npc contact.3

[adsum]

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[adsum]

[ Nene will find that he isn't warm like a human is, but he isn't cold like Hanako is either, rather something in between, solid enough at the least for her to lean against if she needed to. ]

Not one of blood, no. I was conceived by the forest, and to my knowledge, there are none other like me in this world.

[ He probably doesn't need to say it, but this human form of his isn't his true form; he is a monster, and conceiving a family would not work even if he were capable.

It doesn't matter to him too much. ]

My students, however, were like children to me. I had the opportunity to watch them grow and learn, and I was proud of their accomplishments. To be a part of their lives was an honor, and was much how I imagined a family to be. I loved them with my entire heart, and I hope I did well by them.

[mermaidcursed]

( ... yeah, she'll lean. she needs to lean sometimes. and supporting each other... that's one of the major aspects of life. regardless of who or what they really were.

nene listens quietly, sipping at her thermos cup now and then. she thinks about hanako and tsuchigomori-sensei, and of herself and stephanie. she gets it, she thinks. but there was a reason she asked, to be honest... )

sometimes you remind me of my dad
he can be really clumsy sometimes though
but
its nice
i'm glad that you all had each other kazuki-san

[adsum]

[ Her father, is it...? He lets the smile settle on his face upon hearing the words, faint and melancholic, because he can no longer watch his students, and rather than grow and flourish, they are instead made to harden, with accomplishments numbered on their wrists.

And now, the part of their lives that he is is that of a spirit at best, a monster at worst. ]

As am I, lass. I only wish we had each other for longer... [ ...he lets out a sigh, turning his head away ] But that it not a thought I should have, I am aware. As dear as they are to me, it is long past time to let go.

[mermaidcursed]

i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting something that couldn't happen. not if you don't let it consume you. i think it's part of what makes someone human.

i know you're not. but parts of you are. it's enough.

( she wishes she could say it with her own voice, but instead, she bumps her head against his arm and lets the digital tone speak instead. it would be foolish to stay long- but he's safe, and kind and comforting. she doesn't want to go at all, tonight. )

it just means that you love them. there's nothing wrong with loving your family.

[adsum]

...Thank you for your kind words, lass.

[ He leans against her a little more, thinking them over. There's nothing wrong with loving, as much as his heart is capable, to the point of hurting, but there's loving and there's acting upon that love, and there's a difference there. ]

It is as if taking care of a bird with an injured wing: once they are healed, they are meant to fly away, not to be caged no matter how much they are loved. It is what I feel for the students here. I wish for them to be able to spread their wings and go anywhere that they choose, even if it means being left behind.

[mermaidcursed]

( there's a part of her that wonders if that means... they'll get to choose where they go, should they reincarnate. probably not, but... hm. is she reading into it too much? probably.

nene sits without answering for a while, looking up at the sky. )

would you go too, if you could?

[adsum]

I would not.

[ It's something he has thought long about, but in the end... it's not something possible for him who cannot imagine being in a world that isn't here. Where would he go? There is no place for a being such as him. ]

I began my life in this place and I wish to end it here. My heart is with my students... Once they have all flown away, there is nothing left keeping me bound to this world.

[ He would rather die. Has already asked somebody to make it happen. ]

[mermaidcursed]

( nene looks up at him a little sadly, but doesn't respond. if that's enough for him... she can't take that away. and if you want to save everyone, it's important to understand what being saved would mean for each person. for her, it is to be free of yogen, to continue existing as nene is a nice bonus, but... ...

for kazuki, it's as he says. even if she doesn't like it. ... seems she doesn't have anything to say to that, but she remains leaning against him, holding the thermos. )

[adsum]

[ He can't see her expression, but he can feel the way she shifts slightly against him, a heavier lean, a heavier soul...

... ]

You mustn't forget what this place is, lass. I am bound by "regret," but if not for that, I would think myself satisfied. I have existed long enough, and I am ready to go. Such an idea often is difficult for somebody as young as you.

[mermaidcursed]

( the difference between someone who's ready to go but can't, and wasn't but didn't have a choice. because she knows if she could return to the life illness stole from her, she would. if she could be reborn somewhere else with memories of being nene yashiro, even if it included yogen, she would do that too. she says she knows they can't... but wishful thinking is wishful for a reason. )

it is. i cant pretend i understand when i really don't
but
its not my job to understand, is it

[adsum]

No, it is not.

[ Not in the sense of a job, anyways. There are others who seek out that understanding, and still others that are forced to... Faced with certain death, having to come to terms with the end, being wiped away from all existence... ]

It is better that you don't.

[mermaidcursed]

( eh--? nene makes a small confused noise, turning towards him completely. isn't accepting death part of this place? or... does he just not want her to feel that sort of weariness he carries? )

what do you mean?

[adsum]

It is important to acknowledge, but you cannot live life if you always think about death.

[ And that's where understanding comes from, an obsessive need to search out the whys and hows of something that's only ever meant to be. ]

[mermaidcursed]

( oh...

for a moment, she thinks of komaeda- eager to kill, eager to die, if it means pushing things forward. but then, she thinks even with his obsession, there's so much he can't understand simply because he doesn't think like others do. and in his willingness to bastardize it, he loses the meaning.

...

but that's quite enough thinking about komaeda for the night, when she is trying to just spend time with kazuki. )

i agree
even back home when it was my job to help ghosts and spirits it was important to actually do other things

( surprise kazuki moriko's a priestess )

... if you go while i'm still here
i'll miss you though

[adsum]

[ ...he smiles softly at that ]

I promised another I would not leave until all my students are able to move on peacefully. I will not leave until I know you are in a better place.

[mermaidcursed]

( that too reminds her of her dad- how he'd gently promise her he wouldn't leave until she was sleeping peacefully after a nightmare when she was much younger. it's fitting in a sense too, since half the time yogen feels exactly like that- a nightmare. if there's a bit more weight in the lean against him, its fine, don't worry about it. )

okay
i believe you

( exactly as she'd tell her father. )