I shall try to seek the right opportunity to inquire about it. [He might not always have tact, but he's thinking with it in this case.] It is best to check just in case they do remember! We have to follow every lead that we can in such a confined place. In any case, I wholeheartedly appreciate you sharing this with me, Amami-kun.

[He gives a grateful bow of his head.]

( amami returns the bow with a nod of his own, some energy returning to his expression to reflect ishimaru's. )

No problem, I'm glad if it can help.

( sharing information like this, they can divide and conquer or something. but yeah, one way or another, if they follow enough leads, they're sure to figure something out. most importantly though, with a warm, soft smile: )

Just make sure you're good to them, yeah? If they do remember, it was probably pretty rough on them, and if not, they seem like a good kid. It'd be nice to look out for them either way.

( the way saihara spoke... hands full or not, amami feels kind of bad that he hasn't done so already. )

[Ishimaru responds with a firm nod.]

Understood! Should I find the opportunity, I will be sure to employ a cautious approach! I... I do not wish to touch up traumatic memories unnecessarily. [He now knows very well himself what it's like, when his life in this school has caused those kinds of memories to multiply.]

Please do not worry. You can entrust this with me!

Thanks, Ishimaru-kun. I know I can count on you.

( from the very start, he'd made a positive impression. he might be a little stiff at times, yeah, but his heart's in the right place — it's something that amami can't help but respect. )

Speaking of which, if you ever need anything, you can let me know. I figure it must be tough being a transfer student and a student council member, so know we've got your back too.

[And Ishimaru has no complaints about him. He doesn't know Amami very well, but he's only shown himself to be a dependable guy, especially with the dispensing of this new information.]

It- it does come with its share of difficulties... [He'd say that the process of joining the council was much harder than actually being on it!]

Thank you. I appreciate that sincerely, Amami-kun! And I will keep that in mind should a matter arise that could use your aid. You can ask the same of me as well. Let us all look out for each other as we make it through these hardships!

Kiss of Life

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