yogen | この気持ち…伝わってるといいんすけどね (12/31)

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この気持ち…伝わってるといいんすけどね (12/31)

Who: Hajime Hinata & friends
What: Happy birthday, Hinata-kun!
When: December 31, 9PM~
Where: School roof
Warnings: N/A, TBE

( there's various hidden signs that point towards the elevator, and if anyone catches sight, they'll see an arrow that points up, indicating for them to take it skyward. if they get off too early, there's a sign on the floor that reads, "next stop!", so if they dare, they can go back into the elevator and do as the words command. upon making your way to the rooftop on new year's eve, the setup is immediately apparent.

a number of glittering, sparkling decorations line the area — streamers, balloons, music, and a brightly colored sign the reads: happy birthday hinachan. at the heart of the setup is a bonfire that reaches almost shoulder-height — properly set up to make sure it doesn't spread anywhere further than its containment area, it sets a festive tone.

"borrowed" desks are also covered in an array of treats and appetizers courtesy of nene and amami, as well as enough love setsugetsukka to "make 3 people black out," which is probably enough to share if nobody gets too ambitious. the cake at the center of it all is the real star of the show however, almost as big as a person all on it's own.

to top it all off, even under the dim glow of the stars, nobody is short of a little light when natsume and noah's dazzling light show begins. once the main event has closed, a variety of firecrackers are brought out to celebrate with as things begin to wind down. varieties include the classic sparklers, these little spinny bitches, funky little sparkshowers, some little baby rockets, with the larger varieties spanning a couple feet at most. on the opposite side, there's a little table where a birdhouse is kept, and inside stuffed with all sorts of cotton and wood shavings are two birds huddled together inside, and a few treats that people can feed them if interest. if keigo looks at your character from afar, it's fine, that birdhouse they're living in was made by them, after all.

and at the centre of it all will be one boy with a bag over his head, kidnapped by rokuro arata, who sits him down and lets komaeda undo his blindfold — happy birthday, hinata-kun! )

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( should have expected that, a little sigh...

why won't anyone be with him! )

Hm, that's true. At least she's having a good time.

( alright, he's going to get up from where he sits just so he can walk towards the exit of the rooftop, bringing npckun along. )

Who do you like best between your brothers?

Oh... that's tough. That's like asking me to choose between sukiyaki and imoni.

[ Special in their own special ways, with different memories and sentiments building them up but feeding that same feeling of love and adoration. Like asking them to choose between their dad and Komaeda, who they stick close to as the two of them make it down the stairs. ]

Both of them are important to me. I can't say that I love them just the same, but I love them differently.

Are you able to describe the difference in love?

( for komaeda, love comes down to one thing for him, but he's heard their examples, and normally all aratas have the same mindset for a singular love. npckun has two brothers now, )

You can tell me! Our little secrets before the new year rolls over.

( it's important tp talk about this, because when they're lost in 1999, they're lost! )

Mmm... It's no secret, but being around Tarou-nii makes me happy, like I can't help but smile when he's around and it's just the two of us. He makes me feel safe, and warm, and important, like I matter, and I want to be my very best and become somebody he can be proud of. I want to become somebody who can make him smile and never doubt that he is loved, because that's how he makes me feel.

[ Like a person. A singular, precious person set apart from the rest, who cannot be replaced or forgotten. Immortal, never knowing the pain of leaving or being left behind.

With Rokuro, though... ]

When I'm with Aniki... I feel like crying. My chest hurts, and I don't know what to say or do. But when I'm next to him, everything feels right, like this is where I need to be, and like everything is going to be okay now. I feel like I would give up everything for him, just to help even a little.

( one step after the other as he listens, confused that people can feel that way — both separate, one happier, and one sadder, but it's all love in the end to feel that way. komaeda blinks, making their way to the elevator where he clicks a button so that the ride comes up, and there's a paper hung on the doors that tells them the location of the party on the roof. )

How passionate to care about them in such a way. Who wouldn't love that hope which an Ultimate gives, they're a light, and we're nothing but moths to a flame... as for the other, it rains, but even though you can't fly, being by him to warm your wings is just as right.

( right as rain, as some would say. there's more to it though, something unseen, or maybe those feelings are what komaeda doesn't know properly, and so hearing them from someone else.

it sounds nice. )

To be close to people like that to have such opinions, I almost wish I could be jealous.

( well, his jealousy over ultimates has... calmed down, he's not as bad as he once was. probably because he sees what makes them happy, and so he permits it, but in the end komaeda knows what makes them all happy! )

You don't have to be jealous. I love you too.

[ They hang onto his arm while in the elevator, pressing themselves against the bar along the wall like they would not have gotten into this metal deathtrap by choice but they'll do it because he's here. ]

You know, you're pretty much the only person who talks to me about this stuff, and the only one that takes me seriously. Who sees me as me.

[ Because for all everybody else says, they're "a little brother" to Amami who wants to protect them and help them grow, "a boyfriend" to Subaru who lifts them up and constantly expands their world, "a shopkeep" to everybody else, and it colors who they are in their eyes. With Komaeda, though, who states often enough that he doesn't love Keigo themselves but rather the hope that they harbor, they're nothing to him, and there's comfort in that too. ]

You're kind of like a rock, or an anchor, somebody there to keep me grounded and it's like that sense of security that Aniki gives, but different, because with Aniki, it feels like him being there will solve all my problems, just like he always used to. But when I'm with you... You make me believe in myself. Even when I'm scared, you make me want to try, because whether I succeed or fail, you'll be right here. If Tarou-nii is warm fire, and Aniki is cool water, then you're air: you like to pretend that you're not there, and that you're not doing anything important, but you are, you're so important. You keep me alive.

( due to them latching onto him, they can feel the way komaeda flinches as they speak, but he plays it over following a shiver, and leaning against them because they're warm. some days, and some nights, he does get cold. his hand reaches out to click a button, causing the cart to shake, sending them down. )

An anchor, how funny, such a familiar concept.

( his eyes glance up at the top of the elevator, slowly he presses his back against the wall, and slowly he smooths down until he's sitting. there's a chance he's bringing npckun down with him too as they go down one by one. he's not good at hearing comments about himself, but he wants them. consciously he knows that he doesn't deserve them, subconsciously he's aware that maybe he'd be a better person if he could have them. his mind breaks down parts of what makes subaru inferior, and what about amami doesn't see about npckun.

it makes sense. )

Kogamo.

( komaeda looks up at them, his eyes looking for something in theirs. trying to find if they're honest, or if they share the same eyes as their older brother. )

Do you want to be kept alive, or am I doing something against your will? ( no matter the answer, komaeda will always do what he decides to do, and what is right for hope. ) It's your hope I want to nurture, I want to see what future you mold by your own hands... because of you, you've made Amami-kun's hope grow miraculously, you even help that idiot Akehoshi-kun too... even Rokkun, he does what he can... it's all a different hope, but together, it builds something for you...

( he leans his head against their arm, it's not like he's explaining his heart, but he's speaking on what he knows. they managed to go down one level, a few more to go. )

[ They sit down with him, leaning back as if curled up on a couch for movie night instead of a rumbly metal box. The name makes them turn their head, and they're eyes full of surprise, warmth, longing, sorrow, love.

...

They look away, focusing their gaze on the door that couldn't open sooner. ]

I want to want to live. It's hard, sometimes, when I'm tired and everything seems pointless, and the only reason I'm hanging on is because I want to do one good thing with my life before it's gone.

You'll live, all it takes is for a few changes. We'll get rid of every rock that you have to start off the new year.

( down the second level... the home stretch. )

If you're removed, and we place you in a different role, then you can't live the shopkeeper's destruction. Do you remember when I spoke to you about your father, maybe... I can speak to ghosts.

( would going to him do anything? or will he say it's just a crazy little fantasy. )

Do you think he can make you a student... does he have that power since this school... is "precious" to him?

( would "mizuki" let them live for that? it's a new route, one he probably couldn't expect, then... would he allow such a change? )

I don't know... maybe. He changed his role, after all.

[ From a teacher to a counselor, quite a leap for a person who cannot understand human emotion. What is there for him to gain, though? Is asking to save his son good enough? ]

I'll talk to him, when school starts again. I need to be the one who does it.

Are you able to do that alone?

( the final stop, and the doors force themselves open on the final floor. komaeda will push himself up, dusting himself off so that they can walk through. )

I believe in your hope to do so, that you can make a path where you can be with everyone.

I don't know. If I'm the only one there, dad has no choice but to look at me.

[ They're slower to pick themselves off the ground, but they do, letting go and pushing off their knees to stand. ]

...the worst he can say is no. I'll be okay.

We'll think of another way if he says no.

( not too bothered they already know where their father is, and they both have the same little powers so it should go fine. )

It sounds like fun if you were a student with us too, homework may be hell, but you have people to teach you.

( now they can turn the corner towards the shop, and komaeda hums softly as they go. their slogan is about to become real. )

[ Selling happiness, let's go. aka Komaeda is going to have to carry 248902430434 rocks up to the rooftop, put that hammerspace pocket to good use ]

Homework sounds fun, though! I studied math with Sara a bit, and Ishimaru is teaching me math now too! Math is fun!

[ Just math, though, the other subjects they're sort of ehhh about ]

When you become a third year, you should take my class. We talk about hope and philosophy.

( he has the best class here, thinking about how he lost one student. yes, when they get close to the door, he'll start turning his arm so that he can remove the normal hand, and now attach one that has a sharp set of claws. when he scrapes them together, the shing is sharp and audible, and komaeda carelessly drags the tip of his claws against the wall that leaves a noticeable mark. )

Did you ever find the answer to...

( you know... he's testing if it's a common name in npckun's head. )

[ stoppppppppppp Komaeda looks over at them and it's them with their hands over their face, don't just casually detach your hand without warning, please, ]

The answer to what?

( IT'S JUST A PROSTHETIC ARM??? STOP!!! HIS REAL HAND IS OK... look at the claws, they're shiny, and npckun can see themselves in it when they aren't hiding. )

The math packet I left you to win money, did you ever finish?

[ No they're not opening their eyes, they're going to stand in the middle of the doorway just /o\ ]

Umm... Sara, Add, Natsume, and I solved the Poincaré conjecture a while back. Ishimaru is learning the Navier–Stokes equations so he can teach them to me so I can solve the equations. I'll probably ass Natsume again at one point, because he's smart and not as scary as Add.

...That collection of math has brought that many people together? Ahaha.

( he's glad, almost, smiling to himself as he looks off to the side. hope can be made through the littlest things, and as soon as they reach the student store, komaeda looks down at them.

he'll use his other hand to remove npckun's hands... stop that. )

Add-kun's not so scary, you know... he's saved my life, a lot. I trust that he'll do well with you. So you can trust him as well.

[ They lower their hands and sees Komaeda's other hands and goes aaaaaaa to themselves ]

He doesn't know me. He saves you because he likes you, but that doesn't mean he'll save everybody else.

[ It's like Subaru's endorsement of Meng Yao being a good guy when npckun expressed being scared of him, except Meng Yao did actually save them, even if it wasn't for their sake. ]

( he'll hide that hand behind his back?? no claws... can't see them. )

You sold him a compass, so he'll know you. I think if I truly wanted your survival, he'd do it for me.

( but that's whether komaeda wants them to live or not, now that he thinks about it... he wonders if killing npckun, then bringing them back also counts as saving them from their contract.

... )

But yep, he won't save everyone, but if you place that narration that he's unable to be kind, then he will be horrible.

[ Komaeda to Rokkun: murder is not the answer
Komaeda to himself: hm but what about murder

Anyways, somehow, they doubt they're that memorable. They're the shopkeeper, but only when they're in their shop, so they wouldn't expect Add to remember their plain generic high school student face amongst all the others. Also Komaeda has to be there to back them up, and that's too many variables to have faith in. ]

No one's incapable of being kind. If somebody said that to my face, I'd get mad too.

( ? komaeda tryna turn rokkun on a better path stop. )

He wouldn't get mad, he'd follow through with it, because he likes to seem unlikeable.

( he likes add enough, that's why he feels as if nothing wrong will happen as long as npckun knows komaeda. though, knowing him brings people to dislike that person, and him.

a small frown at the thought, he knows add wouldn't do anything horrible. )

If you learn about Add-kun, you'll understand. Ah, ah... where's the rocks?

[ Why would anybody want to seem unlikeable? insane

They hmm at the thought, and then goes to retrieve their collection of rocks. Most of them are in the gacha machine, the plain boring normal ones, but they have other tumbled stones too, as well as some small precious gemstones.

These they all hold out to him. ]

Rocks have their own language just like flowers do. Do you believe in their power?

( why would someone want to blow up the school wanting to take people's souls with them when they're being delusional? it's the insane people. )

...Amami-kun buys your rocks every month.

( komaeda bought one, but he's never been attached because he doesn't understand what power there is aside from stepping stones, now those have power. he lifts his left hand, opening the claws just so he can tear a rip in reality right before npckun's eyes, it's small, but they're able to chuck the rocks inside. they'll see them float in komaeda's little hammerspace, but it's not customized to his desires, he hasn't really thought about doing so. )

Does he get their power?

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