Entry tags:

11/08 - 11/13 Cultural Festival

The school campus opens its doors to the public early Monday morning, with family, friends, neighbors, and strangers arriving to fill up the halls, each visitor having eyes of gold and wallets full of cash. Festival events run from 8AM to 4PM, and pamphlets are handed out by students lining the locker area, which include a schedule and a map of the campus:

✽ The opening event on Monday is an idol performance in the auditorium by the twin star unit GEMINI, consisting of Natsume Sakasaki and Subaru Akehoshi. On Thursday afternoon, the music club will hold a performance in the auditorium, featuring the typical choir with piano accompaniment, a capella performances by smaller groups of members, as well as solos, with requests taken in between performances so members can switch off and take a break.

✽ The student store is open every day up until noon on Saturday, and while the absurdly high prices are still absurdly high, there is a sign up in front of the rock gacha that one of the prizes is an all day pass to any of the school's events for one day of the festival. The odds aren't worth the price, but it's not like the shopkeep reveals the odds.

✽ Class 1-B is hosting a themed cafe in their homeroom.

✽ Class 1-D has turned their homeroom and neighboring classrooms into escape rooms, which runs from Tuesday to Friday.

✽ The robotics/programing club and the gaming club have set up a variety of video games in 2-A, and are hosting a competition between visitors and their AI.

✽ Class 3-D is hosting a kissing booth in their homeroom.

✽ In the home ec cooking room, the cooking club is hosting a cooking contest, with student judges and prizes for the winners.

✽ The sewing club and the art club have put together a photo booth inside the home ec sewing room, featuring all sorts of props and costumes imaginable to try on and pose in front of a number of hand painted backgrounds. Photos are taken by an instant camera for visitors to take home a keepsake. In the art club room, the art club has a gallery set up, with paintings hanging from the walls and sculptures set up in front of them, and a strict no touching policy or one of the members threatens to scoop your eye out with a palette knife and she doesn't look like she's joking. There is a large open canvas, however, for visitors to try their hand at paints or charcoal or pastels on what will become a collaborative art piece done by an entire week's worth of visitors. Occasionally throughout the festival, an art club member will have a space off to the corner for portraits or face painting.

✽ The sewing club has also contributed plush toy prizes for various other class' game stalls throughout the school, where visitors can pay to play for a chance to win small prizes, and are able to trade up several smaller prizes for larger ones.

✽ Out past the courtyard, various sports teams host games throughout the week, including relay races and obstacle courses and tug o' war and """soccer""". Basically it's sports day, because there had been a sports day on the calendar but I never look at the calendar so it was already halfway through the month before I realized.

✽ The fourth floor hallway has been cleaned up and turned into the rest area, with rugs laid out across the ground and comfy chairs scattered around the room and little bags of cat treats for sale to entice the fluffy white cat into hanging out in this space all week. Even without treats, she is content to sit on people's laps and rub against their ankles and let them bury their faces in her stomach. Healing.

✽ In the evening on the final day, after all the visitors leave, a large bonfire is set up in a non-flammable area between the courtyard and pool building and left to burn late into the night for those students who choose to remain on campus until around 8PM, when the festival culminates in a small fireworks show that lights up the sky overhead in reds and golds, while on the ground, sparklers are passed around for a quiet moment appreciating the beauty, and transience, of life.

OOC

✽ Throughout the school year, merit points have occasionally been earned through interactions between students involving strong emotion, whether positive or negative. This month, characters may notice that this happens much more frequently, and the amount of merit points earned is also sometimes more than the typical one point. Please report threads of strong emotion below, as this will minorly affect December.
✽ On 11/23, Yogen sees its first snow of the year, a light dusting across campus that does not stick when the sun rises again the next morning, but it will snow on and off until the end of the month.
✽ This event log doubles as a TDM, with new characters experiencing the recurring feeling of drifting in (school life) and out (canon life) of sleep up until they "open their eyes," after which they will have full awareness and come to their senses.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ It must be one more result of him adapting to Komaeda's presence, and the outside world more generally, because he doesn't dismiss the idea even now. He wonders what that would look like. He knows most of the traditions, and he'd seen others celebrate, but all of those were just words from a textbook and images on a screen. But maybe it wouldn't be bad with a person like this. ]

You think so? I dunno much about them, ahaha... Hm, I guess that is part of it, though? [ Mistletoe, that is. ] I guess you could make other flowers look like it, but...

[ He tilts his head slightly as he considers the last comment, trying to process that. He knows the tradition behind them, but that hardly explains it. ]

...? Why would anyone be jealous?

Hm... That's what we'll do from now on, I can teach you flower languages, if you want.

( he'll lean to the side so that he can look at the other's face properly, just so he can see if he's interested or not. even if he's not, komaeda doesn't care because he's already making a mental note to bring ranger along to the library, maybe in a week or two then they can read together. besides, it's a place he likes to stay at anyway where his luck has no control over him, and nothing really bad happens unless he wills it.

there's a sense of comfort, and he wonders could he stay just as comfortable there if he's with another person that he's been with for this amount of time. )

It's be difficult, but you'd have to ask the students from art club, but... I find that they might be afraid of you.

( did ranger ever apologize, probably not, and it's also probably too late as he mentions it. he shrugs as he thinks on the other's next question, and komaeda laughs softly. )

You're pretty, Ranger-kun. Everyone wants a beautiful person to kiss them, that's natural! Hm...

( and in this school where everyone acts like they never kissed someone before? they'd probably beg. )

[ Ranger's eyes briefly roll up as he considers the idea before returning to the screen. There's nothing about his expression that suggests that he's object, which tends to be as good of a sign as any that he's agreeable to a suggestion. ]

Sure. I know a little, but not much.

[ He could benefit from it. He was an AI, so his inclination was often to fill in the gaps in his database with raw data. It was only emotional matters that he seemed to struggle with. But he doesn't mind this, and Ranger doesn't mind the idea of spending more time with Komaeda. Even his weight has become a small comfort, though he can't quite place why. He dismisses it as a natural consequence of habit, and perhaps the more nefarious act of wanting a person who can so tolerate touching him.

He does, however, scoff at the mention of the art club. He had not, in fact, apologized and had no intention of doing so. The poor first impression had gone both ways. That aside, he thinks that he should be able to do it well enough by himself if he could just collect a bit of additional data.

He thinks on it a little more. If he couldn't secure real ones, would artificial flowers work? Those would be easier to work with. But, hm, the appeal of flowers was how transient they were, wasn't it? It wasn't like he could replicate the exact attributes here... Hmmm...

He is, in fact, taking this assignment very seriously. ]

Huuuh? That's weird.

[ Being told that he's pretty still bothers him a little. Even now, it feels as though he's being made fun of, for as much as he hates mirrors and other reflective surfaces - anything that reminds him of what he is. He glances over his shoulder briefly. He's certain he's being messed with now, but decides it best to confirm. ]

That go for you too?

It does go for me, I'll help you with the flowers so ask me anything that you'd like.

( a switch of the conversation done easily because he understands the lead in of ranger's question, and komaeda would rather not bother with it. he's the same, not seeing his appearance as anything worthy of praise, and even he knows his looks aren't the best — imagine being around someone as ugly as him, possibly unbearable, but he knows good taste and bad taste. his taste in people has always been right despite being a little too honest with his thoughts because he's not against calling someone ugly.

he smiles, flipping the card to a smile as well so that they match. )

Poinsettias are also great as decoration, but finding red paint is hard... using my own blood is an option, though.

( a passing thought as he looks towards his prosthetic, but he knows fully well that no blood comes from there, and he glances to his organic one now. he could, and now his own mind runs at a speed of harming himself than taking care, but he doesn't think that matters while mulling over what he can use. )

[ That answer is as good of a confirmation as any other, so he's not displeased with it. Honestly, what a rude way to tease somebody. He should throw him off for that alone. He doesn't, though, instead rolling his eyes at the suggestion of using blood. ]

That's disgusting.

[ Do you understand just how unsanitary that is, Komaeda? He doesn't think you do. And that look he's shooting you now suggests that he's happy to explain why it is if he so chooses to continue considering it. ]

There a reason red's so hard to find, or is it just one of the inexplicable things about this place?

Edited 2021-11-25 09:50 (UTC)

...Hm. The red paint that they use here is blood, I guess it comes with being in purgatory.

( that's right, ranger isn't up to date with all the weird little quirks of the school. komaeda's been here for a long time, since the start of the school year, and there's so much he could fill in, and others he could shrug his shoulders because there's really no answers. )

It's a luxury, but I know Chidouin-san and Tsukimi-kun's room in the dormitory is filled with red!

( that's a special little thing, but like those special rooms, nothing can leave out of them. the information is as golden, but just as useless to anyone who hears it. )

[ two were bouncing around like a damn ping pong ball so idek pretentious philosophy shit and then somehow komaeda ends up dragging him around looking for cards.......... wild ]

Sounds more like a horror trope.

[ Sara and Shin's room...? He files that information away for later. It doesn't seem to be anything of immediate use, but any and all information is worth knowing. How strange. ]

... 'Cause it's purgatory, huh...

[ He repeats those words slowly, thoughtfully, only half paying attention to what he's doing now. Granted, that tends to be enough for him. But the small mistakes he makes shortly after and the way he abruptly falls silent suggests that he's trying to solve some problem or another.

It's not new information, but every time it comes up he runs into the same issues, and he still hasn't been able to solve even one of them. ]

This place does give off a horror and mystery vibes, doesn't it? I tend to find it has it's slice of life moments when there's no murders.

( why being in purgatory means there's no red is a mystery, but it's one they'll have to think hard on, or if that's even an issue. at the end of the day, maybe remembering that they bleed red is meant to signify something, perhaps that they're still "alive" in symbolic terms. it couldn't be considering how much the people here find the color red to be a luxury, but they're sure serious about it once they're able to get their hands on it — the art club that is. )

We're in a cycle.

( he swaps items with ranger, reaching for the controller as he offers the face cards for him to use, and komaeda positions himself so that his chin rests on top of his head. he should have asked before doing that, but he does what he wants, and he stares up at the screen without staring at the device, tapping away so he can have a turn himself. clicking at the stage 1-7, it commences with the red yoshi jumping in. )

It's mundane days like this that makes me think when another body will be found.

[ That's a common theme too, he thinks, events that which repeat themselves. It could be as dramatic as time loops, or it could be as mundane as repeated problems meant to create drama within a story. Ranger doesn't know all of them very well, but he enough of an overview to understand the basics.

His eyes flick up again as he feels Komaeda's chin on his head, but he allows it for now. He doesn't mind the controller being taken. He lifts up the mask that covers his eyes, rather than his mouth. ]

Have people started to get numb to it yet?

[ Rinse and repeat, over and over. Were they spaced out widely enough that it came as a shock, or did it not matter? In the simulations, all the deaths had been in rapid succession. Even so, once it became routine, the shock and horror would start to wear off - eventually, only those who were close or indoctrinated would care. ]

The one that I know of... his anger is getting worse.

( can ranger see through that? it's a question that comes up in komaeda's thoughts as he notices the black card in the peripheral of his vision. he doesn't know what face it's meant to be making, but he can only guess that it's just as comical as the rest of his faces that he uses. overdramatic, cartoonish, probably fitting for the personality or a new micro expression he's willing to show for the moment. )

He hates it... he wants to do away with all of this.

( the thing about this is it's not a conversation komaeda has shared outside of what they've spoken about, and when it comes to hope, komaeda is eager to please. he doesn't sound bothered as he says this though as he clicks a few more buttons, causing the creature on the game to flutter, and barely missed crashing into a flower. he's slow on the uptake, because it would be his luck that the monster would turn around, walking into him, and causing the baby to float up in a bubble crying as the timer runs down. )

I wonder if you could say some of us are numb, apparently I've been here more than once... I've just forgotten every time. ( he remembers very little, but what he does remember only means so much to other people that he recognizes, but even then, it's... odd for him. so he doesn't make a habit of bringing it up. )

Can you really call that numbness? It just sounds like somebody who's unable to shut themselves off. Anger is an important tool too, you know. It's how you know you're still alive.

[ It's as non-judgmental as his questions tend to be, a simple question asked without any particular emotion, because in the end anger was the fight part of "fight, flight, or freeze" strategy that humans were born with, and it could be used in any number of ways. It could be used for personal means, for societal change, or any other number of things.

Stress was what indicated that there was something wrong, that a change was needed. It was a powerful motivator. But there's no judgment to his tone, though the mask remains. He can't see, but that's fine; he doesn't want to see when he's using that one - it can see just fine for him.

He switches it now, taking up the ice cream cone. He doesn't know what face should go with that line. ]

... Have you been here before? I wonder why that is... Maybe it's harder for people when they're spaced out so far apart, and there's people coming and going.

[ He stares ahead. ]

If you see half a dozen drop out over the span of a week or so, you stop caring pretty fast.. Well, maybe you don't, but it's only 'cause you got the nagging feeling that you're next. But you start making those decisions to kill others pretty naturally.

[ He's seen it play out innumerable times. There were some that were already starting to grow numb on his floor. ]

Oh, I forgot to answer your vital question. Nope, he's not numb at all, but others are.

( his anger is why he wants to do away with the school and its inhabitants, why he feels the need to keep fighting, but it's true that anger is why he's still alive — why he keeps coming back. he won't lie that ranger has a solid idea of what's going on with their cycle, and he praises by relaxing even more on top of the other, and remaining focused on the game. two clicks here, take a quick left.

he's been here before, apparently, and another says it's all just lies a person weaves to keep themselves together, but that doesn't explain the few people he's seen before. if he tries to piece them with the knowledge he knows is real, then nothing makes sense, and all comes back to that he must have attended this school more than once. )

Memories create a person, makes them who they are, and when those are taken away... who are you, really? That's the feeling this place gives off when you first arrive.

( his fingers stop clicking as he hears the next part about killing, and his thoughts remain the same. killing time survive, killing and no longer caring, where does he fall on the scheme of things, he thinks that dead bodies don't mean much to him anymore considering they symbolize growth, but he doesn't want people not to care, he wants them to care that it benefits them. )

Wouldn't that be part of their paranoia and fear? What about you, Ranger-kun, would you say you're desensitized to something like that? When it comes to graduation, only one third year was allowed to graduate last year, so that resulted in a bloodbath. I wonder was she afraid, or her hope got her that far...

( it is a shame that teamwork wasn't part of the equation. he even sighs audibly, but doesn't make any mention of it. )

[ Ranger considers that a little more. Anger was an important tool, and it was what kept one alive. It was what stirred innovation, but it has diminishing benefits. What use was there to answer that couldn't be relieved? He thinks of his own situation, how that frustration has built up. He'd despised every last one of them. Ranger has focused on that so strongly, wanting to see them fall apart. What had happened, then, and how had it fallen apart?

What purpose had it served him, and what change had it made? It seems to him to be the same issue here; a problem with no cause, emotions that led to no change.

Fear was much the same way. It was proof that you were still alive. That's why, rather than being desensitized, he takes comfort in it. If he could see their corpse, that meant that he was still safe. It was like the steady beat of his heart, or the breaths he took, despite needing either. As long as he had those things, it meant that he hadn't expired. He wonders if he should say that, though.

No... He shouldn't say too much, and yet, as always seems to happen with Komaeda, he finds himself speaking freely. ]

Yeppers, you got it in one! When you're in a situation where somebody's gotta die, or gets comforting to see a corpse, you know? You start to think, "ah, this person is dead, so that means I'm still alive! This person died in my place!" ... I mean, if you have someone a gun and told them that they had to kill somebody, or let everyone die, then normally a person would be relieved if the person next to them died.

[ Even if it was somebody he cared for, their death was better then his. ]

Hmm... I guess you could say that's more or less how I feel about it, too. I don't really mind as long as it's nobody I care about, and if it is, that's on me for being a dumbass and letting it happen. It's just one more problem to deal with.

[ Without meaning to, he adds: ]

Dead bodies are just trash. You can dig around and take what you want from them.

[ The reminder that you're alive, anger that spurs action, trauma that causes hallucinations, despair that cripples - anything, because that was the right of those who survived.

For all of his tendency to give literal answers and echo other views, he doesn't quite do so here - they all probably thought the same thing, but that was only natural. Ranger, like all of them, had a long time to think about that question. ]

Edited (MOBILE TAGS HARD) 2021-11-28 02:12 (UTC)

Hm... Some people are selfish, they hold onto life, watch other people die, and use that as their escapism.

( his fingers tap a few more buttons as he thinks on it, people are... selfish to the point they want to live, they'll do anything, even kill or watch people die as long as they survive. though, that's not a bad thing if it's to promote one's hope that komaeda loves and cherishes. he clicks the abutton, hopping over bridges to successfully bring him close to the end of the level. the fact that others want to live is a human trait, so can be said in the same vein as dying — humans want to do things they cannot achieve alone, and so they bring others into it. )

I don't like mindless killing that means nothing, especially if you — a general you — kill, and you do nothing to move forward. Just the thought of killing to remain alive, but what will you do with that life...?

( sometimes people waste it, as for komaeda, he's never been able to give away his life because his luck won't let him. he can't die unlike the yoshi that falls into the pit, the baby floating up, and the enemies coming to collect their debt. when people die, what's left, what do they have to offer aside from being stepping stone — because the creature is dead, would their death count as a foundation for the child? was that death needed, or should the yoshi have worked harder to create a future for the child? either way, there's a future, there's something which comes from it whether it's good or bad — he can't tell which, though. now, if people died, and no one came for the child, then the child would die not too soon after, no one will save it, and both would count as hopeless deaths because that baby could do nothing with its life.

when someone dies, prolonging another's life and they do nothing with it, in a way, that's hopeless, right? )

What a waste... ( that's why he can't stand it when people frown about aiko's death, she's a stepping stone, she's what motivated and pushed this group — komaeda did it for them. he was hated afterwards, despised, and he's sure even those feelings remain in the group because he'll kill for hope, die for hope, and here some say that nothing came for it. why is he the only one who understands anything, why is he surrounded by idiots on most days, why...! )

Hm? Looting dead bodies...? I don't mind digging around in a body to look for clues, but I guess they're dead so they have no use for anything anymore.

( he smiles, recounting their conversation, and his previous run in with the deceased. ) It's like I always say, "if they don't say anything when you take it, it's fine!" ( they're dead, so, what can they say? also, he doesn't always say that. )

Well.. That too. Personally, I'll take whatever I want off 'em, since they're not using them any more.

[ He had taken clothes, after all. He had fed on their regrets, and those regrets were used as a way to mock and motivate those that were left behind. It hadn't been his idea, but it was his choice. He was allowed to take as he would, mock as he would, act as he would within a set of predefined rules... That's right, though it had been limited, it had been his choice. Though they had been taken from corpses, those items had been his and no one else's for his time with them.

Yet, he's not wearing them any longer, and so Ranger is quiet for a moment. He considers saying more. If nothing more, this is a topic that which he has a set of thoughts on. He taps the floor with his index finger, unsure if he should say anything more. It frustrates him now more than ever, because he can't comprehend human reactions to such things. He can record them logically, keep records and note them, but there's no emotional reaction from him even now.

He's satisfied, though. Ranger is satisfied because he can survive when others has died. Was that wrong? Was it wrong to simply survive, even though he might be able to finally reach happiness the next day? Even though he wants that more than anything?

Tap, tap, tap... ]

But I meant in a different way... Hmm, do you really want my thoughts on it? Seems to me like people are pretty inflexible on the subject for most people, so I dunno how much good dialog on it does.

[ Ranger doesn't want to waste his time to hear about this and that on morality.

Tap, tap, tap... Regardless of the answer, he'll add a different question, ]

You killed somebody, right? Tell me about it. I'd rather hear about it from you than some third party.

...Yeah, they're not using it. I've taken my fair share of body parts.

( fingers, arms, just collateral for extra opportunities he's unable to get while a person is dead. he could elaborate that he means here, but that would be a lie, he's done it outside of yogen as well; he's not too proud of that one, but his mind had came to the conclusion to have hope, he would force despair onto him in order to have both. that reasoning doesn't apply here in yogen, he continues: )

If you take limbs, fingers specifically, you can open the PDAs of students. Even keep them on you, if you want.

( he speaks from experience, there's actually one in his pocket that he's kept ahold to for months now, there hasn't been a real reason to use it, but he's always thinking a few steps head, a just in case. he'd never know when it may come in handy, or if someone may find use out of it, considering there's so many mysteries here... who knows if something odd might appear on the screen? he had many thoughts, and he yawns softly while rolling on top of ranger, and off to the side so that he's laying on his back now. the controller lays on his chest as he fiddles with the buttons. )

You say it like there's bad dialog, I don't believe that's the case. It's how people view it, to others... you might have said something incomprehensible, or the best thing since... a certain philosopher.

( he pauses at the question though, his eyes looking down towards ranger almost confused. his reasons have never been justifiable by any means, and he clicks his tongue while thinking back — yeah, he did kill someone. )

It won't be as fun if you don't have someone to gossip with, people say pretty amusing things about me. ( he laughs softly, he doesn't care, but he knows how people think about him. they're not wrong for it, but they are naive for not understanding. ) Are you sure?

[ Ranger's surprised that such a thing as corpse robbing could be effective here. After all, a dead body would decompose rather rapidly unless it was properly preserved. He suspects that they don't have effective tools for that here... Hm, but then, if the devices were unlocked by fingerprints he wonders if there isn't an easier way to accomplish that than carrying around a piece of a corpse. But that was too much to focus on at one time, and so he tucks the information away for now. He would inquire more later.

No bad dialog, huh? Ranger supposes that's true enough, people were free to take words as they would. Even so, he has little patience for people who don't listen and even less for repeating himself. Once it became too tedious to deal with, he would shut down topics swiftly and end conversations rather than slog through such an unproductive discussion. Though how people managed to walk through life so damn empty headed is truly a mystery to him. ]

... Hmmm, well, in that case lemme think on it a little more.

[ Hearing the answer to his question seems as though it might be as good of a way as any to determine how much more he wants to offer here. Ranger justifies it as such, anyway - it's easier than admitting to how easily he's been letting pieces of himself spill out in their conversations. He likes talking to this person, he likes hearing their thoughts, but... Ranger was still a product of ASUNARO first and foremost. ]

Eh, if I'm not satisfied, I can always check in with the peanut gallery. I'm more interested in what you have to say.

[ There's nothing like getting information from the source, but even if there wasn't, he values Komaeda's thoughts far more highly than most. That was reason enough to want to hear about it directly from him. ]

Edited 2021-11-28 21:11 (UTC)

You can say I've been here since the first group woke up.

( when their canon yogen memories resurfaced or something, it was odd, he didn't know who he was, but he knew who he was — he was in a state that didn't make sense because he looked naegi in his eyes, and almost cried from seeing him considering he was ultimate hope. had his mind been right at the moment, he would have acted differently, but he was still adjusting to the place, and its secrets. at the start, nothing made sense, and it was only until they played along that they could see what didn't make sense, and what they had to figure out with was only so little — a body within a case. )

When we didn't know anything, and people were scared, but what I disliked most is that... they wanted to grow accustomed to this place as the norm. ...Were they that easy, I wondered. I felt bad for them, my heart felt so worried for their hope if they gave up to whatever was offered to us. The only way to keep themselves sane... there was also distrust among the group, they hated natives, natives disliked them.

( it's hard to think back to months ago when his memory doesn't serve much for him anymore, so he's trying to recount what he remembers — even if it's in his vision, it seems right. a hand lifts to his head, rubbing at the temples as he sighs softly. he doesn't think that's a pretty bad headache, but perhaps he's been staring too intensely at the screen before him. )

The dead body offered to us in Golden Week stopped them in their tracks... when blood touched the floor, we suffered a sort of vertigo...

( he pauses, closing his eyes as he officially stops moving his hands to play with the controller, and he offers it to the other. it feels the same as giving ranger this information, he's never traded it with anyone or explained his reasons for why he did everything he's done, probably with one person — yet, that person was to figure out the case to begin with. he feels like he can continue even though it's been such a long time... )

What part do you need explained to you? How I killed her? Why I did it? How I got caught? I don't mind.

( he's offering a point and click, and he doesn't do that for many. )

[ Ranger takes the controller back, considering the information that's been given to him. It paints a clear picture, and it dovetails nicely with their current conversation. Humans were flexible, they adapted, and they naturally slipped into new normals. The longer they were in one place, the more they would resign themselves and stop thinking. It was the same as the Majority Game. It was the same as ASUNARO. The way they existed was normal, but he knows that each and every one of them must have been different before.

It was easy to grow frustrated with that kind of complacency. There were those who would say that such actions, such glassiness, was akin to a person falling asleep - they needed a little jolt, a shock to the system, to wake them up and get them moving again. Ranger isn't sure how he feels about that one, but it's true enough that its important for change to occur. Regardless, it sets the stage for him.

What does he need explained? Well, isn't it obvious? ]

All of it... Hm, well, whatever you're willing to explain, anyway.

[ There's no such thing as useless information in these cases. It was all context, and it all said something about him. It was like painting a picture without adding the shading and lighting, all the little details that completed it. Still, he wonders if that's asking too much. ]

If I was gonna pick the most important ones to me, though, it'd be why you did it, and what the results were.

[ What was the goal, and had he accomplished them? He's only dedicating a fraction of what he's doing to the game now, instead focusing his senses on Komaeda insomuch as he can. Ranger, more than any other, pays close attention to others - he has to because it's the only way he can pretend to be one. ]

...Hm. I was in love. ( this comes out easily, but he doesn't know when his heart made that drastic decision, maybe it was when they first met. ) I love Ultimates with all my heart, so think of my actions as a love letter for a moment — I didn't like the way he put himself down, and so I wanted him to make use out of his talents, show everyone how reliable he was... I wanted to give him stepping stones so he saw himself in a brighter light.

( explaining his feelings are hard when he hardly has any, and so he speaks from what he knows, or how he believes he felt. he just wanted to see that person at their best, and what better way was there then giving them something that they were talented in the field of. )

That's why I dropped the first clue to him. Perhaps, he could have stopped my evil deeds...

( komaeda closes his eyes, placing a hand over his stomach as he thinks on how to continue, )

Now I only said for a moment, which admits that... there's other reasons. Everyone stuck in place like they were frozen in time, I wanted to give them a little push, help them find a direction... the deceased can become stepping stones, giving others the need to learn from their mistakes so they aren't next, or remain stronger so they can survive... I wanted them to keep their eyes faced forward, and to never look back, there was already one body, so I added another. They worked real hard — together — that's what mattered! I wanted to see then unite and no long distrust one another... why live distrusting when we can all die trusting each other to kill one another!

( he stops to inhale, catching his breath as he listens to himself too, to others he may sound crazy, and he feels as if he might get the same response as always. that he was insane, or something was wrong with him, or his methods were entirely wrong — though, ranger's slightly different from the norm, but he does have his own thoughts depending on the subject. ranger's honest though, and komaeda doesn't really listen to others so even if it's the same thing — it won't hurt him too much. )

...Ranger-kun, I wondered if the body in the glass case was special, why hadn't she decayed, why was her body like she was sleeping...? A deceased body for auction during Golden Week that we couldn't get inside unless it was won through merit points... I wondered if other natives could stay preserved like her. ...I went out my way to figure out a few answers, and I even learned that killing someone gives you a tally. Ahaha...

( he leans up properly now, turning forward so that he can see the tv, and he doesn't watch ranger at all as he does this. it's not like komaeda has to see someone looks disappointed at him, especially with the expression that's hidden behind those cards. )

The results are that... I saw the hope of people come together, friends being made... It's what I wanted to see, and even helped a few things in the future... I love hope, I love the hope that these underdogs try to replicate from Ultimates, I wanted to help them even if it meant at the cost of my own life... That's why they're terrified of my existence and hate me, but it was worth it for their hope.

"Why live distrusting when you can all die trusting each other to kill one another..."

[ He repeats those words with care, testing how each and every single one feels as it rolls off his tongue. He falls silent after that, staring straight head. He's completely still aside from the clicking of the controller and the rise and fall that comes with each breath, and there's a small, thoughtful sound - there again, little tells that he's giving something more consideration than he usually might, but more pronounced this time. It reminds him of the Floormasters. It reminds them of the Majority Game. It reminds them of that dichotomy between those who trusted and those who trusted that death would come.

It reminds him of the game's purpose. How many times had they wondered? How many times had they asked? And what was it? Well... It was because of a person who had such a deep love that they would have been fine with my own death as long as she won it all. It was because they had seen such charisma- what he's sure would be called hope. It was such a strong desire to see another person live, to see them succeed and overcome all obstacles.

But she died in the final trial.

Years and years, countless efforts, countless sacrifices, countless lives ruined, all for the sake of recreating that hope. People raised from birth for the sole purpose of recreating a single moment in time. He doesn't particularly support it, but nor does Ranger particularly just approve. It's an aim and a goal, it's a decades long effort that will either succeed or fail. It's an attempt to regain what was lost so many years ago, to fill some empty gap in the heart. It's an effort to elevate one single person above the rest no matter what for that singular purpose of seeing them succeed.

He thinks of that, and other things of well. Of a shock to the system, of experimentation and surgery, of technology that serves no purpose other than to benefit its creators, of medical treatments that exist solely to erase the past and to destroy the painful things while holding onto the pleasant and happy ones. He thinks of bitterness and jealousy, of a hatred so strong that it has no choice but to burst forward, that would consume them if another person didn't die in their place.

No matter how cruel it is, no matter how evil and despicable it seems, no matter how many sacrifices must be made or how hated you are.

Ranger thinks on and on, comparing and contrasting, lining things up and declaring each one to be nothing more than a neutral observation. Was it sad, or was it happy? Was it pitiable or despicable? He knows the answers to these things, but the only ones who are allowed to pass that judgment are those who suffered its effects. As for Ranger, none of it seems to particularly matter. Those were personal aims, personal goals, of which only a person could decide.

Even if everyone else despises it, in the end, all that matters is the outcome. It doesn't matter if you have to throw other people under the bus, just as long as you're alive. It doesn't matter how many people die, just as long as you can keep going. But something's wrong with that. Something's wrong with applying that logic, and he has the distinct sense that he's missing something vital.

After an impossibly long time, he seems to come to a conclusion. He wasn't asked for his opinion, but he has the distinct feeling that he's supposed to give it regardless. ]

The outcome, and a person's satisfaction with that outcome, are all that matters. If you succeed and find yourself happy with that outcome, then it was a net positive. If you failed, or if you're not happy after, then it was a failure.

[ He nods once, seeming satisfied with that. ]

So then, are you happy now?

[ The question is neutral, without any particular inclination one way or another. It's the same way that he always asks questions - for the sake of getting an answer, for the sake of finishing his own conclusions on the issue, though in the end it hardly matters. Success meant you could stop, failure meant you kept going. That was it.

Would it be enough if that girl lived? Was it ever enough? But it's fine if it is. ]

I've always been happy, what made you think otherwise? That's not what matters though, my happiness or my sadness, it's only hope.

( his feelings aren't part of the grand scheme of things, it's all about what he does to move everything forward gives way to what matters. those that take part, the hopes that they sow through the seeds planted — he's excited always for what will come from it that he laughs, shaking his head. understand this, rio ranger, komaeda does not care for happiness, not even his own — it's just his religion to love hope, to see it thrive, and he let's that be known. )

I have so much work to do, hope doesn't just stop there because one person died, it might take many more bodies if they're useful for it, in becoming the proper stepping stones, but everyone works so hard to avoid dying... as long as it's not out of fear, and knowing weakness holds them back... they'll make it!

( there's some hope that's weaker than a few others here, but if that hope is eaten by the stronger hope, then... that's how it works for the creation of a magnificent hope. the way komaeda pushes them is wrong, but to him, he thinks he's as right as rain, helping them create a future that they can't do alone, and so he offers his assistance. he doesn't mind dying for them to find hope, as long as he gives his body to that, then he can be satisfied with his work.

when his body is gone, he won't know the feeling of satisfaction, he'll be wiped from the world, and only those who know about him can carry on his existence? or so he can hope, but he doesn't think like that or will, he'll believe that his efforts will show. )

Even now, there's hope I want to see prosper...

( he sighs, calming down, but that doesn't stop him falling onto his back with a loud thump, knocking his head against the surface. it doesn't hurt as much as it should, but a pinching pain finds its way, and he lifts a hand to run his hands through his hair, as one eye shuts from the pain. ) Ahaha... My job is never done. ( he's happy about it as he speaks, humming softly as he closes his eyes. )

Oh, did you beat the level?

[ What made him think otherwise...? Well, wasn't it obvious? It was those eyes that were devoid of all hope. It was that dead look that he's seen for his entire life. It was that emptiness that he's seen countless times. It's what he sees when he dares to look into the mirror. It's in every little familiar tic and expression and pattern. It's the way that he reaches for a goal that's always just outside of his reach, something so vague and ephemeral that anything could be justified for it and the goal would always be moved, so he could live his entire life without ever finding satisfaction.

But perhaps for those who were dealing with regrets, closure truly would be enough. That would be fine if so. He doesn't do much more than adjust his position slightly, stiff from laying so long. ]

Well, the outcome is the only thing that really matters.

[ He repeats the words, nodding in response to the question. He offers the controller back, the question written on his face as he continues.

There's holes in his reasoning, but the methods seem sound as far as he can tell. In the end, he only cares about the deeper dive into things because he wants to know more about this person, and that is why he chooses to give it so much thought. ]

You're right. You need to make sacrifices sometimes to get things moving. People need a scapegoat, too, something that can rally against. Otherwise they just wind up turning on each other, 'cause they can't settle on some common enemy. You need something that you can see and touch and stab a knife into, right? It's no good if it's just something vague like "escape" or "surviving."

[ That's what the Floormasters were there for. That's what Ranger was there for, to give the participants some common enemy to direct their ire to. There were other reasons, of course, but to have a common villain ensured that the infighting would be minimal as they all banded together to try and defeat. It wasn't a role he had chosen, but it was one that he was judged by, and it was one that he couldn't afford to fail. It was a blessing to be despised by them so thoroughly, especially when he hated them so much in return.

So he thinks... He can understand Komaeda's feelings, if only a little bit. ]

Anyway, it sounds like it worked, so I don't see the problem.

[ Because in the end, his satisfaction is all that matters. ]

Edited 2021-12-02 21:07 (UTC)

( with the controller handed back over to him, he takes it to start the level off himself, somehow they managed to get to the last level — komaeda likes it, it's because every level the dark blue yoshi will be sent off to find the world boss, putting his life on the line, holding so much responsibility to open up the next world, and without him the game can't move forward. if he had just set everything down, he's sure they'd live some sort of complacent life, and that sort of thinking felt like a gilded cage they all wanted to be trapped in — he gave them an option, one that brought them together, and now they strive towards a hopeful ending. )

Those concepts are vague, yes, and can be lost in definition too, but if there's something there. ...Ahaha, I did this for them because I love hope, I never want them to become stagnant, there's more than what's before their eyes.

( he clicks a few buttons, blinking slow as he wears a sheepish smile next, who knew that he'd have to explain something like this to someone. especially someone who would say that he's right in a certain part, but even that is new to him that he looks over to ranger for a moment, contemplating, and then turning back to the screen. )

It did work, I'm still working, and once they achieve hope... I'll be even more satisfied! I wonder... if I'll see it.

( his life is limited, his need to die is always constant in his mind, and he knows that he shouldn't feel this way — since he's died already, again doesn't matter, again won't hurt... how many times he inflicted death on himself only to remain alive in some way. perhaps he's growing bored, or maybe the taste of death is so close that he can't believe he misses his chance every time, but if luck can work through a system, it must transcend death keeping him like this.

the tower crumbles on the screen as komaeda defeats the final boss, and the next world opens up for them — )

Hm... This was fun.

[ It really is a charming story, something built on love and courage and a selfless nature that only humans could dream of. Mint chocolate was the correct flavor for Komaeda, he thinks once more. It was perfect for somebody who wanted to shock everyone awake; it was perfect for someone with an empty smile that never reached his eyes, and it was perfect for somebody who readily isolated themselves, and yet...

And yet it isn't, because it's not quite right. It's never been quite right. What is it though? What's the difference...?

....

He doesn't understand. Ranger can't understand, because he's a doll. ]

... Yeah. It'd be nice if you could.

[ Those words are surprisingly genuine. If they could succeed, if they could be happy, then it would all be worth it. But the goalposts would keep moving. Humans stemmed their own happiness, even though they were the only ones allowed it.

He can't understand.

He looks to Komaeda with those next words, that questioning look on his face once more.

No matter how hard he tries, a doll just can't understand the feelings of a human. ]

...?

November Event/tdm

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11/08 - 11/13 Cultural Festival

OOC

finally we'll have proof that he's been paying attention to komaeda's lessons all this time

pop quiz what was the second thing komaeda has ever said to ranger

that depends do you mean like full sentence wise or like topic wise or???

thats what makes it a pop quiz now doesnt it!!!

THAT IS NOT, YOU NEED TO BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

ITS A POP QUIZ!!!!!! FINE FINE.... give me both and I'll give a passing grade

DO YOU THINK EVERY DEAD PLACE IS HAUNTED relevant now, i tried for a topic but these

how are they friends if that was their conversation being philosophical bullshit im sick

i think it's bc komaeda called himself the grim reaper and was such a weirdo that ranger took to him

the way its abt to get its comeback is whats making me shake

i close my eyes so i don't see

stpp up literally chose him yourself komaeda is like rangers tulpa bc of that

UGH HE IS THO.... can't believe these two balancing each other out like that

thinking how im not allowed to burn their cr to the ground or youll drop ranger n i wont let u

no u can't bc i can't handle the emotional fallout, partners gotta stick together

HELP NOT THE EMOTIONAL FALLOUT it's just komaeda, ranger can do better like... another ultimate

KOMAEDA IS HIS PARTNER he can't do better, no one else is weird enough for him

STOPP HE COULD DO BETTER when safalin returns

I DUNNO IS SHE GONNA WANT HIM??? he's all independent now, she might be disappointed

ARE U SURE HES INDEPENDENT I mean look at him with komaeda what's that

WAY MORE THAN HE WAS BEFORE komaeda's just his favorite, he has others

true safalin was diff he could never amount to her level of codependency bc komaeda is always alone

exactly plus he's going to introduce ranger to his friends and stuff he's helping him!!

stop!! komaeda doesnt have friends but he does have people that he can show ranger to :3

it's fine ranger doesn't either so that's perfect they can just know ppl together

how dare you put them in the same box when you know they hurt my feelings

they're in this box together and hurting us both but u no at least they have each other

you know the magic box that you put the swords through...

the cremation coffin is also a box you know

those memes where you draw 2 people inside of the box