Entry tags:

bulletin board updates

✽ There are several new points of interest at the bulletin board this month, most prominently a wooden box with the slit on the top just large enough to drop a sheet of paper inside. Above is an explanation of Secret Santa and a form to fill out for those interested in participating to write down their name, homeroom, and locker number. Sign-ups close on 12/5, and following assignments, gifts may be given in person or through one of the student council members if anonymous gifting is preferred (contact the mod to hire a stuco elf).
✽ Right next to this box is a poster with a large orange giraffe painted on it. The contents of the poster has nothing to do with giraffes, but rather, is an advertisement for student store commissions featuring quality work with quick turnarounds and a special discount for the month of December if you buy five or more commissions, or bring the shopkeep a warm drink and maybe a snack while they're working.
✽ To the side of the class roster and current ranks is a digital countdown, and scrawled on the bulletin board itself is the message "You're almost there! You can do it! One more push!" but it's unclear whether this message refers to the countdown to the new year, or to the long glass tube situated along the edge of the bulletin board next to it. Maybe both. The tube looks similar to a graduated cylinder, holding a total volume of 5000 ml and currently containing 4850 ml of dark red (presumably) blood, hot to the touch. It can not be broken or removed. The mod will be in contact if any character action this month causes the volume to change.
✽ A neatly typed notice, half buried under all the other announcements, contains a reminder that tuition will be due soon for those students continuing to study at Yogen. If tuition is not paid in full by the end of February, "compensation" will be taken instead.
✽ And finally, there is a notice from the student council that proof of club activity is once again due for submission to the student council by 12/24, otherwise the club will be dissolved and resources taken back. Please submit activity proof to the toplevel below.

12/20 - 12/24 finals week

✽ The week before winter break is finals, with many students cramming as many math formulas and foreign country leaders into their heads as possible without it all spilling over, while other students have decided to chance the practicum instead. Those who have signed up for the practicum are asked to meet inside the auditorium after homeroom at the start of the day while test takers begin their written exams. Students are allowed to change their minds on which to take, up until the end of homeroom on Monday, after the bell rings and the doors close.
✽ For the test takers, finals last for five days, from 8AM until noon each day, after which students are allowed to go home, or have lunch and continue studying in their homerooms or in the library. At the end of finals on Friday, students are asked to remain in their homerooms over lunch break while their exams finish being graded, after which homeroom teachers will return and ask certain students to go with them to the faculty office. These are the failing students. Which the homeroom teachers themselves have the pleasure of executing for their failures. All other students are dismissed and wished a happy winter break.
✽ For those opting for the practicum, finals last for two days, from 8AM until noon on Monday and Tuesday. All students from all grades meet in the auditorium the first day and are told the very simple rules for this semester's practicum: in order to raise your failing grade, all you have to do is kill another student, upon which you take their points for yourself. At the start of both days, students first gather in the auditorium for a headcount and then are given a half hour no-killing grace period during which they are allowed to scatter and find the best sniping/ambushing/hiding spots. The hunt is limited to four hours each day and kills must be done on campus; any kills done outside of these parameters are just for fun and do not count towards their final grade. Points are given for kills involving students in the same grade level of different homerooms (e.g. third years only benefit from killing other third years) and points are revoked for kills involving other grade levels or test takers not participating in the practicum. They studied hard, leave them alone. Most students need only one or two kills to pass, but multiple kills stack and earn them extra credit that will carry over to the next semester. Students who end the second day with a still failing grade will be called to the faculty office. ... All remaining students are dismissed and wished a happy (early!) winter break.
✽ A winter storm starts to whip up around noon on the 24th, raging through the night before settling down come morning, blanketing the entire campus with several feet of snow.

OOC

✽ PC faculty still have finals: they will either take written exams excluding that of their own subject, or they can take the practicum. Players with faculty characters are asked to reply to the toplevel below to indicate the number of failed students per class, but characters do NOT have to ICly be responsible for killing failed students. Unless they're cool with that, and if so, please let me know.
✽ This is a reminder that for any character that murders (again, please let me know), they will experience the same pain the following night and lose powers/abilities for one week. Two weeks after the murder, +1 tally and +100 merit points will be awarded for each kill.
✽ The void in the auditorium continues to grow, and (pending character interaction) by the end of the month will encompass the entire right wing of all floors, including the locker area but not the rooftop. Please mind the void, murderers.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Well, in truth he could only dismiss it so lightly because he had assumed there were already medics in place. That sickening feeling doesn't ease up, but Ranger is a product of logic through and through. He has all of the technical knowledge by default, and he had learned from Safalin over time (since he needed to be able to care for her as she did him,) but the gap in practical experience was wide. A shame there weren't any cadavers here that he could put to good use.

Maybe next time somebody was killed... It wasn't like they were using it anymore, right? That would be the fastest way to start sharpening his skills. He'd rather use a living person, but he'd already promised not to do so. Until such a time that he was no longer beholden to that and may test and poke and cut as he so pleases, Rio supposes the recently deceased will have to do.

He closes one eye as Komaeda pulls at the curl. ]

I only have to look out for certain people. Sucks for everyone else if they're in trouble.

[ Rio lets out a little sigh. ]

... Hmmm, so you're saying, "practice until you can help me with any inevitability," right? Say it clearly, or I won't get it, 'cause all I got is textbook answers, ahaha~

[ He flips to the cat card, though, and he doesn't seem displeased by this turn of events. This, he thinks, is how his partner should be. But if he wants a partner who can cure him even in the case of the worst inevitability, he needs to say so.

If he does that, then without a doubt, Rio will develop those skills for him. ]

Did I say that?

( does he want rio to sharpen his skills just in case something horrible happens and komaeda can't trust anyone else to heal him, should he allow him that right to have the knowledge to make calls over the human life? they're precious, and there are some people who can not be saved, would rio be able to accept that someone could die under his knife despite he did nothing wrong. rather, there's only certain people who he'd manage over, and individuals that probably wouldn't see the light of day unless requested of him. )

I don't recall! I gave you an option, so it's not bad to pursue, or pick up a few tips and tricks. Ah... you make it sound like I stay in enough trouble to warrant an actual command.

( or perhaps he does, had he let the nurse leave at that moment, he could have died without in a matter of moments. while they're here, he can feel the pain in his abdomen, and he has to breath in slow, and then exhale afterwards to keep himself going without thinking of the burning sensation located there. if only the worst of it was just closing his eyes and ignoring it the way rio does as komaeda plays with that strand of hair, but unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

in response to that, he lets go of the piece as he smiles, not against the idea of rio looking into a small hobby. )

What sort of treatment will you learn first? Oooh, what about transplants? Or maybe checking to see what innards have been removed. With or without anesthesia?

( rapid fire questions, and all of them don't have to be answered, he's just giving substance. )

[ That is the problem with being a human, isn't it? No matter how conditioned one is to ignoring pain, the human body is designed to react in a certain matter to pain. There's mechanisms in place that make it obvious when one is in pain, and to help pin down the exact point. So it is that he offers Komaeda that questioning stare that he sometimes does - questioning, slightly offended, wondering what might be so important that it's being hidden from him.

It really is difficult having a doll as a partner, isn't it? Safalin had struggled with the same thing; Ranger could just glance at her and know her exact thoughts more often than not. So it is that the sudden comment, along with that slight shift - slow and careful breaths, focused on maintaining a sense of normalcy. He glances to see if his hand starts to twitch and move, or if he's conditioned his response to avoid that. Failing that, he'll look for any slight inclination - leaning forward, drawing in muscles, anything that might tell him if he was overthinking it or otherwise. ]

... What happened?

[ Flat and clinical. He's noticed something ever so slightly off, and now he's problem solving. His eyes flick up and down, scanning Komaaeda once more. ]

You don't just bring stuff like this up out of no where.

We were talking about Safalin-san, which prompted the idea.

( short and sweet as rio troubleshoots him, and komaeda knows all too well what's happening here. he does only mention things when they're perfectly convenient, but there's a few honest bits in his requests.

he won't immediately move back to avoid flinching, and he allows rio to look him over which feels like years, an entire decade as he does his best to not show any pain from his body. should have asked what the day on this thread is, i imagine a week or something, because anything closer to the 2nd would hurt like a mfkr. )

Easy, easy...! Is it wrong to take advantage of an opportune moment?

( he exhales tiredly, a little wheeze afterwards, but komaeda breathing is more like steady breaths. not wanting to do so much, mindful of each one he takes, but that could be from the dust before? )

Hmmm...

[ He's taking care to remain as steady as possible, which was the best indicator that a person was trying to hide their pain. Ranger doesn't like touching people, and he doesn't like to be touched, but he's not above poking and prodding his partner to discern the issue than he would be to take apart a computer in order to find and replace a defective part. Aside from that, he truly is a product of a company that specializes in medicine and technology, and so he sees no shame in the idea of a fuller inspection.

In many ways, his background does show. He needed to be able to care for participants to a point, but also Safalin herself in the event that something should occur. He had been taught some basics consequently, and he'd spent enough time watching her to have picked up on more than he might otherwise have. By the same token, he preferred to defer to her for a multitude of reasons, one of which was simply that she has a better sense for how delicate people are.

Which is why Rio, who so often lacks that and is solely concerned about problem solving and answering questions, is presently going to try and find the answer himself by lifting Komaeda's shirt up to scan. He doesn't seem to be avoiding the use of any limbs, so this seems like a safe place to start. ]

... If you need a partner who can support you as a medic, I can do that too. I have all the perquisite knowledge, so I'd just need more experience working directly with the human body.

[ It's his job to identify and pick up on things like that, but... While he could pick up on emotional needs just by watching closely, physical issues such as the need for medical care weren't something that would come to him intuitively. That was why he preferred to leave it to other humans. ]

I'm not human, and I don't really think about stuff like that, so you have to say it directly.

[ He also needs to be directly told not to do stupid things like exactly what he's doing here... But he doesn't seem to mean any harm at least. ]

Edited 2021-12-18 23:53 (UTC)

( his hand is quick to wrap around rio's wrist as he goes about lifting komaeda's shirt up, his grip is tighter than usual as he keeps his prosthetic in place. the small whirrs that it makes in the void that echoes left and right, and underneath his clothes happen to be a freshly bandaged area around his stomach that's been taken care of. his breathing is still the same, and there's a small chatter of his teeth from how cold he is. he'll allow rio a moment to inspect the area, the bandages should be more tahn enough, before he takes a step back to pull his shirt from the other's hold, and smooth it back down in place without touching that sensitive area. )

It wouldn't be for me, Riokun... it's just that you never know what's going to happen.

( he looks down at his stomach, before bringing the front of his normally open jacket together only to zip it up properly which is probably a first time for everything that he's done here. komaeda understands he can just undo what he's done, but he's seen, so there's no reason for him to continue doing so. was it something he was trying to hide and lie about? it just wasn't on his mind, but having someone in that field does strengthen their numbers, and cuts their losses.

with an exhale, he laughs softly, but there's this burning sensation that tingles in the area, slowly creeping up. )

It's not a bad idea, but it's dangerous considering it's always smart to remove the doctors in order sabotage everyone one by one.

( it's inconvenient, but that doesn't mean the area has to be the topic of conversation. )

[ It takes him a second to remember how difficult this place must be for Komaeda, who already ran cold. It's one of those things that it's easy to lose sight of, but the tight grip on his wrist tells him that he's gone too far. It's a message that he receives and disregards as he looks at the inspects the area before letting his hand drop back down to his side once released. He stares for several seconds, considering, before he seems to come to some conclusion.

Rio doesn't press the matter any further, although he certainly could and would feel no guilt in doing so. He looks behind Komaeda and gestures forward instead. It wouldn't do to stay in one place for too long, though he's happy enough to wait if needed. ]

Well, there's a reason I don't make a habit of talking about what I can and can't do.

[ There was quite a bit, and his skills were only growing by the day. That had the potential to be troublesome for several reasons once revealed, and so the less that he needed to say, the better. ]

I'll think about it.

( he doesn't take rio for a jack of all trades, but he's capable of things better than most can even say. komaeda understands that, and it's why he brought it up as an idea. if he doesn't go through with it, then there's no hard feelings, but he'll always be aware of how much he's able to do in the medical field, so that's to his advantage more than others. )

Hm... I trust you.

( forward is one way, but komaeda decides to go the opposite way, they finally made their way up the stairs, and he decides to walk back down them — hopping over the other step so that he doesn't get his foot caught in the trap. that's his own mind at work, deciding what would be helpful for him, but this isn't helpful at all, it's more so him trying to decide what to do next. luckily it's not because he's upset with rio either, it might come from his own need just to wander, stick his nose into things that doesn't need him pestering himself in.

once he's on the final step, he looks down towards the side of the hall where the void is, he gives it a few moments to contemplate his next move. komaeda's aware any steps towards that general direction will either cause the other to walk down the steps too in order to figure out what he's intending to do, and mostly likely decide if it's a stupid decision on his part or not. he could have done this on the floor that rio's on too, but komaeda goes with his gut (aha) feeling to walk towards the right side of the hall. )

[ As predicted, Rio follows him without so much as another word. In the meantime, he stays close to Komaeda as expected, just a couple steps behind, watching him closely. It is, in part, to ensure that he can keep him out of trouble. Rio trusts his partner well enough, but not so much that he doesn't remain cognizant of what they're doing. That's always how its been, and it's not a habit he has any intention of dropping. But there's another reason why he's watching, too. He's trying to discern if Komaeda isn't a little agitated and, if so, how to approach that problem.

He flips between cards as he moves, uncertain of what emotion he wants to present now. Happiness? Sadness? An intense stare? It seems as though more and more, he can't determine what face he's supposed to put on for this person. That, too, is quite the quandary. Between the two, he winds up following along in silence for the moment - that's nothing out of the ordinary for Rio, though, who so often needs time to collect his thoughts and never speaks without reason.

Though maybe he's supposed to here? He's never felt much pressure to to so before, and it was one of the things he liked, but he's suddenly uncertain. In the end, all that comes out is a small sound, ]

... Ummm...

[ Well, there was an attempt, anyway. ]

You're exactly right.

( he responds as if he's ready rio's mind on what he should be doing. komaeda stares at him to make sure he knows who the ultimate is speaking to, and with a slow blink there's a small smile that appears on his face until it drops. he's aware of his own drastic mood swings, they're nowhere near enoshima's, but he's able to go through a variety of feelings that get faker and faker as he shifts through and so what does he feel now? irritated? sadness? he doesn't really feel dejected, nor does he wronged? he's pretty calm at the moment from what rio can see since komaeda doesn't struggle to hide his feelings like he did his bandages. he's only a few steps away from the void, making sure to not go any further to ensure his survival, and with his right hand held out. )

I'm going to bleed into the void and see if that does anything, I've never done it before, and the shadows here crave dead bodies... do you think I count?

( he turns back properly to stare into the void, watching the darkness is never ending, and the way it draws him in, but solid colors normally have that effect.

there's a passing thought, is there distance between them, will rio be fine with that? komaeda had put them in a difficult spot with the way he walked away, turned a corner, and if now thinking about cutting his hand. if the other could bleed, then maybe he would ask the other to do so, but since he can't... )

You can sit with me while I do it! It's fine, really.

... Nagito.

[ Rio says his name to buy time to find something else to say. Komaeda shifts moods rapidly sometimes, but there's always a reason for it. It's not uncommon for him to get caught up in some idea or another and proceed to speak at him, rather than to him, and in those moments he thinks he's just caught up in his own enthusiasm. In those moments he tends to just respond when prompted. Sometimes Komaeda would listen to his input, and others he wouldn't, and sometimes he would just watch as he talked himself through and contradicted his way into an entirely new answer.

That, he thinks, is different from moments like this. Safalin was the same way, but he was easier for him to read after knowing her for so long. She concealed her emotions well. She faked tears and faked pity and faked love, but it was rare for her to let her true emotions show. He thinks it's the same here, and that's why that feeling of something being wrong remains. If he had to guess, he had become agitated and was responding to that in the only way he knew how.

He steps over, reaching his free hand over to try and place his palm on the back of Komaeda's hand and push it down. His partner is light enough that he could lift him up. He's frail enough that he could yank him back by a shoulder or his wrist. He could grab his hand tightly. But pulling and pushing will agitate the injury in his abdomenn, and grabbing that hand will mean agitating the cut on his palm. So he tries to push it down instead, fingertips pushing down on the gaps between his fingers. ]

I don't think you should do that.

[ The cards dip for a few seconds, leaving nothing but the ever blank expression of a doll who can't even decide which emotion to fake, before he lifts the ice cream cone back up. He doesn't want him to. But his feelings don't matter, and his thoughts sometimes do, and so he says this instead. ]

Edited (words) 2021-12-21 03:10 (UTC)

( digging into the area is painful, but it doesn't hurt as much as it should, his senses are numbed, and he's been through worse. what he's done to his hand is child's play, and that's why he's able to offer up his blood while there's no meaning behind it. if there's blood inside of that tube, then they could test it here, too, offer a bit of his blood to see how the void reacts to it. he knows that bodies can be disposed inside of it, but it's been awhile, and so it doesn't hurt in checking.

he looks up, empty eyes looking at rio as he tries to find what has brought upon this pause, and why his hand settles on top of his own. komaeda doesn't believe he's done anything wrong, but maybe it was his response, and he finds that talking to others is difficult, and he needs but a brief moment to get it together. pain is a reality, even though it hurts here, it'll just throb worse back on the proper side where they belong, and so what happens here doesn't matter.

turning forward properly, he stares off into the void. )

It started off in the auditorium, and not it encompasses so much, that's pretty interesting, isn't it?

( it's conversation, it's talking at him, and it's no different from buying time so that it'll pass. time is an unlimited concept here, they could stay here for years, ages, and only second will pass where their bodies are. he stop, dropping his hand down against the surface of the floor as he sits down properly (his legs crossed so they don't dangle in the void). that's saying rio won, or komaeda's biding his time to see how he'll answer. it's the silence first, and then the expression card lifting second, he has no idea what emotion to have at the moment.

komaeda mulls over it, and smiles himself. )

You can smile with me, too.

[ Rio sits next to him. He places his hand over Komaeda's once more, but the touch is too light and too careful to avoid applying pressure to suggest any effort to hold it in place. Rather, it's a quiet way of saying that he's still present. What more can he do now? He has none of those human features that might allow him to be of use here, no blood to spill, no sentiments to express, and even now these small touches appear to him a much bigger deal than they should. He can offer his memory, but that's not something that can be shared; a camera would be of more use than him, as video and photographs can at least serve as a reminder. He hates humans, and he was made to support humans, and he can do nothing with either.

He can't smile.

Why is he a doll? Why was he to be created this way? ]

Huh... It's like it's devouring the whole place.

[ He lifts up the card with the cheerful smile on it in response to the suggestion. It's fake, not reaching his eyes any more than one he forced into existence, but as long as a person doesn't look too closely this can at least create the illusion.

Like this? ]

There's a way to set it back, and I almost learned.

( there's a mistake and error when you're not compatible to someone who wants battle to test their strength, but not victories. fighting against luck is a complicated matter, hardly physical, and just extends komaeda's survival rate by 100%. if he wasn't weak, he wonders if he'd know a little more than what he does, but even then, it's not enough to help, he's just aware that it can be done. feeding it blood doesn't seem like it'd solve the equation, but perhaps it'd fill into the chamber of blood on the other side, and so he doesn't mind testing it just in case.

when rio is this close, it because tedious to make happen, but that must come with not wanting his partner harmed. )

Riokun, I'd advise that you shatter glass when we return. We'll cut it so that it matches the shape of... ( he reaches out, pressing his thumb and index finger against the facemask to pinch it gently, but not enough to leave an impression. ) ...after, we'll paint it black, and put a cute expression over it. We'd need a sturdy handle to hold it up, but you'll have an easy way to exit the void if you happen to be on the wrong side at the wrong time.

( he could just carry shards of glass on him, but this is more creative, and sounds like it'd be fun. it's for survival though, as long as rio has a chance at breaking the glass, he can save himself if he falls into the void with no one to jump down and save him.

with that said, he releases the face card, and drops his hand back down on the floor. )

[ Almost...? He gives a curious look, but he doesn't push the matter any further. He flips the card over once Komaeda is through with it, looking at the cheerful smile drawn on it. He wonders what kind of expression he would put on it if he did something like that. Since Komaeda suggested it, maybe he would let him decide... It's not the most important thing, but he's fond of this idea. ]

That's a good idea.

[ He turns the card over a few times, considering what would be the best way to attach it, amongst other little details for construction. He holds the card back up in front of his face. ]

... Yeah, let's do that. It might be a little tricky to attach it, but I think we can figure it out.

Then we should leave and get started.

( glass is fragile, but rio applies the utmost care when it comes to his own cards, that means every action is accounted for that none of them are damaged. he can't stop a person if they try to touch them, but as long as rio keeps a steady hand when handling then maybe? it's the support they'd have to worry about, making sure that it doesn't break in half from the weight that acts as the "card". if they could blow glass, this would be simpler, but they'll have to check if anything like that is available within the school. )

Hm... What sort of expression are you missing?

( out of all the emotions that rio can flip through, which ones does he happen to have less of? making a profile would be too ambitious, and that would pose more of a problem for him so he rejects that idea. he'll push himself up properly as well as offer his prosthetic hand to rio, wondering if he'll take it again. )

[ Rio takes his hand without thinking about it, pulling himself up before glancing between their interlinked hands and Komaeda's face in an effort to determine if he should let go. He considers the same question, and he wonders if it might not be better to frame it. He thinks it would suffice to create something comparable to a hand mirror. ]

I don't have a lot that indicate a bad mood.

[ Sadness, anger, disappointment... He kept a couple, but by large he hadn't made very many. The point had always been to pretend at having positive emotions, after all, considering his own face was always empty and miserable looking. He searches for what else he might be missing. ]

Oh, I don't have anything like this either.

[ The cards bounce around as he draws a ω in the air with his index finger... Those kaomojis were pretty cute. The animal ones are cute, too, though he only has a cat. ]

( scanning komaeda's face will show him those same empty eyes, a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, but that's common when it comes to him. there's nothing about him that seems he's put off by the situation, and more so comfortable with what's going on. the typical, normal, and boring komaeda that adjusts to the situation without a care. )

Then I have the perfect idea. ( he snaps his fingers, interested in his marvelous idea which isn't marvelous, but he thinks it'd be fun. ) It can be double sided.

( there'd be more twisting his fingers around, and luckily rio seems to be talented in the trade, so he's not worried. )

We can made one side mad, and then the other madder. Wouldn't that be scary? ...Making you mad, hm. I wonder what that's like...

( rio got mad at him once, but komaeda had a feeling he was holding back, so what would true anger be like from him? part of him wants to see, no, all of him wants to see. )

[ Rio hangs onto his hand as they move along. He doesn't quite stop paying attention, but then, Rio always watches people closely. He's never made one that was double sided before, but it's a fun idea.

He flips to the cat card. ]

Sounds pretty scary! Ahaha, and I thought I was scary enough~

[ He pauses at the question of what he's like when angry. Until recently, he'd always felt nothing but pent up frustration. It's like the pressure's been released, despite the bitterness still swirling around inside of him. That wasn't real anger, though. When was the last time he experienced that...? Not since the main game. That is, perhaps, the only time he's truly felt that way.

Rio's had smaller moments, though, enough to give an idea, and so he flips back to the open-mouthed grin. ]

Hmm? You've already seen it, haven't you?

Hm? That was it?

( komaeda almost sounds impressed when he says that, he has no choice to show signs of disbelief, and for someone that fed off regrets; they must be worse than that. he likes to think so. people who are able to get in touch with their feelings are interesting, only because komaeda has never showed any sign of anger truly, frustration probably, but what he say ranger do before? it's difficult. he's passive aggressive at most, and that's because majority of his feelings are numbed. he is stuck in a constant state of "happiness", that's why he wears a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. )

It was pretty fleeting, most anger stays for a long time... what's a long term irritation for you?

( he's not asking this to get under his skin, rather to get an idea of how angry these cards should look like. one that implies how bad his anger can boil up to, how the bubbles snap and pop the longer someone annoys him, and the steam that can burn the skin along with the specs of water that fly here and there. what sort of lasting burn can the other leave on someone when he's truly ticked off.

komaeda blinks, slow, and nods to himself. )

You were in the Majority Game, and the fifth rule was to treat participants with love, but it never said you couldn't be angry. That's love too.

( even though that's just komaeda's fucked up childhood, but he's blurred them both together. )

[ ... ]

Hmmm? Oh, that just meant you had to treat 'em like they were important. Practice hospitality and all that. Y'know, be a good babysitter!

[ Ah, just remembering it sickens him. If only a few of them had died on his floor, or even just one, he might feel better about the entire affair. With his code modified, Rio did feel less of that consistent nagging, and yet he remembers that burning jealousy and hatred as clearly as anything else... No, he still feels the same way. He hates how important they were, how loved they were, so unlike him.

Flip, and it's to the ice cream cone, just for fun. What did long term irritation mean for him? He's not sure. He can't describe it any more than he can happiness or sadness, and none of the cartoonish faces drawn on his cards expressed anything that a person would truly feel. ]

Hmm... It felt like breathing. It seems to have dampened since my code was modified - ah, I guess my negative values were set pretty high - but I dunno that I could describe it as anything much.

[ His voice raises a bit, sliding into the dramatic tones that he uses to hide his lack of emotions - this feels more comfortable than the even, leveled voice he'd been using. Even now, it's as natural and normal as breathing. Of course, he doesn't need breath, and so he doesn't need those emotions either. When they're gone, he feels nothing at all. But sometimes that's better, because sometimes he just feels calm in a way that he couldn't before, and those moments are pleasant for him. ]

We didn't have anyone do that for us, and instead we followed a list of rules.

( in a way, he could say that monomi was meant to give then love, and they find love from one a other, but they ran her off at any moment that they could. it's hard to deal with stuffed animal-like creatures that could be working with the threat, and it's not even entirely that, komaeda just didn't enjoy the small annoyances.

anyway, he'll leave it at that they didn't have anyone to play they role. )

We lived on an island where we had to get along, and avoid dying.

( he notices the icecream cone, and that adds more to his blank expression than anything else. that one can be more terrifying than others, faking sadness and happiness is one thing, but that one could give off a very indescribable feeling. )

You would have taken care of me too, if I was a part of your game by treating me with love?

( that would have resulted in komaeda telling them off, too. it's a nasty little habit that he doesn't need from others, and the childish games are enough to worsen his mood, ah, he's never really been excited for them unless he's planned them in advance. this isn't about him though, and yet he's curious about this one. though his game was kinder, he's almost disappointed they didn't have anything like that, but... they could have, he's sure, murder was easier than doing nothing, and maybe because it was rooted deep into their way of life anyway.

it didn't take long before i realized it. i understood when i saw my coworker on the floor with his eyes ripped out. i understood it when i saw my boss with his intestines in his hands. i realized that this is pure insanity. but even though i know this, i still can't convince myself that this is real. in only 1 day. you'd think the world................

komaeda blinks, remembering a small note, and laughs a little after. )

Your emotions would have been perfect if he hadn't done what he did... ( hm. ) The type of creation you'd be would have changed the world.

( missed chances, it's like having a child, breaking their limbs immediately because one believes that since their bones aren't completely molded that they'll fix along the way, but they're crippled from day one. that type of analogy doesn't work properly, but he did worsen his child, how if donr correctly could have been a beacon for those out of touch with their emotions, give them a creation that could help, feelings are important when it comes to shaping the world, when it comes to...

he lifts his other hand to scratch the back of his head. )

I have an idea, I'll doodle a few, and you tell me what matched that feeling... Like breathing will be tough, but I'm up to the task. Hm, what's breathing like now, for you?

[ No caretaker, huh? That made sense, though. From the sound of it, there was precious little point to it other than the pleasure of seeing people kill each other. For that, there was no need for the careful level of rules, planning, and interference that the Majority Game required in order to proceed smoothly. They were following a strict outline. Each and every movement on their part was calculated, like moving pieces on a gameboard.

Ranger was just another piece that was created for that purpose. Then again, perhaps not. Komaeda's right that it would have been an event that would have changed everything if done properly. There's a part of him that suspects that it may have caused a rift between the three. Miley isn't a person who takes her work lightly, but nor is she one who allows others to stick their fingers in and muddy it up. As it is, his existence was nothing more than a waste. ]

Probably. It would've been the greatest achievement of the modern day and opened the door for even greater things.

[ There's no point in denying it. He switches to the open mouthed grin. ]

Safalin would have. She took care of medical care and other miscellaneous tasks. It's just to make sure you bastards don't randomly keel over before you can die in one of the games. Participants were able to put a little bit of trust in her since I was around... [ The cat face. ] Well, she would've executed all of them without blinking, so it was pretty stupid of 'em.

[ Ranger thinks his own role in that partnership should be fairly obvious, being that he was always intended to fill the gaps, and so he doesn't feel the need to get into that. He was the half of the equation that garnered all of their resentment, and he doesn't regret that. As for how I feel now, hmm...

It's back to the ice cream cone for the last part, the only one that he's yet still uncertain on. He already promised to breathe the same breath as his partner, and he's not sure what that looks like. He's not even sure what his own should be. It's the same, and yet it's different. Emptier, but fuller, because all that had been filling him was painful thought after painful thought. ]

... I haven't decided on that yet.

...Hm. You would have been.

( what would the world have been like then, opening the door to an ai that had emotions just like a human's? terrifying, to some. and the world's chance to advance to others, it'd give hope that the future would revolve around great things, and every hand that went into building rio's concept would have been part of that hope. yet, hope doesn't exist in the majority game, but what of outside of it, had it not been just that? it's a shame when someone learns they could have been everything, the game changer for what they've known, and now they're just a piece of the puzzle thrown away because they no longer fit. )

I'm not asking about Safalin-san, but you two worked together so there's no doubt I wouldn't have ran into her. Hm... I would have been ( quickly searching for a nice word, ) grateful about her because you took majority of their anger, you must have thick skin for that.

( it would have been easy enough to see that's how they work, if one had a nasty attitude, and the other was a bit nicer. if the kind one cared enough, they wouldn't have let you get into that situation to begin with, hence why their own teacher was frowned upon as time went on. nothing made sense. )

If she had done it, then you'd have no reason to do your job, and then you could have done anything with your life. Hm...

( being able to tune away afterwards must sound nice, if only that was the case, but their backs were always against a corner because no one else could stab them if that was the case. )

Haha... then that's fine, there's no rush. Your breaths aren't limited, and they can change at any time. You should find a rhythm that's familiar to you, and live with it. Then you can have a descriptor! Exciting, right?

[ Rio nods in answer. He's not certain if exciting is the correct word, but for now he thinks it's enough to slowly work through the answer. It was something he could only determine after gathering more data, and that meant checking his feelings over time. It's something that becomes more complicated as he considers the possibility of being completed, a terrifying yet intriguing concept. He was committed to it by now, but it didn't make it any less unnerving. ]

Yeah. You're right.

[ He thinks to let go of Komaeda's comments about Safalin, but he finds that it bothers him. As he noted, he would have encountered her at some point. It's more than that, though. Her role in the game defined Rio more than his own did, because if not for her then Rio wouldn't have been nearly as effective. After the damage that Miley did, he wonders if they might not have started to become numb by dealing with him alone. It would have been boring.

No matter how awful, wretched, and disgusting she had been, despite the fact that she had carved out the single eye that he could see out of and led him around blind, Safalin was his partner through and through. ]

You would have thought of her, [ He explains, flipping back to the grin, ] Because she would have been the one taking care of you. You get me? It's exactly like you said. You'd spend your time thinking, "ah, if you weren't here, I think we could get along!" I was just the one running the show, so you wouldn't really be dealing with me. I just don't have that personal touch, ahaha~

[ In other words, his only role was to antagonize and do the dirty work while Safalin healed and mended and bonded. ]

I would've been happier just being able to support 'em outside of it, didn't really need the Floormaster gig, but... [ He shrugs. ] Doesn't matter to me what people think.

[ Was that because of his limited emotional spectrum? No, because rejection hurt him more than anyone. Being treated as inhuman hurt him so much more than it ever could have if he had that capacity for something more. No, it's because... ]

The only reason they liked Safalin is 'cause they thought they could understand her. But you know, not one of them ever tried to understand her. I don't need people who don't wanna see the truth in front of 'em.

[ But Komaeda already understands, right? No matter how kind she acts, no matter how much she cries, Safalin is just as much of a monster as the rest of them. He laughs lightly, wondering if his partner realizes just how much of him is baked into his interactions with her now. How could anyone ask about Rio Ranger without asking about Tia Safalin...? It would be like asking how the moon shines light while rejecting the existence of the sun. ]

They were just seeing what they wanted to see.

[ It's the same with a lot of people here, but... Even so, he's not eager to break those bonds that he's made. ]

bulletin board updates

12/20 - 12/24 finals week

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