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npc contact.3
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12/24, keigo also
nah.
snakes can tell snakes and all, so the light switch smiles are easy to see in days prior and even now as subaru's brought keigo to the study hall later in the night once everyone's cleared out and yes it's touching on bedtime, but a kiss oughta fix any sleepiness as he sits them down in front of a... blanket-covered... bumpy pile of stuff?
... okay, the smile he gives the other's little more genuine than it's been lately, soft and quietly warm the way a nightlight in the corner of a room is.]
Can you guess what all of this is, Keigo?
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A blanket covered surprise.
They stare at the pile for a moment to make sure it doesn't move, like every child's fantasy of finding a dog with a bow tied around its neck under the tree on Christmas day, but it's wariness that gets soothed when nothing happens, rather than excitement. If not one of Subaru's mean surprises, then...
... ]
Is it something edible?
[ A good surprise, then. Something useful. ]
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Stop thinkin' with your gut! Well, that gut anyway~. Nope, nope! Sorry to disappoint you, but you're not the one who got something good to eat this Christmas!
[...
that was amami.]
C'mon~, I won't let you peek until you give me the right answer! Though I can be convinced to give you a hint...♪
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[ why not them!! never mind Subaru cooking for them literally all the time ]
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shoulder.]
'Cause it wasn't for you~. And it was all I could think to give him anyway...
[worldly guys are so hard to shop for... slash craft for...]
Anyway, I cook for you all the time, you glutton! Special occasions deserve something a little more special than the norm! [like how he did a lil solo for their birthday.] And I did a whoooole lot more this time too, so... honestly, I'll be pretty sad if you end up being that disappointed in your gifts...
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I won't be disappointed! Gifts are things I can keep, so I wouldn't ever!
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'Kay~! They're all super good gifts, so better than just keep 'em you'll be using them every day! Hopefully~.
[maybe. one of them at least for sure. two maybe for sure.]
Go ahead and pull off the blanket~. I couldn't wrap anything, so this is as good as it gets. [...] Next Christmas, I'll have tons of paper for you to tear up to get to your prizes.
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Chopsticks and spoons and microwave-safe mugs!
[ Is their guess for what's underneath the blanket as they whip it off—- ]
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but there are things that're useful, that subaru did his best with. there's a dark blue cushion to sit on, with the sagittarius constellation stitched on one side and the kanji for moon on the other whenever they might turn it over. there's a pair of black, fingerless gloves with a few stars stitched into each laying on top. beside it is one of the rubik's cubes subaru had keigo buy for him, unsolved with peculiar black marks on the squares. let me know if they ever solve it. there's also a simple messenger bag that, while not the best made nor particularly showy, has plenty of loose pockets within. it's also decorated with stars at the bottom.
...]
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They pull the gloves on first because that's something they can wear forever from now on and then picks up the rubik's cube... mmmmmmmm their fingers itch to solve the puzzle, they're definitely going to get this solved tonight unless they fall asleep first, but by the next day, definitely. ]
Wow... Did you embroider all of this?
[ checking the messenger bag pockets to see if there's anything inside... just in case ]
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Alongside some other stuff for other people. I tried making all of your wishes come true, but some of them were juuuust out of reach... Even for me.
[like the microfiber cleaning gloves...]
I did try though! But they were total rejects~. Oh, the gloves have a trick to 'em too, so listen up! You've gotta clap three times, rub your stomach and your head in sync, and ask with all your heart for your hands to be warm. Then they will be!
[...
one part of this isn't true. he just wants to see if they do it. for the record, though, if they follow instructions, their gloves will warm their hands almost indefinitely.]
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... ]
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[the gloves warm up like magic, because it is, but subaru's shaking with held back laughter.]
N-Next time you wanna turn 'em on, you don't gotta rub your head and stomach, okay~? You're so easy, Keigo, I love you~.
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These warm and toasty gloved hands reach for Subaru's face to tug at his cheeks WHY IS HE MEAN ]
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C'mon~, that was so good! You gotta learn to laugh at yourself a little, Keigo!
[it's harmless!!! and if they can't look dumb in front of their boyfriend then who can they look dumb in front of!!!]
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No way! I don't want anybody looking down on me.
[ Laughing at them, mocking them, thinking them anything but competent in everything and anything that they do, self-consciousness and anxiety boils them all down to the same thing. ]
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You know I don't, right? I'd never do this in front of the others, just when we're alone.
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[ Otherwise they're going to latch onto one of four other people in the school and never be alone with Subaru ]
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It really bothers you that much?
[not in an bad "are you for real" sort of tone, though]
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Does it not bother you when people think you're just... somebody who'll just laugh everything off, who just plays around and has fun, or whatever?
[ Not necessarily looking down at, but not being taken seriously all the same. Like a kid. ]
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there actually hadn't been many cases of that back in yumenosaki, but it was different there; here he'd been gotten onto about it, about the very person he was standing in front of now, and it'd rubbed him wrong. generally, no, it doesn't, but...]
Well... We're different. A lot of people like me for those reasons, you included. So it never really bothered me, no more than it bothers you that people think you're just some bright and cheerful guy with not a problem in all the world -- someone who's heart has no room for anything but a quick sale, y'know?
[but they're not just that. their smiles are quieter, their laughter loud only when surprised and otherwise soft and to themselves. they love a lot more, and a lot easier, than they probably want, but that's something subaru likes about them. they're uncertain and easily angered and always lash out when they're scared, they don't like to be made a fool of and want to be depended on so badly they might just break one day. they don't like the dark but are so brave when they've got an aim, and they're stubborn as a bull.
so much more than a charming, greedy shopkeeper.]
I like making people smile. And if acting like that makes them smile, then why would it bother me?
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Because it's not you... not completely. And acting all the time gets tiring.
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[not the whole who. a lot of people might be surprised if they saw how strict subaru was on himself, on others at time -- it borders on rokuro levels, bluntly put -- or how even he gets tired, how he can be shaken and silenced. those are parts of him too, ones rarely shown and ones he doesn't like to show, but parts nonetheless. that doesn't make the face he puts out any different, and it's the same in his eyes for keigo.]
Or what you wish you could be, I guess... But I don't think there's anything wrong with how you are right now, though. I love the you who wants to be someone else, and I love the you who can't be anyone but yourself.
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[ Who has little to no sense of self, who acts one way and then acts another, whose acting is different than being, who keenly feels the fake in "fake it until you make it", who wants to be a specific somebody, who wants to be nobody at all, who is an echo of people they know the best, who was ready to give it all up because who they are was not as important as who they loved. ]
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[he can build a portrait of them through their shared experiences, from the things they've said and the things they've left unspoken, from the things he's been told by outside parties and things he can connect in hindsight -- each piece is part of a puzzle and subaru can lay them down one after the other to see who he does right now.]
You might've forgotten who you are, or you wanna forget who you are, but I won't. I'll find you in any crowd you try and lose yourself in, I'll pick you out no matter what mask you hide behind -- even if you don't want me to, I still will.
[because he has a problem letting people go. because he clings with his nails, fearful and not wanting to be left alone. even if it hurts him in the end.]
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